LWD – LWD – LWD – LWD – LWD – LWD –
Day Four --
The next morning, there was a big follow-up scene to Derek's one sentence break up with his live-in girlfriend.
Sally's brothers came over to "finish moving her stuff" (one not very big rolling suitcase that, really, Marti could have pulled to Sally's rental car by herself).
I'm not sure what Sally hoped would happen but Derek just looked amused at the two scowling and muscle-flexing brothers.
He explained to me later… that most of the opposing hockey players he faced these days couldn't wait to be the one to take Hockey's Bad Boy down a notch: …slam him into the boards …punch him out …kick his ass all over the ice. ..
(Well you get the picture.)
"I pretty much assume everyone wants to do something to me and I don't really mind it anymore…"
"That is a horribly cynical point of view, Derek."
"I have no idea what you just said."
But whatever Sally had hoped for was sort of lost with Derek smirking at her brothers – looking for all the world exactly the same as he had looked on the cover of Sports Illustrated earlier that month.
Because Sally's brothers had been away at university when She had dated him during Derek's junior year -- they never got to see him as just "Derek – an obnoxious assistant manager from Smelly Nellies who wants to date your sister" and instead saw him as "that famous Hockey player who constantly makes not just the sporting news but also (quite regularly) the tabloids and (even occasionally) the 'Celebrity Crime & Trials' sections of the regular papers."
Really, I don't think Sally would have been too happy at all about them accepting autographed copies of the Sports Illustrated (George had bought fifty copies) not to mention the free Cannucks beer-can cozies (again courtesy of George and his lifetime supply of all things glorifying his son's career).
"Great meeting you. Stop by any time!" Derek said as he ushered them out the front door.
I watched him with my arms folded over my chest and what I was sure must have been look of disgust on my face. "Don't you EVER suffer ANY consequences for the things you do?"
Derek's expression was blank – or would have been blank to the average person. I stood to stand in front of him, "What is it? What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong."
Uh oh. What the hell had I tapped into here? Derek has no problem talking about what's wrong when it isn't a big deal.
"Derek…"
But if I thought I could melt it out of him right then and there I had my work cut out for me. My mom was suddenly before us wringing her hands with her headache face on, "Casey? Is it too late to beg for your forgiveness and ask you to please, please, please take over the reunion planning again?"
"What's happening Mom?"
"It's Fiona and Harold, a pipe in their house burst so, while the contractors fix everything, they decided to take their vacation early."
Derek had plopped into his recliner and was already surfing the television, "Sounds cool. Where are they going?"
I rolled my eyes, "Umm…here, Derek. And they're bringing Vicki with them…"
I must say; I do enjoy that blushing and rubbing at the mouth thing Derek does when he gets uncomfortable or anxious.
Those tells of Derek's used to be akin to fireworks and a marching band parade to me back in high school. It meant that Derek was getting dangerously close to …something …unpleasant.
And, since he never suffered any consequences for the things he did or didn't do, Derek at least suffering unpleasantness was usually somewhat …satisfying…for me.
"That's right!" my mom seemed to be reaching back in time to what was obviously a very distorted vision of her sister's wedding. "Derek, you and Vicki were friendly weren't you? Maybe you wouldn't mind keeping her busy for a few days before the holiday?"
I think the smile on my face was blinding! Ha! Try and get out of this one Venturi!
What my mom didn't remember (but to be honest she never really knew the whole story about either) was that Vicki had tried to date Derek after Fiona's wedding.
And, while Derek was happy to hook-up with her on occasion, he didn't really understand the depth of Vicki's attachment to him.
And, when I say "depth" what I mean is…an obsessive sort of – if I can't have you then no one will… and did I mention I'm saving the hairballs from your trashcan along with your nail clippings, used towels and lots and lots of pictures that I took of you from my car which is parked outside your window? – type of depth.
