Summary: The continued journey of Rachel Berry, Noah Puckerman and their New Directions family as they handle new gleeks, old friendships, surprise siblings, love, a second run at Nationals and senior year. The sequel to Living for the First Time.
Pairings: Puckleberry, Bartie, Chang-squared, Samtana, Finncedes, one-sided Klaine. Puck/Rachel/Santana/Sam, Blamman, Faberry friendship.
Warnings: Caution, this fic may contain crude language and discussion of sexual activities. In other words, I have a potty mouth and watch way too many cable television shows! There may be spoilers for season three but I'm trying to avoid seeming anything like that season. So yeah….
Special chapter warning: there is discussion of mental illness and suicide that may be triggering for some people. the opinions reflected by characters in this story do not necessarily reflect my own. if you, or someone you know, is having suicidal thoughts please get help. Ok. That's my PSA.
Disclaimer: I don't own this show or anything related to this show. I wish I did because seriously Season Five is already a train wreck and it really only just started!
Author's Note: Hola! I'm back. Hope you enjoy this new chapter. Not going to lie. This chapter is kind of dark, even for me. There are a couple of heavy moments in here. Hope that it's too traumatic. Most of all, I hope you all enjoy this chapter.
Audition
"Right, so who's going to be our new cannon fodder?"
"Noah!"
"Fine, who are our new recruits?"
Rachel rolled her eyes at her boyfriend's entirely feigned put out tone. She glanced up in time to see the smile plastered on his face. She knew he was joking but she still didn't want to give the auditioning students the wrong idea. Not that they were there. She just felt like they could hear them. Even though they were all told to go home after auditions were over. Surprisingly (or maybe not so much considering they were second place at Nationals), they had a pretty decent turn out. There were ten students that tried out. Ten students that weren't stalked or coerced or guilt tripped into auditioning. They did it on their own and genuinely wanted to be in the glee club. And from those ten, they would ultimately choose five that would still (hopefully) be around for next year.
"Well, first," Blaine started from where he sat sprawled in the front row seats. Sam was beside him snoring quietly. The former Warbler spared him a look before shaking his head and continuing. "We have Kitty Wilde. She's a freshman and a Cheerio."
"Oh yeah, her," Tina said. "You know she's totally a spy for Sylvester, right?"
"Pretty much," Puck shrugged. "But she can sing. She can dance. And most importantly, it's better for us to keep our enemies closer. That psycho totally forgot about us last year. If we're back on her radar, it might pay to keep as close an eye on her as possible."
"So we're spying on the spy?" Finn mused. "That's kind of genius and awesome."
"I thought so too. So a vote. Should we let Kitty the spy in?" there were a few no's but for the most part they all agreed with Puck's logic, Rachel included. "Awesome. Next?"
"Jake Puckerman," Quinn read aloud with a smug grin. She lowered the paper and looked around the rest of the glee club. "We're not seriously going to vote on this, are we?"
"Yeah, we are," Puck protested. "He can't get in just because he's my brother."
"How about just because he's amazing," Mercedes countered with a smirk of her own. "It's like he's the perfect version of you. Unlike your two out of three, Jake's got the full three out of three. He's got the voice, the looks and the moves."
"Also innocence and a face like an adorable baby seal," Brittany added. Puck gave her a hurt look. She patted him on the head. "But the original flavor Puckerman is still my favorite."
Rachel giggled. "Ok, so I take it that we're all in favor of Jake joining?" it was an overwhelming consensus of yes. "Ok, next we have Wade Adams."
"Also known as the one that Jesse stole from Vocal Adrenaline," Santana chimed in. She turned to their assistant choir teacher. "Seriously, were you lurking outside Carmel or something just waiting for their new students?"
"Of course not," Jesse protested. "Unlike you losers, Vocal Adrenaline scouts ahead. They know who is going to audition before the school year is over, even incoming freshmen. I just happened to obtain a copy of that list and went through their new potentials' Youtube videos. Most of them sucked except for Wade. So I just pointed out how McKinley might be a crap school with mouth breathing students that are probably destined to never aspire higher than senior manager at McDonalds but at least he wouldn't be the biggest freak with the rest of you around. Also that the glee club members appear to be the only ones that might make it out of this godforsaken town."
"How is it that he manages to say something that's simultaneously flattering towards us yet horribly insulting?" Artie mused. He shrugged it off, looking back at the paper in front of him. "I like Wade. He's talented. But did anyone else get the feeling that he wasn't… I don't know, comfortable?"
Jesse looked down. Rachel narrowed her eyes. "Jesse, what did you do?"
Their former rival sighed. "Ok, look, so I might not have been completely up front. Yes, his name is Wade. But apparently he prefers to be called Unique. I told him that if he was going to fit in around here, he had to dress a certain way."
