Growing Up
Reality banged hard against Lucas' sleepy head in the form of a jumpy Peyton standing beside his bed. "We made up last night, everything is okay!" She yelled in his ear before she went further with her dancing around in the room in one of Pete's hoodies. If Lucas wasn't so sleepy and meaner as he was, he would have made her the comment: Yeah, I know, I heard.
But since he wasn't a mean boy and sleep was still trying to embrace him again so he left his mouth shut while Peyton kept repeating some of her old cheerleading moves.
"He forgave me and said he overreacted and …" Lucas interrupted. "Did you tell him everything?" And he pushed away the sheets. "Yes!" She yelled and jumped on his bed. "Really everything?" He asked, his eyes obligating her to tell the truth. "Almost." She answered quietly, her enthusiasm was much less. His eyes were enough to make her continue without questions he had to ask. "Not about Ryan." She whispered and suddenly without a reason left the room when Lucas stood out of his bed.
Confusion was familiar to Lucas, but it still did hit as hard as before. Getting used to something doesn't always mean that it would change the impact of it, the impact it has on you or on your life. It's like someone you love dies, you can accept it and go on with your life, but it doesn't mean you don't feel sad and hurt when you look at a photo of that person or if you drive by the house he or she used to live, you'll always turn you head and hope you see him or her standing there again … Lucas felt the same about Peyton, he felt like the girl he loved died when she left Tree Hill, their hometown, but seeing her again here in Chicago still was weird, she was nothing of the girl anymore she used to be. He was getting used to her, to how she is now, but that didn't mean he didn't miss the girl she used to be back then, only two years ago.
Still drunk from his restless dreams that turned into little nightmares and the fresh confusing, Lucas made his way to the bathroom. His dreams had been warnings about Peyton, about her life and about how it could turn out to be a mess when the baby got there and she didn't change it now. The reflection of his tanned body in the mirror, his athletic body which certainly was missing out practice didn't match with the horrible look on his face.
Lucas observed his body, he saw the laziness of the last few days trying to fit his body, his eyes were near dead, his face was paler as normal. His jealousy already began to eat away his strong being and powder his pride and feelings.
After a long, warm shower Lucas felt himself as new, in his brown Dashboard Confessional tee matched with a dark jean he walked to Peyton's room. When he entered he saw the cloths she wore when she went after Pete all spread over the floor, even bright green boy shorts and bra lay in his vision. He so much wished he could just throw up now, this made him feel sick, but the effect of his T-shirt on her wasn't pretty either.
As Peyton noticed the Dashboard Confessional T-shirt this familiar pain began to cut in her heart again, the tones of the band's Hands Down once was her favourite song, but the many painful memories it brought about her and Lucas totally had defaced the magic the song once had.
"Not in the mood for cleaning up?" Lucas dropped way too catchy, catchier than he had wanted. Peyton choose to ignore his ironic tone and answered simply: "Just wanted to hold upon this moment a little longer." Peyton heard Lucas whisper something under his breath, she didn't understand every word, but words enough to let her burst out. Unbelievable, blind and stupid girl, were enough to let jump of the edge and storm upon him.
"What's your damn problem Lucas?!" She screamed, Lucas could see the hormones fly around his head. "I have no problem, you have a problem Peyton!" She was about to give him a cold showers of not so pretty words when a knock expired the upcoming storm, Elle opened the door, placed the plates on the table and while doing that she didn't once look up to Peyton or Lucas. "Your breakfast Miss Sawyer." She said, unkindly, the little conversation from not so long ago still sizzling in her head which was covered with the long hair.
The breakfast made Lucas and Peyton shut up, they just eat without saying one word, the only thing they did was giving each other extreme muddy looks with their burning eyes.
When their breakfast was almost finished Lucas found Peyton staring at a photo of Pete, she was so lost into it and it irritated Lucas. "God, so blind." He whispered, but Peyton had heard it. She got up and walked up to Lucas.
"What's the problem Luke?!" She screamed. "I'm not the one with a problem Peyton, you have a problem." He answered simply. "What's my problem then?" She wanted to know. "It's time for you to grow up Peyton! And to open your eyes for the real world." Peyton shook her head and locked herself up in her bathroom.
"Come on Peyton." Lucas said while knocking on the door. "Be not angry at me, I just want to tell you what I think about this." He pleaded. "You think I'm stupid and blind!" She screamed back. "Just let me tell you what I want, than you can be angry with me all you want." He said, hoping he hadn't scattered their perfect friendship.
She unlocked the door and pushed Lucas away who standing before the doorway, than she took place on couch and her eyes dared him to say something.
"Okay, don't get angry with me or hit me before you've heard what I've got to say." He took a deep breath and took place on the floor. "Peyton, I don't really want to say it, but because I'm your best friend I'm obligated and because I care so much about you and your baby." He closed his eyes, calculated the right words to begin.
