Chapter 9

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He left! I still couldn't quite get my mind around it.

Well, Casey, what did you expect to happen? I chided myself.

It was the first time I had ever jumped into something without taking into account of all the possible repercussions of my actions. Actually make that the second time (because the first was that fateful night before we left home), (although, technically that night could still be considered a part of the misery of my current predicament) (and, now that I think of it, my entire relationship with Derek was driven by gut reactions entirely unlike the way I conduct myself in all other areas of my life). So make that the fifty-billionth time I had jumped into something without thinking it through (thanks to Derek!) but the first it ever hurt quite this badly…

There had been that one moment…just before Vicky had announced that Derek was gone …when everything seemed nearly right in my world.

Standing back from the table, viewing them at a distance (and …okay…one eye closed) my family had seemed almost normal.

Well, let me tell you…I DID NOT stay under that delusion for long. Even with both eyes closed the nearly right moment dissolved from "family gathered together for Christmas Eve turkey" into "family gathered together for Jerry Springer reveal." Vicky was sobbing and clutching at my stepbrother's used towel. Marti was sobbing and clutching at my mom.

My Aunt Sandra was cackling like a witch…"You didn't seriously expect a hot piece like Derek Venturi to stick around for your quaint little Christmas gift exchange, did you?" I meant to say, like the witch that she truly is deep inside her rotten black heart.

She'd directed the comment at me of course, although no one knew that.

But, because I was standing in front of Vicky (and Vicky was the one having the meltdown as opposed to my outwardly calm behavior) it looked like Aunt Sandra had directed the comment at my emotionally fragile cousin.

And that was just plain cruel (or would have been).

Fiona and Robert might have been pried apart from a fistfight the first night of our family reunion, but it was clear that despite the intensity of their fights, the sibling loyalty ran deep:

Robert abruptly stood from the table, "That's my niece, Sandra, my little sister's ONLY child…" He was outraged –finally! – by my his wife's behavior: picking on poor sobbing Vicky.

Aunt Sandra opened her mouth to correct everyone.

She was just about to out my relationship with Derek , when (Thank you God!) Robert tacked on …"You've been a bitch to me and my family this week and now you're picking on my little sister's barely out of the nut-house ONLY child!"

(And I am sure that he meant that "barely out of the nut-house" thing to sound way less inappropriate than it came out.) Everyone else gave him the same pass on this comment because we were all shocked and delighted to find that -- Uncle Robert has a backbone?????? And furthermore, someone finally called Aunt Sandra a bitch!!!!!!!!!!

"I'm not going to sit and listen to this, Robert!" my aunt snarled at him.

She slammed her wine glass down so hard that the stem snapped; the crashing bulb of her glass exploding against her plate, sending wine and glass shards over all the food.

We all thrust away from the table at the same time and there was a great clatter of over-turned chairs, and falling silverware.

My Uncle Robert's nostrils flared in his anger like a bull's. When he reached to the pocket inside his jacket, I was half-expecting him to pull out a gun (GASP!)

(but it was just a thick packet of papers).

"I was going to give this to you tomorrow Sandra but I'd rather be done with it. "

Robert brandished the papers dramatically and we all watched with rapt and fascinated expressions (except for Aunt Sandra, who was still snarling like a chained dog).

"Divorce papers!"

(DOUBLE GASP!)

Robert shrugged at my aunt's now startled expression, "I've met someone else."

He threw the packet into my aunt's face, "Merry Christmas, Sandra."

(TRIPLE GASP!!!!!)

We were all staring, silent in our horror as my aunt, scooped the papers from her lap. She'd only been surprised in that first moment; she looked furious now.

(Even Vicky had paused her loud grieving at being unable to give Derek his Secret Santa gift to watch the Mexican novella our turkey dinner had become) . So where was I?

Oh yea…Aunt Sandra was furious…If typically mild-mannered Uncle Robert was capable of this much drama – then think of what my aunt would upstage him with!!! (QUADRUPLE GASP!!!!)

But we never got to the second act because Marti was present – oh not that they would have held back on her account (Jessica and Dave, their own twins, were both watching; huddled and distraught) – SO, no, pertinent fact of Marti's presence was that my little stepsister had just witnessed something BEING EXCHANGED ( and with the obligatory "Merry Christmas" even!).

"AT LAAAAAAAAAST!" Marti screeched in that ear-splitting way children can.

"SECRET SANTA GIFT EXCHANGE TIME!!!!"

And really, I guess it was fitting that she was the only one excited about it ….the girl made out like a bandit.

I had actually made sure to get Marti's name (I was the only one guaranteed not to cave to her gift-interrogation tactics) and while she didn't appreciate my present at all (Which I totally don't understand as I would have absolutely LOVED to have my own monogrammed dictionary/thesaurus set at her age!) Mart DID appreciate all the other things she ended up with from the "exchange" :

The white, rabbit fur slippers she had coveted early in the day had actually been a present for Lizzie from Nana Susan.

Rabbit fur!!!!! For Lizzie!!!!!

It was like giving my sister a …dead….something…. (like a rabbit?) .

