Chapter 15: Blue Sun Rises
Location: Urbania Lookout Watch
"Guess who just scored a new beam weapon and got a new Sponsorship!" Travis cheered as he, Jack, Eddie, the Overlord, and Dane exited the elevator to the command room of Lookout Watch, twirling Deal Breaker in his hand. Magnus and Gnarl were simply standing on the side, Sylvia and Murphy were chatting about something, and Cinder… was pounding his head on the table. "We come back in a bad time?"
"Very bad." Sylvia said, watching Cinder continue to slam his head down. "About an hour ago, Cinder received word from one of his contacts where the location of our next target is: the Blue Suns."
"That space gang from that Universe with the Mass Relays?" Travis remarked, recalling fighting such a group earlier today. "They're pretty tough, but we can take 'em easy." He flinched as Cinder smashed his head again. "So what's the bad part?"
"His contact was kidnapped by the Blue Suns." Gnarl said, hobbling towards the table. "He was amidst sending us the information before he was abruptly silenced." The old minion snatched a document from the table and handed it to Jack. "He transmitted his last known location to us just before going dark." Jack examined the document, reading off a list of partially incomplete coordinates, but the general area seemed a little familiar.
"Blue Suns are based out in the IDA's Storage Facilities, eh?" Jack said, folding the paper. "Well, we can go and take out the Suns, but I don't really see the point of getting this contact." Cinder's head shot up, his forehead sore and bloody from the constant bashing.
"Our contact knows the identity of the Urbania Champion." Cinder growled, silencing everyone in the room. "And knowing the identity of ANY of the Zone Champions is extremely difficult due to them being so powerful and secretive." He stood up and paced about the table. "My contact risked life and limb to get that information, and I'll be DAMNED," He slammed his hand on the table. "If I let the Blue Suns get the identity. So you guys," Cinder pointed at the four heavily armed men. "With a small contingency of Minions and Fiends, are going to go to the Storage Facilities and get my contact's information, while Vogul and I draw up a Sponsorship Deal." He eyed Vogul for a moment. "We're still on for that, right?"
"They beat the Challenge and took out a Blight Sibling," Dane casually remarked, shrugging his shoulders. "I might as well. Sure, the Saints will have my dick in a sling, but honestly, who gives a crap at this point?" Dane walked up to the table as Cinder produced a pen and paper, the fiery haired man shooting the Heart of Steel an annoyed look.
"What are you waiting for," Cinder barked. "A hand written invitation from the King of Town or something? Move your asses!" The four men grumbled, piling back into the elevator and traveling down to the garage. Luckily, Magnus had fixed up their vehicles, and the Saints were kind enough to spare a few rides, so everything was set to go. As soon as the Heart of Steel entered the garage, they found a group of Brown Minions and a bunch of Fiends cheering on a knife fight.
"Break it up." Eddie shouted, waving his arms and gaining the attention of the others. The two Fiends stopped their knife fighting and the crowd parted, with Giblet and Mitch standing tall (or in Giblet's case, hunched over) and proud before their de facto leaders.
"I've got about ten men I can spare for this little raid." Mitch said, idly tossing a stick of dynamite. "They'll do whatever you tell 'em, but you gotta be firm." The explosives maniac leaned over to Eddie and whispered in his ear. "Aside from myself and Joe, the Fiends are not the sharpest teeth on a Yao Guai, if you catch my drift." Before any of the four men could ask what the hell a Yao Guai was, Mitch casually waved and turned about.
"You're not coming with us?" Eddie asked as Mitch started walking off. "We saw that shit you did at the Main Road, you've got sick moves!"
"I'd love to, guys," Mitch said, sitting down on a stack of tires. "But I need to keep the other Fiends in line before they do something stupid. You'll be fine on your own." Giblet waddled to the Overlord and rapped his knuckles against his own helmet.
"Giblet has fifteen Browns for Masta." Giblet proudly proclaimed, pointing to a group of Browns standing about, playing with their weapons. "Masta can bring Browns to fight space men, Giblet and Gnarl keep watch over Hive for Masta." The smithy minion started hopping in place, a wide smile on his ugly face. "Did Giblet do good, Masta?" The Overlord leaned down to his minion, his red eyes bearing down into Giblet's own yellow bulbs, and gave him a rough pat on the head.
"I shall collect more Brown Essence to expand my numbers." The Overlord boomed.
"You switched into 'evil voice' again." Travis piqued up. All that got him was Giblet bashing him in the knee with his hammer. "Son of a bitch!" Before Travis could swear revenge, the roar of Jack's motorcycle drew everyone's attention, the DeathWatcher revving his bike and slipping his goggles on.