"I've been watching you since you left Tree Hill, I've followed you in the magazines because I could never let go of you. I know your lifestyle Peyton, I've been able to get a taste of it since I'm here, and all I know is … this is the wrong lifestyle to raise a child in, you're so busy. Late night parties, touring with the band, not having a real home to return to … this is not a steady life for a child. I know how hard it is to raise a child Peyton, I'm helping my mom everywhere I can just to make Lily not her burden but her pleasure. She's practically too old to raise a little child and you're quiet young and not used to children."
"But I knew how the handle Jenny, Lucas." She snapped. "I don't say you'll be a bad mother Peyton, don't twist my words around. But I'm saying it's going to be difficult with the lifestyle you have and you'll be like a single mom." Again she interrupted. "Pete is going to help me, he promised me we'll figure it out, and there are so many singers who raise also children." Lucas shook his head. "I just want to prepare of what is coming on to you okay! Fall Out Boy is in their glory years, the band has obligations towards the management, Pete is not going to be able to be home when he wants or you want." Lucas looked at Peyton, she still wasn't calmed down. "Peyton, I'm not criticizing you, I'm just telling you that if you change your lifestyle, it would do miracles for your baby. Please don't be mad at me because I'm trying to give you some advice, I don't want Pete making you empty promises Peyton." He pleaded. "I'm not a little child Luke, you don't have to protect me anymore from all the 'evil' things, I know how to lead my own life and when I can believe the man I love! I'm not your gi…" Her word was interrupted by a knock on a door.
And out of the blue Pete stood in Peyton's room, shutting a door Lucas had never seen before. "Baby!" She yelled, jumped up and threw herself in his arms, her lips founding his in just seconds, and another three seconds to get into a heavy kiss-session. Lucas disappeared to his room, away from the disgusting event and after an hour he found a note under his door.
Meet us downstairs at 07.00 P.M.
XOX
Peyton
The rest of the day passed quiet, Lucas used his time to e-mail everyone back in Tree Hill, to write a letter to Whitey, to write on his book. Before he realized it, it was evening and time to go and see how the world would react on Peyton's big news, her pregnancy.
Lucas felt himself empty and alone in that big room downstairs in the hotel, all those people surrounding him, but no-one he knew or knew him, no-one expect Peyton, his beautiful Peyton who was mad at him.
There he stood behind the stage, Peyton talking with the members of the band. Patrick happily talking to her about how cool it was she was pregnant and about good it looked on her. Lucas was somehow strangely happy to see her getting along so well with Patrick, Andy and Joe. It looked like she was their little sister, they sounded so close. But it shouldn't have surprised him, in two years she had spend almost all her time with them. Then Pete showed up again.
Jealousy immediately found Lucas. Jealousy, it had never been the monster it was now. Even with Jake it had been less, maybe because of Brooke, Lucas thought. The horrible feeling began to punch into his stomach when he heard Pete make all those empty promises to Peyton.
"I'll work less." Was his first promise to convince her.
"I'll let the management make easier and shorter tours." Was the second number to reach her hand and pull her over the line.
"We'll move to Los Angeles, life is much better for the baby there." Was number three which totally hit her weak spot.
All this promises which fell down as loaded bombs, ready to explode if she believed them. Maybe they weren't so empty, they were stiffed with invisible and dangerous explosive.
"Our manager is looking for you Pete." Joe said and patted his friend on the back, interrupting Pete's empty promises session which seemed to continue forever. Lucas felt the little feathers in his stomach, he just wanted to throw up or something, seeing her so weak, making herself so weak. Pete just said something and she was like a puppy all over him. Where the hell went the real Peyton? Lucas couldn't stop asking himself that.
Finally he had her alone again so this was his change to jump on her and to not let her go for a while. "Peyton!" He yelled and waved at her, she waved back while he came closer. When he finally reached, he kind of kept turning around. "What's up Luke?" Peyton asked, knowing something was bothering Lucas. "I was thinking about our conversation earlier today, I thought you knew which were empty promises and which weren't." Lucas simply said, a little bit of arrogance spicing his voice.
"Unbelievable!" She quietly screamed, not wanting to catch the attention of the other people around her. "We talked this over, I trust Pete and believe him, why is it so hard for you to do the same?" Her eyes began to get smoky, two little flames burned him up. "But Peyton?" He wished he just didn't say those words. "It's your damn pride, isn't? Always wanted to be the better one, better than Nathan, better than Dan, better …" "Peyton." He tried again, almost begging. "God, why can't you just let me be happy?!" That question really knocked a whole in Lucas' walls of defence.
"Miss Sawyer, it's about to start, hurry up!" Someone yelled to her from the opposite side of the room and she disappeared to the stage, leaving him there, hurt.
