Wow I'm really happy to see how many hits (224 not that I'm bragging)I've gotten I've been working REALLY hard on this plus I had to deal with some idiot named The Ninth Layer who's being a paper gangsta and saying her stories are better that mine but won't give me the link to read them, but whatever that makes me sick and I don't talk to people like that cause it's weak! If you're gunna say that than back your shit up!

Sorry if I'm ranting, but she REALLY pissed me off!

Anyways thanks to Raph's No.1 Girl + MusicStar21 for reviewing I promise I'll try to update more often. Okie Dokie?

ENJOY!!!!!

The Sai Tattoo

Chapter 5: What do you want?

Spencer's eyes shot open, she had a 'where-the-hell-am-I' moment, but as soon as she saw the green arm and tree fingered hand draped over her side it all flowed back to her memory. She looked at his alarm clock, groaned and buried her face back into Raph's pillow.

Spencer rolled over carefully so she wouldn't wake Raphael up and studied his face, the frown lines, the dark spots, the way his chest rose and fell as he snored lightly in his sleep, and she smiled at every little noise he made. Spencer couldn't believe how extremely safe she felt in his arms.

She knew she was falling, but she didn't know how to stop, she'd never pictured herself with any one, she was always too much of a loner. Yet every time she looked at Raph she felt light headed and flushed. She wondered if it was possible for humans to spend their lives with other ceatures outside their own species.

Raph's eyes fluttered open and he caught Spencer's stares.

"Morning." He said

"Actually it's more like night now."

"Oh? I should have guessed that we slept through the day."

"Raphael, last night, before your brother interrupted, we almost…"

"So, you hungry?" He pulled himself up

"No. Raph, you can't just pretend it didn't happen!"

"Spencer, I have to."

"Why?"

"Because if I get attached to you get hurt or something happens... I just I can't."

"What if I promised you I won't try to hurt you?"

"There's no promise on Earth or any other planet you can make that I would believe."

"And why not? Cause you're scared?" She sat up and put her hand on his shoulder, "Raph, you can't just put up a wall between you and everyone else once in awhile you have to trust some one enough to let them in."

"I... I am scared." He admitted

"Why, Raph?"

"Because..." Raph let out a long breathe, "Your not the first girl I've had feelings for."

"What?" Spencer asked stunned

"Her name was Baya, I met her one night while doing a scan of the town we lived in then she was getting mugged by this guy at knife point, but to make a long story short we dated for awhile, I thought every thing was perfect, but she played me like a card game the guy was her real boyfriend it was all a set up just to see if they could, they knew who I was just like you, and it took Splinter a long time to cover our tracks. That's why I don't trust you Spencer, Baya, she..." He trailed off

"Broke your heart." Spencer said and he nodded, "Oh, Raph."

"No! Don't you dare feel sorry for me I'm a ninja turtle, I don't need love!"

"It doesn't matter what you need it's what you want that counts!"

"Want? What I want could destory my family!"

"Raph, Baya hurt you, but not every girl is like that! Not every girl is a bitch!"

Raphael was silent for a moment.

"Just don't think, Raph, don't think about her, focus on this, here and now forget about her."

"Forget?"

"Yeah, Raph, forget."

He closed his eyes and let out another long breath.

"Raph, what do you want?"

"What I want... What I've always wanted, was for some one to accept me for who I am and not care about the way I look, some one who'll listen to me."

"I could be that person, Raph, but you have to let me in, you have to trust me."

"Spencer." He breathed out, "Right now I do trust you and that's what scares me."

"Don't be, I trusted you enough to tell you about my brother, so just put alittle faith in me that a won't hurt you, please."

For that moment Raph looked into Spencer eyes and saw what he'd always wanted to see, acceptance.

Okay so that's chater 5, and guess what I have a confession to make... I have absolutly no idea where this story is going, but thanks for reading and I promise I'll keep writing it and sooner or later I'll have a long term plan for it, ok? R&R

~V1Baby