You're Crashing, But You're No Wave
"We're going to have a real Fall Out …Girl! We're going to have a girl! A girl!" Peyton screamed excited and blissfully. It seemed like the clock just stopped to tick for a second or two, just stood still, before it would go on further. Like everyone just held their breath for a second before they continued with an action which kept you alive, which was an unmistakable need.
"Congratulations." Patrick jumped up and hugged Pete and than Peyton. Also Andy and Joe hugged their best friend and his wife. Lucas was far away, soaked with fighting feelings. "Luke? Luke? Luke? Lucas?" Peyton pulled on the sleeve of his shirt. It seemed like he had to travel a long distance back to Peyton, to where the real, unhappy world waited. "Come on, make a toast with us." Excitement rained down on him, her enthusiasm was endless from time to time, and now, it was like a storm, with rain and thunder, pouring you under, wetting you … making you sick.
Lucas joined the guys of the band and accepted his glass of sparkling champagne. "A toast for our little girly girl, our first Fall Out Girl in history, Roxanne!" Pete shouted while, he lay his one hand on Peyton's growing belly and the other one hold the glass high in the sky. "On girly Fall Out Girl, Roxanne!" Patrick, Joe and Andy screamed and nipped from the golden champagne. Lucas quietly did the same, but the disappointment in Peyton kept growing inside. Why did he feel like he was losing the person he loved with each breath he took?
Peyton noticed Lucas' lifeless gaze, it overshadowed her happiness little by little. She followed his intense stare which ended up on her glass of champagne, she immediately understood what was apparently going on in his messy head. She thought she knew, but if she only had an idea of the unbearable wounds she caused him, she would have jumped into his strong arms and kissed him until his bleeding wounds would heal again.
She putted away her glass of champagne and walked over to Lucas. "Hi Luke." She softly said, they stood in a corner of the room. Further away from Pete and the boys were, where they energetically talked and laughed, they had lost eye on Peyton for a second, just what she needed.
"Hi Peyton." He responded while trying the avoid her emerald green eyes, he didn't know why he wanted to hurt Peyton so bad right now. He actually did, did want to hurt her, cause her pain, extreme pain, because somehow, the flames he once had burned him with his love for her, now teased endlessly him because they were about to expire. They weakly danced around in the shadows of his hurt mind, and howled around: Stupid boy! Stupid, very stupid boy! What do you think you're doing? Don't you see where about to be put out? Look what you've done! Don't you see that soon we'll be gone? What are you going to do then, fool! Foolish kid, what are you fighting for actually? For her, the girl before you?! Do you? You really do, you say? I don't hear you Lucas Scott?!
The dialogue of his fragile, dancing flames was interrupted by a hand which squeezing his one. A sudden straw of warmth made Lucas revive inside, and a flame increased when words rolled from her pink lips. "Lucas, are you happy for us?" She asked and her tiny hands rested on her belly. Before he could even answer, and enlarge the flames which suddenly got so much brighter, he was disrupted by Patrick. "Photo time!" He screamed and took Peyton by the hand and pulled her to him, immediately the flash lighted up.
No-one escaped the camera, not even Lucas who really wished he would let out of this band matter. "Come on Luke! Just one more photo! Please!" Peyton pleaded, tucking on his sleeve. "For Roxanne!" He was about to give in when Pete sneaked up after her. "He doesn't want to, Peyt. Than don't force him, it means more photos for us." He said happily and than whispered in her ear. "But maybe our little girly won't see them, you understand?" But his low voice was still too loud and Lucas stomach twisted painfully. And out of the blue, a wave of cold unshed tears inside of him washed over his vivid flames.
Pete nibble on Peyton's earlobe, she began to giggle and it all got too much for Lucas, he left the room, he didn't want to be a witness of what would happen after that. He quickly lay himself to sleep, also he knew it was pointless. The imagine of Peyton and Pete wouldn't disappear, so he decided to add a few more photo's by his album. One of him and Glenda in her apartment and he also had printed the photo of his little sister Lily and his little nephew James. They were so adorable together, slowly his mind flood back to better times, times in Tree Hill, where his unforgettable home was, when and where he just could forget about the misery of his being.
