The guys were dead. They were so dead, they just knew it. Their imaginations began to fill with the horrible fate that they would soon be facing.
Wait a minute, what the hell were the girls doing looking under the beds? Shouldn't they be getting shotguns, nooses, duct tape, Gilmore Girls DVDs and whatever else their twisted little minds could think of to torture the guys with?
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The girls were on their hands and knees, lifting up the bedspreads and checking under pillows. Rahne was sniffing around as Jubilee hesitantly threw the closet door open, hanger in hand. Kitty hadn't been able to get on her knees so instead she had phased herself up to the neck into the floor and was checking under various furniture. Jean and Amara were tossing blankets around and would wait for a few seconds to make sure nothing was coming out of them before moving on to another blanket. Rouge, after putting on her heaviest pair of combat boots, would jump repeatedly on a pillow before lifting it up to see if she had squashed anything. And so far she had only found a cracked cd, which she was thankful to see was one of Kitty's god awful pop things. When asked about it later, Rouge would claim that cracking it was a mistake.
"A RAT! It's a big, hairy frickin' rat!" Kitty squealed.
Kitty jumped out of the floor and away from the bed she had been checking under. Rahne transformed into her full wolf form, teeth barred as Jean shook the bed and Jubilee threw fireworks at it, all ready to kill the pest.
Jamie's ferret suddenly emerged, squeaking and chirping as it headed to the door, though not in too much of a hurry to prevent him from snatching a chip from the turned over bowl. Apparently it didn't think six mutant girls as too great of a threat.
"That underwear thief!" Jubilee yelled as it dodged her attack.
"Let's get it!" Amara yelled as the girls chased after the rodent.
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"oh thank god, it was only that stupid ferret," Sam sighed, happy to know that he'd keep on living.
"That ferret is a menace, let's go help the girls catch it!" Roberto said as he headed for the door, though Bobby stepped in front of him.
"No way man, the ferret's leading the girls down this hallway," Bobby said as he nodded to the monitor that indeed showed the ferret taking a hard left, coming towards the surveillance room. "If the girls see us coming from here, they'll know something is up."
"Yea, it's safer if we just lay low and stay in here," Ray added, lounging in his chair.
Scott jumped up and shook his head.
"No, it's not safer! Once Jean passes this room, she'll immediately sense we're in here, seven guys packed in one room is probably like a megaphone to her mind!" He yelled, looking worriedly to the screen. The girls were closing in on the room and there was no way the guys could get out without them seeing.
"Then let's split!" Bobby yelled as he rushed to the window. Ray came to his side and shorted out the alarm system as Remy easily opened it.
The three of them jumped the two story height and landed roughly on the grass.
"Grab on!" Kurt said to Roberto, Sam and Scott. A moment later and they were on the grass standing beside the still moaning Remy, Ray and Bobby, all of whom had grass stains and bruises.
"Oh yeah, thanks guys. You got to port to save your asses and we had to land on ours!" Remy said as he stood up.
"What should we do now?" Roberto asked as he helped Bobby to his feet.
"I don't know, but I doubt I can go back in there and face the girls like everything's fine. Besides, sounds kinda dangerous right now," Ray shook his head slowly, watching the mansion as a small explosion was heard, followed by a wolves whine.
"Oh gosh Rahne! I'm so sorry! I thought it was him, but it was just your tail!" Jubilee's frantic apology could be heard from the opened windows of the living room.
Kurt looked pained for a second as his tail snaked around his wrist.
"I know what you mean. We heard a lot of stuff, and the moment they see me and my guilty mug, they'll know what's up," Sam agreed, reminding them all of his notorious inability to lie.
"Why don't we relax and have a drink?" Remy suggested with a shrug. He was only half kidding but then he noticed the eager looks on the young men's faces. They all turned to Scott, expecting him to condemn the idea.
Instead he sighed and rubbed his neck. "Ah hell, you're all 16 right?" He asked Ray, Roberto, Bobby and Sam, who all nodded their heads vigorously.
