HI GUYS!!!

I AM SO SORRY I HAVENT BEEN UPDATING BUT MY LAPTOP CRASHED AND I COULDNT WRITE ANY MORE CHAOTERS AND I JUST GOT IT FIXED TODAY SO I WROTE A NEW CHAPTER STRAIGHT AWAY! HOPEFULLY YOU HUNG ON THERE BUT IF YOU GAVE UP ON ME THEN I AM SO SORRY AGAIN AND IM NOT ONE OF THOSE FF AUTHORS THAT ALWAYS SAT THEY WILL UPDATE BUT NEVER DO!

SORRY IF THIS SUCKS I DID IT V. QUICKLY AND IT IS JUST TO LET YOU KNOW THAT IM BACK AND ALSO, I WROTE IT ON MY PROFILE ABOUT NOT UPDATING BUT THERES NOT A PROFILE ALERT SO U PROBS DIDNT KNOW THAT.

PLEASE REVIEW!!

BTW IT GETS A BIT HAPPIER AFTER THIS!

LOTSA LOVE Juicyxxxx

Believe

Duh-livia Ryan sat next to me in Chemistry after lunch.

She smelt of fruity hairspray and peppermint chap-stick, and was holding a yellow Kate Spade tote that matched my navy one exactly. The one I found in the attic.

"Look, you set a trend. I just love your vintage fashion sense. You always used to be fashion Queen. Why did you change that?" She squeals, her navy eyes glittering.

I roll my eyes, ignoring the compliment. "Just go away Olivia; I'm really not in the mood to talk right now. Sit with the rest of the cheerleaders."

She bursts in to peals of laughter, shocking me and causing me to almost set my sleeve on fire from the Bunsen burner. "Silly! They've gone to the State Championships."

"Oh yeah, and why didn't you go?" I murmur, turning the gas tap back on.

"Well," Olivia fluffs up her blond hair and dumps her bag on to the bench, perching on the stool next to me. Obviously she's staying. "I was thinking about what you were saying and you're right. I don't want people thinking I' m an airhead." She finishes with a dazzling smile.

Suddenly Olivia shrieks. "No you're doing it all wrong. Ugh, give me that." Olivia yanks the rubber orange wire and plugs it in to the yellow tap, closing the air hole. "There."

"Thanks" I mumble, but Olivia hears. She winks and opens her US Weekly as Mrs Arthur goes out the room. I chip off my nail polish as I wait for her to say something. I don't know how to act with Olivia. I thought she was just a dumb cheerleader, but it seems there is more to her than that. I mean, I didn't even know she actually listened to what I said.

My train of thoughts is interrupted by a "awww!" from Olivia. She thrusts a glossy, airbrushed picture of Angelina Jolie in to my hands. "Look at her ah-dorable twins!"

Ah-dorable? Ok...

"Her mom died a couple of years back you know. Or was it last year? Either way..."

I freeze and drop the magazine like its burning hot. How can she just say that when I'm standing right here? Olivia doesn't even seem to notice, and if she does, she doesn't seem to care. She carries on speaking.

" At first I felt really sorry for her. But you just have to think about the good things in life. Be optimistic. Obviously I wouldn't know, but what's the point of always being upset and down in the dumps? Especially when some people just resolve to alcohol and drugs." She scrunches up her perfect ski-slope nose in disgust and I carefully slide the green glass bottle deeper in to my bag.

Suddenly, the bell rings and we both jump. Olivia smiles at me.

"I know you're upset about your mom Massie. I'm not as dumb as everyone thinks I am, everyone else thinks you've just forgotten about her don't they?" she presses.

I nod slowly. Yeah they do, they do...

"But you're really hurting inside, aren't you? I'm sorry about what happened, but it makes e really upset to see you so, well so gloomy. If you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm always free. Especially since I quit cheerleading. Well, I'll see you around."

She walks out the room, her bag swinging, and I realise something.

I have been hurting about mom.

All that time, it wasn't just me, it was all the pain that had been caused.

Derrick

Dylan

Kristen

Josh

Kemp

Plovert

Cam

...My mom

I grab the bottle from my bag, my warm fingers enclosed around the cool glass. Without thinking, I stride over to the window and hurl the bottle out. I watch with satisfaction as it plops in to the water of the BOCD fountain. Girls sitting on the stone ledge around it squeal, jumping up and making sure no water splashed on to their precious True Religion jeans.

I grin. It feels like a huge boulder of weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

It feels like that bottle, instead of being filled with a poisonous drink, was filled with all my worries.

They weren't coming back any time soon.

Olivia was right. You can stop all the anxiety, all the sadness, all the fear, by just letting yourself...

Believe.

I had to believe.