It's Not A Side Effect Of The Cocaine. I Am Thinking It Must Be Love
A lonely breath got stuck in her throat when her green emerald eyes met his crystal blue ones. Out of the blue Peyton felt herself falling, falling into the unexplored and unexpected. All the noise from the Chicago streets seemed long gone. It seemed to have drifted to places far away because the only thing she heard was her swift breathing, which was matched by the rhythm from the boy underneath her. Suddenly there were no thoughts in her head, it was empty. Her body travelled downwards very slowly, as if it was in slow motion.
But then, then she felt a warm, shuddering breath colliding with her face, and she then noticed the rhythm of the beating heart beneath her fingertips was racing as fast as hers. It was then that everything came rushing back. Lucas lying underneath her with his lips slightly parted, with the most intense look in his eyes.
Mentally, she cursed and quickly got up, away from him. Peyton couldn't suppress the words of strange disapproval that appeared from under her breath.
Lucas lay on the floor, still confused, as he saw her step away from him.
"What's up Peyton?" He asked, his voice cracking from sudden confusion.
"I am hungry." She said quickly, running a hand through her curly hair. "I am going to order something the kitchen. Would you like anything?" She asked at an even quicker pace, hiding the fact that she was swept of her feet by what happened not even a minute ago.
"Whatever you're having is fine by me." Lucas said while he got up, hiding his confusion with a grin. Peyton just smiled and disappeared through the door. Immediately after she closed it, she leaned up against it, closing her eyes. Her hands were shaking and her heart was beating heavily, as droplets of sweat rolled down her back. She let her chest swell, letting the dry hotel air fill her lungs before she let it escape again. Trying to find some sort of comfort and peace in the darkness behind her eyelids, she closed her green eyes, blocking out the world. But in a strange way, that darkness wasn't black, but it was blue and it took the shape of human eyes.
Heat consumed her from head to toe. But then she felt that it wasn't a heat, or at least not the one she was used to. This heat that had only showed up the last two years on several occasions, the last time being on her wedding night, but this wasn't a heat this was warmth. This was more a longing, a loving, and she hadn't felt it since she left Tree Hill. A comfortable blanket around her skin, rather than the obsessive cocoon she was used to.
Peyton's eyes flew open, and her breathing was a struggling series of uneven gasps. What the hell was happening to her? But she took no time to think about it and shoved the question away, into the back of her mind.
Forcefully she walked to the elevator and rode it downstairs. She was aware of the people staring at her, looking at her like she was a stranger and not a celebrity. Her appearance was way below her standard. No glitz or glamour this time. No, she was only wearing dark basic Levi's, a khaki tank top and a weird jacket, with no shoes to finish off. She didn't care about to criticising gazes on her, because this outfit was a 'comfort' outfit. Every item of clothing had special meaning to her.
The jeans, she had bought them when she and Brooke had gone out shopping the last time. The tank top was almost an exact copy of one that her mother had owned. She had always worn a top like that when she was working in their garden. Then there was the 'jacket'. Well, it didn't look too much like a jacket. Pete had always made fun of it and had called it a camping blanket because of how it looked. Peyton of course saw the similarities, it was the same fabric, warm colours and pattern, but this had a big blue bright button sewn on to it.
She remembered the day she got it. It was a 'present' from her dad. She remembered that autumn day like no other. Peyton had been sketching the afternoon away at the dock, waiting on her dad to arrive. He did, in the late afternoon. The hug she and her father had shared still made her smile, she had clung onto him and he had joked about it. It was good to have him home for a while, she had been planning a million of things to do with him and was about to tell him when he said he had to leave again before midnight. Larry had seen the sadness in his daughter's face and promised her that next time he would be home longer. They had decided to make the best of their few hours together.
First they had eaten in a small restaurant and after that they made a long walk along the ships at the dock. The warmth of the afternoon was soon quickly replaced by the coldness, and feeling his daughter shiver against him, seeing her only wear a jeans skirt and a red tank top, made Larry walk her to a little store. There he bought this jacket for her. Peyton had first laughed about it, but then when she put it on, she was thankful for having it because it was comfortable and warm. It made her feel closer to her dad, for all those times when he was so far away from her.
Soon Peyton found herself in the part of the building where only staff were allowed, but she kept walking, not caring that she shouldn't actually be there. She almost had reached the kitchen when she bumped into Elle.
"Hi." Peyton said, greeting the girl with a smile.
