The Take Over, The Break's Over
"She really is gorgeous Lucas." Peyton said happily when she saw his little sister on the webcam. "She got that part from her big brother." Came out Lucas' mouth at this flirting tone. He smiled while looking at the girl beside him. She seemed to amuse herself, even she had just experienced the most intense fight with her husband since they were together. When the fight finally had expired, Lucas had expected from Peyton to break down and regret every single word she had spoken in anger. But the opposite happened, after Pete got up and took off to his room, she had simply asked Lucas if they could see Lily.
That was what they were doing now for already more than an hour. She had chatted with Karen and had done funny things in front of the webcam to entertain Lily. She was in the best mood Lucas had seen her in ages.
Odd, very odd, was the only thing Lucas could think about this strange situation and told it also to his mother who called him on his cell phone.
"I really don't know what to think about it." Lucas said quietly to his mother through the phone. He sat on the edge of the bathtub in the bathroom, he had excused himself when his cell phone started to ring. "Her reaction is totally different from the standard one. Normally is she even thinks she has said a bad word to him, she starts crying and begging him to forgive him that she didn't meant it and the whole thing. But now she acts like nothing has happened." He heard his mother sigh on the other end of the call. "I don't know what to say Lucas." His mother's voice came back to his end of the call. "Mom, I really could use some advice." He almost begged, he just couldn't think of a way to deal with this situation. Instead of an answer, an unexpected flood of words came from Tree Hill to Chicago. "I miss you so bad Luke, and so does Lily, she has become even quieter since you left."
It was like an unexpected punch in his stomach. Almost everyday his mother called, and those words had been balancing on the edge between being said or being kept inside his mother's heart. But today they came finally out, and the pain it left was lingering inside his stomach, making him feel suddenly dizzy. "Mom." He brought out finally, his voice needed some effort to become audible. "Lucas." Karen answered with her voice back in control but tears were in her eyes, her son knew. The awkward period without words that were spoken endured, making it so hard for Lucas to fight back. He had seen the words 'I miss you' so many times the past months on his computer screen, but now that they were spoken out loud, with so much emotion they dragged along. He couldn't fight back and say something that would comfort his mother. This situation was getting so complicated, he couldn't think straight at the moment.
"Mummy." His little sister's voice crept up over his mother's leg, into the phone, through the lines to Chicago, into her big brother's ear. A feeling so intense, caused by such one simple word, flowed over him. "Lily, baby." He heard his mother's voice trickle down on the little girl who was his sister who sat on their mother's feet. The painful silence was broken. Lucas was about to say something when Peyton opened the bathroom door and walked up to him.
"Can I talk to your mom?" She asked sweetly, one of her long fingers playing with one of her long curls. "Sure." He said and passed her his cell phone. "Hi Miss Roe, its Peyton." She said happily. "Karen." She corrected herself, Lucas could hear the familiar words formed into a phrase: 'Please call me Karen' in his ears. "I just want to say you have a beautiful daughter." Under the surface of her never-ending voice, a wave of emotion collided with another wave of self-control. "I'm sure Keith is so proud of you and Lily and Lucas."
Her gentle words were the reason for the tears in Lucas' eyes. He had to swallow them away, hearing someone mention Keith could still make the tears flood to his eyes, desperate unshed tears, trying to escape. Even after all this time.
"Here, she has something to say to you." Peyton pulled Lucas back from his thoughts and into the real world. His cell phone lay in her hand, slightly embraced by her slender fingers. "Thanks." And took the phone out of her warm hand.
"Hi mom." He greeted her again for the second time this evening. "I am sorry Lucas but when she mentioned Keith, I just couldn't ..." Her son gently cut her off. "It's okay. I know what you mean." He reassured her quietly. "What about you put Lily to sleep?" Lucas said after a silent while, he looked at his watch. "It's time for her to go to sleep I guess." Even there was a time difference between Chicago and Tree Hill, the hands of his watch showed it was time for his little sister to get some sleep, Lucas knew that little girl needed her sleep, she really was unbearable when she hadn't enough of it. "I'll do that." She answered softly. "Or wait, can you put her on the phone please, I want to say something to her."