"And that was….?"
"Like a boy," Jesse mumbled.
"Oh," was the general response. Then a moment passed and they all gasped in unison. "Wait, no! That's a bad Jesse!"
"New Directions is about being free to be who you want to be," Mercedes chided. "If he's happier dressing as a female, then that's his right. We support each other no matter what."
"Aretha is right," Santana added. "Seriously, it's like you just never learn a damn thing, St. Dumbass." Jesse rolled his eyes and stuck out his tongue. Santana returned the favor with a smile earning a reluctant one in return from the older teen. "So all those who are in favor of letting Unique in New Directions say aye."
"Aye," they all answered.
"Perfect!" Puck clapped his hands together. "We've got three of the five. Can we all just agree that Jacob Ben Israel is not going to be in the glee club? Because if he is, I'm so out."
"I don't even know why he auditioned," Quinn grumbled.
"Seriously?" Tina raised an eyebrow, throwing a pointed look in Rachel's direction. "You can't think of a single reason why?"
"Well yeah but I just didn't think he was that crazy," Quinn rolled her eyes.
"Honestly, I think we're all struggling to understand how he can be so delusional that he doesn't realize there is no way Rachel's going to break up with Puck's sexy ass for his weird pervy pizza face," Blaine commented idly.
Rachel giggled as Puck swooped down to press a quick kiss against Blaine's cheek. The former Warbler pushed him away laughing and rubbing his cheek clean with his elbow. The movement was enough to jostle Sam into awareness. And this, of course, started a not at all real fight with the trio. Rachel smiled as she watched the other gleeks get involved, even Jesse (albeit with a lot of fake grumbling and complaining about how they needed to grow up). This is what she wished they had all along. This friendship and camaraderie. This was nice.
She was torn from her thoughts by the sound of the auditorium doors opening. She immediately flashed back to yesterday and the sudden reappearance of her mother in her life. She noticed that all of her friends turned to the doors to pay attention. Clearly none of them wanted a repeat of the Shelby showdown. Once again they were all confused. Because that was clearly not Shelby but it was someone else who didn't belong.
One of their candidates was currently making his way down the aisle towards the stage area where the members of the glee club were sprawled in various positions. Rachel's brow furrowed as she tried to place the face with a name. It was something with an H….
"Dude, um, auditions are over," Finn pointed out. "If you're in then you'll find your name posted outside the choir room."
The kid smirked. "I don't think I will. I actually came to tell you that I've accepted a better position with a more superior choir group."
"Finally!" Brittany exclaimed, sitting up straight and clapping her hands together. "I was getting bored. Can we just skip over the part where you dramatically reveal that you're actually a spy for the Warblers? Because we already know."
This seemed to take their apparent latest spy by surprise. Puck snorted. Because of course he knew too. Brittany knew therefore Puck would know. There had to be some sort of brain osmosis going on. Rachel was so going to figure out how it worked… one day.
"Congratulations, dude. You're officially a way more obvious spy than even Kurt. Things to take note of when attempting to blend in and spy on a school: you might not want to wear part of your kind of obnoxious and really obvious uniform anywhere near said school's campus."
"Also it helps if you actually enroll in the school," Jesse added, looking incredibly bored. "I looked up all the new students that auditioned. Your name wasn't on any of the list of incoming students and no one's heard of you before today. If you're going to spy, then commit to it."
"You, uh, looked me up?"
"We've had a problem with spies in the past," Jesse replied smoothly. Rachel stifled a laugh. "So who are you anyway? Besides a really terrible spy from Dalton with a mediocre singing voice and a face that screams future sex offender?"
"My name is Hunter Clarington. I'm the new lead of the Dalton Academy Warblers. I'm the one that's going to bring us to Nationals."
"Right," Tina drawled. "Not saying that I'm bored or anything, but I am, so is there a point to all of the dramatics?"
Hunter snapped his fingers and suddenly the stage was overrun with the familiar navy blue and red blazers of the Warblers. Rachel blinked. How long were they even back there? And seriously what was the point of this?
"Blaine, this is your last chance," Hunter warned. Oh, of course, that was the point. She glanced at her friend to see him watching the stage with a blank expression on his face. "Last year certain individuals let their… feelings get in the way and the Warblers lost the competition. But this year, we're going to win. I'm offering you an opportunity to join us again and be on the winning team. Or continue to slum it here and go down with the ship."
"Uh, yeah, I think I'll just go down with these guys then," Blaine shrugged. Rachel knew him well enough to know that the sight of his former friends threatening him kind of stung. But she could also tell when he was concerned about something. And judging from the frequent looks he threw in a certain Warbler's direction, she had an idea of who was on his mind. He shifted in his seat. "So Hunter, you're new. Honestly, I'm a little surprised. I thought the Warblers had a better ear to be honest."