"Alright, saddle up, ladies." Jack shouted. "We've got only a few hours before those Blue Sun bastards beat us to the punch and snag the identity of the Zone Champ." Travis quickly bolted to the Schpeltiger and brought the beast to life. "The Storage Area is just beyond the Main Road, and the Blue Suns might be waiting for us, so we'll have to expect some jackass resistance." Eddie hopped into the driver seat of the Druid Plow, with the Overlord riding shotgun, giving the car horn a quick honk. "These guys might be more organized than our last opponents, but all the more reason to kick their asses!" All around the garage, Fiends and Minions were loading up on rugged jeeps and trucks, handling heavy guns and basic firearms. The engines bellowed a ferocious battle cry, ready to take the road. "Heart of Steel, MOVE OUT!" The Harley, Schpeltiger, and Druid Plow drove out the garage door, six cars in tow, taking to the road and readying for battle.
Location: Urbania Main Road
The drive so far had been fairly calm, no random attacks or obstacles getting in the way, the wreckage of the Flying Cocoon and the Moonlight Butterfly completely absent, and absolutely nothing causing any problems. That was not a good sign.
(Slick: We have an amazing cleaning crew, don't we?)
(Rick: They even cleaned up the destroyed buildings and debris from earlier. Almost like it was… magic?)
(Slick: Is are cleaning crew magic? I mean, I don't know how Meeseeks work, but… Ah, it's not important.)
"Maybe there's something we're missing?" Eddie remarked, fiddling with his radio. The Roadie swapped between a few stations in hopes of finding something (or at least a good metal channel to lighten the mood).
"I doubt it," Travis said, relaxing in his seat. "The Saints already took hold of the Monarch's bases, and the Blue Suns are probably still at their base, so it's smooth sailing for us."
"Those are just the factions, though." Eddie pointed out. "Don't forget, they still have Solo Fighters all over the place." He rested a hand on the side of his car. "Just weird we haven't seen any yet."
"Probably busy taking each other out." Jack said, chewing on a cigarette. "Those guys are insanely powerful, makes sense they'd take out the actual threats." He turned to the rest of the convoy and shouted directions. "Left here!" The group complied, rounding the corner and almost immediately breaking to a halt. The instant the Heart of Steel turned the corner, they were met with an insane sight: complete destruction. Gigantic craters marked the street and buildings, pavement was cracked, cars were overturned, clean holes were burned through solid steel, and hundreds of bodies littered the road. It was a massacre, plain and simple.
(Rick: Looks like the cleaning crew missed a spot.)
(Slick: Never rely on a Meeseeks to get stuff done, even if it is their sole purpose in life to get stuff done.)
"What the hell did all of this?" Eddie remarked, observing the damage. Jack examined the area, and spotted a single survivor: a Saint in a purple jacket, bleeding heavily. The DeathWatcher drove up to him and saw that his arm was completely torn off.
"Who did this?" Jack asked, holding the dying man up.
"*cough* F…f… Five men…." The Saint sputtered, a dribble of blood running down the side of his cheek. "Powerful… dangerous… They were *cough* fighting each other… We just… Got too close…." Suddenly, a powerful explosion rocked the area, startling everyone in the vicinity. "They're back…" The Saint grabbed Jack by the collar, bringing him close and whispering coarsely. "Get out of here, NOW!" With his last warning, the Saint died, collapsing on the ground as blood pooled around him. More explosions sounded, getting closer and closer with each passing moment.
"What the fuck is going on?!" Travis shouted, trying to keep balance on his bike. Jack looked off down the end of the road, where he could see the distinct outline of something coming this way: A really big armored man on a bigger horse with some kind of four-pronged halberd. "Is that who I think it is?" Only one way to be sure, Eddie pulled out a pair of binoculars from his glove compartment and peered at the oncoming man. The Roadie's heart stopped when he saw that on the figure's head was a black beetle helmet with long twin red feathers flowing in the breeze. And the horse was bright red and might be on fire. And he just knocked a car over with a single swing of his insane weapon with the strength of twenty buff men.
(Recommended… No, absolutely NECESSARY music: Lu Bu's Theme from Dynasty Warriors 8)
"Oh, fuck me," Eddie exclaimed, revving his engines. "It's…"
Lu Bu
"Prepare to face destruction, VERMIN!"