Even Lily was this little, Lucas kind of treated her like a grown up person. Giving her the 'serious' talks, not the baby sort of things. After Peyton left Tree Hill, he couldn't take to anyone about his feelings, because Haley, Nathan and Brooke and the rest of her friends and his friends acted like she had never been there. Avoiding the memories, so painful and dragging. Lucas held everything inside, destroying slowly the chances to love another girl besides Peyton. But when Lily came, it all chanced. Suddenly he could talk again, let his feelings out. Even he knew she probably wouldn't understand the seriousness of the words which were spoken to her, knowing she reacted to him gave him enough reassurance. Lily always got this sparkling in her tiny eyes when he talked about Peyton, and that was the most important sign for Lucas, that his little sis gave somehow her blessing.
"Here you have her." Lucas heard how his mother putted Lily on the phone. "Hi Lily." Lucas said in his 'big brother voice'. And very lovely he began to sing again, his version of 'Hey There Delilah'. When he finished he told goodnight to his sister and his mother.
When he returned to the 'living room', he found Peyton standing beside the door, the knob already in her hand, wearing her pyjamas. "I am going to sleep." She said, tugging on the sleeve of her green shirt. She looked so different after the loss from Roxanne. A few weeks pack her pyjama had been a short nightgown, now it was a long sleeved shirt and white soft trousers. It looked like she tried to hide her body after what happened. Her cloths were less sexy and showed a minimal of skin most of the time. She probably hadn't sex since she lost Roxanne, maybe because she wasn't allowed, but probably she didn't want to. Lucas had heard a somewhat conversation between Pete and Joe about Peyton a few days ago.
"She doesn't let me touch her." Pete had complained. "If I even dare to touch her with one finger, she tells me to back off." His voice had sounded somewhat angry. "Maybe she doesn't feel ready. Maybe she needs some space." Joe had offered. "What about what I need?" Anger came through. And the rest Lucas hadn't heard as then Elle's high heels came closer to his room.
"It's too early to go to sleep Peyton. Let's watch some television." He suggested quickly. Knowing that this was the chance he had to take to pull her closer to him. Maybe it was taking advantage of a messed up situation. That thought had haunted him so many times the past months, but this time he didn't feel like it was too wrong. The harm was already done, he could see in her green eyes.
"The Great Gatsby is on today." Lucas suddenly remembered, he had read it somewhere, he couldn't wait to find out of the movie of the book was better than the book itself.
He pulled Peyton along with him in the soft couch, wrapping his strong arms around her slender body. After a while Lucas felt Peyton fighting against the sleep. Very softly and slowly he let his fingertips run after the soft material of her green shirt. She barely reacted, already pulled over the edge to dreamland.
Also tired, Lucas yawned and then focused back on the television screen. But it couldn't entertain him so he closed his eyes and decided to only hear the words the actors and actresses spoke, so familiar to Lucas, because he knew this book like no other. He closed his blue eyes, hoping that someday soon he would hear other familiar words from familiar people, like the sweetest and most precious words from Peyton, those promising words of love.
"I'm sorry Luke." Her voice rose up after more than an hour. "I am such bad company! Did I really fell asleep by The Great Gatsby?" Lucas moved carefully on the couch, holding Peyton in his strong embrace. If he would move too much, she would probably fall off because of the shortcoming of space. "Don't be bothered by it Peyton." Lucas said while suppressing a loud yawn. "The book is way better." Peyton smiled vaguely.
"I should go to sleep." Her voice sounded sleep drunk. When she got up, she nearly lost balance, thanks to Lucas swift reflex, she didn't fell. Her eyes almost shut again when she looked at her hand in Lucas'. When she tried to take a step towards the door again, her legs didn't seem to work along with her mind. She wavered on her legs, Lucas swiftly stood up, grabbing her two hands with his own. "Maybe you should sleep here." Lucas suggested but Peyton shook her head. "I really should sleep in my own bed." And move towards his door.
