What if I told you
It was all meant to be
Would you believe me,
Would you agree
It's almost that feelin'
We've met before
So tell me that you don't think I'm crazy
When I tell you love has come here and now...

A moment like this
Some people wait a lifetime,
For a moment like this
Some people search forever,
For that one special kiss
Oh, I can't believe it's happening to me
Some people wait a lifetime,
For a moment like this

A Moment Like This

John's POV

Cole's Eleven Years Old

It was hot to say the least. And I still had to get started working on the Impala, it had developed a strange rattling that could be one of a few things and it needed to be looked at. I grabbed a beer and headed out the back door into Bobby's garage. Sam and Dean were watching TV and Bobby had run out to the store, so I got kid duty. Cole was running around here somewhere probably upstairs with her nose in a book or something.

I'd been working on the Impala for about thirty minutes when the garage door opened and Cole came outside. She settled herself on the edge of the bumper, watching me work with her arms crossed. I paused in the process of loosening a bolt on the gasket cover. "You need something?" I asked her curiously.

She looked at me, a smile on her young face. "No. I just wanted to see what you were doing," she said.

I frowned, turning back to the bolt. "I'm working on the car," I responded vaguely.

She continued watching me, and I sighed cursing under my breath as the wrench slipped from the bolt. She raised an eyebrow at me, "Are you sure you know what you're doing?" She asked skeptically.

Hanging my head, I glanced at her. "Don't you have homework you need to be doing?" I said trying to get her out of my hair.

She rolled her eyes at me. "It's summer duh! Besides you just want to get rid of me because you have no clue what you're doing," she said, giggling up at me as I straightened, looking down at her. Well it didn't look like I was going to be able to get rid of her, so I might as well teach her something.

I turned my back on her, moving to the toolbox. "All right squirt, come here," I said beckoning her closer. She hopped down off the Impala and bounded over to me energetically. I held up a box wrench. "Okay this is a box wrench. You use this to tighten bolts. Rightie tightie, leftie loosie," I sifted through the tools looking for a socket wrench. "And this one," I said continuing my lesson, "is a socket wrench." I handed it to her; in no time at all, she was swinging the wrench around laughing at the sound it made. "Easy now slugger, don't hit yourself in the face with that."

For a kid she was extremely bright, and the girl already had an attitude. She would definitely give some poor fool a run for his money one day. I felt pity for the moron that dared to care for her; her dad would probably shoot him, and I could imagine I'd be shoulder to shoulder with him.

She caught on fast and in no time at all I had her tightening and loosening bolts for me, I kept a grip on one arm as she leaned under the hood of the Impala. One major plus is her tiny hands could get into places and access some bolts I couldn't.

June 22nd, 1990

I feel lighter today. A tiny bit more at peace with the hand my family has been dealt. I spent some time with Bobby's daughter teaching her a little bit about tools, simple things she'll need to know one day. She's a bright girl. I can see some poor sap having his hands full with her one day she is definitely opinionated. I also feel bad for the boy dumb enough to take on her dad. He's going to get shot. At least once twice, if I still happen to be around.

Cole's POV

Cole's Twelve Years Old

It was early morning, maybe 5AM. I didn't mind, I liked morning because it was cool, the perfect time to get in some training. Dean, Sammy, John, Daddy and I were all out in the garage, going over hand-to-hand combat techniques. Dean and I usually were paired together since we were closer in age and "the parentals" didn't want us hurting the kid.

Today they had us throwing and blocking punches. Sammy was sitting on the sidelines watching, they didn't have him participating so much, after all he was only seven.

Dean was in full-blown making fun of the girl mode. I hated being the only girl. Sometimes I wish I'd had a sister, or at least Sam and Dean had a sister. It sucked being the only girl in a house full of boys. Dean and I were nothing special; we tended to fight like cats and dogs. We were so close in age, and we teased each other and tried to one up each other all the time. He was a major pain in the butt.

I had just thrown a punch in his direction, which he managed to block without putting much effort into it. "Cole, you hit like a girl," he said in a singsong voice.

"I am a girl you dummy!" I snapped as I threw another punch, which he also blocked. In response, Dean was already swinging at me and caught me in the nose. Dammit! I don't care what movies look like after someone punches you in the nose, this stuff actually hurts.

"Ow jerk face!" I said trying to control the tears in my eyes. If I cried, I would never live it down. I blinked back tears as Dad came over to look at my nose. Sammy moved closer to get a better look, probably wanting to see the blood, and whether it was real.

Dean was dancing around behind my dad looking very proud of himself, miming punching me in the face. "Dean!" John barked and immediately the smile fell from Dean's face and he straightened up looking guilty. "Knock it off, boy!" He said glaring at his son and coming over to check out my broken nose with daddy.

A huge smile grew on my face. Ha! Serves him right. The moment his dad's back was turned Dean began dancing around again. I couldn't help myself. I jerked away from my dad, raced around John and up to Dean who at present had his back turned to me. I tapped him on his shoulder and when he turned back around to face me, I raised up my foot as fast and as high as I could, kicking him in the balls.

September 10th, 1991

Dear Diary,

Dean made me so mad today. We were training and he was being a jerk and teasing me. Well I could have handled that, but then he punched me in the face. So I kicked him in the nuts. That made me feel a lot better. I felt even better when John told him to quit teasing me or he'd never get to have grand-kids. I learned a new trick.

John's POV

Cole's Fifteen Year's Old

The boys and I were at Bobby's watching a movie it was boring. Seeing war movies, after having actually been in a war, sucked. The directors always messed things up, the actors never managed to look terrified enough for what was actually happening on screen, and it brought back a mess of memories I never wanted to think about again.

My phone was going off. I don't think I'd ever been so happy to get a phone call around nine o'clock at night. I glanced at the screen, Cole.

"Hello." I said into the receiver, Sam and Dean looked around at me as Dean turned down the volume. Somehow, Dean always got the clicker.

"John, hey could you come and get me please?" Cole's voice sounded on the other end of the line. She sounded pissed.

"You okay?" I asked grabbing my jacket and heading for the door. Her date was supposed to bring her home tonight. Where the hell was he?

"I'm fine! I'm at the park on 5th street. I could use this jerk for some target practice let me tell you. Maybe darts or throwing stars. Hey do we have any of those?" She asked, rambling on. Something was up. But Cole wasn't going to tell me about it over the phone.

I slid into the driver's seat in the Impala, clenching one fist around the steering wheel. I think I'd found the first candidate for human target practice. "Hey. Hey Cole!" I said breaking into her rant about boys. "I'll be there in a few minutes. Stay within the flood lights and keep aware, I'm coming." I said now I was anxious and pissed off, little son of a bitch. I knew when he showed up we should have had all the guns lying out on the kitchen table.

"Okay. Thanks John," she said her voice furious and almost sounding on the verge of tears.

I pulled into the parking lot and Cole was sitting on the picnic table under the gazebo, I cut the lights once I had the car turned off and jumped out. Cole was wiping tears from her face. I pulled myself up onto the picnic table beside her, not saying anything, waiting for her to start talking.

Cole sniffled and ran a frustrated hand over her face, wiping away more tears. "I hate boys," she said her voice sounding thin and watery. I just watched her, putting my arm around her shoulders and pulling her in close to comfort her.

"Sweetheart what happened?" I asked softly as she started to shake underneath my shoulder.

"Nothing. It's fine. I just needed a ride home," she snapped her attitude rising.

I gave her a moment of silence to squirm, and then tried again. "If you tell me what's happened I'm sure we can fix it." I said calmly.

"You know what? I don't want to talk about it. You wouldn't understand anyways, you're a guy, you'd see his point of view," she snarled hotly.

I glanced down sharply at her. "You called me Cole. You said you needed help and here I am, so how about you lose the damn attitude and tell me what's going on." I said heatedly, damn teenagers. They all thought they were the only ones who could understand their problems. That parents couldn't handle things or didn't remember what it felt like to be their age.

She looked up at me, tears still swimming in her defiant doe eyes. She was just a kid, needing comfort, needing someone to make it better. Yet she was still going to attempt to fight me tooth and nail over her independence. She stared at me stubbornly, moving away.

She'd gotten control over her tears it seemed like, the anger having won out over crying. I opened my mouth to try again. "You know we can either sit here in the cold, crying. Or we can go home where it's warm and we can talk about it." I said, making an effort to lose the stern tone I typically had when the boys were wearing on my nerves.

She narrowed her eyes, assessing me suspiciously. Damn she must really not want to talk about it. I thought, curiosity was going to get me killed; now I had to know what had happened.

I nudged her with my shoulder, "What's it gonna be?" I said to her. "Cold where we're freezing our butts off, or home where there's food and movies?"

She grinned at me, an idea lightening her eyes. This was gonna cost me. "Can we just take a minute?" She asked softly, her grin faltering a little. "I'm hungry and I'm not quite ready to go home yet."

"You're always hungry." I quipped at her. She shoved me, shivering a little inside of her jacket.

I stepped down offering her a hand to help her down from the picnic table. She rolled her eyes at me, wiping her hands on her jeans, before taking my proffered hand and allowing me to help her down. "Well I could eat." I said leading her to the Impala by the hand.

The engine roared to life, and I looked over at Cole. "Well my dear, what'll it be?" I asked her chivalrously, earning a grin from her.

She thought for a minute. "Oh that diner on Adelaide. They have good homemade pizza," she said with a smile.

I frowned, considering. "Wow, usually the term diner and pizza don't go together."

She snorted at that. "I know, right?" she replied.

"Let's go," I said with a shrug.

It didn't take us long to get to the diner, and with it being almost 9.30PM on a Thursday evening there weren't very many people out and about.