"We've had one crazy night and I think a drink might do us some good. Might keep us sane really," He said as he threw all caution to the wind.
"I'll go get the stuff," Remy said, his nineteen year old body eager at the prospect of alcohol. He pulled his motorcycle keys from his pocket and headed for the garage.
"Alright, everyone hand over your keys," Scott said, always the one to plan. The guys willingly gave up their keys which contained copies of keys for the blackbird, van, jeep, medical cabinet and such things that a drunk guy might find fun to play with. "And cell phones, we don't want any drunk dialing."
The guy's nodded and pulled out their beloved phones and followed Scott to the garage in time to see Remy zipping by.
Scott popped open his car's trunk and piled the phones and keys into it before shutting it and locking it again. He scanned for a place to put his keys where he wouldn't lose them or be able to get them while he or the others were drunk.
"Want me to freeze them in a block of ice, I guarantee it won't melt until morning," Bobby suggested.
"Good idea Bobby, ice it up," Scott said, tossing the keys in the air. Bobby froze them and the block fell to the floor, thick and secure.
"Alright, we have no keys, no phones. And no powers, absolutely not," Scott warned the guys.
"The Professor, Storm, and Hank won't be back until tomorrow night, and it'll even take Logan a good two days to bring down the Hulk," Kurt said, running through his mind all the precautions they'd have to take. He hadn't drank in awhile now, and after everything he heard tonight he knew he needed it, especially to restrain from murdering Lance. He was also fairly certain that none of the guys could process the shocking stuff they'd encountered without a little help from Jack Daniel.
"And stay away from the bay and the cliffs!" Scott shouted suddenly, making all the smirking boys jump a little.
"Scott, chill. Why don't we just go to the emergency underground housing we used after the explosion?" Ray suggested.
Scott snapped his fingers. "That's a great idea, Ray. Why can't you think this well in the danger room?" Scott demanded folding his arms.
"Cause in the danger room I'm not thinking about how best to get drunk," Ray pointed out.
"Yea, only about how best not to get your ass fried off," Sam laughed. The guy's spent the next 15 minutes checking the security on the house, they felt bad that after listening in on the girls they'd be leaving them with no manly protection. They unlocked the underground housing and began making the living room more comfortable.
The rubbling hum of Remy's motorcycle could be heard, and the guys greeted him eagerly. Remy hopped off his motorcycle, gripping the box he had balanced on his lap.
With one last wicked grin at one another, the boys headed for the hidden door to their drinking fortress.
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An hour and two bottles of vodka later and the boys were feeling mighty good, and of course talking about girls. The buzzed feeling of their drinks was starting to set in.
"Aw come on Summers! Spill! How long was it until you and Jean had sex?" Bobby demanded, blinking rapidly until only one Scott came into his vision.
"I bet it was like five minutes after he asked her to be his girlfriend," Ray laughed, tossing back another drink.
"Now that's not fair! We liked each other for awhile, honestly it was like we were already a couple," Scott replied with indignation, though a small smile was creeping onto his face.
"Well, if that's the case then Kurt and Kitty would be justified in jumping in bed together," Roberto pointed out as Kurt quickly filled his cup again.
"No, instead he's sleeping with Amanda and imagining Kitty," Sam said, staggering to get a paper towel to clean up his spilled drink.
Kurt shook his head. "Nein, I didn't sleep with Amanda much. We did once, but I totally screwed it up," Kurt had a small amused smile on his face.
"What'd ya do? Didn't last long enough?" Bobby asked, laughing at his own poor joke. It was honestly the best he could think of in his inebriated state.
"Oh that's rich, especially coming from a guy who probably still has wet dreams," Kurt bit back. "Anyway, that's not what happened. I just called her a name."
"Oh mon ami, are you one of those guys who calls the girl they're doing a bitch and slut and whore? Ya know, some girls like that, others not so much.." Remy said. He, Ray and Kurt had drank more then anyone else, though it was obvious that their bodies were more accustomed.