Lily always made him forget how miserable his life was, she was his highlight, with her childish enthusiasm she discovered the world, and made also Lucas discover the world again, through other eyes. More dreamy eyes, also James made him feel so much happier from time to time. He remembered that one day last summer he had to look after his little sister and his nephew and they were in the garden. The little boy and girl crept around the garden, smelling every colourful flower, racing after every butterfly or bird, scream in excitement when they discovered something and they could teach each other this little things, as they discovered together. Lucas remember how he had to chase after them, they were so exhausting together, he had fallen in the grass and not long after him, Lily and James had snuggled up against him and had gazed to the sky like he had done. The sun had been gently burning on their soft skin while clouds galloped noiseless through the never-ending sky. Their miniature fingers had been pointing to the azure blue, to the white fluffy clouds, babbling thrilled words in their secret language. That moment, when that little boy and that little girl had been talking to him, telling him things he wouldn't understand because he couldn't remember the language he had once spoke, because he had developed himself into millions words instead of a few, like them. With the bright burning sun, spongy clouds, the tickling grass under his tanned skin, and the breathing of his future, then he had realised through all he was lucky, lucky to be here, lucky he had pulled through, because when the breeze absorbed his happiness, he knew that it would wave all around the world, and would find his destiny, he only had the be patient until the breeze reached his unknown fate.
The memories of such that amount of happiness made him somehow tired, and when he closed his blue eyes, he felt that his fate was so, so near, also it seemed further away than ever.
It was 7 over 8 when Lucas fell on his soft bed, gasping for some descent air, the laces of his running shoes lowered to the ground, his body lay on the still tangled white sheets. His mind considered that maybe it wasn't a good idea for an early run through Chicago, the streets seemed so endless, one fault move and a car would kill you. But on the other side, the laziness from the last weeks which badly tried to take over his body needed to be fought back, he had worked years to makes his body athletic and in the shape that it was now, he wasn't going to ruin that in just a few weeks.
After a long, warm shower Lucas walked into his bedroom, wearing only his boxers, he opened the closet to search for a clean sweater and jeans until he felt two eyes burning holes in his back. He turned around to find Elle staring at him. "Hi." She said shyly. Fake shyly because again she was wearing a skirt which was way too short for her job. She was defiantly searching for some trouble.
"Hi Elle." He answered harsh. "What are you doing here, they cleaned my room yesterday." He said and she immediately began to struggle with words. "Peyton wanted to see you." She got out uncomfortable and walked towards the door. "You two are friends again?" Lucas asked while searching his shoes. She shrugged meaningless and left the room.
Even through Elle was probably lying for some unknown reason Lucas decided to check on Peyton anyway. When he entered the room she sat on the table, her head lay on her arms, when Lucas walked closer he could hear she was groaning. "Are you okay Peyton?" He asked and rubbed her back. She lifted up her head a little. "Maybe." She answered. He took place beside her, before he could ask anything Peyton began to talk. "Headache, dizzy, I just feel bad." She groaned. "Late night party yesterday?" Lucas asked. She nodded but immediately after that shook her head. "Not for me, but for the guys." She smiled. "Where are they actually?" Lucas asked suspicious, excepting for Pete to walk in any moment. "They have an important concert tonight, they are checking everything and Pete has a meeting with the lawyers, we're trying to find a way to get past some issues for the tape thing." Lucas nodded understandably.
An hour later Pete called Peyton with the message that the appointment with the lawyers hadn't been successful. Her mood immediately went into the depth, the same was her skin tone, she immediately became pale, Lucas knew she was stressing out. He knew he needed to find a way to relax her because he was feeling this was going out the very wrong way.
"What about we go shopping?" The words just rolled out of his mouth. And somehow a spark broke through the deep green of her sad eyes. "I really think your little baby girl needs some girly stuff. What do you think, mommy Peyton?" And out of the blue a bright smile shinned on her face. "Sure my little girl needs that!" And she stroked her belly.
"There's this awesome store." She told excitedly when they walked through the streets of Chicago. "They make special baby clothing and I totally want a unique design for Roxanne's her first clothing." When they entered the small but cosy store, Peyton went totally crazy about all the tiny clothes in sweet colours she saw. A young, pretty blond girl asked if she could help Peyton with anything and the enthusiasm just flooded all over the modest place.
"I want a copy of my outfit." Peyton pointed to what she was wearing. A sweet blue Raining Hearts tee from Fall Out Boy. It was super girly, with the baby blue and baby pink and white. Also she was wearing a snow white wavy skirt. "I'm pleased to do that Miss Wentz." The girl answered and kept talking about the publicity she would cause the store and how great it would be.