Lizzie actually had to make a dash for the bathroom (from which we could all hear her loud retching noises).

(You know, it isn't often I get to say this, but I felt she was acting a little too much like a drama queen about the…rabbits…I mean rabbit skin…no, I mean rabbit fur….ugh! )

Then there was Aunt Sandra's present for me: my very own Whore Of The Old West nightgown!!! I noticed mine was a plus size – obviously she intended anyone (Derek) who might see me in the getup to think back to how much better she had looked in hers – Bitch!

I gave it to Marti for dress-up.

Then Jessica refused to accept her gift (a coral bracelet) because it came from her father. (Jessica left with Aunt Sandra).

Then Dave refused to accept his gift (cashmere muffler) because it came from Jessica (Dave left with Uncle Robert).

Marti was wearing both the next morning.

Neither Robert nor Sandra physically participated in the exchange (taking turns packing things at the hotel room after hotel security forcibly separated them, then shouting at each other before getting into their separate taxis with their now separated twin siblings). Still, Robert got a silk tie from Fiona's husband Harold (Marti tied it around her waist as a sash),

and Sandra got …nothing…as Derek had been her Secret Santa.

Vicky made a really cool collage out of a collection of snapshots she had taken during high school. She had a picture from every winning game Derek had played Sophomore and Junior year (plus a couple of him practicing during the summer in between the two)– the thing was huge: as long as the couch when it was fully unrolled.

I think , once he got past how creepy it was, Derek would have really liked it.

Marti put it up on her wall.

Edwin got Nana Susan a crochet needle and yarn.

"Old ladies like to knit things, right?" Edwin said good-naturedly.

Nana Susan gave him a pained smile, "Oh I …"

But Marti piped up, "I like to knit things!" We all raised our eyebrows at her. "Well…I might like it. I definitely like that sparkly yellow yarn!"

Papa Fred got Mom a set of pink , satin, quilted book covers – "Those will make great Barbie sleeping bags!" said Marti.

Mom got Fiona (who doesn't cook) the Tupperware 2009 Starter Collection – "Perfect for mud pies!" said Marti.

George got Fred (who doesn't golf) velvet golf club covers – "Doll hats!" said Marti.

Lizzie got Harold (who doesn't care) a Stop the Delisting of Arctic Wolves sweatshirt – "Matches my stuffed animal!" said Marti.

Dave wasn't there to give George anything. "Well, that sucks!" said Marti.

And Marti got Vicky an 8 x 10 autographed photo of Derek (in a pink frame engraved with little hearts). – "Maybe I should just keep this?" Marti said.

The little girl gently taking the photo back from a (once again – sigh) hysterical Vicky.

I have never been so glad to say goodbye to the holiday and retreat to my bedroom. Maybe, if I can get to sleep, I will wake up and this whole thing will just be one long and terrible nightmare. Wouldn't that be nice?

I kicked my shoes off and pulled my shirt over my head. Maybe Derek didn't just leave me behind – like I was one of the many girls he'd screwed over his many years of screwing.

I undid my jeans and let them drop. I flipped off the lights. Maybe he never stayed here with Sally in the first place, never punched a hole in the wall or acted like a jealous bastard when he found me at Sam's house in my pajamas.

I pulled my hair out of its clip. Maybe I never came home in the first place…maybe I never volunteered to help with this ridiculous family reunion and just stayed in Toronto to take an inter-session class …or two…or three…

I plopped down on my bed and yanked the covers over myself. Maybe…

But no!

I couldn't even find the comfort of peaceful oblivion in my own bed – because SOMEONE had left SOMETHING there! And it better not be anything gross! Wouldn't it be just like Derek to not only leave me – but to leave me with a prank! That bastard!

I WAS IRATE!

I jumped out of my bed wanting to scream in outrage! I would fly to Vancouver and KILL HIM – with MY BARE HANDS!

I switched the overhead lights back on to see just what my soon-to-be-deceased stepbrother had left in my bed…

IT WAS…

…a box?

Just a plain cream box – with a navy ribbon and "from Derek" scrawled across one side in pencil.

Oh.

He got me a gift.

Well – if he thinks this is going to make up for ditching me, he is dead wrong! And, anyway, this was probably something he had originally picked out for Sally. Derek is the king of all re-gifting because he hates shopping and is incapable of taking the time or consideration to actually pick out a gift…

I undid the ribbon and lifted the lid.

I fully expected to see some kind of horrible lingerie item that would not only make my Aunt Sandra's Whore Of The Old West ensemble seem fit for Nana Susan but also be in his ex-girlfriend's size.

And I wasn't at first disappointed because whatever it was in there was purple and silky.

I pulled it out with a disdainful flourish.

A scarf.

A dark purple silk scarf – with gold writing on it.

I peered closer at the scarf -- held it between my fingers. It was so soft that I could barely feel it in my hands. The gold writing was a slanted old fashioned script – Shakespeare's sonnets? – each different – no sonnet repeated.

It was so perfectly …me.

That bastard!

TO BE CONTINUED – (LIKE…TOMORROW!)