Lucas saw his chances almost flew out the window, but he wouldn't let it happen. "Come on Peyton, in your room it will be cold. Here's its nice and cosy, and I see it in your eyes, you probably will fall asleep before you reach the bed." He assured the moaning Peyton and swayed his arms around her, pulling her into a hug. "Come on Peyton." He said while his hands massaged her back softly, hitting a sensitive spot there, letting a soft groan escape in response.
"Okay." She murmured and let Lucas lead her to the big double bed. She crawled under the soft sheets and allowed Lucas to tuck her in. She seemed a little girl how she lay there, so vulnerable when she closed her green eyes, the thick sheets were she seemed to drown under. "I am going to the bathroom to brush my teeth, and then I'll be there okay?" She nodded and let out a groan of approval.
The reflection of himself in the mirror made Lucas strangely smirk. He even didn't know why he smirked to himself by seeing the imagine of a tired man with a three day old stubble. He let his hand ran along his rough cheek and then yawned again. The sigh that sleep was welcome to come and get him, dive him into dreamland. And that was what happened when his head met the pillow, he fell asleep immediately.
It was over midnight when Lucas suddenly was woken up by the heavy movements beside him. He opened his eyes very, very slowly and confused before he realised that Peyton lay in his bed.
The first reaction in his mind was to wake her up, but then he realised again that Peyton slept very badly the past few weeks, and that waking her up might not be the best idea. Instead he carefully manoeuvred his arms around her and pulled her very softly closer to his athletic body. Almost instantaneously he could feel her body relax against his own. Satisfaction was like two strong but tender arms embracing Lucas' heart. It didn't take too much time for Lucas to drift to sleep again, in a few minutes slumbering again, with Peyton tightly against him.
It was in the early stages of morning when Lucas woke up by the feeling someone was fighting his embrace. When his eyes fluttered open, he saw the gold of a bunch of blond curls waving around before his blue eyes. Not very happy by being woken up and the laziness that made his mind drown into funny thoughts controlled his body. Little by little Lucas pulled Peyton's body back to his. He found it difficult not to laugh when he heard her curse beneath her breath. His smile was hidden in her tickling curls. But then a quiet cry escaped him. Peyton forcefully turned around and hit Lucas on the chest. "That's not funny Luke! Let me get up." She insisted when he didn't loose his embrace. But he only pulled her closer, the drunkenness of his previous sleeping still running through his veins. He yawned out loud and pulled her almost flat against him. "Come on Luke, I really need to use the bathroom." He heard the urgency in her swift voice but chose to ignore her and buried his nose in her hair, breathing in the smell of it. Laziness made him such a little bastard.
"Luke, let me go." She murmured while trying to move his arms away. "Maybe if you ask very nicely." His voice sounded weird. Peyton sighed but saw no other way out. "Lucas, can I please, please, please get up?" She asked irritated by his strange behaviour. "That is not too nicely asked." He said. "Ask again."
Peyton closed her eyes, told herself not to look annoyed and then opened her mouth again. "Can I please, dear Lucas Scott, stand up, because I really have to use to bathroom?" She asked on a sugar sweet tone. "Okay." He lightly said, pressed a kiss on her nose and let her go.
When she walked through the door, Lucas felt himself unexpectedly weird. What the hell has washed over me, he thought while closing his eyes and letting his suddenly tired head meet the soft pillow. Maybe it was this realisation that Peyton and Pete were losing track, that this was a step closer to reach his destiny.
After lying down, with an uncleared fight in himself, Lucas jumped up and went to his bathroom refresh himself. Feeling slightly sick by his earlier behaviour. He decided to apologise when he dressed himself up. He found a young attractive man in the mirror, looking stylish in a pair of dark jeans matched with a simple, bright blue Lacoste polo. The blue, so intensely beautiful, just like his eyes. His tanned skin was the perfect finishing touch. His stubble had made place for a smooth cheek. He brushed his hand right hand through his blond hair to style it a little and then decided to enjoy breakfast with Peyton like he had done almost every morning since he came here.