"I was good enough for your little band of misfit freaks," Hunter countered.
"Yeah, you were good enough to audition," Santana retorted. "You were definitely not getting in. Like we want mediocre. We actually want to win Nationals this year. We don't need to recruit non talent that's only going to drag us down. Plus you make these creepy smirks when you sing and it really makes me want to punch you in the face."
Hunter flushed a brilliant and amusing shade of red before looking to his left. Rachel was slightly surprised that Sebastian hadn't made a comment yet. In the few short months they had known the apparently now former new lead of the Warblers, Rachel couldn't think of a single time Sebastian's mouth wasn't running. Whether he was telling them just how weird he found them all to be or the very explicit things he wanted to do to and with Blaine, Sebastian was always talking. Except now. That was… strange. Rachel rolled her eyes. She was not going to start speculating about the competition. Speculation led to interest. Interest led to concern. Concern led to stealing yet another Warbler. So no, she was not going to start… she glanced out the corner of her eye to see Puck and Brittany both tilting their heads to the side. Yep, they were totally going to end up adopting Sebastian. She could see it now. Oh well…
"You're quiet, Sebastian," Kurt observed aloud. "Don't tell me the way to get you to finally shut up is to promote someone else as lead? They finally realized you weren't good enough?"
Sebastian tensed but didn't say anything. And now Rachel was concerned. It was a widely accepted fact that Sebastian and Kurt did not get along and were likely never going to get along. The fact that they both wanted Blaine kept them from ever trying to find some sort of middle ground. The fact that Blaine was more likely to go out with Sebastian than Kurt was probably what caused Kurt's persistent and bitter hostility and ability to make a situation a thousand times more awkward. Like right now!
"How did you know we were having auditions anyway?" Sam chimed in, turning the conversation away from Sebastian. His eyes were flickering between Blaine and the still silent Warbler.
"Kurt's Facebook," Hunter replied with a shrug.
"Kurt's what?!" Jesse growled turning to glare at their soprano singer. "You're kidding me, right? You actually announced when we were having auditions on Facebook and your profile isn't set to private? I don't know which one of those is dumber! Oh wait, yes I do. That would be the one that actually pertains to me!"
Rachel cleared her throat pointedly. "Look, I get that you came here in some misguided attempt at intimidating us or making us feel insecure but I regret to inform you that your efforts were a bit lacking. All you've demonstrated is that your new lead is nowhere near as good as the one we took. You've sidelined your second best. And now we know that we make you nervous."
"In short because I'm not sure your steroid wrecked brain can grasp this one," Puck grinned. "You screwed up big time." He laughed. "You can go now."
"This isn't over," Hunter hissed. He snapped his fingers again and the rest of the Warblers filed out. He glared at them one last time before following his team out.
"Blaine?"
"Yeah, Tina."
"You do realize that without you the rest of the Warblers have apparently gone full on crazy, right?"
"Yeah, yeah, I know. But they're mostly harmless. I wouldn't worry about them."
But there was something in his tone that pretty much screamed that he was definitely worried about them. Or rather one in particular. Truth be told, she was a mildly concerned too. Sebastian never held back. So what happened to him? She grumbled before smacking Puck on the shoulder.
"What the hell, babe?" she gave him a dirty look before letting her gaze flicker to Blaine. Puck's lips quirked up at the corner. "Sorry, but that's totally happening."
"This is your fault," Rachel muttered, before giving into the embrace that he was offering. She had to admit... maybe having Sebastian be part of the club wouldn't be the worst thing that ever happened to them. Besides he was a much better fit than not catching the hint Kurt. Besides Seblaine sounded way more interesting than Klaine.
Blaine smiled softly as he stood outside the choir room watching as the hopefuls from yesterday checked the list for their names. He grinned as Joe Hart, a formerly home schooled kid, read his name with a quiet smile before slipping back into the crowd. Sugar Motta, a girl with more mouth and attitude than talent, was also in. She apparently was expecting this as she walked away already on the phone with her father demanding that he buy her more singing clothes. That was going to be interesting. And then came the two he was waiting for: Jake and Unique.
He wanted to be surprised that they were building a friendship already but he couldn't be. Not when he knew that Jake was very vocally (and occasionally physically) against bullying. Didn't surprise Blaine at all that Jake had latched onto Unique as a silent reminder that no harm was to come to her while he was around. It was adorable.
"We're in!" Jake cheered, earning a similar cheer from Unique. Blaine smiled brighter as the pair hugged in the middle of the hallway jumping up and down. Yeah, it was definitely adorable.
