Chapter fifteen: am walking away...

This chapter is named after one of my best songs, am walking away by Craig David.

CaliGrlFoLife: I can't thank you enough for all your help, am truly greatful.

Thanks everyone else for still ready this story.

Paige finished reading her emails and off her gadgets. She ate breakfast and locked their door. She had already told Eva they weren't to be disturbed.

An hour and a half later as she enters their room, emily was seated on their bed, but her mind seemed like it was somewhere else. Paige walks to her smiling and kissed her cheeks from the side . As Emily looks up to see Paige she stands up with a sad face and was about to pass her when Paige grabs her. Paige had already prayed this was not going to happen, that Emily wasn't going to regret what happened last night. Paige swallowed hard then softly spoke.

"Emily?. What is wrong?. Please don't do this. I know what you're trying to do, please don't do it". Emily was shedding tears already, she couldn't look at paige. She didn't want to hurt her.

"I'm sorry Paige, but I feel so guilty!. We were suppose to take it slow!".

"We did nothing wrong!. We are married Emily. We gave in to what we are feeling for each other". Emily turned her head away. She didn't have the courage to look at Paige. She knew she was hurting her and she didn't want to.

Paige continued. "You wanted to just as much as I did. Are you trying to hurt me, Emily?". Paige asked quietly. "Because if you're trying to, I have got to tell you it's really working". Emily just couldn't look at Paige. She wasn't trying to hurt her. It's just that she woke up in a panic when she remembered this Paige calling her "Em" in pure ecstasy last night. It was the first time she did and it sounded exactly like her Paige used to call her"Em" whenever they were making love.

When Emily finally dozed off in the arms of Paige last night, she was in heaven. She felt love, contended and extremely happy. First, Paige made love to her, then the next rounds it was like Emily had always wanted to be loved. Paige dominated her, asked her what she wanted. Paige did her in two different ways Emily has never even experienced. She pushed Emily until she came so hard she thought she was going to die. They kept staring at each other and kissing each other lazily until they both fell asleep intertwined naked.

Emily had the best dream and fantasized about everything she was going to do to Paige the next day, too. Well, that's before she woke in panic about "Em".

"I'm sorry Paige. I just wish I didn't feel what am feeling. It's killing me inside". Paige came closer to Emily and used both her hands to hold her head to look at her.

"I have also been in love before". She shakes her head up and down indicating she understood Emily's turmoil "I lost her because my father wouldn't have me being gay back then. She was the younger sister of the Pastor. He felt it was too embarrassing for the community so he moved her. She didn't die Emily, I tried finding her for months. I was younger and didn't know I could pay to have someone find her. I didn't find her so I had to move on. Paige is dead Emily, She is dead!. You're never going to see her ever again but I'm right here, you've got me. Why can't you move past it?. Please explain it to me because I just don't understand it anymore". When Paige finished her tone sounded like she was mocking Emily with a bitter chuckle, that annoyed Emily.

"Not all of us can just zip up our hearts and forget the 'best part of our lives' you know. Maybe you never truly loved her like I loved 'my Paige' otherwise you would have found her, I would have found her". Emily mocked back as she spoke in a sarcastic manner.

Paige too felt it and she just couldn't stop herself. "Well if I remember correctly last night you wanted me 'your wife' to make love to you. You wanted me so much that you forgot all about her!. I made you forget. I made you speak in riddles and I didn't hear you call 'your Paige', not once. You responded in all different ways to me, I, your wife!. Not once did you complain or feel guilty during that time. Now you're feeling guilty?". Paige was angry, sad and frustrated. That's how she gets when she was pissed. She lashes out. She hisses when Emily didn't answer and starts walking passed her.

Emily couldn't believe everything Paige had said so she chose the only means available to her to retaliate. Looking at Paige with just the right degree of scorn, she said."If I did respond to you, there's a very simple explanation for it, but you aren't going to like it. The truth is, I find your intimate caresses not only sordid but boring! The only way I could endure them was by pretending you were my Paige and I didn't...!"

Emily cries out in panic and pain at Paige's swift angry move to her. Paige making her hands tighten punishingly on Emily's upper arms and with a vicious jerk, Paige brings them together crashing against her chest. Emily's head snapped back from the impact, and she see's paige's eyes glittering down at her like shards of ice. Her throats constricting and choking. She frantically tried to apology. "I-I-I didn't mean it! I-".

Ruthlessly, Paige's mouth swooped down, punishingly back and forth over her lips until they parted from the sheer, cruel pressure she was using. Tears of pain sprang to her eyes, and still the agonizing, endless kiss continued with Paige not showing any sign of caring.