I waited until the waiter walked away from bringing us our drink orders, hot chocolate for Cole, and coffee for me.

"So," I said, turning to face Cole who was eating all the whipped cream from the top of her hot chocolate. "You want to talk about why I had to come pick you up after your date left you somewhere?" I asked her cautiously, not wanting to set off the waterworks now that I'd cheered her up again.

Her face became stony, she fell silent the twinkle falling from her eyes and she glared at her hot chocolate like it had burned her. Uh oh. I knew we should have asked to see the kid's driver's license. It was probably a good thing I didn't have a girl because if I felt one tenth for her the protectiveness I felt for Nicole, there wouldn't be enough males left to repopulate the earth.

"Okay then. Guess not." I said trying to cheer her back up again. I should have just kept my mouth shut. I glanced down at my hands, my eyes falling on my ring.

"Would you tell me…" Cole asked, trailing off mid-sentence. I glanced up at her, confused.

"Tell you what?" I asked curiously. She bit her lip, shaking her head at me.

"No young lady you can't pull that one on me. You've got to tell me something Cole." I said with a grin. She was going to finish at least one thought tonight if it killed her.

She rolled her eyes glancing away from me. She bit her lip again, glancing back at me. "Tell me about your first date. With Mary," she said her expression eager and eyes hopeful.

I sat back in my seat, floored. Why would she want to hear an old man's story about his first date with his wife? I licked my lips, wrapping my mind around the memory. I could use this to my advantage.

I nodded firmly at her. "Okay." I said leaning forward. "I'll tell you the most embarrassing first date I've ever been on, if you tell me what happened tonight. Deal?" I asked pinning her with a steely gaze.

She hesitated, and almost backed out. The girl was so transparent we were going to have to work on her poker face. She sighed nodding her head. "Ok. But just so you know I'm only agreeing to this because I'm a hopeless romantic, and you and Mary have an epic love story," she said with a grin.

I snorted laughter bubbling up when I felt like I hadn't laughed in years. "Epic love story?" I questioned. "How did you come up with that one?" I asked her through my laughter.

The waiter returned with our food, a small pizza for Cole, and a burger and fries for me.

She rolled her eyes at me. "Oh come on. You've done everything humanly possible to fight for her," she said lightly to me. "Now tell me, come on."

I closed my eyes taking a deep breathe a small smile playing across my face. "Okay, so, our first date? I picked her up from her dad's house; there were guns everywhere, on every available surface. So I'm thinking 'keep your shit in line Winchester. Breakfast, that's it'."

Cole giggled, smiling up at me. "Breakfast. That's not a date," she informed me softly.

"Well I'm aware of that now." I said grinning back at her. "Anyway, we went to this little diner in Lawrence. I remember we ate and it was just about that time we were getting ready to leave. It had started out good, actually awesome even. And I remember feeling like I didn't want to leave." I said glancing up at Cole with a reminiscent smile on my face.

"So what did you do?" She asked me, hanging on my every word. Her face was excited and hopeful, like she was listening to a real life fairytale. Turned horror story.

"Well I made the mistake of ordering some pie." I said sheepishly.

Cole looked at me confused. "So what? Why should that matter?" She asked incredulously.

"It was breakfast." I said as a way of explanation.

"I still don't see what the problem is?" Cole said. "So you ordered pie for breakfast. Why would that matter so much?" She asked curiously.

"Well Mary and I didn't exactly like each other when we first met. I mean don't get me wrong she was beautiful, one of the prettiest women I'd ever seen. But I wasn't entirely sold, not until this fight." I said explaining my relationship with Mary to Cole. This was something not even the boys knew. And they probably never would.

"I remember I ordered us two slices, and Mary just looked at me, like is he joshing me? And when her eyes darkened and her mouth was set in a stubborn frown line I was hooked. She argued with me for a good long while about how pie was not a legitimate breakfast item. She was so set in her ways I'm surprised I even got her to finish the date with me." I said with a light chuckle.

The memory of that fight, the first of many, made me happy. It had been more of an irritation than a fight. Sometimes I wondered how on earth Mary and I had gotten together, we were so incredibly different, or maybe we were too alike. Either way some outside force must have been involved in some way. We couldn't stand each other, even on that first date we'd been fighting, yet she'd given me two strong healthy sons, and when she died and left us all alone I'd made it my life's mission to find and hunt down what had killed her.

"So what did you say in your defense?" Cole asked laughter in her eyes.

"I told her that it was never too early for pie, or too late, or too cold, or hot." I said glancing at Cole as we shared a smile.

"It's one of life's simple pleasures." We both said together, in complete understanding.

Cole smiled shyly down at her hands, and then looked up at me with the barest smile. I eyed her. She was little more than a child emerging into a world of monsters, how could she find love in a world like ours?

December 4th, 1994

Dear Diary,

I still want to believe in fairy tales. I really do but having been raised in a world of darkness surrounded by vile evil creatures, it's hard. I want to believe that eventually I will find that one person that would be absolutely anything I needed them to be a friend, a lover, a partner. Someone who knows me, the real me, and isn't afraid to hurt my feelings, but also won't run from a fight. I want someone who is strong enough to stand and defend me the same that I would do for them.

But true love is little more than a fairytale. It means you fight and the fight is the passion. But it scares me. I don't want to fight. All my parents did was fight. That is all I remember about them, the fighting and the butting heads, but I do know they loved each other. I don't want to be that way. I don't ever want to fall in love. I hope I never fall in love. Because then you have to say goodbye to someone and the last thing you ever did was fight.

Cole's POV

Cole's Sixteen Year's Old

I was rushing. I had a date that had started a minute ago and he was downstairs with my dad. Crap! I hurriedly applied lipstick and a quick round of eyeliner. I stepped back looking at myself in the mirror. I was one hundred percent positive I looked hot.

Turning to the door, I grabbed my jacket and slipped on my heels. I hurried down the stairs moving through the hallway fast, trying to lessen the psychological damage my father could inflict upon my date.

My phone was going off indicating I had a text message, and I rummaged around in my bag for it, coming up empty. I never saw the bathroom door open. But I was almost knocked off balance, in more ways than one, by John as he came out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel.

My mouth went dry and my heart started pounding. I paused taking a mental step back, my eyes covertly trailing over his body. Damn…

"Uh sorry… I didn't see you there." I stammered, struggling to get something, anything out. And not sound like a complete moron. "I'm just…." I trailed off pointing down the hall.

He chuckled. "Yeah. Same," he nodded in the direction of the spare bedroom he and the boys stayed in.

"I'm late for a date." I stated lamely. My cheeks were coloring embarrassingly.

"Be careful out there. Make sure to let us know if we can use him for some target practice," he said, a smile lighting up his face.

I smiled and moved to my right and he moved with me, blocking my path. I let out a nervous chuckle. "Sorry." I said quietly, feeling the blood rush to my cheeks, what was I ten?

I moved to my left and he once again was blocking me in as we awkwardly kept stepping in the wrong direction. I reached out putting my hands on his chest to keep him where he was. I swear my palms were tingling like I'd touched an electric fence. The feeling was intense I stiffened in awareness. The feeling was uncomfortable, and it made me feel edgy, and restless.

John moved to the side, his back to the wall and I stepped past him. I did a swift intake of breath when my thigh brushed against his as I stepped around him, everywhere I touch him feels like it's been hit with a live wire. Reluctantly I moved away from him dropping my hands from his chest and I was missing the contact already. I half turned to walk down the stairs.

I wasn't ready to give this moment up. I turned back to John, as he was making his way to the spare room. "I.. John," I said nervously calling his attention to me. He looked up at me, confusion written on his face. "How do I look?" I asked attempting a casual smile.

He took a minute to properly look at me, and when his eyes met mine, he displayed a myriad of emotion all at once, so much and so fast, I couldn't even begin to comprehend any of them. "You look beautiful, Nicole," he said with a small smile.

Dumbfounded, I stared at him like a love struck idiot. No one but dad called me Nicole. Ever. I licked my lips turning back to the stairs. A huge grin crossed my face. I liked it.

August 16th, 1995

Dear Diary,

My mother would always tell me when I was younger that I'd know when I met my soul mate. She used to tell me that he would be the one soul strong enough and brave enough to use my given name. She said that it would be magical. That the energy surrounding me, surrounding him, would change and become something different, new and exciting. Well the game has definitely changed, my father is going to kill me, and I'll be stuck in Hell for eternity.

John's POV

Cole's Seventeen Years Old

January 5th 1996 – John's Journal

I felt something today. Something I haven't felt since Mary. Actually, I may not have even felt anything near so strong with Mary, but that doesn't matter. It's definitely not something I am supposed to be feeling. That feeling - it was strong, it felt unbelievable, exciting. It's the reason I'm still awake at this hour.

Hearing a car in the driveway I hurriedly capped my pen and stowed my journal in my bag. Wouldn't do to have anyone see that particular entry. I turned my attention to the TV when I heard the scraping of the deadbolt; some sitcom was on.

"Hey!" Cole said turning back to deadbolt the door. "I didn't think anyone would still be up," she said softly moving up behind the couch. I turned to look at her, she looked okay, but something was off, she seemed weary, disappointed.

"Well you know me, I'm a total insomniac, only able to sleep for a few hours at a time. So I'm awake." I said with a grin at her.

She eyed the half-empty whiskey bottle and two tumblers on the table in front of me. Bobby's was empty of course, but mine still had a swallow in it. "You done?" She asked, picking up the glass and holding it up questioningly.

I raised an eyebrow at her, I knew from her late hours she was definitely no stranger to partying, however she'd never been so obvious about it to me before. I nodded at her, curious. Would she be able to handle it?

