"How to Annoy the Axis Powers: Japan, that weird guy who can't say the 'r' sound!" America snickered.
"You're one to talk you people don't even speak a zecond language," France said, "It iz most unrefined,"
"I have to agree with France on this one," England said.
"Dudes, we don't have to know another language because English is the best, and besides why bother? You guys all speak English anyways," America protested.
"Your education iz most disgusting." France said.
"You're just jelous cause you guys aren't as great as I am!" America said, "But back to my list! Notice: the author will not be held responsible for any ninja stars, sword wounds, poisoned food, nightmares, or bananas inflicted on the reader as a result of viewing this post. Oh, blah, blah, let's get started.
First of all hug him. That guy is so weird about physical contact,
2. Make intense eye contact while speaking to him. Insist it is a cultural thing.
3. Reference Ninja stereotypes constantly (especially inaccurate ones). Never correct yourself.
4. Use Naruto as your only reference for Japanese culture.
5. Poke him.
6. Slap him.
7. Cuddle him.
8. Flick him.
9. Give him looooooooong hugs. Reallllly slow, awkward long hugs.
10. Kiss him.
11. Have absolutely no sense of personal space
12. Like Italy.
13. Sing off key.
14. Eat all his food with your fingers.
15. Have bad table manners.
16. Have bad street manners.
17. Just have bad manners in general.
18. Replace his weapons with cheap replicas.
19. Replace his chopsticks with twigs from a tree. INSIST they are the same thing.
20. Don't bathe.
21. Don't brush your teeth.
22. Scratch yourself (anywhere) while around him. Try to shake his hand later.
23. Pick your teeth around him.
24. Touch his hair when he's not looking. Deny doing so.
25. Talk LOUDLY (like Germany).
26. Pick your nose.
27. Tickle him.
28. Walk around naked like it's nothing. Accuse him of being a prude when he's shocked.
29. Mispronounce all Japanese words. Never correct yourself.
30. Loudly yell "OMG ITS SO KAWAII!" to EVERYTHING. Even if it isn't cute.
31. Never be afraid of his video games or horror flicks. Because OMG IT'S SO KAWAII!
32. Act like you are an expert on Japanese culture OMG IT'S KAWAII! Talk about it all the time OMG IT'S SO KAWAII! Even when he corrects you! ZOMG! ANIME ITS SO KAWAII DESU !
33. Interrupt him when he's speaking to someone. KAWAII!
34. Ask him to be your husbando! And you'll be his Waifeo!"
America stacked his papers together with a grin, "That's all guys!"
"What do those word even mean?" England asked.
"Dude, like husband and wife only in Japanese!" America exclaimed.
"Those are not Japanese words," England said, sipping his tea.
"Well no, that's why it's annoying, bro!" America said.
"I'm concerned the Axis may decide to retaliate," Russia said, speaking for the first time.
"Russia, you've been awfully quiet," England remarked.
"Oh, that's just because I was listening." Russia replied with a smile.
"You're afraid the Axis will retaliate?" England said.
"Da. You other countries may be in big trouble." Russia replied pleasantly.
"Us other countries..." England said, "You mean, no one's going to annoy you?"
"Oh no, nobody does that anymore." Russia said.
"Why not?" asked France.
"I don't know." Russia said, "It's been a long time sense I was victim of practical joke. The last person who tried mysteriously disappeared, and no one was able to find him..."
An uncomfortable silence followed.
"Well, is been good meeting." Russia stood up, "Proshchay!" he smiled and waved goodbye.