A/N: Hello, here I am again. And again with another question. I have been considering to work together with a beta-reader since I joined but I never set through with the plan. But the review from 'Sundials' gave me the push I needed. Thanks again 'Sundials' by the way. I really own it to all of you to give it my best and I could use the help of someone who has English as their first language. So if there is a beta-reader here who wants to corporate with me, let me know through a review or PM … For everyone who is wondering why it takes so long for Lucas&Peyton to get together, that's just me. But I promise they'll get together but it is going to take some chapters. So I ask you to be patient and I promise you it will be worth it. Thanks again to everyone who read and/or reviewed my stories, you don't have any idea how much it means to me. Much love, Veronique.
Sugar, We're Going Down
The next morning Lucas assumed Peyton would have been renewed. When he said goodnight to her yesterday, she seemed so peaceful. The storm inside her had calmed down, she had looked so happy. Maybe not actually happy like, when you're having this warm feeling inside, and you could dance around the whole day, and you could do whatever you wanted. Not that blissfully happy, but more like happier than she had been in weeks.
But nothing was less true. It was just before noon as Lucas and Peyton were playing some self-made music trivia. Each one on his turn had to sing a line or some lines out of a song and the other had to guess which song it was.
Youth's the most unfaithful mistress
Still we forge ahead to miss her,
Rushing our moment to shine.
Lucas sang and Peyton immediately answered when he stopped. "The Swiss Army Romance from Dashboard Confessional!" She screamed excited. "That's way too easy!" And she stuck out her tongue. She looked kind of pretty but weird in her girly, pink skirt matched with a sporty black tee which fitted lazy around her body. Still black dominated what she wore. Still confirming she was in the middle of her mourning, it had past by a little already, but it would take much more time to go away in her appearance.
"My turn." She giggled thrilled. Peyton stood up from the floor and let the words roll out her mouth on a slightly singing town.
You said times with me were lots of fun
But now funny just ain't what you want
Yeah my girl, ain't that just a little strange
There were times you'd rather die than leave
Now you say; Hold on a second here
Lucas looked up at her. "I don't know." He said honestly after a few seconds of thinking. "Come on, at least guess." She begged playfully, her curly braids swinging around her head. She definitely looked like a young girl. "I really don't know Peyton, you're too strong for me." He said and threw his hands in the air, to 'defence' himself. "It's Sadness from Stash." She almost yelled in his ear. Lucas' blue eyes went big. "Never heard of them." He said and watched her make a bow in front of him. "Stash is a Belgian band, heard them of them when I was on tour with the boys in Europe." She sat down on the floor again. "Your turn."
Lucas thought deep, know he needed to find a song that Peyton didn't know. Well that was a tough mission, she almost knew every song he knew. But then he decided to sing the first lines which came up in his head. He closed his blue eyes and his voice howled softly over the place.
Every time you get a drink
And every time you go to asleep
Are those dreams inside you head
Is there sunlight on your bed?
He opened his eyes and saw Peyton's green eyes looking weird. She was thinking. "Peyton doesn't know." Lucas teased her like a little boy when she didn't answer immediately. "Ooh, Luke! I do know, just let me think." After two minutes she still hadn't said a band or a title. "Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one! Say something." But she didn't. He began to laugh.
"It's Lucky You from The National." Another voice rose up. Lucas and Peyton turned their heads and found Pete standing in the doorway between her and his room. Casually he leaned against the doorway, he looked slightly better than before his jeans and green sweater, green All Stars on his feet.
"Hi." He said then. But there wasn't much reaction from Peyton. "I have terrific news Peyt." He said happily and reached out for her from a distance, as invitation for her to come and join him.
Cautiously she got up properly, which was not very easy with her skirt, and walked over to him. "What's the news?" She asked with a little voice when she came closer. "I've got the rest of the week off." He said excited and hugged her. Lucas saw how her body stiffened as soon as Pete embraced her. Quickly she began to cough, she still was kind of sick. Pete let go of her, giving her some space.
"Good for you." She mumbled and returned to the spot on the floor where she had sat with Lucas. This was strange, Lucas thought. Normally she would have jumped in his arms, and kissed him and did things she better did only when they were alone in her or his bedroom.
But now she just mumbled some words and returned to the daily routine she was busy with. She left her husband standing in the doorway, wide surprised eyes staring at his wife.
"Luke, can we see Lily on the webcam?" She asked while stroking over Lucas' broad shoulders while he sat on the floor. "It's been weeks since I seen here. I really want to see her pretty face again." Lucas looked up, surprised by her words. "We'll have to wait until tonight, yesterday my mom told me she stayed open until 07 p.m." Her face got an unhappy expression. "But I promise you'll see her tonight, maybe I can stretch it out an extra half hour." Lucas said and saw the expression on her face change immediately, a faint smile came across.
