This is issue two of OW (Olympus weekly) Just so you know, there will probably be chapters that aren't newspapers, but what actually happens in the newspaper. Remember to laugh! And review!
Issue II:
A Haiku, by Apollo
I am Apollo,
And I am really awesome,
Refrigerator
Comments (3):
(Artemis has left the newspaper)
(Zeus has left the newspaper)
Poseidon: Ahh! My ears!
(Poseidon has left the newspaper wearing earplugs)
(Hades has left the newspaper)
(Demeter has left the newspaper)
(Hermes has left the newspaper)
(Hera has left the newspaper)
Apollo: Hey do you guys want to hear another one?
(Everybody else has left the newspaper)
Apollo: Well, I guess I'll follow them.
Song of the week: By Apollo
(Insert pop tart cat pixelation)
Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan
Comments (10)
Artemis: Oh no, not this song.
Hera: Why not?
Hermes: Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan
Athena: Wow, that's annoying.
Zeus: Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan
Hera: Oh. I see.
Hades: Hey, I think I can use this music in the Fields of Punishment! Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan
Demeter: Oh, no! You've killed my cereal!
Poseidon: Catchy and useful. That's what I'm talking about! Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan
Apollo: I have successfully inserted the Nyan Cat sickness in the Olympians. My job here is done.
Now, an exclusive interview with... Dionysus! By Hermes.
Hermes: Okay, nice to have you with us, Dionysus.
Dionysus: Whatever.
H: So, tell me, how did you rise to the level that you're at right now?
D: I partied, drank wine, and partied more.
H: Wow, that sounds like fun!
D: Sure.
H: Okay, what do you do to re- Hey! Come back here! And put the cookie down! That's mine!
D: Sigh, I don't suppose I could get away with teleporting right now, could I?
H: No, not until the interview is over!
H: So, as I was saying, what do you do to relax at Camp Half Blood?
D: I turn demigods into dolphins.
H: Okay, moving past that, why do you call all of the demigods by incorrect names?
D: I do not! For example, Pedro Joe, and Leo Di Caprio.
H: Umm... I'm pretty sure that last one is a movie star.
D: ZZZ
H: Oh well, I figured this is how this interview would end.
Yo mama smackdown
Yes! It's true! Poseidon and Zeus have agreed to a Yo Mama smackdown!
By Ares
Comments (13)
Ares: Okay, here are the rules for this. There are none! Three.. Two... One... Goat!
Zeus: Yo mama so ug-
Ares: Uh oh, looks like we have a false start in the blue corner. I didn't say go, I said goat! Wait until I say go! Three... Two... One... Go!
Poseidon: Yo mama so stupid, she couldn't throw a rock at the ground without gravity!
Zeus: Yo mama so fat, some part of her is always at home.
Poseidon: Yo mama so ugly, even a dementor wouldn't kiss her!
Apollo: Ooh, epic burn!
Athena: You know you have the same mother, right?
Zeus: Yo mama so stupid, she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side!
Rhea: Hey boys, I thought I heard you talking about me.
Zeus: Um... Yes! We were! We were complementing you on your brain and your beauty!
Rhea: Good. Well, I'll be leaving now!
Poseidon: Phew, that was close.
Quote of the week. By Athena:
With great power... Comes a great need to nap.
-Nico Di Angelo
Comments:
Hypnos: So true.. So true.
Hermes: I shall now honor his statement. ZZZ
Zeus: Me too! ZZZ
Poseidon: Me three! ZZZ
Apollo: I'll do it before my little sister takes a nap!
Artemis: For the last time, I'm not your little sister! I was born first!
Apollo: No, you were not.
Artemis: Yes, I was.
Athena: Here we go again.
Apollo: No, you were not.
Artemis: Yes, I was.
Apollo: No, you were not.
Artemis: Yes, I was.
Apollo: No, you were not.
Artemis: Yes, I was.
Apollo: No, you were not.
Artemis: Yes, I was.
Apollo: No, yo-
Hera: Can we please stop arguing and be a happy family?
Apollo: I LOVE YOU, YOU LOVE ME, WE'RE A HAPPY FAMILY!
Artemis: Can we just move on to the next article?
New cereal. By Demeter.
And now presenting... (Drum roll) Hades Charms! Just like normal Lucky Charms, but instead of marshmallows, tiny silhouettes of Hades! Now, you can annihilate, smush, chew up, and eat everyone's least favorite god! Available in grocery stores all around Olympus.
Comments (8):
Hades: I hate you.
Zeus: Wow! Great idea, sign me up for a box! No, make that two boxes!
Poseidon: I'll take one too, there's nothing like eating cereal versions of your second least favorite brother!
Apollo: I'll take one too.
Artemis: Me three.
Aphrodite: Me five!
(Everyone stares at her)
Aphrodite: What?
Demeter: Wow, six orders of Hades Charms, this is really taking off!
Okay, that was issue two of Olympus Weekly! Review and tell me if you laughed!