When he opened the door which gave access to her luxurious apartment. Lucas found her eating cornflakes and drinking coffee. When she was pregnant she became nauseous of the smell of coffee. She practically had forbidden everyone to drink coffee when she was pregnant, but now it was what she drank every morning.
She looked weird in her extremely torn light blue jeans which had so many stains of baby pink paint on it that Lucas didn't even began to count them. She had matched the distasteful jeans with an old, long, white, woollen sweater with a turtleneck. Or at least between the extra large stains of her the bright dark blue paint it was white. The type of blue reminded Lucas of the early cheerleading informs from the Ravens cheerleaders.
The imagine of Peyton in a short skirt and a short top made Lucas' body instantly reacted. He felt how the blood swiftly flew through his lower half. He cursed himself and was immediately down to earth again when he saw her sitting there across the table. She looked miserable how she sat there. Maybe some humour could cheer her up Lucas thought briefly.
"What's about the clothing today?" He said jokingly. But that one didn't really was welcomed by Peyton. She jumped up and ran away from the table, before Lucas realised it clear and well, the door of her closet was smashed shut and probably also locked.
Lucas was stunned and sat there with him mouth wide open. He carefully stood up, fixed the mess that the cornflakes created on the simple table before walking up her dresser door.
"Sorry Peyton." He yelled while placing his left hand flat against the wood and the other one enclosed the doorknob. "I didn't mean to make fun of you Peyton. It was looked a little weird to me!" He yelled but received no reaction. "Peyton I am sorry. So sorry! Also for this morning. I apologise! Okay?" He let hand meet the door a few times, but still no reaction.
He slid down against the door. He certainly was messing this up against his will. While closing his blue eyes he rested his tired head against the hard surface of the door. It was already a quarter ago when she had herself locked up there. "Please Peyton, I ..." Further he didn't get when he unexpected tumbled backwards as the steadiness of the door slipped away behind his back. Peyton hadn't seen it coming and by accident stepped almost on his hands which were trying to break his fall. As he opened his eyes he got a first class view on her black panties under her thin dress. Blood ran in two different directions, the biggest amount to his head, making him blush till behind his ears and the other amount rushed downwards, to a place Lucas cursed he had at this moment.
"Sorry sorry sorry." He began and quickly got up. Today was probably going to be the day with the most awkward situations first. "Damn." He said while covering his eyes with one of his hands. "It's okay Luke, it isn't like you haven't seen it before." But he didn't remove his hand from sheltering his beautiful blue eyes. Her slender hand rose up, reaching out for his stronger one. Her cold fingers somewhat stroking over his. Assuring him that it was okay to look again, pulling his hand towards her body, and letting it meet vaguely a touch of the fabric of the dress.
Stripes of black and white following each other in circles around her body, interrupted by a wide leather belt before they continued until her knees. The strapless dress was so playful, it made her body strangely less tired, but that didn't fit with her face. She had been crying, Lucas could tell because a very small trace of ruined black mascara defaced her smooth cheek.
Without any announcement or reason to do anything like that, she stepped towards him and pressed a very soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. Her hand resting on the beginning of his shoulder, feeling the muscles under the skin stiffen. Then she turned around and walked straight to the door which connected her and her husband's room. The way she walked betrayed something ... something Lucas couldn't place, but in the way she had looked at him just seconds okay, he could feel ... a change was going to come.
He followed her but stopped just before the door when she heard her voice speak. "Pete." This specific tone he couldn't bring home. He peeked through the small opening between the door and the doorway and saw her standing there before Pete who was sitting on the couch.
She began to speak, dragging Lucas' body even closer towards the door.
"I have to tell you something." She began, trying receive her husband's attention. "It's important." She had to say before getting his attention. "Yesterday evening we really got caught up in this fight. And you think probably I am here to beg for forgiveness on my bare knees like I have been doing the past two years when things turned wrong between us. Every time we had I fight I came crawling back to you, crying hysterically while begging for you to forgive me. Even if it wasn't my fault we got into a fight. And you always forgave me, even I had said such mean and hurting words, what could you do on the other side. We always ended making up with this promises of love and the fact things never would end up in a fight again."