She tipped the remaining contents down her throat and I couldn't help watching her. She was beautiful, and one hundred percent off limits. I shifted uncomfortably, thinking I had to be in the same category as the demons and monsters I hunt. I should probably expect a hunter to come for me in the future and when they finally ganked me, I'd have a one way ticket to Hell.

She swallowed the remaining mouthful and closed her eyes as the burn slid down her throat, I grinned at her letting out a small chuckle. "You okay?" I asked, humor lightening my guilt ridden mood.

She let out a slight gasp, that indicated the shock of the burn. "Oh God that's good. When you've been partying on the crap that high school kids buy, then come home and get a hit of the good stuff, it's just that much better," she said with a grin.

She stood, taking the glasses with her and moving to the kitchen. I couldn't help but watch her walk away, she'd definitely grown up. "Do you want a beer?" She called to me. I had to force myself to pay attention to her question. I shouldn't, I really shouldn't be doing this. This was Bobby's daughter; I'd known her since she was ten years old.

"Yeah." I responded, my voice came out a bit hoarse. So I cleared my throat and tried again. "Please." I said calmly. The charge in the air was back. I could feel it. I was definitely going to Hell.

Cole's POV

Almost Eighteen Years Old

July 26th, 1996

Dear Diary,

The Winchesters are coming in today. Dad told me last night. I'm curious about the new girl they have with them. Her name is Beth. What's her training, how advanced is she? Can she shoot? What's her hand to hand like? Guess I'll find out soon.

Both Dad and John had me paired with Beth, they wanted me to show her the ropes on training. She'd been with them for a bit, hadn't John start her training yet? I couldn't see him letting her get out of anything, especially since their family unit was all about hunting. Basically you couldn't hunt you didn't have a place in the family: you were useless.

I was up first on today's rifle lesson, it was just me, Beth, and John. Dad had taken the boys elsewhere to work on security systems, or something. Dean actually gave me a worried look when he learned that he wasn't coming along. Warned me to go easy on the girl. Me? I'm a sweetheart!

I lined up my shot, dropping my form a bit, loosening my shoulder and elbow, instead of having the tight firm arm needed to handle the recoil on the rifle. I couldn't let the new girl feel bad when she missed. And Dean thought I was going to be mean to her. Please! I squeezed the trigger, and my aim was so far off, I hit a tree some hundred yards behind my intended target: currently a can of chicken noodle soup.

Turning to meet Beth's gaze I managed a disappointed look. I was a little conflicted. It wasn't like me to miss, and so this had been a big concession on my part: however I also felt excited. Missing meant an inspection of my form, which meant John, would have to get closer to fix it. I barely managed to contain an elated thrill running down my spine, it had been over six months since I'd seen him, and it had done nothing to stop my daydreaming heart.

Beth lined up her sights on the can and hit it dead on. A sincere smile graced her features. "Sorry," she said, apologetically. I frowned. She was good. Clearly, she had been training with them all this time, so why in Hell did they want me paired up with her for?

I shrugged. "Eh what are you gonna do?" I shot her a small smile, trying and failing to look suitably beaten. I just couldn't pull it off. "So... like... how long have you been working with rifles?" I asked, curious.

"Ummm, five months?" Beth said, shrugging. "Dean's had me practicing all the time," she said with a groan. I narrowed my eyes slightly I bet he did. Dean was always trying to show me up, and now he had the new girl shooting better than me!

"Okay, Nicole..." John said from behind me, startling me out of my revelry. I closed my eyes for a moment, letting that voice wash over me like a cool morning breeze. Only John or Dad called me Nicole, and only John nearly brought me to my knees when he said it.

I sighed and turned around, only to find him right behind me. I stopped, staring up into those deep brown eyes of his. He raised an eyebrow at me slightly and then looked over at Beth.

"Beth why don't you go practice on the targets set up over there," he pointed to a range Dad had set up about twenty yards away for long distance target shooting. "When you run out of ammo I want you to practice pulling the rifle apart and cleaning it, just like we did last week."

Beth nodded dutifully, taking her gun and box of ammo and walking over to the designated area. I watched her go out of the corner of my eye, and then turned a cheeky smile to John.

"Alone at last," I said with a raised eyebrow. John turned back to me and swallowed, shaking his head. He smiled, taking a step back and leaning against the fallen tree we were currently standing next to.

"How have you been Nicole?" He asked, crossing his arms casually.

"Eh, good, I guess. Bored. Not nearly as interesting as the six months you guys have had by the looks of things," I said, my gaze falling back to Beth who was now lining up her sights on some of the cans Dad had set up in the woods.

John looked over at Beth, a proud smile flicking across his face before returning to the usual stoic calm. "Hmmm, yes, it's definitely been... interesting," he said with a chuckle.

"I've missed you guys, why haven't you been here sooner?" I asked, getting straight to the point. They hadn't even called really, I think a few calls to Dad, certainly I hadn't gotten to talk to John all this time.

"Well we had to make sure Beth was all right," John said quietly. "She's been through a lot. I had to make sure it was going to work out."

"The boys seem to like her," I said, dancing around the question I really wanted to ask. Do you like her? Is she special?

There was a completely irrational part of me that was looking at Beth like competition to be picked off piece by piece. She was three years younger than me, what would John see in her? Then, I'd been her age when I'd started feeling things for him. What if she did too? She got to be with them every day!

John smiled and nodded. "Yeah, yeah I think they do. Sammy loves having a big sister he can come to when Dean and I are annoying him. Dean, well … I've had them training together, he didn't want to bring her along at first but now he seems to be enjoying having her around – she's been good for him, he's not so... sullen."

I raised an eyebrow, casting another look over at Beth who was reloading the rifle in front of her. I bet he wasn't. I thought ruefully.

"But enough about them... what has happened to your form young lady? Hasn't Bobby been letting you practice?" He asked, turning an assessing eye toward me.

I did my best to look defeated, shrugging and throwing my hands out a little "Well, I've been busy..." I said lamely, failing to come up with a decent excuse.

"Well, we'll have to make sure you get some decent practice in while we're here," he said with a twinkle in his eye.

I nodded, swallowing and trying not to look like a lovesick teenager. He gestured that I should take up the gun again, so I did, remembering to slacken my form.

"You need to tighten your hold Nicole," John said, stepping in behind me. I fought off a shiver of excitement as he reached around me, his hands brushing along my arms, chest pressed in to my back as he showed me the correct way to hold the rifle, tucked in to my shoulder.

"See?" He breathed into my ear, not pulling away like I expected.

"Yeah..." I said with a slight nod, turning to glance back at him slightly.

"Your grip needs to be light, like a handshake..," he said quietly into my ear. His breath trailed along my neck and I shivered, blinking hard and trying to concentrate, thank goodness I actually knew what I was doing or this lesson would be pointless, I wasn't taking in a thing.

"Right..." I said, relaxing my hand. I didn't have to fake it, I was so tense I felt like I was ready to snap.

John's hand slid over my right, his finger tracing my trigger finger, the barest of touches. "Keep it straight, rest it on the trigger guard until you're ready to fire," he instructed. I nodded, not trusting my voice to answer.

I'd deliberately stuck my elbow out, and my breath caught when he took it in hand, moving it to under the rifle, completely aligned. It was a rookie mistake, and I couldn't see how he believed I'd forgotten all this stuff, but whatever the case, he was playing along like he didn't suspect a thing.

"Cheek to stock weld," he commented, reminding me how I needed to hold my head to get the best aim.

I felt my breathing speed up a little as his hand slid around my waist, holding me pinned to him. "Okay, so... relax..," he said. Relax! Christ I was going to melt into a puddle here! All I could think about was ripping his clothes off and running my hands all along his body. I swallowed again and took a deep breath, trying to ignore the hand on my hip.

"Slow your breathing down," John said into my ear, he had to be feeling my heart racing, how could he not?

"Yeah... okay," I said, deliberately taking a couple of deep breaths and attempting to get the fact that his hand hadn't moved out of my mind.

I slipped into my kill zone, filtering out everything except the target: even John. I continued to take a few deep breaths, and then on one out breath, I waited until that split second between taking another in breath to pull the trigger gently, not jerk, and watched as the bullet zinged through the trees, hitting the can that was a good fifty yards away.

"Woo!" I said with a smile, leaning back into John. He didn't pull away, that much I noticed, and when I turned a smile to him, he was watching me quietly.

"Thanks," I said breathlessly, my mouth mere inches away from his.

"Well done," he said, a little smile turning his mouth up at the ends. He suddenly stepped back, running a hand through his hair, looking conflicted. I watched him pull back into himself, wrapped in an impenetrable cloak of his own thoughts and demons.

He looked over at Beth who was now holding a dismantled rifle, looking at it thoughtfully. I smirked. She's forgotten how to put it back together.

"Hey Bethie," John called out to her, "How's it going?" She looked up and sighed, holding up two pieces.

"I'm stuck!" She called back.

John chuckled and nodded, turning back to me. "Why don't you practice what we just went over? I'll go give her a hand."

"Yeah, sure, no worries. Thanks... John." I said, loving the sound his name made when it rolled off my tongue. He paused, almost as if he was taking that in, and then he was gone, striding over to help Beth.

John's POV

Cole's Nineteen Years Old

The deputy led me back to the holding cell with her, where four young girls were squeezed together on the cot, giggling and laughing. "Singer, you're up." Officer Mills said in a stern voice.

Cole's head snapped up. "Singer, oh that's me! Yay!" She giggled trying to raise from her place on the cot, but the two girls on either side of her wrapped their arms around her preventing her from rising.

"No Cole, you can't leave us. What if we get into trouble?" One girl asked pressing her face into Cole's neck while she attempted to hold her back.

The other girl pressed her face into Cole's chest. "What if we get assaulted?" She asked fearfully, although there was no one in the cell but the four girls who'd been brought in together.

