My,it's been a long time,isn't it?
Don't worry,it's not The End,I simply have so little time to write fanfics,despite those cursed plot bunnies haunt me everyday!,
I plan for this fic to be epic in the number of chapters,you know^^
Anyone notice how HUGE the difference between Naruto regular series and The Last?,for once,animator does an impressive job on the character's personality,perhaps because Kishimoto watch them like a hawk :P
Here comes the chapter 2!
"Naruto would be sooooo much better without dat stupid love triangle&muh darkness" Kyuubi/Game Instruction
"Kishimoto made the eternally sexy and deliciously single Anko Motherfucking Mitarashi a fatass at the end of the series?...FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"Thoughts
CHAPTER 2
MORAL IS OVERRATED
"What have you done, Naruto?"A blonde-haired man who wears a coat with fire licked at the bottom suddenly appeared and start lecturing Naruto about seal and how dangerous they are
"Oh no, Sochi" A beautiful woman with a very long red hair appears beside the blonde man who just entering the first chapter of "The Origin of Seal, blah blah blah"
"Huh?, what are you two doing here?, is this where you live?,how much do you pay for the rent?"
"No Naruto, we are in your mindscape" The older blonde answered
"My mind….what?"
"What I mean is, this place is your subconscious" The beau-manly blond patiently answered
"What are you talking about?, sub..be clear and stop talking like an alien, Mr Pretty Boy!" Naruto shouted.
Just what the hell is this crossdresser talking about?, his head starts to hurt, just like when Iruka-sensei using mathematics to explain the speed and the angle when throwing a kunai, how is that even relevant?, all you need is hit your target!(in Naruto's books)
The red-haired woman smiling, then it turns into a grin, then she starts to snicker, finally she can't hold it anymore and let out a full-blown laughter
"Ahahahaha, oh that's rich!, even Naruto thinks you're a bishounen!, oh god my sides!"
Meanwhile the victim of the jokes can only twitch his facial muscle to stifle his anger, he always have a soft spot for that nickname, hell, the first time he met the girl who later becomes his wife, she started spewing lots of derogatory nicknames that caused a harsh blow to his self-esteem, even his sensei joins in make fun of him.
"Now Naruto, isn't it bad to call an alpha like me pretty? look at me closely, I'm the epitome of manliness!"
"You're right, I'm sorry to call you a pretty boy, you're that kind of girl who dress up like a man, didn't you?...what are they call it ,a tomboy?...but your voices can't lie, no matter how much you change your appearance"
"Ahahahaha!, oh stop it Sochi!, you're killing me" The freely laughing woman now lies on the ground when holding her sides
The "man" in question is now on full-body trembling, and he's so close to convulsing, all because the orange-jumpsuit boy who simply don't have any respect to his elder
"As much as I hate to disrupt your family reunion, I kinda have something more important to do, like achieving my freedom"
Suddenly ,chains starts appears out of nowhere, pinning the "Usagi-chan" to the ground
"Stop interfering our heartfelt moment, you overgrown pet!, can't you see we have the moment of our life here?"The red-haired woman felt annoyed that someone disturbing her first ever family gathering
Kyuubi start rambling in a low voice ,no, he doesn't have single shred of fear to that atrocious red-hair, he's just feeling generous at the moment ,so he kept himself from joining the conversation, after all, this is their last moment together.
About the chains which restrict him? , nah, he simply let it happen, there are a few itching spots in his back that his hands and tails can't reach, and the chains are doing a great job to scratch them
. About him sprawling in the floor?...nah ,he 's just felt tired, being locked in this lousy cage is hard on his beautiful body, so this is simply his form of relaxation
.He's the infamous Kyuubi no Yoko ,there's no way a puny human can hold some kind of control of him.
Suspecting him to be afraid of that fiery redhead is ridiculous,his trembling hands isn't the result of fear,he's brimming in excitement,due to his imminent freedom
He decided to show those inferior species that Patience is a Virtue, after all, he's already waiting for over 10 years for this moment of freedom, so additional hours of waiting won't hurt ,he's definitely doesn't scared of the woman or anything!
"Enough of this, both I and Kushina don't have much time, so we'll start explaining, Naruto ,I'm your father, My name is Namikaze Minato"
"So the tomato lady is my mother?"