"Hello." Elle greeted back uncomfortably. "What are you doing here?" The French girl asked while burying her hands into the pockets of her work dress.
"Ordering food by the kitchen" Peyton answered happily.
"You could have just called downstairs." Elle added quietly, not daring to tell her she wasn't tolerated here.
"I know, but I felt like walking."
Peyton simply shrugged her shoulders, while Elle still felt uncomfortable in the other blonde's presence. When she closed her eyes she could relive the fight she had with her all over again, and it left her wondering what they were now, friends or not. At the very least they had been friends before that fight. How many nights had they spent together holding girlish slumber parties in Peyton's room? They had been out shopping a few times. Elle had been there so many times when Peyton was getting herself ready for a celebrity event. But that one fight had finished it all.
"What do you want to order? I need to pass by the kitchen." Elle said, breaking the awkward silence.
"Peyton's fast food meal," Peyton said and Elle knew exactly what that meant and smiled.
"I'll bring it up when it's ready."
The curly blond laughed and suddenly embraced the blonde with the straight hair, letting her stiffen in her arms. Elle had no idea what to do, but loosely responded.
"See you later" and Peyton bounced off, leaving Elle slightly shocked, but in a good way.
The curly blonde almost ran back to her room, but when she neared the door, that warmth surprised her again. Her hands went back to shivering and her heart's pace picked up again. It totally freaked her out. But again she ignored it, telling herself she was an immature girl and that role didn't fit her. She was just being …
Her slender fingers embraced the doorknob and opened the door to find Lucas carefully wrapping up his pyjama tee, making it ready for its trip to Tree Hill, as promised to his mom. Peyton took a seat in the chair opposite of him. They both didn't say a word, but there was some sort of tension between them. Minutes passed and Peyton felt the warmth growing again.
"Does it sound stupid that I am thinking about writing my own version of 'Hey There Delilah' by the Plain White T's for Lily?" He asked out of the blue, making Peyton almost jump up of her chair, as she was not excepting his deep voice. "You know, since I've kind of being singing my own version for her since I left Tree Hill."
"It-it sounds great Lucas." Her voice came out sounding so different.
"Do you mind if I do it now?"
He added swiftly seeing her slight confusion. "Write it out… the lyrics."
"It's okay, I don't mind."
Lucas picked up his blue pen and an untouched sheet of white notebook paper. Then he began, his game, chasing away the white of the paper, replacing it with words written in dark blue. Peyton couldn't help but stare at him. He looked as if he were in another world, so intense, so far away. Every single time he looked up, Peyton broke her gaze and timidly looked elsewhere. It happened again and again. This cat and mouse game was familiar to her, and a smile tugged on the corners of her pink lips … the memories of her and Lucas in the library not too long after they first met.
The memory of who she used to be came rushing back. Then suddenly the imagine of herself: a curly blonde in a mini denim skirt, dark tank top, a black leather jacket and Converse All Stars on her feet, was broken by white and blue, a words on a piece of paper written in a boyish handwriting.
"Read it." He said softly and after that Peyton's eyes began to fly over the sheet of paper, taking every single word in. They were written with so much love … it took her breath away.
Hey there Lily
What's it like in Tree Hill
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl, tonight you look so pretty
Yes, you do
Tree Hill moon can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true
Hey there Lily
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice
It's my disguise
I'm by your side
Oh, it's what you do to me
Oh, it's what you do to me
Oh, it's what you do to me
Oh, it's what you do to me
What you do to me
Hey there Lily
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me, girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this book
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good
Hey there Lily
I've got so much left to say
If every simple sentence I wrote to you
Would take your breath away, I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all
Oh, it's what you do to me
Oh, it's what you do to me
Oh, it's what you do to me
Oh, it's what you do to me
A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
And we'll just laugh along because
We know that none of them have felt this way
Lily, I can promise you
That by the time that we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame
Hey there Lily
You be good and don't you miss me
A few years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Lily
Here's to you
This one's for you
Oh, it's what you do to me
Oh, it's what you do to me
Oh, it's what you do to me
Oh, it's what you do to me
What you do to me
"It's beautiful Luke," Peyton said.
Lucas sat there just staring at her; an uncomfortable silence tumbled down on them with neither of them daring to speak. Peyton decided to be the brave one, to break this and ask him what he meant with 'this book', but a knock on the door interrupted her.
Sensing that it would be Elle, she jumped up to walk over to the door and opened it. It was Elle, with three pizza boxes and two six packs Stella Artois in her arms. She responded to Peyton's bright appearance with a smile and walked over to the table to put the food down. She also received a warm smile from Lucas.
