A/N: Here's the next chapter! It's a little longer than the rest so I hope you enjoy. Thanks to everyone who has continued to send their thoughts. I've loved reading every single review that I have received so far. If I haven't yet replied back, then I shall so shortly. I am most thankful to those of you that are spending a few more minutes of your time to tell me what you think.
Thanks and enjoy.


Chapter twelve

"When did you do this one?" Grissom bent down and picked up the drawing that was lay at his feet.

"Oh. A while ago. I think it was one of the first ones I did when I got here." Sara had managed to get her tears under control and was now sat with her feet tucked under her perfectly curved backside.
Grissom took the seat next to his girlfriend and placed the picture on his lap. Sara looked down at his lap.

'God Sara. Why did you draw that? You should have known he was going to get upset my it when he saw it.'

"Gil I-I'm sorry. I never meant for you to see that one."

"Why Sara? Why even think about it?! I thought it was in the past?"

His own piercing blue eyes starred up at him, the cold child lay in his arms. Sara was sat on her knees next to him with one hand on his lap and the other holding the lip child's hand. That was the worst day of their lives. They lost their daughter three days after she was born. Sara didn't even get to hold her.

"I lost her and I nearly lost you, Sara." A single tear rolled down his cheek.

"I know Griss. It was all I could think about until I drew it. I knew you'd never approve of me drawing it, so I didn't do it until I got here. I needed to know you were safe and that I was able to be weak and break down without you seeing it." Sara sunk to the floor, crossing her legs and resting her head on the edge of the couch.

Grissom let the sketch float to the floor as he threw it out in front of him. "Sara. I've never thought you were weak. God, you're the strongest person I know." Grissom lent forward and brought Sara up into his lap, holding her tight.

Sara clung to his shirt. The tears she thought she had left behind started to fall again. She let the empty wine glass fall to the floor. She pulled herself tighter to Grissom as she heard it smash.

"I don't want to go on like this any more Gil. I ca-called you here because – because I-" Sara couldn't carry on the sentence. She knew she didn't need to, Grissom read her like a book, he always had done.

"Shh. It's going to be okay hunni. I'm here now. We'll get through this together. I'll-"

"You don't even know why I called you in the first place!" Sara was getting angry again. She wanted to so much to calm down, but she couldn't control herself as well after having a glass or two like she used to.

Grissom winced as his lover raised her voice once more. He knew it was the alcohol starting to take over, he also knew he would, in time, find out what had caused her to call him that day.

"Did you call me for the same reason I was going to call you? I needed to know you were okay. I knew you were still talking to Catherine and that she would have told you everything that was going on with me. I didn't want you to break down and me never see you again. As soon as I got off that first shift I was going to call you, but you beat me to it. If you hadn't of called when you did Sara. I would have called you. I would have kept calling and if you didn't pick up I was going to come round here and show you how much I love you, not matter what the doctor had said about my heart. If I had come here with you in the first place I wouldn't even be in this mess."

"I'm with you all the way Gil. And, you don't need to show me how much you love me. If anything I have to prove myself to you. And yes is the answer to your question." Sara's tears had stopped flowing once more and a smile pulled at her mouth.

"You don't need to prove yourself to be me or anyone, Sara. You're perfect. You are all I could wish for and more. It would be nice to have a child, but I'm more than happy with it being just the two of us."

Grissom crashed his lips against Sara's.

Sara parted her lips, allowing Grissom to enter. She drank up every last bit of desire she had for him and him for her. When the pair came up for air, Sara slid of Grissom's lap and started to clean up the broken glass.

"Sara, stop. Please." Grissom sat on the edge of the couch and tried to stop Sara before she hurt herself. Her hands were shaking again. She kept dropping pieces and then scrabbling to pick it back up.

When Sara refused to stop, Grissom stood and scooped her into his arms and carried her to the bedroom. As she slipped into a fresh pair of pajamas, Grissom stripped down and slipped between the sheets.

Sara quickly joined him, but instead of snuggling up to him like she used to, she lay on her side of the bed with her back to him as she attempted to cry herself to sleep for yet another night.

Grissom lay on his side and looked over at Sara's back. "Cherry blossom?"

Sara lay still trying to ignore the gorgeous bloke that lay next to her.

"Hey, hunni. You going to tell me what's wrong."

Sara still didn't answer, instead she moved her hands to her stomach and tried so very hard to remember that wonderful feeling of life moving inside her.

"I'm hear for you Sara. Please tell me what's wrong." Grissom spooned himself up to Sara and kissed her lightly on the head.

Sara turned over and snuggled up to Grissom. Grissom wrapped his arms around her letting her know he wasn't going anywhere.

"Gil. I miss having a child. I know I was only a mother for three days, but that doesn't matter to me. I miss having someone who is a part of both of us. A constant reminder of the love we have for each other." Sara's silent tears started to become sobs.

Grissom stroked her hair as she spoke. "Sara, why didn't you tell me this before? You knew I would have tried for another child. I still will if that's what you want."

"But, you're not strong enough now. I don't want to risk making love to you and then losing you. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me Gil. You and the baby. I wish I had told Natalie that I was having a baby that night, then maybe she would have let me go and we wouldn't be where we are now."

Sara started to shake, she hadn't thought about that day since she arrived in Frisco. She didn't want to. That maniac was the reason she wasn't in Vegas with a child and husband.

"Sar, that's not just what's been bugging you, is it?"

"No." Sara looked up into those piercing blue eyes and wished she could take him there and then.

"My – My uhm mother killed herself the day be her trial She heard I was here and asked me to see her. I said no and she killed herself the day before I was supposed to stand up in court as a witness to my father's murder. I called a week after I found out. I just can't hold myself together anymore Gil. You saw me earlier, I've gone back to drowning my feelings. All I want to feel is numbness and I'm doing it the only way I know how."

That was it. Sara broke down there and then. Everything she had been keeping in about her mother and the lose of her child almost two years ago, just poured out. She was glad she was in the arms of Grissom. No one else could have made her feel loved. He was the only home she ever had.

Sara curled up in Grissom's arms, her hand once again found it's way to her stomach. Grissom's hand soon joined hers.

'One day Sara I promise we will have a child.'

******

The next morning Grissom awoke to the sound of smashing glass and screaming.

A/N: What do you think is ging on at the Grissom/Sidle beach house? Do you think Grissom has any secrets he is yet to tell Sara, if so what? And, do you think Grissom will react to Sara's confession of missing her child, when she has sobered up? Please let me know what you thought of this chapter, I know many of you have been begging me to get Sara to tell Grissom the reason she called him to come to Frisco.
Thanks to all of you that answer the above questions. Don't forget, it is you guys that help decide what happens next =O)
Hope it was what you wanted, and take care.
Paige.