"What did you just say?" Kushina gave Naruto her sweetest smile, for those who know her, this is the moment of" Repeat what you just said, I dare you, then I'll take you to meet your greatmaker in most painful way".The "Tomato" nickname is something Kushina wish to erase from his past,because she kinda see the resemblance herself when she looks at her own reflection in the mirror in her younger days,Kushina doesn't have any sense of fashion,so she design her long hair in a way that spark her infamous nickname ,the one who gave that nickname already dealt with,and no longer wish to speak about his opinion on impulse,those nice scars on the cheek and the forehead does help.
"Now now, don't be so mad about that Kushi-chan, he's just a kid and this the first time he met you" Minato appears to be wise, but inside his head the chibi version of him is doing a victory dance.
"That's what you get for laughing and doubting my manliness, muahahaha!"
"But, how did that possible?, Suzume-sensei said that babies delivered by a kind stork, which is the reason why I don't have any parents"
"Sochi, don't tell me you've never had "The Talk" yet?"Kushina looks worried about her son education
"Jiraiya-sensei or Hiruzen-ojii should have given them" Minato had a sad look, does this mean that the son he wish to be regarded as "The Hero" didn't even get proper education?
"Jimaiya and Hirujen?, I've never met them in my life!"Naruto looks confused
"Just what are you learning in the academy, Sochi?"Kushina almost afraid to ask, because she already predicted the answer
"Eh, mostly they teach us about history, then 3 academy jutsus, Bunshin, Kawarimi, and Henge, Bukijutsu lesson and practice, some taijutsu lesson and then spar, then my favorite, stealth training"
"What?,how come?,I didn't know The Academy's standard can drop that low in the span of 10 years!"
"What standard,Tomato-lady?"
"Calm down ,don't deliver bodily harm to him,he is your sochi"The Academy at the time of 3rd Shinobi War covers a lot of things,are you sure those are he only things you've learned?
"Well,they actually taught basic ninja wire,how to detect and dispel genjutsu,map reading,drawing,anatomy,sex education,flower arranging,those complicated mathematics and algebra,and the most useless thing to learn as a Shinobi,history"
"Still not enough,back then The Academy taught everything to survive a war"So,why don't you learn them?,don't tell me you ditch the class"Kushina said with a threatening tone
"I wish I could,but the instructor always throw me out of the class!.When they let me be in rare occasion,they throw me out because I raise my hand to ask about something,or put me in a detention"
Now Kushina enraged"See Minato,this is why I'm always against your decision to seal that furball to our son!,you simply put way too much trust to the village and it's residents!, look at what they done to my sochi!"
"I never know it's gonna be like this,Kushina,I wish for him to be viewed as a hero"
"and look at his body,how old are you now,sochi?"
"Eh,I'm 10- year old"
"See Minato,he's 10 year old now but has the height of a 6 year old!,if it's not the sign of severe malnutrition then I don't know what is!"
"Hey don't talk bad about my height,tomato-lady!,besides it's not my fault!"
"What do you mean by that,son?.You realize that in order to grow properly,you need to eat a lot of nutritious and balanced meal,like meat and protein,and don't forget milk to strengthen your bones"
"The shops never let me!,and the money jiji gave me can only afford a few cups of ramen and a glass of milk!,thank god Teuchi-jiji ramen stand!,they gave me a cheap price for the delicious ramen!"
"You know what,I wanna say "I TOLD YOU SO!" but I simply don't have the spirit anymore,what the heck did that perverted hermit do?,drown himself in his research and leave our son alone?, we should have give the role of godfather to someone responsible like Choza,he'll never let our son like this"
"Yes,I know,I fucked up,and I can't think of a way to make it up to him ,our time is limited Kushina,so say what you want to say to Naruto"
"Well,I-"
"So,you two are my parents?,for real?,how did that happen?"
Kushina&Minato knows it's time for "The Talk",so Minato took the role of "responsible father" and start it with the typical:"Well,when a man and a woman loves each other very much"
After a long&exhausting,very detailed explanation,Minato finally finished.
"So,do you have any question?"
"Yes,what is love?"
If Kyuubi isn't busy "relaxing" himself,he would facepalm,with all of his tails,the detestable blondie and redhead devil already gone through a lot of things in their explanation and the shrimp doesn't even catch anything?,he would hate to be in their position right now.
"Uh,Minato?,I hate to say this about my own flesh and blood,but it seems to me me that you should keep it simple,and don't use any hard words,his brain can't handle it…yet"
"Err"
One thing everyone knew about Minato,he is a genius.