Jodi Mills turned her head away from the girls as she fought back a smile, opening the cell door. Cole was having a bit of a problem disentangling herself from her friends.

"Well then I suggest you don't drop the soap!" Cole said breaking into another fit of giggles. The three girls remaining behind laughed weakly. They weren't as strong or as confident as Cole and they were clearly scared.

"Their parents are coming to get them right?" I asked Jodi.

She nodded at me grinning. "Yeah they're all on their way. You just got here first."

"Her father is away on a business trip," I said with a nod toward Cole. "But I'll make sure she gets home to bed where she can sleep it off." Jodi smiled in reply and nodded.

Cole finally rose on unsteady feet and hobbled her way over to me. Of course, the six-inch stilettos she was wearing weren't helping her walk given her drunken state. I waited just outside the cell door, and when she stumbled, I moved forward, catching her.

She looked up at me giggling. "Sorry," she said with a smile. "I tripped."

I arched an eyebrow giving her a stern look. "Mmm Hmm I can see that. Think you can make it out to the truck?" I asked, trying to keep my voice neutral and not show how affected I was being near her, especially since she was drunk off her ass.

I glanced back down at her, waiting for her response. She stared up at me, with those large doe eyes of hers and for a moment, just as moment I could pretend she was mine; that I was for once in my life coming out on top. "I'm not sure I can make it," she said her voice sounding thin and small. That was all the incentive I needed. With a sigh, I lifted her into my arms, and she snuggled into my chest, burrowing deep as we exited the police station. For one moment, she belonged to me.

I carefully placed her in the passenger seat of the truck, reluctant to break the contact. I grabbed the seat belt, using it as an excuse to stay near to her for a minute. Her soft voice broke me out of my conflicted thoughts. "John…" She said her voice a mere thread of sound. "Thank you for coming to get me. You're always taking care of me," she said with a slight sigh, her voice sounding drowsy, her eyes were closed and she was almost out.

I took a minute to let her voice wash over me. Always, Nicole. You call, I'll always come. I thought with a sigh. I closed the door as quietly as I could. Might as well let her sleep while she could. She was going to feel like Hell in the morning. I made my way to the driver's side door and started the engine on the Sierra.

The drive back to Bobby's was a slow one. I wasn't quite ready to end it. I found myself glancing at Cole as I drove. My gaze lingering on her, longer than it should. Hell I shouldn't have even been looking.

Cole was still asleep when I pulled into Bobby's driveway, so I walked around to the passenger side and opened her door, lifting her easily into my arms. I didn't want to think about how easily and perfectly she fit me, almost like a missing puzzle piece. I didn't miss the way she snuggled into my chest on this cool November morning, or the breathless way she sighed my name. I had been convinced up until this moment she was asleep, however now I wasn't so sure. I carried her through the darkened house moving through Bobby's living room until I reached the stairs.

Her room was at the very top of the house, in a converted attic. I got her into the room, and placed her down on the bed. She whimpered at the loss of contact as I moved away from her to pull off her shoes and cover her with a blanket. Cole sat up with a sigh, apparently giving up on her ruse of sleep. Shaking out the blanket, I pulled it around her shoulders, tightly wrapping her up.

She smiled lightly at me indicating next to her with a nod of her head. "You know you can sit down, I don't bite," her voice was husky, like she'd partied too hard or screamed herself hoarse. I swallowed. It was probably best if I didn't. It was best that I didn't indulge this fantasy too much. She was off limits, she was my best friend's daughter. And we were currently in her bedroom, alone in the house.

If there was ever an instinct I should ignore, it was this one. However against my intuition I settled myself next to her, and she curled right up into me. She tipped her head back to look at me. "Thanks again for coming to get me. I really appreciate it," she said, her voice low.

I smiled down at her. "No problem Nicole. If you ever need anything, I don't care what it is, you only need to pick up the phone and call me. I'll always come for you." I said my voice pitched low.

She moved then, climbing into my lap, facing me. My heart nearly stopped. We definitely shouldn't be doing this. I searched her face looking for the incentive to stop, and found no reason to. She lowered her mouth a fraction of an inch from mine, our breaths mingling together.

I found myself tense with anticipation, simply waiting. I knew this was wrong, I'd known it for years, however in this moment I couldn't bring myself to care. For one space of time we were simply two souls recognizing the other for what it was, our other half.

I waited, I knew what I wanted, but she needed to make the first move. I wouldn't stop her, but I had to know she wanted this too. She seemed to take forever lowering her mouth to mine, or perhaps she was waging the same war that I was and waiting to see which side won heart or head. Apparently heart won out because a moment later she lowered her mouth to mine hesitantly.

Again I waited for her to make the first contact, and the moment her tongue touched my lips was the sweetest taste I'd ever had. This was it then, the moment Adam and Eve tasted the forbidden fruit. And it tasted so damn good. I felt like I'd been hit with a Taser, sparks of electricity flowing through everywhere she touched. With a groan, I moved, angling the kiss deeper.

She grabbed the front of my shirt pulling me closer to her, moaning her consent. I cupped my hands around her face, brushing her cheekbones. My hands were tingling, I'd never felt so much energy generating from a single person.

It was then my self-preservation began to kick in. I paused pulling back for air, panting like I'd run a marathon. "We should stop," I said between breaths. But it was the last thing I wanted to do. For once I wanted to be selfish; I wanted something for myself.

Cole kissed her way down my throat, licking and sucking. I grit my teeth groaning against the sensation. God it felt so good. "Uh huh," she said, though it felt like anything but an agreement.

"Nicole, I'm serious, we need to stop." I said trying again. She returned to my mouth leaving a scorching fire raging through my bloodstream. Don't let her see sense in this, don't stop, don't ever stop.

She kissed me thoroughly and forcefully. I had a moment to wonder where a girl her age had learned to kiss this way, who else had she been kissing like this, and I growled at the thought. "God say it again," she said pushing her soft breasts into my chest. I was in Heaven. Next stop Hell.

"Nicole." I said softly unable to deny her anything in that moment. She moaned, arching into me. I closed my eyes enjoying the sensations pouring through me. She ground herself down onto me through my jeans. The delicious friction was enough to rob me of all thought.

I tried again, Christ did I want to take a cold shower. "I'm old enough to be your father," I said as I removed her shirt and buried my face into her neck, kissing my way down to her breasts.

"Well I guess it's a good thing you're not," she said arching her breast into my mouth and cradling my head to her body. "I'm nineteen years old I'm an…. adult," she said, breathlessly crying out the last word on a moan.

We broke apart as she jerked my shirt open. Apparently it was in her way. She drew back with a gasp when she saw my scarred torso. Her hand slipped from my shoulder tentatively touching a few scars. A knife wound, a bullet hole scarred over, a raking set of claws. She pushed me back on to the mattress and leaned forward trailing her mouth over each scar, unaware of the power she held.

"You're drunk," I tried finally, reaching for whatever reason I could think of. She sat up and smirked at me, running a teasing finger across my nipple.

"I'm not that drunk, actually," she confessed, raising an eyebrow at me. "Now..," she said as she pulled me into a seated position again, her tongue circling mine slowly. "Do you really, honestly, want me to stop?" She asked between kisses. "Tell me you want me to stop John."

I couldn't. I paused and looked at her, my eyes full of the desperation I felt, the urgent need to have her, to make her mine. She grinned at the look on my face. "Then shut the hell up," she said and resumed kissing me again.

I gave in and rolled us on to the bed, sliding her under me and kissing her with a burning fever. She gasped and grabbed at my shoulders, pulling me into her. I slid my hand up along her thigh, hiking her skirt with it. Hot skin met my cool fingers and she groaned, arching to my touch.

Pausing, I looked into her eyes, she stared up at me unfazed, she was calm and clear like the night sky. Without saying a word, she took my hand and pushed it between her legs. I shuddered when I found her wet and ready. I slipped a finger inside of her and delighted in the sigh of ecstasy that fell from her. "Yes..," she whimpered, "Yes John."

It was all I needed to break my resolve. I claimed her lips forcefully, drawing more sighs from her mouth. Urgent hands found my jeans and unzipped them, pushing them down. I stood quickly, shucking them to the ground along with underwear, shoes and socks.

With a hungry growl I lay upon her again, my arousal clear as I ground against her panties, that sliver of fabric the only thing keeping us apart. She raised her hips and slid the panties down to her knees before I had to finish the job. Tossed aside, there was nothing to stop us. My downfall was complete, and I allowed it to draw me in. I couldn't stop even if I wanted to now, she was so willing, so ready, and I had wanted her so badly for so long.

I didn't stop to check with her, I simply had to have her right then. The look in her eyes was pretty clear and I rubbed myself against her, drawing a soft moan before I pushed in, slowly, gauging her reaction. She gasped sharply, arching up and groaning her encouragement. I thrust the remainder of the way, letting her settle around me, god she felt so good, I wanted to drive it home right then and there, but I forced myself to look at her.

Brown doe eyes met mine and then she rocked up into me. I thrust to meet her, groaning softly. She was tight, fitting me like a glove. I was captivated, the sheer flexing around me enough to drive me wild. I lay over her, taking a nipple in my mouth as I ground into her faster and harder, I bit down on the nipple causing her whole body to shudder underneath mine on the sounds of a whimper.

Nicole had her head thrown back against the pillow, one hand clinging to the headboard beside us, the other wrapped around my neck. Her neck was so inviting, I leaned further into it, sliding my body along hers as I rocked against her. As I moved I pushed her legs up against her chest, the angle was critical and allowed me to fill her up, screwing her so completely. Her moans increased as she shuddered beneath me, calling out my name. I knew I'd hit the mark when she suddenly spasmed beneath me, her legs tightening and pushing against me. She thrashed underneath me from a deep orgasm and I pulled back, allowing her legs to drop to either side of me before she reached out, clinging to my shoulders and pulling me closer.