Pete looked slightly annoyed by not getting her attention. "I think I left my bathrobe in your room, isn't it Luke?" She asked, still avoiding her husband's eyes which widened by her words. "I think I putted it on the bed this morning. I'll go get it with you."
This morning she had spent the morning with him from the moment she woke up, she even was besides his bed when he woke up. She hadn't seen Pete yesterday night. When they came back in her room after getting her bathrobe, Pete was gone, the door between her and his room shut and locked.
It didn't seem to bother Peyton much, she walked over to her music closet and picked out a mixed tape that she made. It didn't last long before her music howled all over her room and she loudly sang along.
Lucas was bothered, not by Peyton's loud music or her singing, or even her subtle dance moves. But by the songs which were on the mixed tape. The first song was 'Face Down' by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, the next song was 'Screaming Infidelities' from Dashboard Confessional. The song after the one from Dashboard Confessional on the mixed tape was 'Stab My Back' from The All-American Rejects, the fourth song was 'I Don't Love You' from My Chemical Romance, and if 'Look What You've Done' followed from Jet, even 'Losing Grip' from Avril Lavigne, thundered through the room. Lucas didn't really need another explanation anymore from what the other songs would be about.
It's a contract, baby
We're gonna make you sign
It's your choice now, maybe
But you could die tonight
It's a whisper, baby
When your ears are blind
It's a scream, baby
We don't want your kind
She was screaming along with The Outline's 'Shotgun' while Lucas walked closer to her. "What about we listen to Jack's Mannequin, I really am in the mood to hear Andrew's voice." Lucas said, hoping she would turn this sort of music off. "Well, I am not." She simply answered. When she saw the look on his face when he tried to talk her into something other than this, she began to nearly shout at him. "I am not in the mood for Jack's Mannequin so stop about it. I am listening to this music because it fits me perfectly. It reflects my feelings, so shut up already." It came out quit gentle but still mixed up with a little aggression.
She continued dancing around, towards her bed. She bended down and took out a very small metal box from under it. She putted it on the bed and then walked over to her walk-in wardrobe, Lucas followed her and saw how she opened a metal safe which was hidden away after some cloths. She took something out of it, it was a bunch of keys. She left the wardrobe and went back to the bed. She took the smallest one and opened the metal box. She spread the material out on the bed. It was her drawing stuff, pencils and sketchbook.
It was quiet a while in the afternoon when Pete unlocked the door between his room and the room from Peyton. Lucas was checking his e-mail, he had seven new e-mails when he opened his account. A mail from Nathan and Haley, one from Brooke and Chase, one from his friends from work, one from Glenda and Josh, one from Brooke alone and one from Skills and Bevin who were travelling through Europe.
Skills, Lucas had to smile when he thought about him. Skills was a professional basketball player now. He was the only one from the three boys who had accomplished his dream to become a professional. Lucas just couldn't because of his heart condition, and Nathan, well he could but didn't do it. For him it didn't seem fair to lead an on the road-life when you have a wife and a son at home to care about. Being away so much would mean giving up on a big and important part of his son's and wife's life, kind of like Lucas was doing now by Lily and his mom. That Nathan didn't want, he really had become a good guy now, and Lucas was finally proud of him.
But Skills, Skills could and did realize his dream. And now he was on a break with Bevin in Europe. Bevin had did a great job herself by becoming with she had become. She was the assistant of the doctor from the team, so she could travel along with Skills. She also modelled from time to time for some advertisement campaigns for the main sponsor of the team. She wasn't anything that people would have expected she would become after high school. She wasn't a stupid girl who would fall in the darkness of life after being characterized in high school. No Bevin had become a woman of the world; bright, pretty and intelligent.
Soon Lucas returned his attention back to his e-mails. He had read each one and answered them. The only one left was the one from Brooke alone. Lucas questioned himself why she would send an e-mail while she already had sent one with Chase. But he soon would know this mail would be a totally different one that the 'update' mail from her and Chase.
Hi Luke,
Another e-mail from your favourite ex-girlfriend here. And this one isn't about me and Chase and the whole drama around us. This is about more serious stuff (okay maybe not more serious, but between us, this is definitely serious, you know what I mean)
It's been has been quiet a long time since I saw you in person. The reason for this mail isn't that I miss you so much and that tears spring in my eyes when I think about our goodbye (okay that is totally true, but not the reason for the mail)
The real reason: how is your 'mission' going? Are you moving forward, because from what I read in the magazines, life is pretty messed up over there. How is she holding on actually? I can't believe I'm not there to be with her now she needs her best girlfriend the most.
So Lucas, can you please bring her home when you get the chance, and I don't believe I am going to write this line down but …
LUCAS YOU'RE THE ONE FOR MY P.SAWYER, BRING HER BACK WITH YOU, I WANT MY EYES TO HURT SO BADLY FROM THE BRIGHT LOVE YOU TWO SHARE
(that one is out, if you told me in high school, that one day I would say this words, I would have knocked you out D)
But Luke, bring her back, my heart is breaking because I miss you around and miss Peyton in my life.