"What are you losers so happy about?" Kitty asked as she strolled past the still giddy pair. Blaine didn't try to hide the laugh that burst out as they once again yelled that they were all in New Directions before yanking her into a very awkward looking group hug. The fact that she let them and didn't make any effort to shake them of showed at there might be some hope for their little spy after all.
He shook his head fondly at the three freshmen before making his way to his locker. Or at least that was his intention but instead as he passed by the boys' bathroom, the door opened and a hand shot out hauling him bodily into the room. Instantly his mind flashed back to his first school and the night of the Fall Formal. His breath caught in his chest as he struggled against the urge to panic. No, he wasn't going to panic. He was not going to be a victim again.
"Um, Blaine?"
The confusion and sheepish guilt he heard in the all too familiar voice was enough to snap Blaine out of the haze he was in. He blinked as he finally recognized Puck standing on the other side of the empty boys' bathroom. Wait, empty….
"You asshole! What the hell did you do that for?!"
"You know that whole thing was significantly less traumatizing in my head," Puck said by way of apology. He rubbed the back of his neck, lips twisted downward. "I just needed to talk to you."
Blaine let out a slow, even breath. "Well, next time, bro, just send me a text. You text for less."
"I do not."
"Remember just last week when you sent me a text asking me to get you a drink from the vending machine that was right behind you?" Puck snorted.
"Yeah, I remember you didn't do it."
"Jesse told me to discourage lazy behavior. But anyway, my point is, dude, no more creepy pulling me into the bathroom, ok?"
"Got it," Puck nodded, finally moving closer. Blaine realized that the older teen was trying to give him space once he realized that Blaine was panicking.
"So what did you want to talk to me about anyway?"
"We have a serious problem."
"You mean with the Warblers?"
Puck paused. "Oh, uh, not right now. But you're right. We need to be concerned about them. Most of them are harmless. But that kid Hunter… he seems off. But that's not for this chapter."
"Ok, then," Blaine said, ignoring the part about chapters. Stupid friends breaking the fourth wall all the time. "Then is this about Shelby?"
"Actually, no. Wasn't talking about her either but thanks for reminding me just how screwed we are this year."
"You're very welcome," Blaine grinned. "So if not those then what?" Puck arched an eyebrow. "Oh, right, Sam."
"Yeah, Sam."
"And you seriously have no clue what he's up to?"
"None," Puck confirmed. "I went by his place last night and he wasn't there. His parents said he was out and he wouldn't be back until late."
"But they didn't say what he was doing?" Blaine chewed on his lip. That was concerning. "So what are we going to do?"
Puck started to reply when he abruptly cut himself off. "Hold that thought for a just a second." Blaine watched slightly confused as Puck opened the door, grabbed something just beyond the door and pulled both himself and his latest victims back into the room. The confusion faded as Blaine recognized an equally surprised yet amused Mike and Sam.
"How the hell are you doing that?" Blaine asked. Puck smirked and Blaine narrowed his eyes. One day he would get the older teen to answer the damn question. Because seriously how the hell did Puck and Brittany do these things?!
"Was there a point to this or do you just everyone thinking we're having some kind of orgy in here," Sam asked around a yawn.
"They don't think….." Puck trailed off, opening the door once again. He poked his head around the door but Blaine could make out enough of his face to see that he was disturbed by something just beyond the door. "Get your minds out of the gutter, people! You're nasty!"
"Um," Blaine frowned in Puck's direction before looking back to Sam. "Well, the point of all of this is that we're concerned about you."
Sam's brow furrowed. "You're concerned? About me? Why?" the end of the statement was muffled due to yet another massive yawn that threatened to overtake the blonde's whole body.
"That would be our concern. You're exhausted all the time. You're constantly missing in action and even when you're here, it's like you're a million miles away."
Sam ran a hand through his hair looking more exhausted with the effort. "I don't want you guys to be concerned about me. There's nothing to be concerned about, I promise."
"Then just tell us what's going on," Blaine pleaded.
"Are you a stripper?" Mike blurted out, earning looks from both Puck and Blaine. Sam appeared too surprised to comment. "Uh, it's just that, well, it's like Blaine said. You're always tired and you're never home when we do come looking for you. Not to mention you're super defensive and kind of evasive whenever we ask you about what's going on."
"Ninja Star makes an excellent point," Puck mused. "Dude, you know you're still our boy even if you are a stripper. Except if you don't make any tips. Then that's just sad and a waste of talent."
"I'm not a stripper!" Sam snapped. "Look, I know that things are looking really unusual but I'm fine, guys. I promise. Hopefully I can tell you what's actually happening soon, but for now I'm ok. And I'm definitely not a stripper. That's not even realistic. Who's hiring a sixteen year old to be a stripper?"