When they wanted to walk back to the hotel some paparazzi people seemed to fell out the sky all at once. For the one moment to the other her happy mood totally switched into extreme anger and she dragged Lucas to the opposite side from the sidewalk. When she saw Lucas' confused face she mumbled something about 'taking care of some very important businesses. He knew what she meant when they ended up by the management of the band again. Inside the building she made pretty clear she wanted to speak with the lawyers and her lawyer, and soon a bit before she would get really, really irritated and furious.
He waited before the closed doors when she 'talked' with the lawyers, but you really couldn't call it 'talk', you heard her screaming from inside, demanding things, threatening to fire each one of them who didn't do his best for 101. She was a bitch when it came to business, and she was proving it at this moment. She didn't seem to care who could hear her and who not, but she would get what she wanted, she would.
When she had finished the meeting, she and Lucas went back to the hotel. The lawyers had promised her they would call her when they had found a descent solution for the situation. The whole time she stayed up, next to the phone, and finally the phone ringed in the late afternoon. In five minutes she was ready to leave, she couldn't wait to tell Pete about the solution and she and Lucas immediately left for the big concert of Fall Out Boy.
The place were the band would perform was crowded, Lucas never had seen so many people together in just a small space. Lucas thought they would never get to Pete backstage but somehow they found a way through all the people who came out to see their favourite band, to the place where Lucas and Peyton wanted to be. But they crashed on some security guys, other men than Peyton was used to, none of them were from the people they normally worked with.
"Excuse me, mister but I really have to see Pete Wentz!" She yelled through the noise of the music. "You wish!" One of the men screamed back unsympathetic. Lucas could see the imaginary steam coming out of her ears, this wasn't a moment to challenge Peyton. "I need to see him! I really have to!" She screamed again, but the man seemed only annoyed, but Peyton walked closer him, even his eyes were warning her not to do that. "I have to, do you even know who I am …" She said and walked closer and closer, but she soon was too close for the male, before she could finish he kicked her hard in the belly.
Through the music you couldn't hear her becoming silent, but her body shrunk directly and when Lucas wanted to lay a supportive hand on her shoulder, she suddenly leaned over and a low noise came out of her throat. If the music wasn't that loud you would have heard it was an extreme loud intake of a painful breath which tried to reach her lungs. "Peyton, what's wrong? Peyton?" She began to scream like the devil himself was burning through her body, she grabbed to her belly, she gasped for fresh air and Lucas saw her falling on the hard, dirty floor.
"Peyton? Peyton!" He immediately let himself fall on his knees and tried to make a quick note of this unexpected situation. "Peyton?" He gently rubbed her cheek, but she was already unconscious, her face was twisted in a very painful expression. His eyes flew over her body and than, fear crashed over him as an unpredicted wave, a red flood wetted her white skirt. He didn't have to see where the blood was coming from he knew from seeing her hands laid on her belly. He froze for a second until he felt the commotion build up against and around him. Another person leaned to the ground next to Peyton's lifeless body. And out of the blue, Lucas' voice, waspish and low cried all over the place, when his lungs filled with smoky air.
"Someone call 911!" He kept repeating it until another man lay a hand on his shoulder. He looked messy in his large shirt and torn jeans matched with green Converse shoes. "She – she – she's having a miscarriage." Lucas felt how his heart began to beat faster and faster, making him feel suddenly dizzy. He knew this couldn't go right anymore, he gasped for air and fought against the tears which treated to fall out of his blue eyes. It was until the driver from the ambulance shook him back to cold and cruel reality. "Lucas!" It was Josh. "Peyton, she – I think – I – I – she's having – a – a miscarriage. Roxanne." He pulled out between the breaths. Josh helped him to stand up again when he kept fighting for some descent air in his lungs and the doctors laid Peyton on a stretcher, their words were so dramatic and fast Lucas couldn't form a sentence of them. Josh said something he didn't hear and climbed in the ambulance which left with the ear-splitting sound drowned out to a background noise because of the loud Fall Out Boy music.
Lucas felt his panicking heart beating a hole in his chest, a million thoughts made his brain nearly crash and he gasped for oxygen in his short, painful and mostly fearful breaths. As the lights got as blue as the sky build out of the hours of darkness ...