Oh and when I say, "attachment" what I mean is…this craziness lasted for 6 months and even had a three week relapse junior year (after our family was forced to eat a miserable Easter dinner at Fiona's house).
Well this was as close as I was going to get to Derek suffering some consequences
…and it tasted sweet, sweet, sweet….
Derek looked horrified. "Um Nora…I don't…"
"Please Derek, I would ask Casey but she needs to get everything ready and…I am so stressed out right now…" my mom squeaked.
"Nana Susan and Papa Fred are insisting on coming early now too because they think that Fiona and I are leaving them out…and my mother…I mean Nana Susan always walks around the house and lifts the knickknacks to make sure that I am dusting and my dad…I mean Papa Fred always insists on rewiring the light-fixtures …."
I was rubbing my mom's back to express my sympathy because what she was saying was exactly true.
My Nana Susan did conduct a thorough (and usually unflattering assessment of my mom's housekeeping skills when she visited) and Papa Fred (who used to be an electrician before he retired) did rewire the light fixtures (which never failed to short out – sometimes in spectacular explosions – the next time someone flipped a light on).
"Please Derek?..." my mom actually had tears in her eyes (whoa she really was stressed out).
"Uh…" Derek was looking very flushed and when his hand swiped his mouth again I could hear him mutter, "Someone fucking kill me".
But he couldn't resist my mother ( who I know he loved even more than his own mother) especially when she was desperate and teary,
"Sure, Nora," he muttered dejectedly.
He glared at my barely concealed mirth. "I'm sure Casey and I both can keep Vicki happy, right Case?"
"Wrong Derek! I'm throwing together a reunion—at the very last and unprepared minute—did you not hear the beginning of my mom's freakout?"
But he wasn't listening to me anymore – too busy giving me that muscle clenched, narrow eyed look that usually lead to his springing to grab the remote, or the last piece of pizza, or the keys to the car, or any of the other little things that he loved to take from me by force. The only thing was…I didn't have any of those little things…
Since Sally's departure the night before, the air had become charged around the two of us.
Every time he looked my direction I could feel the way wanted to peel off my clothes piece by piece, and how angry it was making him that he couldn't.
When Sally had finally finished storming around the house – gathering her things to take back to her parents (and Good God! – was it possible to even make any more clamor than she did? There was cussing and slapping and twice Sally lobbed things at Derek that hit the wall so hard pictures fell.)
It was truly, AMAZING the way my family managed to fake sleep through the entire thing – although I could hear Edwin and Liz cheer when Derek FINALLY closed (and locked!) the front door behind her.
The whole time, I'd been sort of flitting around the edges of things – righting the fallen pictures, getting ice for Derek's cheek (he waved me away – "Just go to your room, Case, I really don't need her turning on you next" ).
I didn't listen of course and went on to gather up Derek's clothes that Sally had flung from their designer luggage.
I would have even folded them, but it would have reminded me a little too much of the night I had helped my stepbrother pack for Vancouver …and that would have reminded me of my own guilt in the major snit his newly ex-(yay!) - girlfriend was destroying the house with.
I was sitting on the stairs in my pajama's by the time she had gone and Derek had slumped against the front door.
We shared the quick smile we used to share as teenagers whenever we managed to pull off the impossible – the post Fiona's wedding, post Edwin/Lizzie dance party, post summer camp variety of smile.
It only lasted a second though before the electricity sparked…
Derek's eyes darkened; his jaw locked – I wasn't sure if he was planning on hurting me or finishing what we started that night before we parted ways five months ago.
I was sure that I didn't want to stick around and find out.
No, I really do mean that…
I know, I know…listen…I know….
I've been going on and on about wanting him like crazy. The way his jeans fit, his voice, his smirk , the gorgeous long-lashed "come and get me" look in his eyes but…it 's just …he sort scared me okay?
I mean…what do I know about Derek's kind of "being with another person"?
I'm a 'boyfriend girl'.