Blaine let out a slow breath. He heard Mike do the same before they both looked to Puck. It wasn't just that Puck was the leader in this eclectic family unit they managed to build. It was also that he and Sam were, at this point, more than just best friends. The pair was more like brothers now. And Blaine knew that Sam's constant disappearing act was hurting Puck more than he let on. So Puck had the final word on whether they let this one go today or not. They found Puck staring at Sam with an assessing look in his eye.
"Fine," Puck finally said, letting out a slow breath. "I guess we just have to trust you. And I do… trust you. You're my best friend. But if…."
"If something was wrong, trust me, you would be the first person I would tell, ok? This best friend thing works both ways," Sam said firmly with a smile. Puck nodded slowly and returned the smile.
"Now that we've resolved Sam's issues in a not at all kind of way," Blaine started, ignoring the dirty look Sam threw his way. "I do have something that I've been meaning to talk to you guys about. It's, uh, about Sebastian."
The other teens tensed but no one immediately protested the topic encouraging Blaine to power through. "It's just that, I think that, something might be going on with him. He was acting kind off yesterday. Like something wasn't quite right with him."
"You mean he wasn't hitting on you or insulting the collective intelligence or socioeconomic levels of the glee club?"
"Yeah, that," Blaine flushed. Saying it out loud seemed really stupid. Sebastian wasn't their friend. Hell, he was barely Blaine's friend. They had a few classes together prior to Blaine transferring from Dalton. They barely talked in the Warblers. But still… something in Blaine cared about the sarcastic, bordering on asshole Warblers.
"Look, if you're worried about him, then we are too," Puck started, shrugging a little. "He was looking a little wrong last time he was here."
"He didn't even argue with Kurt," Mike chimed in. "It doesn't usually take much. Like all Kurt really has to do is breathe and they're arguing. It's kind of funny actually."
"Blaine, you have pretty good instincts," Sam said, leaning back against a locker. "If you think something is wrong, then there is probably something wrong. Just follow your instincts and we'll be there to back you up as always.´
Blaine grinned, feeling warmed by the confidence and trust that his friends were placing in him. They had no reason to trust (read like) Sebastian but they trusted Blaine and that was apparently enough for them. That felt really nice. So of course the warm fuzzy moment was ruined by….
"Seriously, none of you losers are even going to acknowledge that this could be a trap?"
"Oh my god!" Sam yelled at the sudden appearance of Jesse. Puck narrowed his eyes like he was trying to figure out where the older teen came from. Well that or he was trying to figure out how Jesse just out managed to out stealth him. He was such a weirdo sometimes.
"I'm not saying that it's not a trap," Blaine countered, seeing that Jesse was still waiting for an answer. "I'm just saying that something feels off. That's all."
Jesse was silent for several long moments, his mouth twisted briefly before he sighed. "Just watch your back, ok? This could be a trick."
"That's funny coming from you."
"That's intelligent coming from me," Jesse retorted. "It's totally something I would do. So just be careful. I am not trying to pick up the pieces of your broken ego."
"Thanks, Jesse. I know that came from a place of caring."
"I really, really hate you guys."
"No, you really, really don't," Sam, Puck, Mike and Blaine said together. Jesse rolled his eyes.
Blaine drummed his fingers on the table as he fought the urge to check the time again. Sebastian was officially ten minutes late. He was starting to think the Warbler wasn't planning on showing up. Or maybe he came and left due to the not at all discrete Kurt, Santana, Mike, Rachel, Tina, Artie and Brittany that were parked across the room at a not built for that number of people table blatantly spying on Blaine. He wanted to be touched by their obvious concern. But mostly he was annoyed with them for showing up in the first place. Especially since he promised Sebastian he was going to leave them all behind. Not that it mattered, since Sebastian didn't seem like he was going to….
"You're here?" Blaine blurted out in surprise as Sebastian sank into the seat opposite him. Sebastian gave him a look complete with an arched eyebrow. A false smirk formed on his lips as he let his eyes roam over Blaine lecherously.
"You're a confusing one, Blaine Anderson. You invite me out on the town but then are surprised that I showed up. Have you looked in a mirror lately? Who could resist that face?"
Blaine found himself raising an eyebrow as well. "That's really the best you got?" Sebastian's smirk fell. Blaine pushed over a cup of coffee that he was assured was the way Sebastian liked it. "So you want to tell me what's really going on or do we have to bullshit around for a few more hours?"
Sebastian laughed quietly, a ghost of a smile forming on his lips. "You know, being around those New Directions losers seems to be making you more sarcastic."