Kurt shook his head once more. "It was nothing like that. I called her Katzchen as I, uh, finished," Kurt said uncomfortably. Normally he was a total gentleman when it came to his relationships with girls, but Kurt found his morals leaving him as the drinks began more frequent.
"Katzchen? That's what you call Kitty... oh Kurt, big mistake," Roberto shook his head slowly as Remy leaned over and filled his glass.
"Oh, talking about Amanda, we broke up today," Kurt said nonchalantly, just remembering the days earlier events.
The guys looked blankly at him.
"Why didn't you tell us earlier?" Scott asked, pushing his cup away.
"With all the excitement today, I honestly forgot. That's really awful of me," Kurt sighed. "We tried to make it work. And at first it was a nice idea. A human girl falling for a mutant, especially a mutant like me. The professor's dream realized. But that's all we were, a dream."
Sam looked at all the other guys. They obviously hadn't been confused when Kurt said he broke up with Amanda. Sam tried to fit the pieces together slowly so as not to get a headache.
"Wait a minute. I thought you were thrilled to be dating Amanda?" Sam asked, looking thoroughly confounded.
" I was thrilled at the idea of someone simply wanting me. But the ghost of her will always be with me, and in between me and every other girl I try and be with, not that I ever want to be with any other girl. I always tried to think only of Amanda, but she always came in second, and a girl knows when you look at her and want to see someone else," Kurt said, as all the other guys, including Remy, nodded sadly. Sam was getting pissed, what the hell was his drunk mind missing?!
"What is going on?" He finally demanded, trying to get his head to stop spinning.
"Dude, c'mon. You know Kitty and Kurt have a thing," Ray said.
"And Kurt will always want to be scratched by the cat and none other," Bobby added, taking another drink.
"Course I knew that, but will you people stop using words like ghost, and weird nicknames, and mon ami, whatever the hell that is. I'm drunk, and I'm simple, so only small uncomplicated words will do right now," Sam said, calming down only after Roberto poured him more to drink.
"So Kurt, does that mean you lost your virginity to Amanda and it sucked?" Remy asked with a small chuckle.
Kurt shook his head, trying to find the best way to phrase this. "Nein, I've had sex before. I was the star of a circus, and that peaked some girls interest." The guys nodded. "But I have to be careful when I have sex, it's a little complicated for me. You know how my mutation gives me animal characteristics?" Kurt usually was never this open about things like this, but the drinks were loosening him up.
The guys nodded once more. Sure they knew. The guy had fur, fangs, a tail, heightened senses, inhuman like flexibility and often growled or purred. Pretty feral stuff for such a gentleman.
"Well, some animals pick mates for life. I happen to be one of them," Kurt said simply, taking another shot.
The guys exchanged curious glances.
"Really? How do you know that?" Scott asked, his brow furrowing.
"The professor told me when I first came here. I asked him if he could reverse the physical mutations and he reluctantly ran some tests and found that out," Kurt laughed slightly. "It was pretty awkward when he told me."
The guys nodded in sympathy, shuddering at the thought of the professor even mentioning sex to any of them.
"So what exactly does that mean? A mate for life?" Roberto asked curiously.
Kurt smiled slightly at his friends. Even though he had to attempt to explain something that was beyond weird to a group of drunk guys, they didn't mock him or jeer but listened. Nothing like friends to make you feel good about being blue and furry.
"If I bite the girl and leave my, uh mark, then we're mates for life. When I have sex I have the urge to leave my mark but so far I've resisted. Only that one person that I bite will truly ever satisfy me. It's not like I couldn't cheat, but there wouldn't be any point in cheating," Kurt explained as best he could, realizing once again just how difficult being an elf was. Kurt recalled nights when he would be in his tent at the circus and local girls would sneak in, wanting to know if the rumors were true, if he really was a demon. Some would run away in fear, others would seduce him, wanting to experience something wild and exotic. Truthfully, he'd associated sex with another form of decimation, all the girls he'd been with were simply because they were kinky, wanting to do the 'demon'. He took a shameful pride in the memories of intertwined limbs and moaning girls who both disgusted and enthralled Kurt. He'd had lost his virginity when he was 14 and for the next two years before Xavier found him, Kurt had had his fair share of sweaty and meaningless sex and luckily hadn't slipped up and marked one as his mate.