I go on maybe one date – when I am already certain that I like the guy and hoping we have a future together and then --voila! – I have a new boyfriend.
And even this chain of events is a little risky for me. I prefer the way Max and I started dating…he asks me to be his girlfriend, meets my family, I meet his and then we go on our first date.
But Derek?
What was it he wanted from me exactly? The two of us had always been more about NOT confronting what was there than ….whatever it was Derek expected of me now that he'd removed this latest barrier to our ...consummation.
Derek was a lot more… experienced and …aggressive and …mean and …unpredictable and … jealous and …unmanageable and… demanding and …possessive and …rough and…
Oh alright! I'll stop!
But now that there was only me – trembling at the top of the stairs in my pink flannel pajamas and him – stalking slowly up the same stairs with a hungry, angry, "you will be mine" sort of look to him….
You think that's hot? Seriously? Hot?
No! It was terrifying!
I panicked!
I would have run into my room and locked the door – if I thought I had any kind of hope that it might stop him from getting whatever it was he wanted -- but I knew that a locked door – especially MY locked door – was nothing to Derek Venturi.
He'd gotten round that plenty of times in the past.
Hell, he could get past my locked door in mid-chase, soaking wet and holding a ready to burst water balloon in one hand. ( I'd not only seen him do it, I'd had that balloon splat against my face as I cowered in my closet!)
So I did the only thing that I COULD do in my desperate state, and I made the fastest sprint of my life over to my little stepsister's room. "Marti? Marti? Are you awake?"
"That depends…"
"Sally's gone."
"Okay. Then I'm awake."
I crawled into bed with her and snuggled up. "I was just thinking that it would be fun for us to have one of our sleepovers –like when I was high school."
"Um…"
"Okay so goodnight! " I curled against her and pretended to be asleep. I could feel her shrug and then snuggle back towards me.
There was one tense moment when the door opened and Derek's silhouette stood black and menacing against the hallway light.
He was tense , muscles taught and one fist clenched in his frustration with me.
He waited there a long time just looking into Marti's dark room – I don't even know if he could see us because Marti slept under a mound of stuffed animals and pillows but I was afraid to move – or do anything that might give away that I was still awake.
I just needed things to calm down. I needed HIM to calm down before things between us went a direction that felt more and more completely out of control to me.
What was my problem? Yeah, yeah, you've seen him on the television playing hockey and whatnot and YOU wouldn't have any kind of problem at all with letting him do whatever he wanted to you …
My "problem" was…
I wanted more than just the highly anticipate d release of three years, five months and four days of pent up sexual tension!
I wanted the whole package – the sexy boy with the low slung jeans and the bedroom voice -- the sweet boy who protected his nerdy stepsister all through high school (mostly regardless of the denting his own cool reputation took) – the tender boy who climbed inside blanket forts with his little sister to read her goodnight stories – the creative boy who pulled together an A+ short film out of a pile of rejected clips and failed scenes -- the loyal boy who would stoop to compromise (even though he hated every last second of it) , if it meant preserving a new family he wasn't even that crazy about…
I wanted ALL these and not just a one night stand with Hockey's Bad Boy – before he left me in the dust to go back to being the Cannuck's star player.
Was this too much to hope for?
I hoped not. (Besides, I did NOT want to sleep in a pile of stuffed animals for the next week and a half! I think my last thought before finally drifting off was that I could feel Sir Monks Allot's plastic banana nosing its way into my ass-crack. )
LWD – LWD – LWD – LWD – LWD – LWD
Since everyone else had already changed plans to come early – my Uncle Robert and his family made the split second decision to get an earlier flight from Chicago. I loved Robert (his wife Sandra not so much) and I had always been good friends with their twins: Jessica and Dave. I was even excited to see Jess and Dave and to have them meet the Venturis. We hadn't seen each other since we were all in the 8th grade together, back when their family lived in Toronto.
"Oh God…My head is killing me. Is it too late to just call the whole thing off and check into a nice quiet psychiatric institution for the holidays?"