I thrust harder, riding her euphoric high as she flexed around me. I felt the pressure building within me and I allowed myself to follow with the waves of pleasure coursing through me. Nicole grabbed my arms and held on, moaning softly as I pushed deep within her and held my position, jerking as I felt my release enter into her. I shuddered, moaning into her shoulder as I bit down, feeling her skin brush along mine as I rode out my own high.

I fell into her, gasping and kissing her fully. She wrapped her arms around me, holding me to her. With a roll I tucked her between some pillows and my own body. We drifted then, on the verge of sleep. I felt boneless, limp, exhausted, and so incredibly sated. The last thought I had before sleep claimed me, she was mine and she would always belong to me.

When I awoke, the sky was still dark, just now turning from the inky blackness of night into the milky blue of an impending dawn. I looked down at the sleeping woman in my arms, I would never be able to get enough of her, and I was addicted. And I hated myself in that moment. She was a child, my oldest friend's child. She belonged to a man who gave my children and I shelter when we'd needed it during a critical time in our lives, and I had so completely betrayed both their trusts with a single stupid mistake.

I had to get out of there. I couldn't believe I'd done this. I slid out from under Cole carefully so as not to wake her. She moaned and sighed at the loss of contact. I felt it too, but I couldn't stay. She deserved better than this, better than me. I couldn't offer her a life, I had nothing to give but blood and pain. I looked down at her sleeping and I knew, this one moment had cost us all dearly. I would hurt her, and it had to be deliberate, it had to be enough to get her to forget me, to hate me and to move on. I sighed, leaning down to kiss her softly on the forehead one last time, then with weary heart I trudged up the stairs to get my things. I had to be gone within the hour.

November 28th, 1998 – John's Journal

I swear over the past few years this girl has become like a drug to me. I'm addicted. I fought every time I was near her not to show my true feelings but somehow each and every time we saw each other, I found an excuse to be near her. I knew nothing good was going to come of it and I was playing with fire, but she was my blend of fiery, sarcastic kryptonite, and my ultimate weakness. And because I have a weakness that's why I have to go.

I left as soon as I could, and when I got back to the kids, I found Dean and Beth staring all moon-eyed at each other on the motel beds. It won't do, I can't risk them falling into the same mistake I've just made, so I made them promise, to swear that they would never pursue anything – they are brother and sister, and only that. The way Nicole should have been a daughter to me, and nothing more.

I didn't realize, until I heard her talking to Beth on the phone, that I've fucked up more than I could have imagined. She was a virgin and I took her without any thought for what her history was. She was so sure of herself, and she is nineteen... I just assumed. But I assumed wrong, and I should have known better. Then I left. Like a coward. But it's better this way. Better, that she hate me and move on with her life, than fall for someone who could never offer her a future.

Cole's POV

Cole's Twenty Year's Old

April 1st, 1999

Dear Diary,

The Winchester's are back in town. Tonight the game is on once again. Where we pretend like we're friends, nothing more. Where I pretend like I haven't had my heart ripped out and stomped on by the only man I've ever loved. I will pretend that everything is fine and currently screw my brains out with Ian. However, something tells me I might live to regret this one. God I hope it is at least satisfying, and the look on John Winchester's face, worth it every time. Maybe tomorrow will be the moment he finally decides to call me out on being such a manipulative bitch. Is it wrong that I hope he does? Plan #39 set in motion.

The sex I'd just finished with had been mediocre at best at worst completely dissatisfying. Playing this game was exhausting but it was completely worth it. At least it would be once I got downstairs to see John's face.

I sent Ian packing and jumped in the shower, soon enough I was drying off and listening out for a familiar voice. I spun towards the door as I heard him outside the door talking to Beth, fantastic! I checked to make sure the towel was long enough to cover everything it needed to, but on the flip side short enough to give him something to think about.

I stepped out of the bathroom as John was coming down the hall. We'd done this dance once before, the night I'd fallen irrevocably in love with him. That didn't mean I couldn't be fucking furious with him.

His breath hitched as he nearly collided with me, an arm reaching out to steady me. Not that I'd needed it. I was still too pissed to allow him to sway me anymore.

"John." I said managing to sound completely surprised. Damn I was a good actor. If I managed to fail nursing school, I should hit up Hollywood.

He glanced at me, his poker face not giving anything away. He spoke in a calm almost deadpan voice. "Nicole, we need to talk. Get dressed," he said not bothering to give me a once over, like he would have before. Before I'd foolishly decided to split our family into fragments.

"We can talk in my room, and I don't even have to get dressed," I said coyly, resisting the urge to run my hand along his rock hard body teasingly.

"No, get dressed. I'll meet you downstairs in five minutes," he said curtly. The moment his eyes touched mine, I felt my confidence faltering. Why was I doing this again? Why was I hurting no one but myself, it was obvious he'd moved on. I'd been nothing but a conquest to him.

I'd had a moment to think this through before I'd decided to go through with anything. But my anger and fury had washed out everything but the pain I'd felt when I woke up that morning and discovered my innocence was gone, and so was the man I'd wanted to hold it.

I let him move past me all the fire was gone I was done, and it hurt. I turned my back on him, pausing at the entrance of my bedroom; I fought the impulse to glance back over my shoulder. If I was truly done, I couldn't have those urges and impulses, after all he'd made it more than clear I'd meant nothing to him. I'd just been another notch in the bedpost.

I was dressed and downstairs in two minutes. I searched the first floor looking for John. My dad was in the kitchen working on breakfast; Sam was already dressed and downstairs in the library, Dean and Beth were lagging behind as usual, and nowhere to be found. Neither was John, for that matter.

I stepped outside onto the porch and found him with his back turned to me. He turned at the sound of the door opening and offered me a small smile. I tried my best to look indifferent.

I could do this I just had to pretend as if I didn't give a shit. Simple enough I just had to act like giving up my virginity to the love of my life was an everyday occurrence, a simple sacrifice that meant nothing, piece of cake.

"Let's take a walk," he said once the door had firmly closed behind me. I couldn't agree more, last thing I needed was my dad finding out about this. I followed him out into the salvage yard walking between the rows of cars.

He stopped once he was satisfied we were far enough from the house we wouldn't be overheard. He raked a hand through his hair in an agitated gesture, odd since his stance nor did his facial expression give anything away.

"I never meant to hurt you Nicole," he said quietly glancing at the cars around us, anywhere but at me. Chicken.

I narrowed my eyes, shifting my gaze to the dirt under my feet. Then back to his eyes, my own mask of indifference in place.

"You didn't." I said proud of myself. I almost believed myself, except for the stabbing pain I felt in my heart. That telling pain blew my resolve so I tried again clarifying myself. "The only way you can hurt someone is if they care. I knew what I was getting in to, John I'm not an idiot." I said my voice even and steady. When I felt like doing nothing but beating the crap out of someone.

I glanced back at him at the wrong moment, what I saw made me want to smash his face in. He was smirking at me. Although it didn't look like a 'I'm secretly laughing my ass off at your antics' smirk it looked more like an 'I know better than you' smirk. Either way if I hadn't been so determined to pull off the I don't give a shit attitude, I would have tried to punch him.

"I know you want me to believe that crap you're trying to sell, but you're full of shit." John said looking at me with a knowing smile. "You really want me to believe you're trailing home this conga line of men because you don't care?" He said, stepping closer to me.

"You are more than welcome to believe whatever the hell you want to. I don't give a rat's ass." I said my voice coming out low and mean, totally betraying me. Now would be a good time to leave I decided, before I made a complete fool of myself by crying over this like it was some horrible tragedy, which it totally wasn't. It was sex, albeit great sex, but still just sex.

I turned to leave, my mind made up and my resolution crumbling. I wanted to know why. As long as I knew why he'd left like a coward in the middle of the night, I could put this behind me, act as if it never happened. But I wasn't going to lower myself to ask him.

He grabbed my arm in a rough grip, pulling me around to face him. I glared daggers at him. "Don't touch me. Who the hell do you think you are?" I snapped all pretense of not caring thrown out the window.

"There it is," he said to me smugly releasing me from his grasp.

"There what is?" I snarled. He was infuriating me, as if he knew something I didn't.

"That emotion you're trying to push behind a mask. Honey you so need to work on your poker face," he said, breathing heavily. He stepped back, taking a few deep breaths trying to calm himself. "Look Nicole, I didn't bring you out here to fight with you. If I'd known I was your first… I," he said beginning to apologize.

I was in no mood for it so I cut him off. "You weren't my first so don't flatter yourself." I snapped. John scowled at me, fury sparking in his eyes. Inside I was elated. There it was, that small telling moment of fury he wasn't quite quick enough to stamp down.

His eyes darkened as he took a menacing step forward. "You are such a little liar," he said his voice sounding low and deadly.

"Actually I'm not." I said with a smirk. I finally had the upper hand in this ridiculous war we'd found ourselves in.

His eyes never wavered, never left mine. "Who?" He asked threateningly.

My expression never faltered, I could so do this. "None of your business." I snapped, not about to be caught in a lie.

He grinned then a smug smile of male entitlement. "You lie to whomever you feel the need to Nicole. But don't you ever lie to me. You lie your pretty little ass off to Dean, Beth, Sam, your dad or one of these little boy toys you bring home, but don't you ever make the mistake of lying to me again," he said his eyes dark. I stared at him, refusing to budge.

"Okay, have it your way. But baby you damn well better tell me, I'd hate to kill the wrong man, and you've left me a pretty long list." The look in his eyes and the tone of his voice told me he was not joking.