"Wow, sounds like a pretty powerful connection," Ray said. He reflected for a moment on his sexual history, which consisted of ten or so faceless girls. It really would be nice to have one person who knows your own needs as keenly as their own.
Kurt nodded. "And it's not just me who gets affected. Whoever I bite will see me as their mate too. But mating with someone doesn't guarantee loving them. I could bite some random girl, but then fall in love with another and then not be able to make love to her," Kurt sighed, drinking a little more.
"Damn Kurt. It's complicated being you. But at least you didn't bite Amanda, that'd be the ultimate friends with benefits," Bobby laughed slightly.
"Yea, and I'm actually not the only mutant who goes through this. Wolves mate for life too, so Rahne has to be careful," Kurt pointed out.
Roberto nodded his head slowly. "So that's why she wants to wait until marriage. To make sure she has a mate out of love."
"Phew, glad I don't have to worry about that," Remy said, shaking his head.
"No, you only have to worry about wanting a girl who can drain you dry," Scott said a little roughly. The guys all turned slowly to Remy. So far they definitely liked him. He was funny and had a lot of personality, but he was still new and was pursuing Rouge. She may be the cutthroat and slightly cold one of the group of girls, but the guys loved her for all that she was.
"I know you all probably think that I won't treat Rouge right and I only want her for one thing, and if it was honestly any other girl, then you'd be right. But I can't get that from Rouge, and I'm okay with that," Remy said slowly to the guys . Their expressions softened, except Scott's which remained stoic and unmoved.
"Just be careful. The girl's already had enough heartache in her life, I mean Kurt's her brother after all," Bobby said as Kurt hit him over the head.
Remy nodded. "I understand your concern. But it's not healthy for her to close herself off like she does."
They nodded before taking a few more hits.
"So," Ray began as he set down his glass. "Who's all virgin here?"
Sam and Bobby both nodded their heads slightly as acknowledgment and Kurt clapped both of them on the backs. Turning towards Roberto, they obviously expected an explanation.
He shrugged his shoulders and smiled a little. "Where I grew up, sex isn't that big of a deal. Cheating is, but casual sex between two consenting people is an accepted, and encouraged, thing."
"Mon ami, I like the way your people think," Remy said as the two clinked their glasses together.
"And you Ray?" Sam asked.
"A few girls here and there. After my parent's split up and my berserker side came out, I kinda lost all self respect," Ray replied, taking another glass.
"Started smoking pot and dumb stuff like that," He continued. "Then the Professor found me, and everything fell into place."
The guys nodded in agreement, all of them had felt lost, except for of course Remy, who had preferred his reckless and wayfarer lifestyle for a time.
"You know, "I've always wondered, does being a mutant automatically make you attractive?" Sam asked, his speech rapidly deteriorating.
"No, have you've seen the brotherhood? Or Sabertooth?" Scott laughed.
"Nah man, I meant mutant chicks," Sam replied, shaking his head slowly.
The guys nodded in agreement. "The X-Girls sure seem to prove that theory," Bobby said.
"When I first got here, all the girls were out swimming and I seriously thought that they had sent me to Playboy Mansion instead of the Mutant Mansion," Roberto laughed.
"And you didn't even see them in their Sirens outfits, now that was impressive," Scott said happily.
"Wasn't Tabitha part of the Sirens?" Bobby asked.
Kurt and Scott nodded. "Yea she was, leather's a good look for that wild child," Kurt added, secretly thinking that it was still a better look on Kitty.
"She's not a bad looking girl either. A little insane, but that works for some girls," Sam said.