The genius always have the same problem,when they face something that outside their calculation,they simply don't know what to do and then hit the panic button,in his panicked state,Minato said
"Well,my testic-err,my balls has sper-I mean stuffs that makes babies?"Now it sounds more like a question rather than an explanation
"Well,what is the Tomato-lady role in this?"
"Well,when mommy and daddy ready to have you,Iputmydickinyourmommysvagina!"
Kushina sputtered in embarrassment,geez,can Minato be any more subtle about this?
Naruto needs a time to process his words,then he comes with a million dollar question
"What is dick?"
"It's,uh-the thing you use when you uri-emm,take a piss"
"Huh,what is my toilet have to do with making babies?"
"No,not that sochi,what your father wants to say is,the-ummm,things you have inside your pants"
"My underwear?,so my underwear can make babies?,awesome!"
"You got that wrong son,it's the thing you have inside your underwear"
"Oh,you mean my pee-pee!,why don't you just say so?"
"Safe"Both of them thoughts in unison
"Ok I know what dick is,so,what's a vagina?"
"It's the thing only woman has,in the same place of your pee-pee"
"Ok,and how does it look like?,I've never seen one!"
"Goddamn,what a wild question,how can I explain to him about that?"Minato is in a dilemma
A light bulb appears inside Minato's mind "I know,Kushina,show him yours!"
"Wait, WHAT?!,Minato you can't be serious!,I'm his mother!,it's utterly embarrassing to show that to my adolescence sochi!"
"Well,how do you think we can show him one?,geez..in times like this,I wish I have Jiraiya-sensei's Icha-Icha:Bird and Bees Edition"
"This is the first time I agree with you about that horrible excuse of literature"
"So what do we do now?,we don't have much time left"
"I have an idea!,Kagebunshin!"
"Nice one,Minato!,but whose body are we gonna use as the model?'
They're in a bind,Kushina trying to find someone whom she'll never jealous of,and Minato actually have lots of recommendation,especially Mikoto,but he's too afraid to say it out loud,he still want his important appendage intact,thank you very much.
After a long thinking,Kushina finally come to a candidate
"How about showing our sochi the body of Tsunade-baachan?"
Minato took time to process what Kushina just said,no he's definitely NOT thinking about those gigantic bazongas!
"What?,Kushina I can't do that!…she's like a mother I never have!...doing that feels simply wrong!.
"Well if you're too much of a prude fine then,I'll be the one who'll show him"
Kushina putting the handsign and yelled"Kagebunshin no Jutsu!"
"Before I henge my clone and show sochi everything about a woman body,Minato can you turn around please?,don't even hope to peek or I'll show you hell way beyond what you experienced in Shinigami's stomach"
Minato quickly turn around.
Some of his friends may call him "whipped" but actually he's not,he simply respect Kushina,and he definitely not looking forward to the torture,the risk he would have take is simply heavier than what it's worth,but he can't help but curious to see what Jiraiya-sensei refer to "The Pair of Boobs from another dimension"
When Minato is battling with his own desires,Kushina instruct her clones to henge into The Slug Sannin.
Kushina knows Tsunade's three sizes because they often visit hot springs together,and she did receive quite a blow seeing her own defeat in terms of..you know.
"Now sochi,first I'm gonna show you which part of woman's body that are different from their male counterpart"
"Okay"
"You,open your clothes,now!"
The clone simply did what her master asked
Kyuubi has to maneuver one of his tail to cover his nose,no,he doesn't have a nosebleed,it would be silly if a demon lord feels aroused seeing those fine piece of-no, pathetic parts of those miserable weakling human.
He's just catching hay fever,so his nose is totally runny right now.
"Amazing!,what is these part called?"Naruto looks excited,mainly because now he got an explanation about new things.
"That sochi is commonly called breast,however people do have other names for them,such as boobs,fun airbags,dairy pillows,knockers,titties,milk jugs, Chitty bang bangs,or whatever you want to call them"
Meanwhile,Minato can't help but overhears the conversation,and can't help but insert his own reaction,internally
"Tsunade-bachan boobs are definitely Zeppelin,I'm 100% sure!"
"But Kaa-san,those breast are gigantic!,I think one of them is bigger than my head!,how does that possible?"
"Oh sochi,you finally call me Kaa-san!"Kushina flying tackle Naruto to the ground,she's brimming in happiness now.