I smirked at him and moved in close, my face just inches from him. "What do you care John? You took off like a fucking coward before the sun even had a chance to rise. Tell me how you think you're any better than a single one of the others I've been with?"

He opened his mouth as if to say something, but then closed it, his eyes looking at me with regret. I pushed further. "First time or not, you didn't exactly treat me like anything more than another notch in the bedpost. Being the first time for me simply drove home the reality; all men are assholes, so fuck with them before they fuck with you. Happy? You arrogant son of a bitch."

His face fell, and regret started to show clearly in his eyes. I pushed past him, leaving him to mull that one over. I'd seen what I needed to see, he felt guilty over what had happened. Somehow, it made things a little more bearable. On the plus side, John had been jealous about who my first was, apparently there was more than what had appeared on the surface. This was good.

John's POV

Cole's Twenty One Years Old

I'd had the kids practicing with machetes for a few weeks. The first lesson had been a bit rough with the dead pigs strung from the gym where they actually had to practice beheading. Beth, Sam and Dean had all looked a bit green; however, Cole had seemed ready and willing to have a go at it. I swear that girl was fearless.

She never backed down from anything. And she never seemed to get sick over anything. She did everything she wanted to do and took it all in stride. It'd been almost sixteen months since I'd made the mistake that tore our tight knit family unit apart. It had been months before I could even truly look Bobby in the face without feeling nervous.

Cole definitely seemed to have grown into her own and she relished in the intensifying training Bobby and I were putting the kids through. The others were sore and tired while Cole seemed to be itching to go, she was worse than the damn energizer bunny.

I glanced over to the kids, taking in their progress. Bobby was out getting supplies so I once again got babysitting duty and instead of letting them all get lazy, I had them outside training. Beth and Sam had taken a break and were watching the furious match taking place between Cole and Dean.

She had enough forward momentum to separate Dean from his weapon and used it to her advantage. However, the minute her opponent was disarmed she should have called it quits right then and there; what I saw next made my blood boil. She used the remainder of her momentum and Dean's distraction at being disarmed to catch him in the groin. One rule we had for the kids here: once your opponent was disarmed you quit fighting and walked off the mats, unless of course they were in hand to hand combat. Dean took the hit and went down, Sam and Beth moved forward to help him up.

Cole had a momentary look of regret upon her face and moved forward to help him also. Dean was having none of that and backhanded her with a closed fist. She staggered but kept her feet under her, looking shocked and holding a hand to her face.

I started forward, moving towards Cole, intending to tear her a new one. She was still so pissed, still needed someone to take her anger out on, she could fucking take it out on me. I was the one who deserved it, not Dean.

"What the hell was that? You know that when you are on these mats the minute your opponent is disarmed you step off!" I snapped at her. She glared at me rolling her eyes.

"Oh please. I barely even touched him he'll be fine, just get him an ice pack," she said turning away from me, a dismissal from a queen to a peasant. Really?

I stepped forward aggressively grabbing her arm and turning her to face me. Whoa, wrong move.

I ducked hurriedly to avoid being decapitated by her blade I honestly never thought she'd have the stones to take a swing at me with a machete. Note to self-try to get back on neutral ground so you aren't looking over your shoulder for Cole and her machete all the time.

I rose taking a swing at her, which she ducked. When she straightened, she took another swing at me with the machete still firmly in her grasp. I reached up, grabbing her arm with both hands and forcing the machete from her grasp and across the room. The disarming move sent her into a roll across the mat but she came to her feet with ease the move looking almost rehearsed.

The fight should have ended there, she was disarmed and I took a step away from her intending to let her walk away. She had other ideas. She was in a predatory crouch her gaze locked on me. Fine. She was really still so pissed off at me, she needed to blow off some steam game on little girl. I thought with a smirk.

I sank into a fighting crouch of my own, entering a calm frame of mind studying my opponent's every move, every thought before they had it. I had already calculated every possible move she could have made by the time her next words left her mouth.

"I don't wanna hurt you," she said with a cocky arrogant grin. Arrogance gets people killed in the middle of a battle.

A humorless laugh fell from my lips, a tiny chuckle nothing more. "You won't." I said confidently, goading her into making a mistake. I wanted her to use anger in her fighting strategy, the sooner this little pissing contest was over the sooner I could find out how in the hell I was going to fix our messed up dynamic.

Her eyes darkened on me, anger and fury setting her teeth on edge. "Oh yes I will," she said with a deadly smirk. She whirled, grabbing the stereo and launching it at me. Whoa, hey now we're gonna throw things too. Freaking fantastic! I brought my arm up to deflect it, missing her move as she surged forward backhanding me across the face. She got enough room between us to place a well-balanced kick to my abdomen, which pushed me back into the wall.

I brought up my hands to defend myself as she placed two blows to my abdomen. I blocked the second blow and retaliated with one of my own. I know she wasn't expecting me to just take this lying down. Hell I wouldn't have expected my own sons to just take this, whether she was a girl or not. She was well trained in the art of military combat, survival and hunting skills, she knew exactly what she was getting into.

Cole doubled over with a grunt of pain but it didn't even stun her. Her mind had a single purpose, as did mine now: Defeat the enemy. She acted, catching my arm behind her in a hold meant to deadlock a lesser trained opponent. I pivoted breaking the hold and slamming her back into the wall.

She brought up a knee, attempting to disable me in the same way she had Dean, however I was ready for it and brought my leg up and across so she'd catch my thigh instead of debilitating soft tissue. She responded by throwing another punch to my face bringing her elbow around and catching me in the jaw on the same side again. Damn, I was suddenly aware of how well these kids knew their stuff. I hope that they never got the itch to injure a civilian, no matter the circumstances, they could be in some real trouble.

The furious blonde kept throwing punches and maneuvering herself forward and out from the wall so she could have more room to attack. I backhanded her and she met the mat, apparently, it stunned her enough that she needed a break. Good maybe this ridiculous fight was over.

Cole got to her hands and knees crawling off the mat and heading for the couch over where Sam was watching the whole fight go down. With a grunt, she pulled herself to her feet, taking a minute to catch her breath, I wasn't complaining, my lungs were burning for some oxygen too.

Picking up a beer bottle someone had left lying around; Cole launched it at me with an angry sound. I ducked, the sound loud as the glass shattered against wall of the shed. She lunged towards me shifting her weight to come at me with a roundhouse kick. I caught her leg in my hands, attempting to throw her off balance I should have known it wouldn't work our kids were too well trained.

I stepped forward then still gripping her leg tightly, meeting the wall in a hard shove to gain dominance. She still wasn't giving in. Dammit, screw the energizer bunny she was like the Terminator. I released her leg over my shoulder, the pressure and burn from being in such an awkward position would have thrown any seasoned fighter off their game, but she relished in it, an opinion made fact by the breathless laugh of humor she released, right before she stunned me with a blow to both ears.

She wrapped her other leg around my waist her ankles locking together. I had to fight to keep my mind from wandering, I could very well get killed in this fight all pretense of this being a training exercise had vanished but I couldn't help but wonder how this would feel if our position were turned into a more intimate setting. Then I forced myself to remember that my dick was what got us into this mess in the first place.

I pivoted, her locked on grip taking her with me as we met the mat. She really was attempting to suffocate me. I grabbed one thigh trying to release the pressure that refused to let my lungs expand, and she renewed her efforts to choke me out.

I rolled, flipping her onto her back, and she released me, it was either that or her neck could snap. I straddled her, careful to keep my body pressed tightly against hers so she couldn't get the same potshot off she'd used with Dean.

She caught the edge of something on the mat attempting to bring it up and around. Dean's fallen machete. Dear God, she just keeps on coming. I caught her arm holding it off me, while she brought up her other arm attempting to throw another punch. We were in a deadlock.

"You exhausted all your frustration yet?" I snapped at her. This was getting tiresome, her anger, frustration, and attitude were all good things and they made her a great warrior but I hated being the cause of it all; I had to find a way to apologize to her.

She relaxed, lowering the machete to the ground, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

Later that night I found Nicole out in the car yard, lying on the hood of a beat up old Valiant while she stared at the stars. I leaned against the car on my elbows looking at her. She released a long breath, which fogged up in the cool night's air.

"I think I prefer the more serene you, much easier to approach," I joked, sending her a friendly smile.

She looked over at me with a sad smile and sat up, crossing her legs and leaning her elbows on her knees as she watched me.

"What do you want John?" She asked quietly, looking at me with guarded eyes. I sighed and stood up straight, my hip resting against the side of the car.

"I wanted to apologize," I said, sighing. "I know that things haven't been easy between us, and it's completely my fault, I should have..."

"No," she said softly, stopping me. I glanced at her, frowning. "No, I'm sorry John. I've been acting completely immaturely. You know, I should never have brought all those guys home. It was really childish and juvenile... I… I was trying to hurt you….," she trailed off with a sigh, looking at me apologetically.

I paused, taking this in, I knew she'd been off the rails but I hadn't thought she'd ever admit to doing it to hurt me.

"Why did you do it?" She asked me suddenly, looking up. "Why did you just leave? What did I do wrong?"

She looked so vulnerable in that moment and I just wanted to take her in my arms, hold her to me and never let her go; to reassure her that I hadn't wanted to, that it had been the last thing I would have chosen if circumstances had been different. But I couldn't, I had to do the right thing.

"You didn't do anything wrong Nicole, it was completely me. I should never have let it go so far, I was in the wrong. We can't have these feelings for each other Nicole," I said, a heaviness sitting in my chest as I said the words.

She glanced down at the chipping paint and rust on the Valiant. "So where does that leave us?" She asked quietly. So quiet I barely even caught it.