"More like it's bringing out the sarcasm," Blaine corrected with a grin. "So really, tell me, what's going on with you." Sebastian was quiet for a moment. Blaine watched as he tried to deal with the various emotions that were flitting through his eyes in the moment. His hand was tracing some pattern on the table idly. Finally he looked up to meet Blaine's waiting gaze.
"Why do you even care?"
"Another side effect of those New Directions losers," Blaine shrugged. "They make me really nosey and all up in other people's business. Funny little thing called caring. Those weirdoes."
Sebastian snorted. His fingers were still tracing an invisible pattern on the table. But Blaine was patient. He knew Sebastian would talk. Whatever was bothering the Warbler was big and he clearly needed someone to confide in Blaine could be that for him. And he was willing to sit there for as long as it took. Out the corner of his eye he saw Kurt rising to his feet. He saw Santana yank him back down in the next moment. A few more minutes passed before Sebastian let out a deep, world weary sigh.
"This summer I met a guy, Justin. We, you know, hung out and stuff for a couple of months. It was fun but then I got bored. So I dumped him… through a text message." Sebastian looked up, his eyes meeting Blaine's as if he were searching for some sort of condemnation. But there was none to be found, so he continued. "So anyway, he confronted me about it. He said that I was his first open relationship. He kept asking if any of it meant anything to me… if he meant anything to me. He was really upset and I just laughed. I told him to man up. He, uh, he went home… and he took a bunch of his mother's medication."
"Oh, shit," Blaine cursed softly. Sebastian laughed humorlessly. "Is he, uh, is he?"
"Yeah and it's my fault. So you wanted to know what was wrong with me. That's it. I killed a guy this summer."
"No, you didn't," Blaine countered, reaching across the table for Sebastian's hand.
"Did you not hear what I just said? He was upset with me and he took the pills. In what world is that not my fault? And why do you even care? You got what you wanted out of me. So why are you still here?" Sebastian asked. Blaine could see the walls the other teen was building to keep him out. But not today, especially not after a story like that one. "I purposely hurt him and didn't care about it or him. That's the kind of person I am. I did it because it was fun. And now he's… "
"Listen, Seb, I'm not going to lie. You're kind of an asshole. You're mean and rude and overall not the nicest person I've ever met. But that being said you did not kill him. He chose that route. He was obviously depressed and going through stuff. You can't be held accountable for his choice. I assume that this was not your first time doing… uh, that to other guys?"
"No, it wasn't," Sebastian replied quietly.
"And none of them have killed themselves, correct?" Sebastian nodded. "So clearly Justin was going through issues of his own outside of you. Did you do a terrible thing? Yes, but are you the sole reason he chose to take his own life? No. But if you were, then he was more troubled than we thought. This is not your fault. You did not kill him." Sebastian looked down in a futile effort at hiding his tear filled eyes.
Blaine was out of his seat and beside Sebastian before he even realized he was moving. He pulled the taller teen into a really awkward hug, letting him rest his head on Blaine's shoulder. Blaine didn't say that it was going to be ok. He simply held onto him and allowed Sebastian let it all out. After a few minutes, he heard Sebastian let out a watery laugh.
"What's so funny?"
"You do know that most of your friends are watching us, right?"
Blaine glanced over his shoulder at the table his band of friends claimed as their own. They must've realized that Blaine wasn't in any immediate danger as they all ducked behind chairs, people and menus when they saw Blaine was looking. Well all of them except Brittany. She was still watching with something akin to approval in her eyes. He shook his head.
"Yeah, sorry about that. They're kind of bizarre and socially awkward." Sebastian laughed again, sounding a little bit stronger even as he sat back. He nodded in gratitude as Blaine handed him a napkin. "We can go somewhere else, if you want. I can't guarantee that they won't follow me but…."
"It's ok," Sebastian assured him. "I get it. They care. Must be nice."
"What, a stud like you doesn't have the boys tossing their Calvin Klein's at him?"
Sebastian snorted. "I think it's pretty obvious that hookups are not I find myself lacking. But friends…. that on the other hand…."
"What about the Warblers?"
"Please, they love you. You're all they ever talk about. Ever. I could never match up to you, the Great Blaine Anderson. Then this year they decided that Hunter should be the lead. In case you missed the memo, he's kind of scary and all the others listen to him blindly because they're terrified of him. On top of all that Hunter hates me. Thinks that I screwed up and 'let you go' to New Directions and didn't deserve to be lead anymore. So yeah, not exactly overflowing with friends over here."
"You got me."
Sebastian gave him a skeptical look. "You offering to be my boyfriend, Anderson?"
"Hardly, Smythe," Blaine shot back with a grin. "I'm a boy and I'm a friend. But that's all."