"Mom, I need you to try and keep it together here."
We were in the kitchen arranging plates of goat cheese and veggies – Because my mom was so desperate for my help… I'd gotten my way with the salmon and the sesame puffs!
Everything was set out on glass plates on the freshly pressed white table cloth buffet I had arranged.
Even though it was absolutely gorgeous…my mom was still skeptical!
"Casey, you don't think this is just a little fancy? I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable."
Before I could open my mouth Derek had sauntered in behind me holding a piece of the raw salmon in front of him like he'd found it trying to slither across the floor and attack someone. "Shouldn't this be…cooked?"
"Shouldn't you be entertaining Vicki?"
"Hey, I took her to a movie AND bought her lunch. I probably set her back in her therapy by like two years or something."
"Vicki is in therapy?"
Derek flung the piece of salmon into the kitchen sink and looked with disgust at the food my mom and I were trying to get ready. "Yeah – she says she's really made a lot of progress in her obsessive thoughts towards me," he offered nonchalantly.
His expression turned a little thoughtful, "Still, I saw her pocket the straw from my drink at the theatre. She also slipped my used ketchup packet into her purse after lunch."
My mom's forehead creased with worry. "Poor Vicki."
"You took her to lunch someplace that had ketchup packets?" I whisper screeched at him. "Derek, Could you at least act slightly worthy of my cousin's freakish obsession with you?"
Mom nodded in agreement with a frown on her face. "Great!" she grumbled at him. "Fiona will make sure I never hear the end of you taking Vicki out for fast food! Not after my sister had to pay for three months at that fancy mental hospital."
Derek looked at both of us like we were crazy.
But it didn't really matter what stupid Derek thought – I was feeling very proud of myself.
Despite all the chaos caused by my mother's inefficient methods and the rest of the family's utter lack of taste…
I had managed to pull together an elegant and sophisticated family gathering!
My Nana Susan was so impressed!
There was the starched white tablecloth, the festive (yet refined!) arrangement of pale pink chrysanthemums, the orchestral Christmas music playing on cd, the graceful placement of ivory and silver candles flickering…ahhh …it was sooooo beautiful …
you should have seen it. ..
Oh, of course Derek ruined the whole thing.
He must have emptied an entire bottle of bourbon into the eggnog. And then (seemingly out of nowhere) a cooler of beer appeared near the kitchen island. Plus there were shots of cinnamon Schnapps and little espresso cups with Bailey's …oh and hot chocolate with Frangelico…
Soon my tasteful orchestral Christmas music was replaced with "Have a Rockin Reggae Holiday"
-- something I know Derek owns!
Uncle Robert and family ended up delayed by 2 hours so by the time George came back with them the candles had all burned down and Marti was making little candlewax hats for her fingers.
And …(I'm not above admitting it)…NO ONE liked the food. Maybe I was adopted? Switched at birth? Fostered out like a princess in a fairy tale????
(The result of not liking the food was that they all drank Derek's booze on empty stomachs. )
What could have been a sophisticated and classy affair became a horrible, drunken farce of my vision for the evening…
A beer in one hand and a cocktail cherry hanging out of the corner of her mouth, Nana Susan started making candlewax hats with Marti.
The twins were slumped against each other on the couch, the empty bottle of Bailey's wedged between them. Vicki tried to play piano along to the reggae Christmas tunes (Lizzie soon joined her with a set of toy bongos).
Papa Fred snored loudly from Derek's chair as my mother and George dirty danced in front of him.
Disgusting!
Uncle Robert and Fiona got in a fight – and I don't just mean "argument" – Harold and Edwin had to wrestle my uncle out onto the porch and away from the living room after Fiona threatened him with a broken lamp.
I think Lizzie got her mellowed back out with the last of the Schnapps.
And the pièce de rèsistance to the evening?