She took a deep breath, letting the air fill her lungs, encourage her to go on with what she started.
"Empty promises." Came out bitter. "Because now I am not here to beg you to forgive me." Pete's face crashed into a frightened expression all at once. "I realised something. Those words I spoke yesterday, I don't regret them. And you probably want to know why?" She said before Pete could interrupt her flood of words.
"Because they are true, I meant every single on of them. This morning when I woke up, I realised things which will change my life."
Again breath travelled down towards her lungs.
"I am not supposed to be here. Being this person I am now. Trying to fit into her while I know I will never become her. The person you want me to be."
Pete's brown eyes seemed to fill with tears but Peyton carried on ruthless, not giving him a chance to turn around what started.
"Two years ago I was broken, because my life got suddenly to intense. I found no rest, I couldn't get what I wanted. You came along and gave me this opportunity to run away from all the misery which had built itself up over the years. In the back of my head, when I waved my dad goodbye, I knew that running away from my true longings wasn't going to help. But I was still too young and too naïve I realise now, even I though I wasn't at the time, because I thought they had shook me out of it. Apparently the black misery didn't, but yesterday night it did shake me out of it, this childish naivety."
Pete looked extremely pale when she spoke out those words. Every word took away something from him.
"I am tired of this life, Pete. I get sick by the realisation that I just wasted two years of my life by being here. All this trying has no meaning more to me, because this isn't what I wanted, I am a fool for telling myself that I wanted this life, for pretending towards everyone that this was a dream coming true. It maybe was, the excitement, the music and the travelling was what I longed for, but there are so many other things that I dreamt and dream about who aren't here. The most important things."
Lucas could feel her fighting against the threatening tears. Her voice became struggling, sucked the energy out her body to continue.
"I miss my family, or at least the ones who remain of it. I miss my friends, and I feel indescribably bad for shutting them out of my life. I miss my home, the house and town where I grew up. These memories of everyone who is me dear seem to blur. The lessons I learned there, the things I found there. They seem so surreal."
Lucas found it difficult to keep all the tears inside. But it must be harder for Pete, the hardest for Peyton.
"I am scared that things are slipping away from me. This memories of my childhood and my mom become so vaguely, they make me hesitate of they have ever been there. This memories of my first day at high school, my first cheerleading game, my first kiss, the first time I had sex, my first time being in love for real ... I feel like that they are thing I haven't done. That they don't attach my personality anymore. They used to be the pieces of the fitting puzzle of my personality. But they are not the pieces of this personality I try to measure myself desperately. And I don't want it anymore, I want them to be my pieces! I want it back, my life!"
Pete rose up, ready to stop her from talking but the words which followed were unexpected.
"I want back what I left behind!" Pete grasped her arm, making her stop for a moment when he shouted at her.
"Stop it Peyt! Stop it, don't say something you don't mean! Stop it fool!" Lucas could feel his blood start to boil by Pete's words.
"I am sorry!" She screamed back. "I am sorry but I just don't love you anymore!"
She moved so heavily and unexpected Pete couldn't hold her and she ran away, flew past Lucas who had been listening. A sharp, short noise demanded Lucas' attention. He ran into the room and found loud sobs coming from the bathroom.
As he entered the bathroom he found her leaning on the sink, her head against the cool stone. It seemed like she couldn't get any descent air because the sobs followed each other so swiftly. He was ready to comfort her when a shinning thing caught his attention. Her wedding ring laid behind her, guilty lighted up by the harsh light. His hand was about to reach for it when he saw a red spot inside of it. His gaze flew over the floor and found the same red spots on the floor. Slowly, drops of blood were falling on the ground.
Quickly he pulled Peyton away from the sink, letting her weakened body collided with his. Her tears carried the confident she had just minutes ago. Carefully he reached for her hand, found the bleeding spot where was supposed to be her wedding ring. He drew it closer to his body and brought it to his chest.
Her precious blood wetted the spot on his blue shirt were his heart was hidden under. He pulled her closer, assuring her silent comfort. When her life seemed to be falling into to pieces, come to an end ... she didn't realise ... that it was only to begin.