"Lie to anyone you please" Paige growled angrily and savagely into her mouth. "But never, NEVER ever again lie to me! Do you understand what am saying to you?". Her arm tightened. underlining the warning in a slow motion so Emily could really understand what she was saying.

Wildly, Emily struggled. trying to draw enough air into her lungs to tell paige yes!. Her ribs felt as if they were being cracked, Paige was intentionally suffocating her and growing more enraged at her involuntary silence. Emily forced her hand up along paige's chest then up until her fingers finally found the lips locked fiercely to hers. Having been trained by Wayne when younger, Emily used all her strength to push paige away.

Paige released her so abruptly. All she knew was that she could finally draw great fast breaths of air into her aching lungs. Paige being a doctor herself, knew such act would most definitely cause Emily a lot of pain in her lungs first, then she was going to give her another straight shot to her heart. She ought to feel what she too has made her feel.

"I bow to your better judgement" Paige drawled with icy contempt. "That was both 'sordid' and 'boring.' In fact, It would be hard to decide which of us found it more distasteful".

Emily who was still trying to regulate her breathe was stung. She stiffened. meeting Paige's cold gaze with as much proud defiance as she could muster.

"Yeah? I don't suppose you found it distasteful and disgusting enough to consider letting me go?"

What Paige felt was not disgust, it was fury!. Emily saying when she was making love to her, she pretended she was her Paige!, Paige saw red. Emily had said that a few time when they kissed, but making love? When Paige gave all of her to Emily she said that?. Paige had enough!. She even consider taking Emily right there on the floor to prove Emily wrong, but she didn't. She wasn't that type of girl. For months she'd been tolerating her rebelliousness and overlooking her meaningless tempers, but not anymore.

Emily fields, Paige decided coldly, was in dire need of a lesson. She considered her spiteful inquiry as to whether she had found the last kiss distasteful enough to let her, well she shouldn't have dared her despite hurting her. She'd let her go alright, but before she did, Paige decided first she was going to make Emily kiss her, then when she had her desire fully aroused, she would simply disentangle herself from her and walk AWAY.

As if there had been no interval of several minutes since she'd snapped the silly question at her, Paige answered it.

"As a matter of fact you're right I will let you go". Emily's head snapped around. Taking aback by Paige's words, but chose to pretend to be elated, even though her common sense warned her, paige wasn't the type to be dare.

"But first" Paige's mouth came down hard again sending a jolt rocketing through Emily, exploding along every nerve until she was clinging to her, kissing her with so much want and desire, Emily's arms wrapped fiercely around Paige's neck. She couldn't pretend she didn't want Paige.

"Am I boring you?" She taunted, kissing her harder, more deliberately than before. Her tongue plunged suggestively into her mouth. "Would you describe this as sordid?".

Rage burst through emily. Paige was cold and deliberately lashing out at her with her own words. She dug her fingernails into Paige's wrists, trying very hard to pry her hands away from her. But nope, the kiss deepened sending plenty of more desire down her spine.

"Are you pretending I'm your Paige?" she jeered quietly "Are you?".

Stunned, but emily finally realizes what she has done. She had actually really hurt Paige with those things she'd said. Some how Paige had always seemed self assured and confident that she never dreamed anything she ever said or did could hurt her. But evidently she was wrong, she had hurt her.

"Tell me how much you hate my touch" She ordered furiously this time. Pulling her mouth from Emily's. Paige stared down at her with biting brown eyes. "You despise my touch," she hissed. "Say it now, or don't ever, EVER say it to me again, EVER!". Paige dragged the words slowly. She looked waned out and her heart was beating faster emily noticed.

Emily's chest tightened then shattered. She swallowed painfully, tears filling her eyes. "I-l-I can't".

"You can't tell me you despise my touch?" She jeered in an ominous voice. "Why can't you?. Tell me now". Blood draining from her face. She was shaking her face as if she wanted to clear her throat, touching her chest with one hand. She was obviously in pain "because," emily whispered, attempting a trembly smile, to humor paige.

"you warned me not long ago, never to lie to you again." Emily watched her features harden into a mask of cynical incredulity, she leaned up to silence Paige's retort with her lips.

Paige grabbed her arms and started to pull them down from around her neck. "Paige, don't!" she cried out brokenly, locking her fingers tightly behind Paige's nape. "No please, please don't!" Tears slipped down her cheeks as she continue to kiss her very angry, unyielding wife, the powerful dynamic woman, who had endured her hostility, rudeness, cruel words and unnecessary outbursts with patience and humor . . . until now, when she had badly truly hurt her.