"One of these days," Sebastian smiled, and Blaine noted it was a lot lighter than before. "One of these days, I'm going to wear you down."
"That is like the opposite of sexy, by the way," Blaine pointed out. Sebastian laughed and the sound of it made Blaine feel warm on the inside. He sounded happy in a way that Blaine couldn't remember the other boy ever sounding. It was nice.
"So, friend," Sebastian drawled, leaning back in his seat. Aside from the slightly red eyes, there was no sign of his earlier breakdown. "How does this friend thing work exactly? Like what are we supposed to do? And is naked snuggling involved?"
"We talk," Blaine replied, smoothly elbowing him in the stomach and pointedly ignoring the comment. "We hang out and then we talk some more."
"What the hell could we possibly talk about that much?"
"Anything really. But for starters, what do you want to do when we graduate next year? Travel? Conquer the world?"
"You know, world domination does sound like a lot of fun. I'll make a mental note to explore that one further. But before I do that, I actually want to go to college."
"Interesting. For what?"
"Chemistry and criminal justice." Blaine blinked prompting Sebastian to laugh. "Yeah, most people don't really expect that from me. I want to be a forensic scientist. My dad is the District Attorney and I see how important forensic evidence is to a case. It can make or break someone's entire defense. And I've always wanted to do something like that."
"Well, now I feel really shallow," Blaine mock pouted. "I want to go into acting."
"Make sense. It would be a crime to deprive the world of that gorgeous face."
Blaine flushed even as he felt the anxiety and concern that had been building since the other day finally recede. Sebastian was back on track. Justin's death would probably haunt him for a really long time but at least he knew he had Blaine to fall back on now. He glanced back at his friends who were once again scrambling to hide and laughed to himself. Sebastian had Blaine and Blaine had all of them. Still, he kind of wondered where Puck and Quinn were. To say that their usual partners in crime were here and they were not was odd. But probably nothing to wonder about.
Puck wiped his hands on his jeans as he and Quinn hovered nervously outside the music room. They knew the others were following Blaine on his not a date with Sebastian and that would give them plenty of time to do this. It wasn't that they were hiding it. But…. this was something that they needed to do and they needed to do it together.
"It's going to be ok," Quinn said, dragging him out of his thoughts. She gave him a warm smile. "There's no way she's going to shoot this down, Puckerman. She was the one who offered me an opportunity to see Beth in the beginning."
"Yeah, she offered you," Puck stressed. "Not me, just you."
Quinn chewed on her lip and started to say something more when the door to the room opened. Shelby stepped back once she noticed the two nervous students waiting for her just outside the door. She blinked once she recognized who they were. A smile spread across her face but Puck didn't miss the dark look that crossed her features before she plastered on the smile.
"Quinn, Noah," she beamed. "What can I do for you?"
"Well," Quinn started, practically bouncing on her toes. "Puck and I were just saying how completely happy we are that you're back in town and even happier that you're going to be around school. Also if there is anything we can help you with, we'd be really happy to do so. Anything, really, like mowing your lawn, clean your pool, babysitting….."
Shelby laughed softly. "Quinn, the offer still stands. If you want to see Beth, that's fine. You're her mother too. I would never deny you or her that."
Quinn squealed. "Oh my god, thank you Shelby… I mean Ms. Corcoran."
"Call me Shelby. We are family after all," the woman smiled again. She really did look a lot like Rachel. Puck wondered if Beth looked that much like Quinn or did she look like him even a little. "Why don't you come by my place on Saturday? We could have a lunch with just us girls."
"Actually, Quinn hesitated, her eyes flickering towards Puck. "I was hoping it could be just the four of us."
Shelby tensed. "Oh, is that so?"
"Yes," Puck whispered. He scratched the back of his neck nervously. "I just… I need, I really want to meet her."
Shelby didn't reply. She just stared at him with Rachel's eyes but none of the Rachel's warmth or love. He fidgeted under her gaze. It was like she was looking right through him. Judging from the tilt to her lips, she wasn't a fan of what she saw there. She wasn't the only one. He often felt that way about himself.
"Noah, I have some equipment I need to take home tonight. Do you think you could help me? We could talk more about you spending time with Beth."
Quinn shook her head slightly. "I can help too."
"That's ok, sweetheart. I'll see you on Saturday."
He watched as Quinn started to protest. He didn't want her to ruin her chances. At least Beth would get to know one of her biological parents. He put a hand on her shoulder. "It's cool, Q. I'll see you tomorrow, ok? But first do me a favor and swing by the Coffee Bean and make sure they're not freaking Sebastian out too much."
Quinn grinned softly. "You mean make sure Kurt isn't starting with Sebastian and/or declaring his undying love for Blaine in public, again."