(Rick: And here we have a prime specimen of one of the IDA's strongest Solo Agents. Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce you to the legendary 'God of War' Lu Bu.)
(Slick: I thought that Kratos guy was the 'God of War'?)
(Rick: Different universe, different culture, genius. According to history, Lu Bu was an infamous warlord that slew thousands of men a day. The one you're seeing right here is one of the Dynasty Warriors, a variety of historical figures from the Era of the Three Kingdoms that have superhuman strength and powers.)
(Slick: Some can move fast enough to run on arrows, some can summon lightening, this one guy could use floating swords, they all have insane powers! And Lu Bu is the strongest of them all. He once took on an entire invasion force by himself with nothing but a bundle of spears!)
(Rick: Kebabs have never been more revolting.)
(Slick: And by the looks of it, Lu Bu is absolutely pissed about something. If getting on Bruce Banner's bad side has taught me anything: it's NEVER PISS OFF THE GUY WHO CAN PUNCH YOU SO HARD IT COULD EXPLODE YOU!)
Jack immediately bolted back to his bike and rejoined the rest of the group, all bearing looks of worry and fear on their faces. "We need to move, NOW!" Jack shouted.
"You don't have to tell me twice!" Travis yelped, turning his bike around.
"What's all the panic over?" The Overlord boomed, cracking his knuckles. "It's just one man."
"One man who once kicked a man so hard his torso exploded just because he annoyed him is something worth panicking about." Eddie said, shifting gear into reverse. "And if he's coming this way, there's no telling what's tailing him." The cars vehicles immediately turned around, despite the Overlord's protests, and drove back down the road. Jack and Travis sped ahead of the larger vehicles, more and more explosions erupting across the area. The thunderous hoof-falls of Lu Bu's red steed drew ever nearer, and the Heart of Steel was quickly running out of road. "We gotta ditch him!"
"No shit, Eddie!" Jack shouted, scanning the road for any turns. Just as they reached the Main Road proper, a new problem presented itself as the building in front of them burst from the top, introducing a new fighter. It was a large, muscular man, with a body like red rocks, six metal arms, ash-white hair and burning white eyes. He seemed even more furious than Lu Bu! "Another one?!" The wind rushed behind them as Lu Bu and his red horse suddenly shot in front of them, bellowing a mighty war cry.
"COME AND FACE ME, ASURA!" Lu Bu roared, twirling his halberd with a single hand. The six-armed man leapt from the building, roaring loudly as a wrathful red aura consumed him and plummeted towards Lu Bu. The instant the two were in close range of each other, Lu Bu intercepted Asura's six metal fists with his weapon, the impact of the clash so strong it sent a minor quake throughout the area, causing a few of the Heart of Steel's vehicles to swerve and lose control. Two cars were forcibly crashed by the impact, while the others were trying to get away from the two fighting.
"Great, now that Asura guy's here!" Travis yelped, slamming on his breaks. "That guy is wrath incarnate! I heard he was involved in a battle where he punched the planet in the face!"
"How is that even humanly poss-?" Eddie interjected, pulling back as well.
"In the FACE, EDDIE!" Travis reiterated, watching the two still fighting on horseback. The group had finally managed to get a sizeable distance from the two duking it out, but still needed to get back on track. "Alright, let's turn these tin cans around and get back to…" His thoughts were interrupted when a pair of skinny arms shot past him and Jack, stretching like rubber, and snagged onto Lu Bu's horse. Suddenly, a skinny looking young man wearing a sleeveless red shirt, blue shorts, a straw hat, sporting the most manic grin of all time, landed on the hood of the Druid Plow.
"Sorry, I need to get some foothold." The young man said, his arms stretched to ridiculous distances.
"Hi Luffy!" Travis absent-mindedly said, while Jack shot him a dirty look. "What? He's my next door neighbor, give or take a few complexes."
(Rick: Why is Captain Luffy out here? I heard the rest of the Straw Hat Pirates were in the Forest area of the Tournament.)
(Slick: Oh, the simple explanation is who gives a crap? Rubber-man versus the black death and wrath incarnate is AWESOME!)
"Gum Gum…" The boy said, making sure his grip on the horse was perfect. "SLINGSHOT!" He tugged his arms backwards, and the red horse, along with Lu Bu and his opponent, were flung towards the oncoming vehicles.
"NOT GOOD!" Eddie exclaimed, slamming on his breaks while the Overlord clenched the sides of his seat. The three men found themselves tangled up in an epic brawl as they flew into the air, overshooting the convoy, but accidentally knocked another vehicle out of the way, sending it crashing into a fire hydrant. The Fiends and Minions inside that vehicle quickly clambered out of the car before it caught fire.