I sighed in resignation. "We're left stuck right where we are." I said wearily.

"Could you at least answer a few questions for me?" She asked her expression hopeful.

I was going to regret this moment. I knew it. But in another moment of weakness coupled by the fact that we were actually having a decent conversation with each other, without fighting or trying to hurt each other, I took it. "Ask away." Yep I was definitely going to regret this one.

"Was I convenient? I mean why me? I'm not crazy right. There's something between us, I'm not just a girl with a crush on her father's best friend, right? And if I am shoot me now!" She said calmly finishing off the statement with and exasperated sigh.

I knew what I needed to tell her. I had to tell her this for her own good, that what she had just stated was the truth, however I couldn't bring myself to utter the lie that could save her life and solidify her future. "You're not crazy Nicole. But I can't act on how I feel, I have responsibilities, obligations. I need to keep my head in the game, I can't give in to my feelings or people get hurt. Like you hurt Dean today." I said trying to make her understand.

Her eyes glittered filling with tears. "I'm sorry," she said softly, "I didn't mean to, I've just been so angry all the time, I just I wish I could go back and stop myself. Things would be so much easier," she said, her voice breaking on the last word.

I stepped forward pulling her into a hug. God she'd been made for me. We fit together so perfectly. I felt like I could do anything with her by my side. However, I couldn't keep her, she wasn't mine, and she never would be. Too many people would get hurt. I kissed the top of her head, and told myself it was a father displaying affection and kindness to his hurting daughter. Yeah right. It was anything but that.

February 19th, 2000

I think we're finally squared away. It's been just under fifteen months since… I think we might finally be able to put it behind us. I hurt her I know this. I've done everything I can think of to give her up. I'm still screwed, I'm addicted to her. The best I can hope for is the small spaces of time we are together, where we can have a normal conversation without being mad or fighting with each other, hopefully they'll be enough. However now I need to get into some hot water to soothe my aching bones. That girl is definitely volatile….

Cole's POV

Cole's Twenty Two Years Old – October

I opened up the chart on my newest admission. My day honestly couldn't get any better. I was completely on top of my game with my medications and I was successfully taking care of five patients. I had just discharged one so now I had to accept another new admission, the one I was currently looking over.

Sam Winchester? What the hell? I hurriedly scanned through his chart praying nothing was seriously wrong with my little brother, and breathed a sigh of relief when the chart said he was being admitted for a broken bone that had set wrong.

Great simple fix. I thought with a sigh of relief. The nurse whose patients I was caring for today was walking down the hall towards me and I hurriedly flipped the chart closed, turning to look at her, offering a bright eager smile. I wanted her to eat nails. She was giving me all the scut work and not giving me anything of real value. I was supposed to be graduating, next semester and I was getting no procedures done with this nurse, at least not today and she had a few nasogastric tubes and a Foley catheter I could have put in but instead of offering me the opportunity I got the bed messes and clean ups.

I had already voiced my concerns to my instructor and she knew the problems on hand too as I wasn't the only student who'd had issues with this nurse, still we had to remain professional.

"We have a new admit coming in," she said to me briskly. "Have you ever done admission paperwork? It's a little different from what you students are used to," she said with a slight undertone of a sneer in her voice.

I hated this. I'd had to grit my teeth all day. I'd done everything possible to stay out of her way last thing I needed was to knock her lights out and get thrown out of school. So I forced myself to smile, nod and in a sugary sweet voice that sounded nothing like my own reply: "Yes ma'am I've completed admission paperwork before." I decided now might be a good time to try pushing my luck. "I've heard you have another patient requiring a nasogastric tube, could I try putting it in if you don't mind?" I asked, sugary sweet and totally kissing ass. I needed some of these procedures done dammit.

She raised an eyebrow incredulously at me and I tried not to let my disappointment show on my face. Thank God for Dad, John and poker games. "No. I need you to do this admission for me, it'll take too long for you to do the admit and the nasogastric tube needs to be put down now. Besides, I don't want to subject a patient to the tortures of a new nursing student if I can help it. Let's wait until you get a bit more practice," she said matching me tone for tone with a mean expression in her eyes.

I decided in that minute I hated this bitch! I nodded my head turning away from her dismissively. I was so done with this bitch. I opened Sam's chart again checking his medications. He was on a prophylactic antibiotic and a pain med after the surgery awesome, easy enough case, with the meds. I hated the little old women who came in with twenty plus meds they were a nightmare to keep straight, and especially when you had to keep them all in your head from memory when the instructor showed herself.

Speaking of, Mrs. Murphy was striding down the hall, great time for me to look busy. I turned in the opposite direction about to go round on my other four patients when her voice stopped me in my tracks. "Nicole," she called. Internally I groaned. Fantastic just don't pop quiz me please! I prayed to whoever was listening.

"Yes ma'am?" I questioned turning around with a smile firmly in place. I learned early on in school if you kept a smile on things worked out so much better.

She approached me taking me by the elbow, and moving me into a tiny alcove where we could speak semi privately. "I just wanted to let you know you're new admission, is being admitted to reset that broken bone, however the Manager of this unit informed me that he's truly being admitted for suspicion of abuse." I allowed the chill that ran down my spine to be visibly noticeable. The shock widened my eyes and I felt as if someone had dropped a bucket of ice water into my stomach.

I knew of course there was no way this was the result of child abuse this was a hunt were Sammy was injured. Shit! I felt panic rising within me. If they arrested John…. He had to leave, he couldn't stay here.

I did my best to allow my nerves to show through only slightly. I had to do what I could to keep them all safe. More than their family being in danger, their secret was in danger. All our secret was in danger. They, the hospital and my instructor, couldn't know we knew each other. I had to warn the Winchesters.

Mrs. Murphy looked at me. "Are you going to be able to handle this?" She asked.

I straightened, standing a bit taller, giving off the impression of the professional nurse I hoped to one day become. "Yes ma'am, I can absolutely handle this." I said firmly. Besides everyone else would treat John as if he was guilty and I was the only one that knew the truth: the things that go bump in the night were responsible for injuring my brother. I knew once I was done with my shift today we were going to go hunt down whatever had injured Sam, if they hadn't done it already. "Now, I noticed on the chart he doesn't have an IV yet. Would you mind checking me off on it?" I asked her giving off the impression of an eager student wanting to learn more about the whole process of IV's and law enforcement and the nurse's role in the hospital.

Mrs. Murphy chuckled at my eager expression; I was practically bouncing on the balls of my feet. "Of course. I have to go give room 119's meds with Savannah, but gather your stuff and I'll be in there shortly," she said turning away from me.

I turned hurrying to the supply closet to get the IV start kit, a few 18g IV catheters, IV tubing and a bag of Normal Saline to hang with it. Then I made my way to the nurse's station grabbing the chart.

Once I had everything gathered I would need I turned entering the room Sam was in. They all looked up surprised to see me. I got a mixed jumbled up replies of: "Cole. Nicole didn't know you were working today. Hey look it's the miniature Michelin Man. Hey Cole!" I didn't have time to reply to everyone I had to make the seconds count while Murphy was distracted.

I turned hurriedly to John. "I need you guys to act like you don't know me." I said speaking loudly enough for them to all hear me. "They did some X-rays of Sammy's arm and found evidence of old fractures. They think you're an abuser." I said hurriedly. Beth and Dean exchanged shocked expressions. Sammy who usually had something smart to say just sat there stunned.

John stood up and scrubbed a hand across his face. "Son of a bitch, that means the cops were called," he said looking to me for confirmation. I nodded anxiously. "All right thanks for letting us know Nicole," he said giving me a strained smile. I nodded again.

Any other time, hearing my name come out of his mouth might have made me melt on the spot but right now, the circumstances were too critical. "So looks like I'm your nurse for today. The actual nurse may stick her head in at some point but for the most part, I'm it. You need me hit the call button."

Dean perked up excitedly opening his mouth, reaching for the buzzer while I was still in the room, a cheeky look on his face. I sighed and rolled my eyes at him. "I do have four other patients Dean." I said heading off what I'm sure would have been an abuse the system comment.

"I can't be in here for the rest of my shift." Although now that I thought about it I would be spending a great deal of my time wrapped up in this patient.

"Okay. Nicole, keep your eyes open give us time to get our story straight. Let us know if you can when the police get here. Other than that do what you need to do to get through this day." John said giving me a stern look.

"I know. You think I'm gonna throw away all my hard work for you guys?" I said cattily. "Dream on!" I huffed out an irritated breath with a smile to let them know I was joking. They were my family, and I wasn't throwing them under the bus.

Mrs. Murphy walked in at that point and I turned hurriedly to Sam, opening my supplies and readying myself to start his IV.

I inserted the IV without a problem, but forgot to tear my tape into strips, crap! I glanced at Dean and he stepped up to my rescue, grabbing the tape hanging from the stethoscope around my neck and tearing off a few strips so I could tape Sammy's IV down. I was locked in place, if I moved the plastic catheter in Sammy's arm would come out and I would have to re-stick him. That was if my instructor would let me.

I flushed in embarrassment. I couldn't believe I'd gotten so carried away I'd forgotten to prepare my tape. One thing was for sure I wouldn't make that mistake again.

I thanked Sam for allowing me the opportunity to start his IV, and Mrs. Murphy and I excused ourselves from his room. The minute the door was closed, she turned shrewd assessing eyes on me. "You want to tell me where you messed up?" She asked quietly.

I flushed even more turning my gaze to the floor. "I didn't have all my supplies prepared." I said softly, managing to look thoroughly chastised. I wanted to be good at this. I would be good at this. I needed to think ahead, when doing procedures and not just think about stuffing a tube somewhere it didn't need to be.

