The Kiss

I didn't want to go to school again today after what happened yesterday, so I said to my Dad that I was sick.

I lounged around the house all day with a mug of coffee and a stack of magazines.

I wasn't in a good mood.

Kristen had sent me a text that morning saying not to pick her up from school like I usually did, Dylan was getting a new car and she was holding carpool now.

I sat at the kitchen table, flicking through a copy of Seventeen, when my cell-phone started ringing.

I bit my lip before looking at the caller ID. It was Dad.

Breathing out a sigh of relief and flipped it open. "Hello?"

"Massie, I have some very important news about your Mother. I'm coming home shortly. Just uh...Bye."

He sounded so worried ad stressed out. Mom? What about her? She was coming home from Spain next week. And Dad? He should still be at work? What was wrong?

I jumped when the door-bell rung and dashed to open it.

"Dad what's wrong?" Dad simply dropped his briefcase and muttered to himself as he walked in to the kitchen, me following.

"Take a seat Massie." I sat down opposite him and frowned.

"What's the matter Dad? Just tell me? What happened with Mom?"

"Uh Massie, your Mother will always love you, you know that right? And she'll always be in your heart."

My heart was racing. I knew what was coming next. I didn't want to believe it. I couldn't believe it.

"Massie, I'm afraid your Mother was involved in a car accident in Spain. I'm afraid Kendra...your Mother...has...She's died."

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Kristen stabbed at a piece of lettuce in her Caesar Salad. She slowly chewed it, hoping the taste would get rid of the sour, guilty feeling in her throat.

She felt horrible about yelling at Massie, even though she kept saying to herself that she had only wanted to get close to Josh.

Dylan, sensing Kristen's discomfort, slid towards her, leaving the guys talking.

Her newly-dyed blond hair tickled the table as she gave Kristen a fake-concerned look.

"Look Kristen, you would probably be feeling bad about Massie, but the thing is, she's a liar. I-I saw her making out with Josh the other day, but didn't tell you then because I didn't want to hurt you. But, I guess you should know."

Dylan half-smiled, patted Kristen's hand and then went back to the guys.

Kristen's fork fell from her finger-tips and she felt an un-familiar wave of hatred wash through her body. How could Massie? How could she deny doing anything? Unless Dylan was lying...Ugh. Kristen didn't know what to think anymore.

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The next day Massie still wasn't in school.

Or the day after.

Or the day after that.

On the third day, Principal Burns made an announcement in the auditorium.

She cleaed her throat and turned on the microphone.

"Good Morning Students" her crackly voice echoed around the large round room.

"Caw Caw!" People near th back imitated her bird-like voice and looks as usual, which was what they did every time she started talking.

She frowned and started again. "Good Morning Students. Once you hear what I have to say, I'm sure you won't want to make fun. One of your fellow students' Mother has unfortunately died in a car accident."

Everyone started muttering to each other, wondering who it was.

Josh turned to Cam who turned to Plovert who turned to Kemp who turned to Kristen who turned to Dylan. Dylan looked at all their expectant faces. "I don't know! She didn't even say wether it was a boy or girl."

Kemp frowned. "It couldn't, well couldn't be Massie could it?" Cam rolled his eyes. "Kemp buddy, just don't talk for a bit OK?"

Principal Burns resumed speaking: "The girl is staying at home right now, as her Father is saying she is not fit to come in yet. I expect everyone to be very, very considerate. It sorrows all our staff to know that this bright, happy girl had such a heavy weight brought down on her. I'm sure all of her friends will be extra lovely to her.

Massie Block will return to school on Monday. Thank-you, please return to class."

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"Massie, your Father says you have to come down and eat now." Inez, the Block's maid, called from Massie's door. I didn't answer and simply rolled over on to my other side. I didn't feel like eating.

Inez sighed and went back downstairs; after she got the picture that I wasn't coming.

I was feeling all sorts of emotions. I felt sad, so, so sad. Mom was never going to come back, no matter how much I wanted her to.

I felt regretful that I had never bothered to get close to her. The chance to do that has now slipped away before I could grab it.

I felt angry that Mom could leave me. That feeling was really strong. How could she just leave? I needed her! She didn't even bother to say goodbye properly, even though I knew she didn't purposely leave, I couldn't help but feel like this...

I felt like I was slowly going mad with all these mixed up feelings.

I mean. I couldn't even remember the last time I had actually felt amazingly carefree and happy...except at Alicia's party when I had that drink.

I swung my legs out of bed and went downstairs. Dad was talking on his Blackberry and sipping a mug of coffee. His back was to me so he didn't see me come in.

I quietly took the brass key from the hook on the back of the door and un-locked the liquor cabinet.

I took out a couple of bottles without looking at the labels and darted back upstairs with the bottle opener in my hand.

In my room I shut the door and locked it, then proceeded to opening the larger bottle.

I took a gulp straight from it and winced at the fiery burning in my throat. It bubbled inside me, making me feel rebellious and wanting to do more.

I was just having another gulp when I heard Dad coming up the stairs. I quickly shoved the bottle behind my lamp and jumped in front of it. Dad was holding a plate of roast potatoes and vegetables.

He put it down on my bedside table. "I'm going to a meeting OK Mass? Look Massie, your Mother would have wanted you to be happy. She would have wanted you to carry on with life."

I plaster a smile on to my face. "Yeah Dad, sure."

He smiles and shuts the door behind him.

Psh. Yeah right.

About ten minutes after Dad leaves, the door-bell rings.

I'm holding on to the alcohol bottle as I go down the stairs to answer it. I take a gulp as I open the door and see...

Derrick.

He gasps at me holding the bottle and starts to turn away.

"No wait Derrick!" I shove the bottle on to the window ledge and go down the stairs after him in my fluffy slippers.

I place a hand on Derrick's shoulder before he reaches his Mercedes.

He turns around, his brown eyes wide. "Why Massie? Why are you doing this? Your Mother has just die-"

"Yeah thanks Derrick I think I've covered that fact"

He flushes and mumbles. "Well, you know, it must be hard but drink isn't the answer."

"Is that why you came here? Anyway, what's been going on at school? What's happening with you and Dylan?"

"M-Me and Dylan? Why on Earth would there be anything going on between us two?"

"Well, bitches do tend to like you so..."

Derrick smirks. "So does that mean you're a bitch?"

"Whoever said I liked you? I'm serious Derrick, you were completely blanking me at school, and you've only come round b-because my Mom died." I force myself to say the last bit.

"You've changed Massie. Look at you! You're lounging round the house, isolating yourself from the world with a bottle of whisky or whatever that trash you're having is. Why Massie? Why?"

"Why? Because my life has turned in to shit and my friends have gone against me-"

"That's not true Massie, you brought it along yourself you-"

"No! No Derrick, you don't understand! That is the only thing keeping me together because it makes me feel like I am doing something! You don't know, you wouldn't understand!"

"I can't believe this Massie. Maybe you will be better off like this. Don't expect anything off me in future then. Just..."

And then he does the thing I'd least expect.

He bent down and kissed me. A soft, sad, kiss. We stared at each other until he opened his car door and sped away.

I stood there for a while, my fingertips on my lips, wondering why on Earth, I had ever changed things.

He was right.

I did bring it upon myself.

I thought I hated Derrick.

So why did I return the kiss...?