Paige's hand went to her waist to shove her away, but emily pressed closer. Timidly, she touched her tongue to her tips hoping she will like it if she kissed her that way. Paige went rigid. Emily's tongue slid between her barely parted lips, fast and hard, And her world exploded with the violence of Paige's response. Her arms went around Emily, crushing her to her as her mouth opened over hers. Paige's tongue plunged boldly into her mouth, Emily moans, she started grinding into Paige. She wanted to take Paige to bed to love her, make a mend, but just when she was fully turned on Paige slowly pulls away from the kiss then lean against her ear and spoke.

"Sometimes the person we want the most is the person we're best without. It fucking hurts. You have gotten your wish, I'm walking away. 'This Paige' is never going to bore you ever again". Not once during this confrontation did paige call Emily's name. Emily needed to know she could live without ever saying that name.

Paige pulls away slowly with a soft smile on her face, nodding looking at Emily while still massaging her chest with one hand. She straighten up and walks out. She rushed down the hall to her study. She took her attack drugs in a hurry. Emily wasn't going to have the pleasure of seeing it build. She packed her work load and left. She didn't take any clothes or underwear. She had others all over the globe. She wanted to be as far away as soon as possible.

After boarding on her private plane, Paige texted Akin she was coming to Germany. He was already asleep when he woke and saw the text he called her but her line was off so he called Spencer.

"Hey baby" he says with a sleepy husky voice.

"Don't baby me, I'm to tired to get fuck through Skype or have phone sex. You will get the real thing in two days. Just be a doll until then". Akin laughed, she didn't even allow him to say why he was calling, but went with the flow anyways.

"Well baby since you're keeping my thing away from me I have no choice, but to get it from one of these girls eyeing me all the time". The line became quite. Akin knew quite Spencer is far worse than a rambling one so, he quickly changed the subject. he just got an X, he didn't have that talent.

"So what's up B is coming already without you? I thought you guys were coming together?".

"What do you mean she is coming already?".

"She texted me, I saw it this morning. she was on her way. I called, but the line was already off".

"And you just telling me this now? After the 8 hour flight it must have landed by now? Jeez!, I will handle you later now I got to go up find out what the fuck is going on". Spencer felt irritated by Akin's annoying joke and just now telling her about Paige. She didn't know which annoyed her most so, Just before she hung up the phone on him, she spoke again.

"Hancock you make jokes now but we will be sharing an inside joke when I get there". Akin was saying "it's just a joke baby please don't..." But Spencer had already hung up. She could deal with him later for now she was already on her way upstairs to ask Emily why Paige suddenly left.

She knocked several time without any answer so she walked in checking the kitchen, sitting rooms snd study then moving to their master bedroom. It was a bit dark she turned on the light and found Emily lying down shaking on the floor crying. Spencer ran to her.

"Oh my god Emily what happened?". Emily cried even harder.

Emily had slipped as soon as paige walked out. Since then she has been on the floor crying. She wanted to run after Paige, but her feets wouldn't carry her. The look on Paige's face was too much to bear.

"For god's sake Emmy please tell me what happened...please". Spencer was cleaning Emily's face and putting her in a sitting position. She began stammering.

"I-l-l hurt her Spencer, I hurt her real badddd". Spencer sat looking at Emily first then decided this was not helping so she stands up and pulls Emily up. She took her to the tub. She set the water right and pulls up Emily's top then helps her to the tub. She took her phone and calls Eva. Eva came and helped bathe Emily while Spencer got some food from the kitchen. They both took Emily out who was just sitting in the tub staring at the walls. Eva eyed Spencer. She wanted to know what is happening but Spencer said "not now".

After dressing Emily, Eva brought coffee but Emily refused to take it. Spencer excused Eva. When she left she wen't in front of Emily, held her from both sides shaking her. Emily looks up at her.

"I care about you a lot Emily, but right now I don't give a damn what you are feeling. We have a crucial meeting and for her to go without me, you most have done something very horrible. What matters to me now is Paige, so drink and eat something then tell me from the start what happened. For me to help I need to know from the start. Do you understand what am saying?". Emily nods."good. So eat something please". Spencer shifts back to the love seat in the room and sits down. She wanted to give Emily a minute or two. Just then her phone starts to ring.

"Not now babe, I'm in the middle of Paily crisis I need all the strength I have got"

"Baby what the hell is Pailyyy?".

"That's Paige and Emily courtesy of Hanna".