She nodded at me. "Yeah you won't always get so lucky to have such a cute paramedic at your beck and call to help you out when you need a hand." I widened my eyes then covered my shock imperceptibly. Internally I was rolling with laughter. She thought Dean was a paramedic?! I guess I shouldn't be surprised, I'd spent so much time practicing on Dean, Beth and Sam when I was learning to start IV's he knew exactly how to tear the tape so I could use it to my advantage.

But still Dean a paramedic? Hahaha! Yeah right. I'm sure Mrs. Murphy could see the laughter in my eyes at least, I decided I might need to cover it up with something. "Yeah he was pretty cute wasn't he?" I asked her conspiratorially. She smiled at me and brushed past me.

"You'll do better on the next one Nicole," she said leaving me outside Sam's room.

I chuckled to myself, glancing down at my watch. I had meds due in ten minutes, so I made my way to the Pyxis to pull them. I grabbed the two pills Mrs. Acrain had due along with her chart from the nurses station.

Once I'd finished my charting of her given meds, I returned her chart and headed back down the hall, okay now it was really time to round on my patients. I was coming out of my third patient room when I saw the police speaking with Nurse Ratched; I immediately turned on my heel and hurried toward Sam's room. John was sitting in a chair by Sam's bed watching him sleep while Dean and Beth were currently sword fighting in their seats with a couple of Yankauer suction catheters. I shook my head at them, sometimes I wondered at how they could be so serious one moment, and complete fools the next.

He looked up when I rushed into the room. "Five-Oh. John you gotta get out of here. You can't stay here if they arrest you… " I trailed off as he hushed me, getting to his feet and bringing a hand to my mouth.

"I'll be all right Nicole, even if they arrest me. You just do your job - finish your shift, then you're done with school for the week right? You guys can worry about me later," he said softly.

I heard a knock on the door and we separated, I moved to Sam's side pretending to be checking his IV site and lowering the bed. I turned away as the officer spoke to John. "Excuse me Mr. Winchester, would you mind if we spoke outside?" He asked John.

"Why does he have to go outside? We're all family here, you can say what you have to say in front of the rest of," Beth said, standing up and crossing her arms. She looked tired and irritable, not like Beth at all; I fought back a chuckle at her tone.

"Beth..." John said with a warning tone.

"No, Dad!" Beth interjected. "These abuse allegations are complete BS, and someone has to say it for what it is! You're barking up the wrong tree," she said to the lead cop.

"Dad?" The man said, casting a look over at John. "We don't have a daughter on record for you, Mr. Winchester," he said, going over his notes.

Beth froze, her eyes widening as she looked at John apologetically. John had his poker face on, there wasn't a person in the world who was going to see what was going on below the surface there.

"Yeah, uh, well she is my daughter... daughter-in-law actually," John said casually, looking pointedly at Dean and Beth. Dean's face broke into an amused smirk and he raised his eyebrow, giving a little swagger before grabbing Beth's hand, and pulling her into him. He jumped in the middle of this story like a shark in tuna and chum filled water, pulling Beth over to him and very thoroughly kissing her. To be honest I wasn't sure it was going to end and I got a little nervous when Beth moaned into Dean's mouth. Wow, the Winchesters were definitely gifted!

Dean pulled away looking at the officer expectantly. Beth looked a little dazed, almost star struck. "We've been married almost a month now right honey?" He said placing an arm around Beth and looking at her adoringly. I winked, giving him thumbs up, that's my boy!

"Oh really? Congratulations." The officer said with a raised eyebrow, appearing not as convinced by the story as I'd hoped. I narrowed my eyes, as they turned back to John.

"Please follow us, Mr. Winchester, we'll get to those questions now," they said, pausing to look over at Dean and Beth with a stern look. John gave nothing away, walking out of the room with the officers. I followed them all out into the hallway, and they led John toward one of the offices across the hall. It was a staff room, but they'd cleared it to use for interrogating John.

The police had their backs turned to me, John didn't. I winked at him letting him know I had things under control and I would take care of Sam, Dean and Beth.

I turned going to answer a recent call light that had just gone off for one of my patients. Twenty minutes later found me anxious to get to Sammy's room and see if John was back. I strode into the room finding Sammy awake, and Dean and Beth seated in chairs beside the bed.

"Hey Cole, where's Dad?" Beth asked anxiously.

I smiled reassuringly, "He's still talking with the police." I said quietly. The door opened behind me and one of the cops entered. I moved to Sam, pulling my stethoscope off and faking a quick head to toe examination, there was no way in hell I was leaving the room for this one. I wanted to see it.

"Where's my Dad?" Sam asked immediately looking to the rent-a-cop, not good. 'Sam shut up' I thought vehemently, no reason to make things worse because you have to argue with everyone.

"Your father is being questioned by Officer Jones. However, I have a few questions for you," he stated looking around at Dean and Beth. "In private," he added. Beth bristled at the not-so-subtle hint and crossed her arms.

"Pretty certain you have to have a legal guardian or some kind of liaison with Sam if you want to interrogate him, he might be seventeen, but he still falls under the laws relating to a minor," she said, raising an eyebrow at the cop.

"Yeah... what she said..." Dean agreed, nodding.

"We just want to clarify something about the broken arm with Sam, that's all," he said and Beth snorted.

"He already told you what happened!" She snapped.

I decided now was a good time to leave. "All right, sir if you need anything you have your clicker, just push it and I'll be right with you." I said brightly to Sam. He nodded at me and the officer didn't even acknowledge me, he was too busy trying to figure out how to get evidence against John from the kids but these kids were thicker than thieves, they weren't getting anything out of them.

Exiting the room, I closed the door behind me, and breathed a small sigh of relief. I would be glad when this day was over. I saw John heading for the stairwell and frowned. Nothing suspicious about that at all.

I glanced around me making sure no one would notice if I slipped off the unit. I entered the stairwell and John was already at the sixth story landing, moving fast to the bottom of the seven story hospital.

"Hey!?" I snapped. "So you're just gonna leave without saying goodbye to your kids?" I questioned him abruptly. He stopped moving and waited for me to join him. "How the hell did you even get out of there?" I asked curiously, there'd been an armed guard on him when I'd seen the room last, not to mention I was fairly certain they'd handcuffed him to one of the bed rails to avoid this very situation.

"God dammit Nicole, when we were in the ER they took pictures of Sam, everywhere, every cut, scrape and bruise. They wouldn't let me see him! Beth had to stay with him for Dean and me to even have a clue what was going on," he said his eyes flashing at me. Not only was there fire, but despair.

Suddenly it clicked, John Winchester was a man who would sacrifice everything he was for his family, everything! Even his own happiness, just to protect them, and John getting locked up in jail wouldn't protect anyone. If anything, that would make his kids easier targets.

I felt tears welling in my eyes. "So you're not gonna let them know." I said softly. My heart was heavy. I didn't know what to do. I wanted him to stay somehow but separating him from his kids was not the thing to do. However, him staying and going to jail was definitely not an option.

"Nicole, they have evidence that you and I know would put me away no matter what my children say. I'm never in one place very long, I'm ex-military so they'll probably claim I have some severe PTSD. My children are never in school longer than a few weeks at a time, I took in some girl after I faked her death. They're all going to show serious signs of bruising and damage if they do x-rays," he said. I sighed, letting out a frustrated breath. John turned towards me catching my face in his hands.

"And since I'm probably going to jail anyway..," he trailed off looking at me and lowered his mouth to mine, the force bruising and possessive. I melted on the spot with only enough willpower to return the kiss, every bit as possessive as he was. We broke apart when we needed air, both of us breathless.

"What the hell was that?" I asked cautiously, not daring to get my hopes up.

"Well, I figured I'm going to jail for child abuse, or at the very least going on the run for a bit, so might as well give you something to remember me by," he said, grinning cockily down at me, I almost laughed, almost.

"God dammit John, that isn't funny!" I snapped at him, glaring. He just looked down at me.

"Well it is a little ironic," he said softly, turning away from me. "I'm going to your dad's house. I'll lay low there until Sam is discharged, then we're leaving," he said quietly.

"Okay." I answered. "Take the Impala; I can get the kids home at the very least." I said to him. He turned to leave moving to the next set of stairs.

"Oh and Nicole?" John said turning back to face me. "Someday remind me to show you what I can do with a pair of handcuffs," he said suggestively, winking at me and giving me a smirk that was enough to send my body into a puddle.

October 31st, 2000

Dear Diary,

The Winchester's are gone again. I don't know when I'll get to see them again. Things were definitely adventurous at clinical today. I'd tell you all about it but then that would mean admitting that I knew anything about what happened. So for now my lip are sealed.

P.S. Handcuffs really?!

Author's Notes:

Song for this chapter is a Moment Like This by Kelly Clarkson.

I loved writing this chapter and it kinda hit me out of the blue. Just curious what was your favorite John and Cole moment? I liked them all for different reasons. My absolute favorites though were the fight scene, their "first date", and the hospital clinical one. That one actually got me in the mood to study more for my NCLEX-RN it is once again that time. I'm retaking it 12-09-13... Wish me luck!

Huge thank you to Belladonna. She actually wrote the spine tingling forbidden touches gun scene. I knew what I wanted with that one, but it just wasn't coming out right so she totally knocked it out of the park. Y'all should go bug her to do one for Dean and Beth, damn that would be hot!

By the way just curious if anyone wants to see the fight almost blow for blow (Bobby would have been a bit pissed if they burned down the gym) check out the scene from the Losers, which totally has the amazingly sexy Jeffrey Dean Morgan in it. It is epic I loved that scene lol!

Oh also the next chapter I am wanting to write is a chapter dealing with the immediate aftermath of the assault. Do you guys want to see that or would you rather I do Bloody Mary? I'm asking for opinions guys please.