I feel so bad about giving up on her when she ran away from us, when she made us 'clear' she needed us the most. Giving up on her, we all did, except you, you never did, thank you Luke for going after her, and bring her back to the place where she belongs. Tell her I miss her if you get the chance to, and make sure she stays all right …
I know this is kind of 'Mission Impossible IV', and if you see it's pointless, than please return to us with or without her, because I miss you so much and so does everyone else back in Tree Hill …
Much love from
Brooke
(PS: I know this is probably the most childish and high school kind of mail you ever had with all the 'I almost cry' stuff in it, but Luke this is how I feel)
Lucas could only smile, but it was a sad smile. Tears were building up against the back of his blue eyes. His eyes flew from the screen to Peyton and back. For once he was glad that drawing could take her away from this world, he decided to answer Brooke's mail now when Peyton wasn't showing attention.
Hi dear favourite ex-girlfriend Brooke,
I miss you too, and I miss everyone back in Tree Hill. I hope that I can return back soon, my heart is breaking by the thought I have to miss you guys any longer.
Peyton is holding on, not that easily but she is holding on. You know how she is, she's a fighter, that fact still hasn't changed. Even she doesn't say it, but I know she misses you too Pretty Girl, that she misses everything from her past.
I experience this is 'Mission Impossible IV'. Sometimes her love for me seems so near and there are situations I could maker her open her eyes, but then this fear that she would push me back and make me leave is bigger. I know I am being foolish, but I am not blind for the love she has for Pete.
Since I am here she has experienced a lot of weak moments which I could have taken advantage of, but I just can't. Than I would feel myself the 'bad guy' that I promised myself I would never become, no matter which the circumstances were. I want her to come naturally, I do not want to force her to my side.
This situation is pointless, I know
Lucas was put back into reality when he heard an argument behind him build up.
"What are you doing?" It was Pete's voice. "Sketching." Peyton's voice snapped back, not very kind towards her husband. "That has been a while." He said, still kind, also Lucas could hear he was controlling his temper. She groaned something the boys couldn't understand.
Lucas turned around slightly so he could observe from the corner of his eyes what was going on between the famous couple which was in the same room as him.
"Why this sudden interest, you haven't touched a pencil in months." He said and sat down on her bed, Lucas noticed Pete was wearing a black tee instead of his green sweater. Now his tattooed arm was clearly visible for admiring.
"Because I have decided to take a shot again." She said, she lay on her belly, her legs swaying through the air. She looked like an annoyed girl out some chick flick. "Which shot?" He asked confused, she really was playing with him, and Lucas could tell she was enjoying it. "My missed opportunities."
Lucas shivered, her behaviour was a ghost of what it used to be. He thought he had helped her through this bad time by showing her his secret yesterday night. But it only was working against the good intentions he had.
"Do I really need to refresh your mind Pete?" She spoke harshly, and the black pencil scratched a line on the paper before her. "How many missed opportunities I have?" Pete took a deep breath when he wanted to say something she even cut him off before he could begin. "Too many! Don't you think I know? But that's going to change now, at this moment as I speak." Her voice rose up in pure anger and frustration. "I am tired of throwing away my chances to change my future into something valuable because of you." She said coldly. "And which opportunities are you going to take back then?" He asked serious and annoyed by her sudden behaviour. "I am not going tell you because you'll talk me out of it again. And I won't let that happen again. Not after my lost shot by the record labels in Los Angeles, Chicago and New York. Not after my meeting with that lady from Miami which was interested in my art work. Not after that call from one of those magazines who wanted a column written by me." She counted the missed opportunities on her right hand.
"Each time when those opportunities came up the last two year, you talked me out of it, in the beginning I thought you were overprotecting because I didn't know anything about this business or this lifestyle where I was suddenly a part of. But when you talked me out of the last shot for me to get a normal life with a job, I figured out you just don't want me to take a chance and become what I want. And I am so sick of it."
Both Pete and Peyton didn't seem to realize Lucas was still in the same room as them. Instead of trying to get away, Lucas didn't even move. Her screaming became more impatient and heated and mostly, with each word she said she made sparkles of hope for Lucas.
"Why don't you just let me be? Why don't you think about my dreams? It's not only your dreams that count in our marriage or the ones of our friends, or better, your friends and family! What about my friends and family, what about my dreams for them, with them? You sickened everything, every tiny thing. You made me lose my father over a few concerts! I can't take it anymore. I just don't, I just can't, and I just won't!"
Lucas saw how Peyton began to shut Pete out of her business more and more. He felt guilty, but somehow, strangely it satisfied him. He was getting closer to closer to what he wanted.
"Why don't you just leave me alone?!" She screamed, old words for Lucas, but certainly new ones for Pete when he saw the shocked but mostly hurt look in his brown eyes.
Lucas' fingers connected with the keyboard of his laptop.
But from now, this isn't pointless at all …