"Not my type though," Roberto said. "I'm not big on girls who are taller then me."
"If I were short, I'd feel the same way," Remy nodded, earning a scowl from Bobby and Roberto.
"I think Tabitha is for a guy who likes thighs," Scott added, his usual gentlemanly manner long abandoned after he downed his sixth drink.
"And you seem to like thighs yourself Scott, Jean's got some curves too," Ray pointed out as the guys nodded.
"Same with Rouge," Bobby smiled slightly.
"Ugh, if you're going to talk about my sister then pass me another drink," Kurt said, holding out his cup which Remy happily filled.
"Yea but Rouge has a bigger chest then Jean," Remy chuckled.
"True, she has wider hips to. Those two girls sure have curves," Roberto smiled.
"Yea, which is great if you like that kinda thing," Bobby said. "But I prefer girls a little thinner."
Kurt nodded in agreement. "Amanda was curvy and thick, which I liked for a while but I prefer a girl who's smaller then me."
"Rhane's thin but still has curves," Roberto added. "That's my idea of a perfect body."
"Nah, mine would still be Jean's. I'm tall, so is she, and I guess we look good together...Yea, we look good together...Do we look good together?" Scott asked, worried for a second.
The guys rolled their eyes and nodded. "Yes Scott, you and Jean look good together, relax man." Ray said, he continued on to explain his ideal body for a woman.
"For me, any body will really do. It's the confidence and the knowledge of what to do with that body that is the key part for me. That's sexy beyond hell."
"Oh yea, as long as the girl isn't one of those overconfident brats. I can't stand girls like that," Remy said.
"I like thin bodies myself, lean ones," Bobby began.
"You mean like Jubilee's?" Roberto teased as Bobby blushed slightly.
"Amara's thin too, but she has some serious muscle," Sam added.
"Yea, I had a wrestling match with her once. She may be small but damn can she punch," Scott laughed. "Kitty's small too."
"Yea she is, but thinness is a good look for her," Remy said.
"I like that Katzchen's tiny," Kurt said, his accent thickening as the alcohol worked its way into his mind. His mind filled with an image of Kitty, her small shoulders and her big for her body chest. He knew her stomach was toned and the curve of her hips was soft.
The other guys nodded.
"And short," bobby pointed out, smiling.
"She and Jubilee are incredibly flexible. Jubilee has her gymnastics and Kitty has her dancing, and that crazy funky yoga stuff," Ray continued on, smirking a bit.
Of course all the guys found all the girls in the mansion attractive, and even though a lot of the relationships between the girls and the guys weren't romantic it was still impossible to deny attraction.
"You know, even though we may talk like this, I still respect the girls," Scott said, trying to cling to the remaining respect he had for himself and also being honest.
The guys nodded. The girls they loved were soft and gentle and loving, until they had something to fight for. Then they were tough, unforgiving and relentless.
"There's something about fighting alongside the girls that really makes you love them," Sam said slowly. His thoughts were on Amara, when she was blazing and cracking the ground to let the magma flow. She was so strong and willing to fight.
The other guys agreed with Sam's statement about fighting with the girls.
"I've dated human girls, and none of them even compare to any of our girls here. I'd be on a date with Taryn and then see Rouge or Amara and I wouldn't even be able to look at Taryn anymore. I'm sure it's possible for a mutant and human to fall in love, but we fight next to these girls. Something happens when it's life or death and you have to protect them," Scott said firmly.
The boys all nodded and Remy filled their glasses one by one.
Raising his own glass, he smiled happily.
"To de Femmes," He said. All the other guys smiled and followed suit.
"To the chicks," Bobby laughed.
"To the Senhoras," Roberto smiled
"To the heartbreakers," Sam threw in.
"To the Damen," Kurt smiled, his fangs gleaming as Ray laughed at their ridiculousness but decided to join in.
"To the fair maidens!" He yelled and stifled a laugh as Scott chuckled.
"To our X-Girls," Scott finished as the guys all threw back their drinks.