A few seconds of silence danced around the three. Words on the verge of being spoken but never came out. A hungry Peyton sat herself down at the table and opened one of the pizza boxes. Lucas could only laugh at Peyton's childish behaviour and stood up to walk Elle out. "Thanks Elle." He softly said so Peyton wouldn't hear. "Thanks for telling me everything." The girl smiled weakly and was very surprised when Lucas kissed her lightly on the cheek.
They both couldn't help but freeze on the spot when they heard Peyton's voice rise up, but they soon relieved by Peyton's words. "Why don't you eat with us Elle?" She suggested, a slice of bolognaise pizza in her hand.
"Thanks, but I am still working." She said before disappearing through the open door. Lucas closed it and went back to sitting at the table beside Peyton who was eating so quickly you would have thought she was starving.
Lucas laughed and she felt his intense stare on her and couldn't help but feel shy and somehow taken back and embarrassed. Then Lucas also took a slice and began to eat very properly, not spilling anything, which could not be said of Peyton. Lucas' stare got more intense with every second that ticked away, making Peyton feel uncomfortable around him.
"What?" She said after a while, not able to bear all this feelings that fought inside her.
"You kind of have pizza on your face." Peyton closed her eyes.
"Now?" She mumbled as she made an attempt to wipe away the filth from her lips, but she kept moving her thumb up and down the right corner of her mouth when it was on the left. Lucas smiled widely and reached out for her, wiping away the delicious crumbs with his thumb. Without knowing why, an explosion took place in Peyton, an outburst of tickling feelings that made her lean into his touch.
What the hell was happening? The question flew from one side to the other in Peyton's mind. Her palms were sweaty and she couldn't bear his gaze, a simple touch or gesture made her like burning up inside …
She needed a break, and reached out for a can of beer. She felt relieved when she heard the noise as it opened. She putted the can of Stella Artois to her lips and took a few big gulps, and the alcohol instantly had an effect on her. She hadn't drunk in months, since she knew she was pregnant she hadn't touch any alcoholic drink. Only a sip of champagne when she had celebrated founding out the baby she had been carrying was a girl, her little Roxanne. She knew as she drank now, she would be drunk in a short time, but she needed to calm herself and booze, it seemed, was the only way at the moment.
Seeing that Lucas had followed her example, Peyton emptied the can in less as a minute. She then stood up, and moved to crash on the couch with another pizza box. Lucas could already tell that Peyton wouldn't need much more time or alcohol. He himself would be more careful, knowing he wasn't a great drinker. He didn't want to end up so drunk that he couldn't stand anymore, remembering the times he had that hadn't ended up so nice, like with Nikki for example.
He crashed onto the couch beside her with the other pizza box. They both ate and drank further in silence, feeling the tension that had built up between them melt away as the alcohol level increased in their blood.
After three cans of beer each, they began on the second six pack. As she began on her fourth can, Peyton picked up Lucas' version of 'Hey There Delilah', 'Hey There Lily' and then fell back into the sofa beside Lucas.
She tried to focus on the words but the letters danced in front of her green eyes. Only a few words broke through her blurry vision. "Are you in love with your sister Lucas?" She asked slurring, sounding silly to him, but to herself, she couldn't have been more serious.
Lucas was also a bit further away from the world as usual, the alcohol driving him away further and further every minute that he looked at her. "Maybe," he answered before bursting into giggles. "She's just so perfect, the ultimate mix between my mom and Keith. The thick brown hair, the wide eyes, that big heart of hers, she would do anything just to make another person happy, even she won't be. Just like Keith." A tear rolled down Lucas' cheek, the alcohol made his emotions escape from where they were safely hidden.
"Ooh Luke." Peyton immediately put everything aside when she saw the tear travel down his face. "Luke," she said, full of sympathy and took the stuff out of his hands. Then she nestled against his broad chest, as he moved his arms around her. "It's all going to be okay Luke." She said and looked up at him and saw his broken blue eyes sadly looking down at her. "Believe me." She said softly and ran a hand over his two days old stumble. Like the weather of a summer day, tears that filled his endless blue eyes faded away, as they were driven away by a spark of hope, like a promising ray of sunlight.
Peyton felt the warmth again, it was wrapping her in. All at once, she just got it. She knew why it was so familiar, why it felt so safe, why she felt so herself. She had felt it before, years before ... the last time she lay in Lucas' arms …
The last time she was in love with him.