"We're okay!" A Fiend shouted. Then the car exploded, sending the Fiends and Minions flying. "We're still okay!" The remaining vehicles once against started back down the road, driving further and further away from the ensuing brawl. Soon enough, the three fighting were just specks in the distance, allowing everyone else to breathe a sigh of relief.
"That was TOO close." Travis said, leaning back on his bike. While the rest of the team felt relaxed, Jack felt something was still off.
"That guy said there were five people who started a Battle Royale…" Jack recounted. "And there were only three… Where are the other…?" A massive gust of wind blew across the road, nearly knocking everyone down from the unusually strong gale. As soon as the winds died down, Travis shot Jack a really angry look.
"And you tell me to shut my big mouth." Travis growled. The winds picked up again, as another foe appeared down the road, a pale-skinned man with pointed ears, red eyes, and silver hair, wearing purple robes and a long purple hat, floating about in the air tossing gusts of wind at a fast-moving red blur that zigzagged back and forth, dodging every blast.
"For Din's sake," The purple-garbed man said, his tone sounding incredibly close to anger. "Just stay still and let my winds RIP YOU TO SHREDS!" The blur stopped moving for a moment, revealing it to be a human man in a skin-tight red outfit, a golden lightning bolt on his chest and smaller ones on the side of his head. He blew a raspberry at the sorcerer and continued running back and forth.
"I think that's Vaati the Wind Mage blowing wind up there!" The Overlord shouted over the roaring wind. "He serves under another one of the Assembly Leaders! His mastery over the winds is unrivaled!"
"Looks like he's tangoing with the Flash," Eddie added. "One of the Justice League heroes! I raced against him one time at the Gamma Storm Grand Prix, that guy can BOLT!" Another gale of wind blew past them, strong enough to shatter the windshield of one of the cars, startling the driver and forcing the vehicle off the road again.
"We gotta get around them if we're going to find the Blue Suns," Jack shouted. "But with that guy constantly zipping out of the way and those gusts fucking up our cars, we don't have a clear shot!" The Overlord's red eyes widened at Jack's choice of words, immediately looking at the Druid Plow's dashboard. Hammering his armored fist on a button, a pair of over-sized cylinders popped out of the hood, tipped with red cones.
"Leave the shooting to me…" The Overlord maliciously growled, hand raised right over the firing button. Eddie was tempted to call the Overlord off, worried he'd hit Flash or piss-off Vaati, but knowing his passenger, it would be for the best to let the big guy do what he wants. Giving a nod of confirmation, the Overlord wasted no time in pressing the button, launching a pair of rockets from the car directly at the fight ahead. The whooshing of the missiles was loud enough to let Vaati and the Flash know that they were coming, the two diving out of the way while the rest of the cars managed to make it across the road, finally away from the crazy conflict.
"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE AIMING!" Vaati yelled, shaking a fist. Before the Wind Mage could cast a spell in retaliation, Flash leapt up and punched the purple-garbed man dead in the face, knocking him out cold. Eddie turned around and saw Flash giving them a thumbs up off in the distance.
"Good work on that quick thinking, big guy." Eddie said to the Overlord. The dark armored man simply folded his arms and pouted.
"I was hoping I would hit both of them." The Overlord grumbled. "Better yet, with that lightning rod weapon from before." Eddie chuckled, returning his sight to the road. Jack did a quick headcount on their numbers, they lost four vehicles, but still had enough to deal with the impending Blue Sun battle. Revving his tires, Jack put the pedal to the metal, tearing down the road with the Schpeltiger, Druid Plow, and their escorts trailing smoke.
"Next stop," Jack said, a smirk worming onto his lips. "IDA Storage Facilities, the Blue Suns, and a whole lotta ass-kicking."
Author's Note: Wow, this took a while. The staff was doing a lot of back and forth on who would participate in the first Battle Royale scene, mostly for purposes of showing what kind of people the IDA has in its ranks. Anywho, for those of you unaware: Lu Bu is an actual historical figure, this iteration from the Dynasty Warriors franchise. Asura is from Asura's Wrath, Luffy is from One Piece, Vaati the Wind Mage is from the Legend of Zelda games, and the Flash is a DC Universe superhero. Tune in next time for the battle against the infamous Blue Suns and the reveal of the Urbania Champion's idenitity. Until then, keep your eyes peeled for other updates along the way, and have fun!
~IDA Official, Head Writer Mask