"Well good cause am doing the same. Paige landed like 30 minutes ago. Spence, she looked horrible. I think she had one of her attacks or something. She was pale and I know she hasn't slept. After we greeted she told me to get the contract files and drop them at her door steps and she wasn't to be disturbed. She locked herself in and left me at the door. This is not good". Spencer could hear the worry in her husband voice.

"What should I do spence?".

"You do nothing. She won't kill herself and I know she won't regress. I will think of something and get back to you. Just save yourself, make sure the files are in order then drop them off. After two hours go check if she has picked them then call me back. I will have the 'TALK' with Emily then we will be on our way".

"What do you mean 'we'?".

"From what I have gathered Emily has hurt B so I will make sure she unhurts her". Akin hissed. He will not take it lightly with Emily. Thank god she is far away he thought.

"Spence I will not have it. If she hurt B she will hear it from me". Spencer rolled her eyes. She knew he couldn't hurt a fly. But again this is B, Akin will do anything for her.

"You're not doing anything just sit tight I will call later. I love you".

"Love you more". As soon as she hangs up, Spencer stood up. Took the dresser chair and drops it in front of emily and sits down.

"Time is up!. Let me hear it from the top". Emily cleared her throat to speak then kept quite she didn't know how to tell Spencer what she did.

"Please I'm already on edge as it is. I promise you don't want me angry Emily. I'm trying to help both of you. You can tell me anything I promise you I will find a way to make it better, please".

Emily told Spencer everything from the beginning how the betrothing happened. How they kissed and everthing she has been saying to Paige about her Paige. Her troubles and guilt, Everything they have bickered about and what happened yesterday morning. When she finished she was crying she couldn't look Spencer in the eye. Spencer sat down quite for 5 minutes then spoke.

"I hate lies. So thank you for telling me all this. I just want to ask you one question Emily and please be honest with me this time too. Do you love Paige?". Spencer whispers. Even though she understood Emily was already in love with Paige, she needed to hear it from her, but she was also scared of Emily's answer. She knew Paige too have fallen I love with Emily.

"Am so In love with her it's scary. I swear I didn't mean to hurt her. I will do anything to make it up to her I swear it". Spencer smiles for the first time.

"Well then, call in sick get a week off. we're going to Germany, but first we're going to New York". She stood up to leave.

"Am going to send Eva to pack your bags. It doesn't look like you can even pick your handbag. I'm gonna call the pilot we will be leaving in like an hour". Spencer left a shocked, but optimistic Emily on the bed.

Spencer has told Eva that Paige and Emily has quarreled and that they were going to go make it up to Paige. So when Eva came up she simply went to the shared closet and packed Emily's bags without saying a word to her. People say she has a big mouth so she didn't want to say anything to hurt Emily. Emily understood the change in Eva, so she followed her. She stood leaning slight towards the cupboards

"I know you hate me now. I know you have warned me, at least indirectly, but I still did it". Emily was cleaning her tears, she continues.

"I swear it I will make it up to Paige. I will do whatever but I will make it better". Eva didn't say anything she just nods her head.

"Please?". Emily wanted to hear her say something. Just anything like she has always done.

"I just don't get why you hurt her Emily. It pains me so much. I noticed you have never really stop to learn anything about Paige Emily. You have never ask me what Paige likes and dislikes. You have never made it easy for her to love you Emily. My paige has so much love to give you if you let her". Eva inhales then moves closer to Emily.

"No one knows this, but Paige bought me a house and sent all my siblings to school from her personal account Emily. All my siblings are well educate because of her. She asked me several times to go back to school, but I don't wanna. I have enough money to do like I want and I'm very happy here Emily. She even takes me on her trips sometimes to spoil me". Eva chuckles.

"Emily she doesn't brag about it, she did all that without my knowledge and when Samuel my brother called and told me I cried, I went to her crying and thanking her. Do you what she said?". Eva asks Emily. "You're welcome?". Eva smiles "No, she said I shouldn't belittle our friendship by thanking her and that It shouldn't change the way I act around her. Meaning I should continue telling her how I feel always, you know I have a big mouth...". They both laugh.

"It just Paige has been through a lot and I haven't seen her this anxious and smitten about anybody in so long time Emily. I just want you both happy, is that too much to ask?". Eva had few tears in her eyes too. Emily hugged her. "It's not and I will make it right, I promise". Eva pulled back and gives Emily a kiss on her forehead". I know, I know you will". They both smile then Eva suddenly remembers what she was doing there.

"Let me finish packing up then before Spencer becomes all hyper on our asses". Emily smiles and went back to their bed and sat down. God knows she cant wait to see herself in Stuttgart.

I know, I know don't kill me, but it's better done now than later.

Next, well is rough then sweet...

Have a great weekend everyone!