"Basically," Puck laughed. She gave him a look before kissing him on the cheek.
"Don't work too hard. I'm pretty sure you promised some face time to your other half. And we all know how Rachel gets when she doesn't get her fix of you." Puck smiled softly and nodded. Quinn appeared satisfied with this response. She muttered a quick farewell to Shelby before taking off down the hall. Puck made sure he heard the front door closing before turning back to Shelby.
"So you're dating Rachel?"
Puck swallowed at the overall change in demeanor of the woman. The cheery, almost warm, materialistic tone she used for Quinn as gone. Instead she sounded cold, bordering on angry. He nodded his head slowly. "We've been dating for almost a year. Actually it'll be a year in January."
"Oh, I thought she was dating Finn."
"They broke up."
Shelby gave him a look. "And I suppose you had nothing do with that, right?"
"Not exactly," Puck replied, nervously. "Well not intentionally. They were already sort of broken up before she kissed me. But they're friends now."
"Hmm," Shelby murmured, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed over her chest. "I'm going to be frank with you, Noah. I don't really approve of you dating my daughter. She's too good for you. She needs someone that's going to push her. And I don't really think that's going to be you. You're only going to hold her back."
Her words felt like a physical blow straight to his heart. His chest stung under the force of the words and the feelings behind them. He swallowed the lump forming in his throat and tried to ignore the buried insecurities threatening to emerge in that moment.
"I… I love Rachel. I want her to do… everything she has ever dreamed about and then some. I would never hold her back. I really love your daughter. And I'm just asking you for a chance to get to know mine too."
"No."
Puck felt the stinging in his eyes grow. "But… you let Quinn…."
"Because when I see Quinn, I see a girl with potential that was lost before she even had a chance to explore it. I see the girl that my daughter could become. You ruined Quinn. Who knows what she could've been before you but now she'll always have this feeling of regret in her heart. She'll always be a mother without a child. That's a loss that she should never have to experience, especially at her age."
Puck let out a shaky breath. "So that's it? I don't get to see Beth?"
Shelby exhaled slowly. "As unfortunate as the circumstances might be, you are Beth's father. I won't keep you from her. But there is one thing you need to do first."
"Anything," Puck blurted out, feeling the first stirrings of hope since this confrontation started.
"Breakup with Rachel."
"What?" Puck asked quietly.
"I know I've made my fair share of mistakes with Rachel but I'm trying. I want to be the mother she deserves and I'm going to do that by helping her achieve her dreams. I'm not going to let her throw away her life or her dreams on you. I want the best for my daughter and you're not it. So if you want to see Beth, I won't stop you. But you need to let Rachel go."
Puck put a hand over his chest. "Shelby, please….."
Shelby shook her head. "No negotiations. Everyone knows your father, Noah. He was a born manipulator and a con artist. He ruined the lives of two separate women and saddled them with kids he was never going to support. He was a loser and I'm not going to let Rachel be the one to find out that the apple doesn't fall from the tree."
"I would never hurt her," Puck countered. "I love her!"
"Then let her go," Shelby retorted, sharply. "Just think about it. It's Beth or Rachel. You have until tomorrow afternoon to tell me your decision."
With that said, Shelby pushed past him, making her way towards the front door. He remained frozen in that spot even as he heard the clicking of her heels fade away, followed by the sounds of the heavy front door opening and closing. The solid thump of the door brought a sense of reality back to him. He was really being asked to choose between his daughter and the girl he loved more than life itself. The girl that gave him a reason to wake up. He felt his knees go week. He didn't try to stop himself. He slumped down to the floor and brought his legs up to his chest.
If he chose to stay with Rachel, he would lose the chance to get to know his daughter. And she would always resent him. She would know that he willingly gave up on them ever having a relationship. But if he gave up on Rachel…. he would be giving up everything. There's no way he could stay in New Directions without Rachel. He would lose his friends… his family…. but he would have his daughter. How the hell was he supposed to choose? He felt his breaths coming in shorter bursts.
He wasn't aware of his silent observer until he felt someone sit beside him on the cold, cheap linoleum tiling. A warm hand rested on the back of his neck, pulling him slightly closer. Puck let out a choked sob, leaning further into the familiar warmth.
"I don't know what I'm supposed to do. It's not fair."
"No, it's really not."
*The end for now! So yeah, I made Shelby the bad guy… for the chapter. Trust me. There is a motive to Shelby's actions. Hopefully. I don't know I might just keep her as the bad guy for the story. Who knows? Well, let me know what you all think. This was a dark chapter. I promise we'll be back to the fun soon. Again, hopefully. Still have to resolve all of this.