Thank you to my husband(Despite his hatred for Kaidan)for catching the few spelling and capitalization mistakes in the last two chapters, they have since been fixed. Maybe this chapter we'll get to some fluff, though there will still be some angst. I mean everyone's favourite hero is hanging on for dear life here. Also, Shepard's first name is Seanne, pronounced SHAHN. It's a feminine form of Sean.

Chapter 3

Kaidan was fueled with determination, anxiety, hope and though he didn't want to admit it, fear as he stepped off the Normandy. Garrus and Tali were close on his heels, yet still giving the space they knew he needed. The dark circles under his eyes, and lines across his usually smooth face betraying his forced demeanor. In all reality, he'd come back to Earth with only one mission, and though everyone aboard the Normandy knew it, they kept to themselves. "Joker, turn those engines off, and keep quiet. Don't open that airlock for anyone. Not even me without extensive questioning about something only I can answer. We don't know what's going on down here. Kaidan out." They'd already dealt with a clone of Seanne attempting to steal the Normandy once, and that was a mere few weeks ago. Kaidan shuddered, remembering just how cold and almost evil her doppelganger had been, and how Seanne had still tried to save her. The entire experience was extremely unsettling to say the least. He shook his head, clearing his thoughts as Joker confirmed over the barely audible communication link as they readied their weapons and scanned the horizon.

Garrus scanned the street in front of them though his scope, motioning for them to move toward a pile of wrecked, dented cars. The battle with the reapers sure took its toll on the city, everything barely recognizable and shattered. Quickly moving to their designated cover, Kaidan motioned for them to halt upon hearing the clearly audibly screeching of cannibals, followed by gunfire. Whoever was in combat was clearly outnumbered, and didn't have much time, causing Kaidan, Tali and Garrus to spring into action. All emotion put aside as combat instincts took over, they quickly made their way through the dark streets of the city using fallen debris as cover. Finding cover was easy, getting to it was the hard part. Everywhere the small squad went, they had to dodge destroyed concrete, potholes, or some other sort of obstacle. Reaching their destination, Kaidan quickly ordered Tali into the nearby building as Garrus took up the rear a few feet behind, both keeping their weapons at the ready. As Kaidan threw up his barrier, he heard a familiar voice. He wasted no time in skirting around the car just in time to biotically throw a lone marauder away from James Vega, effectively killing him and giving James time to kill the final enemy which he did with ease.

Still reeling from the group of mutated enemies, adrenaline receding into white hot anger, Kaidan approached James looking for answers as Vega recognized him. "Lieutenant Vega, what are you doing here alone. Where is Hackett?" Kaidan demanded, his usually warm brown eyes still blue from the use of his biotics. The one and only question he cared to ask was temporarily left unsaid in an attempt to remain professional and composed. Kaidan didn't drop his barrier, not knowing what to expect in the war-torn streets of his home. He'd spent all of his life that he could remember in Vancouver, and to see it barely recognizable and destroyed tore at him. "Major Alenko? Sir?" Vega looked at him, expecting a reply, but in all reality Kaidan hadn't been listening. "Sorry Vega, what was it?"

"Sir, the Admiral is currently overseeing debris cleanup and tech recovery on the northern side of town where they found what was left of Harbinger. I was out here trying to discover the sound coming from the docks that I can only guess is the Normandy. I've been at the hospital with Shepard and-" James was immediately cut off as Kaidan sprinted toward the hospital, ignoring the squadmates behind him. Deep down Kaidan knew he wasn't thinking rationally, and he'd let his emotions get the better of reason and professionalism, but he didn't care. He'd already decided he had no reason to still be alive if Seanne wasn't. He wouldn't go through that pain again. He wouldn't survive that a second time. When Kaidan reached the all too familiar sight of the hospital he'd been through many times, he stopped, suddenly afraid and unable to fully breathe. His feet refused to move, despite willing himself to walk in and find the answers his heart demanded. He didn't know how long he stood in front of those old metal doors before the others caught up to him.

No one said anything for what seemed like a lifetime, each lost in their own fears and expectations of what would be through the suddenly ominous double doors in front of them. Finally, after letting his crew mates have a moment James cleared his throat, "Major? Do you want me to take you into her room?" Kaidan merely nodded, unable to speak or stop the tears welling in his eyes. He didn't even notice when the guards offered him a solemn salute. Despite attempting to keep it quiet in the past, nearly all of the alliance knew of Commander Shepard's relationship with Major Alenko, especially in recent months. Kaidan hadn't noticed he'd been holding his breath the few feet to the room James was now in front of. He didn't feel in control of his body, not even remembering following the Lieutenant, as he pushed open the doors and walked forward to the small figure with so many tubes and wires attached. His breath hitched and a sob escaped his lips, betraying the extent of his emotions as he looked at her. She was alive, and for that he should be eternally grateful to any deity that existed, but looking at her like this broke his heart.