Ten minutes later Lucas found himself sitting on a blue, soft chair and getting lost by Peyton's presence on the stage, sitting behind the table, her hand probably intertwined with Pete's. Lucas found himself uncomfortable, this entire strange people and the media people. Before even someone could ask a question when 'the show' started, Pete began to speak, he had prepared a little speech.
"There reason why you all here." He began. "Is simple, I've got some things I need to tell to you. First I want to stop the rumours about my girlfriend having an affair with Lucas Scott. Lucas Scott is a close friend from Peyton who she knew from high school back in North Carolina, he's only here to visit her for a while."
A hand flew up, one from a man with a little notebook in his hand. "Did you know he was going to come? Was he the reason you quit the tour earlier? Is he …" Pete interrupted. "I didn't know he was going to come, neither did Peyton but he is just a friend of hers." He reassured everyone, Lucas felt himself sink into his chair, praying he was elsewhere, elsewhere with Peyton in his loving arms, sharing adoring kisses.
"Second of all, and the most important reason." Pete continued. "Peyton and me are blissfully happy to tell the world we are expecting our very first child." He dropped the words like meat for wild lions, they just dived into it, questions shoot around while they hungrily consumed their fresh meat. "Listen carefully because I'm not repeating it later." Pete said, trying to get a little bit of control over everyone. "Peyton is in her third month so it's still a long way to go before our little baby will be born, I want, no I demand from everyone who is a part of the media to leave her alone. I don't want photographers stalking her by every step she makes, I hope you feel yourself responsible enough to let her have a calm and normal pregnancy. Those who break the rules I've set up will meet less nicer rules elsewhere between four walls …"
These words left an impact on the people in the room, on really everyone, Pete's band mates, the crew who worked with Fall Out Boy, the media, and most of all Peyton. Lucas hated it when she saw her eyes lighten up and it wasn't because of his love.
About ten minutes later everything was said and Pete allowed some of the photographers to make photo's of him and Peyton and the band.
She looked gorgeous in that outfit she was wearing, the black wide pants with matching shoes, above that she wore a long silken top which was very light baby blue and above that a cute white vest.
She suddenly looked so motherly, out the blue Lucas saw Peyton motherly rocking a baby in her arms, she was whispering sweet words in the baby's ear. Rocking the little child, he heard her velvet voice dropping these precious words as petals of white roses twirling down on fresh green grass.
"Daddy is coming sweetheart." Her soothing voice spoke while invisible teardrops shinned on the baby's face. And then, then her emerald green glorious eyes lifted up and gazed into his bright, intense blue ones. She was calling him with those magical, beautiful eyes, a name was about to be poured carefully of her red lips: "Luc.."
Out of the blue Lucas felt a hand on his shoulder which made him jump back into reality. "Pregnant looks good on her." He heard a boyish voice rose up behind his back.
Lucas turned around to meet a pair of chocolate brown eyes from a brown-haired boy who had Peyton's length and the little scar on his jaw line, it must be Ryan, that little pinkish scar was the ultimate hint. It broke the boyish beauty of his baby face.
"You must be Lucas." He said and offered his hand to Lucas. "Than you must be Ryan." Lucas answered and shook the other boy's hand. Little smiles exchanged while both men measured each other.
Peyton had been right, if Lucas was able to replace himself in Haley or Brooke or Bevin or even Rachel he would found Ryan a cutie, the touch of childish bliss mixed with the too soon grown up look in his eyes was very tempting, it was just so bittersweet and somehow in a strange way even moving.
"How's your little sister doing?" Lucas asked, he was desperately trying to get his eyes of Peyton. "Peyton told you?" Ryan asked surprised. "Yeah she did, we're pretty close." Lucas added with shiny proud. "Her name, I'm thinking, was it Mara?" Ryan nodded. "Yes, Mara is fine."
The boys searched for a drink and went sitting on the chair on the side of the room. Lucas knew he had to take advantage of this situation, he needed to know as many things about Ryan as he could, and he needed to find out if Peyton was as special to Ryan as Ryan to Peyton.
In the time that followed Lucas learned Ryan was worth it to be a part of Peyton's life. He was very open about many things, but very closed of if you got a little too close. Suddenly a few lights went out and all the spots shinned on the stage.
Lucas felt himself slip away again, maybe he didn't resist it or maybe the alcohol in his blood let him so easily.
Peyton … his heart soared. She looked so amazingly blissful how she stood there, surround by those four boys. This was simply her world now, the boys, their music, the hotel, the flashes of cameras of the paparazzi, the band's crew, all those total strangers, just her life.
Lucas felt like his heart was very slowly and painful removed from his chest when Pete sat before Peyton and lovingly kissed her bare belly. He felt himself become pale as extreme jealousy dived into his system. Her harsh, questioning words kept hitting his poor mind, he asked himself the same.
Why couldn't he just let her be happy?