Hmmm….That would have to be when My Aunt Sandra (Robert's wife) exposed her breasts to Derek in the laundry room…something I had the "pleasure" of walking in on!
"Der-rek!"
"What in the hell is going on here?"
There was a loud suction noise as the two of them broke apart – (and lucky for my stepbrother that I know him as well as I do because I could immediately discern that he had not been willingly involved in whatever had been the source of that suction.)
As a matter of fact Derek looked a little frightened – a really sort of humorous fact – I started to giggle.
"Casandra! Your stepbrother was just …helping me with my…blouse…I think the buttonholes are a little loose or something…"
However…Despite how my Aunt Sandra described events…It sure as hell looked like she wasn't quite as busy attending to her "loose buttonhole" problem as she was to gripping Derek's shirt and trying to pry it up and out of his hands as he held it down!
"Yeah. I think your aunt was trying to …" Derek finally wrenched his shirt free and took a sort of leap backwards to slam into the dryer. "I think she wanted to borrow my shirt…but …as you know Casey…I don't really like to share." He pierced me with a glare that I could tell was supposed to mean something.
I had no idea what – but something.
"Umm…"
Derek gave my aunt a mean smirk, "Listen, Aunt Sandra, I appreciate all you said about your…fantasizing about me and wanting to …"see just how bad I can be firsthand"…and everything…but I really need some quality time here with my stepsister." He dragged me against his chest and circled one arm around my waist.
"Der-rek!"
My aunt gave me an icy look that absolutely shocked me!
(This same woman had taken her daughter and I out to get ice cream when we were Marti's age – she had made the twins and I giant cookie birthday cakes when we turned eleven – she had helped my mom sew the dress I wore to 6th grade graduation! )
And now she was looking at me like I was her…rival…for Derek!
"I see…" she now drawled at me and looked me up and down.
It was a drunken "size you up" look that Derek's high school bimbos always did before they figured out I wasn't really competition -- that I was nothing but the loser sister.
"Enjoy your 'quality time' Cassandra," Aunt Sandra slurred. "But, frankly, sweetie, I think you're a little out of your league with this one… Don't you?" My aunt stepped daintily out the door then and it snicked neatly closed behind her.
Derek and I stood in the darkness, still pressed together and breathing heavily from the scene with my aunt. At least I was breathing heavily! What the hell?!
Derek finally cleared his throat, "That is one drunk, horny and pissed off woman."
I turned to look into his eyes – I could just make them out in the darkness.
"But what she said is right. Isn't it? I AM out of my league with you. Girls throw themselves at you all the time – you're a big star now" ( I was trying really hard not to sound bitter but what was the use? Derek could see through everything I did and said just like I could with him!) "I don't think we're in the same world any more Derek…"
"Yeah…" Derek coughed out. And I thought I sounded bitter! As usual, Derek had me beat by a thousand percent!
"How is that for some consequences, Case?" His voice cracked a little and I remembered earlier that day and the strange look he had given me.
I leaned my forehead against his and we just breathed together in the dark.
"You could ask me to come with you…" I offered, my voice so low and soft that he didn't have to acknowledge it if he didn't want me to come with him. ..And, if he wanted to spare my feelings. ..
"I don't want you there." Well I guess sparing my feelings wasn't a priority for him…. it didn't seem like he was worried about that….
"Oh." I tried to pull away but he held me tight to him and I could never resist him – not even if I could break free of his arms.
"I hate who I am there, Casey. I hate the bad boy thing. I hate the fawning and the fancy crap. I don't want you to see me there – being that." His voice was raspy, panting… desolate.
My voice was gone, thanks to the tears that clogged my throat and filled my eyes. I let him pull me closer.
I let him do what he needed to do. His hands were hot and moving over my body, touching my skin, tugging at my clothes…
He didn't kiss me or fully undress me… "Casey, Casey…"
He just kept touching me and panting into my ear, saying my name over and over in that same rough and hopeless way.
TBC