Tali followed slowly behind James and Kaidan, grabbing Garrus's talon and pulling him forward into the room. "Keelah..." she gasped as she saw her friend, comrade and captain unconscious in a small dented up hospital bed. Shepard looked so frail and vulnerable at first Tali wasn't even sure it was her. She looked up to see Garrus shaking, trying to keep composure for the sake of his friends as he watched one of his closest friends fall apart in front of him. Kaidan took note he was no longer the only one other than the sleeping Miranda in the room, but cared little for hiding his emotions any longer. He knelt down next to Shepard's bed, the tears falling freely now, as he kissed her battered and bruised hand still covered in dried blood. It had been a while since he'd last slept, but mustering up some strength he llightly caressed her cheek with his hand, brushing his fingertips over her dry, cracked lips. "Seanne...Seanne please fight. I'm here now. Everyone is here. We made it back to find you. Please get better, we need you. I need you. I love you." he whimpered, barely heard by those behind him as Garrus moved forward and squeezed his shoulder lightly. Garrus noticed what a toll this had taken on Kaidan when he looked up at him. The stubborn, headstrong career soldier Garrus once knew now replaced with a completely broken man watching his soul mate dying in front of him with no way to help her.

Kaidan sat there hours after Garrus and Tali left to find a place to rest in an adjacent room, not wanting to go back to the Normandy with Shepard's condition questionable. He felt his fatigue of the past couple of weeks catch up to him as his eyelids grew heavy, and laid his head down next to Shepard's hand, falling into a deep sleep almost immediately. No nightmares plagued him that night, just dreams of a future he desperately want to make reality. With each passing day, various members of the Normandy stopped by to see Shepard's progress, which was painstakingly slow. Some days there was no change, while some her vitals were almost normal, and then there were the days she almost seemed peacefully asleep instead of barely alive. Miranda insisted on keeping her in a medically induced coma so as to make sure everything was healing properly. Kaidan lost count of how many different pieces of tech she would haul through the door daily, dissecting each one carefully in hopes of finding the answer for Shepard's still dormant cybernetics; Each day Kaidan would step away long enough to give Admiral Hackett news of Shepard's condition, though most days the answer was the same as the last. He enjoyed the few minutes of sunshine and air, and even noticed a bit of grass starting to turn green in the hospital courtyard. When Shepard was better he'd have to go thank Admiral Hackett for giving him so much time off to be here when there was still so much work to do.

This process kept up for another two weeks, every day the same as before, until one dreary, cold afternoon Miranda burst through the doors with a legitimate smile on her tired face. "Alenko, I think I might have something we can try. I found this near the corpse, if you want to call it that, of Harbinger. Well, I noticed that despite all of his systems being completely destroyed, the basic internal structures of his processing power weren't." Miranda was almost bouncing in excitement while Kaidan looked up at her skeptically, trying to contain the inner turmoil within himself. 'It's still basically reaper tech, which means it either won't work or she won't be Seanne. I don't know which one is worse' he thought to himself. Miranda, as if reading his thoughts, gave him an incredulous look as she began her daily routine of moving Shepard's extremities around carefully, bending her joints and giving her body movement. "Alenko, think for once in your bloody life. It's not reaper tech, not really. Look at this," she said as she scanned the piece of tech into her omni tool to analyze it, "It's no different than a simplistic mech, well at least this particular piece. That's means no actual reaper code. Which means..." Miranda let her voice trail off, letting her words sink in as Kaidan suddenly perked up. "Which means it wasn't affected by the crucible, and can possibly be rewired to give Shepard's systems the boost it needs!" Kaidan almost yelled, barely able to keep his composure. He knew it best to not get his hopes up, but anything he had to cling to, he would right now. He also knew it would take some time for Miranda to find out exactly how to execute her plan, and neither one of them knew how long that was.

For now, Kaidan was just grateful to have something to cling to, letting a small smile creep up on his face for the first time since his last shore leave with Shepard at her apartment. His thumb absentmindedly rubbing the back of her hand softly as he let his mind wander back to the party they'd had for everyone, and the night of bliss that followed. "Hey Alenko" Joker drawled as he walked in, feeling a bit guilty that this was the first time he'd come to see Shepard. Everyone knew Joker almost never left the Normandy, especially now that EDI was nonfunctional in the cargo bay. Adams and Cortez had been kind enough to make a special bed-like structure and position her as if she was sleeping. No one but Joker ever went down there anymore, and as far as the crew members of the Normandy were concerned, no one should right now. Traynor had spent all her free time looking for a way to restore EDI, but had yet to yield any helpful results. As Joker looked down at Shepard a small tear rolled down his cheek. The usually snarky red headed pilot had nothing to say and just laid his hand carefully on Shepard's arm. A crash behind them caused both men to jump, Kaidan on alert, but immediately realized it was Miranda. She was ready to give her science project a shot. If it worked, Shepard might very well recover, if not, there wasn't much more that could be done. Kaidan's entire body was filled with dread as he nodded his approval, and Miranda set to work.