Minato has different reactions,when he heard what his son said,his nosebleed gushes uncontrollably.
"Calm down,just calm the fuck down Minato!,Tsunade is like a mother to you,remember?!"
While Minato is fighting a losing battle,Kushina starts to explain
"Every woman has their own sizes, the model I use here is simply born lucky,that's all."
"Can I see yours,Kaa-san?"
Minato,who finally able to control his own nosebleed by ripping the sleeves of his coat and use them as a plug,attacked with an even greater force of nosebleed.
"The weather is hectic and stormy with a chance of wincest"is what replaying in Minato's mind now
"Sure,Sochi,here,feast your eyes on this"Kushina open the top of her dress
"Wow,I like yours better,Kaa-san!.It's cherry blossom pink and definitely perkier than the model!"
"For that compliment alone,I'll let you touch them as you please,come on,don't be shy"
"Wow,it feels like the paws of a pug I've found in the training ground,so soft"
Kyuubi is grinning from ear to ear " finally,a worthy entertainment"
Minato only have a single thoughts "Gods and above,you're very cruel to me,why don't you let me watch?...Kami answer me!"
"Okay that's enough,now let's move to the next part"Kushina said with a bated breath
Kushina couldn't help but think "I was so close,no control yourself Kushina!,don't taste the forbidden fruit!...It's forbidden for a good reason!"
"I won't show sochi my most treasured part,thank god for the clone"
"Now,clone-chan,strip!"
The clone did what she asked.
"Well,that vixen is a true Senju"Kyuubi said.
What Kyuubi refer to is the pubic hair of the clone,who bears a perfect symbol of Senju clan,in blonde hair,of course.
"Right,I forgot how loyal Tsunade-baachan is towards her clan"Kushina deadpanned
"In times like this,I really wish I've learned Sage Mode"Minato lamented
"Right,pay attention, is the part called "Vagina".Kushina pointed the part with a stick which she got from who knows where
"However,that only the serious name of it,like the breasts,people also have other names for it,such as:Honey Pot,Flower Petal,Meat Wallet,Cunt,Pussy,Venus Fly Trap,whatever you want to call them"
"I prefer to call that Pink Tacos"Minato put his own two-cents,inside his mind.
"Ha!,The Abyss is much more cooler!,or Chasm of DOOM!"Kyuubi is a millennia-old,so his language is totally different from normal human,but fyi,the author kinda like how that sounds.
"Oooh,so that how it looks like,what is this yellow fur doing down there,Kaa-san?"
"That's not a fur,you silly!...that is the pubic hair,you'll get them when you start to enter the adulthood,now why don't you try to touch it?"Kushina is absent from her son's life for 10 years,so don't be mean to her!.
She only wants to ensure her son get the proper education,even though it's morally wrong.
"It felt..prickly,is it normal,Kaa-san?"
"Yes,that's just how it is,now,why don't you move your hand lower and touch The Heart Shaped-Box"
"What?"
"Another nickname,do it!"
"Now do you see the holes?,the upper one is for urinating,the lower one is for fun things"
"Fun things?,I like doing fun things!,like what?"
"Uh,just ask your father later"
Minato cursed"Why did she leave the hard part to me?"
"Now,insert your finger to the lower holes"
"Ehhhh,I don't want to,isn't it hurt?"
"Don't worry,it's just a clone"
Minato desperately wanted to point out that no matter what the clone felt,the sensations gonna transferred back to the original when it dispel,but his pervy side won the argument so he let it slide.
"Okay"
"You're doing a good job,sochi!,you really are your father son"
"I do?,thanks Kaa-san!"Naruto rarely get an acknowledgement in his life,so its totally understandable why he's so happy about it,even thought he's now doing questionable things to his mother(clone).
"You have to pay attention to the clone reaction,find the weak spot that makes clone-chan shows different reaction!"
"Your wish is my command,Kaa-chan!"
By now Naruto move his fingers frantically,the sound alone is enough to make Minato has a severe case of bloodloss.
"I'm her husband,for crying out loud,why don't I allowed to watch,I envy you son,but I'm also proud of you!"
"Oh my,this is hot,I should record this in my memory,I can use this when I enjoying myself at the fox realm"If any of the readers still wondering if Kyuubi is a pervert or not,here's your answer.
"Now look again at the top of the clone's coochie,Sochi,can you see it?,no don't stop!"
"Yes I can,Kaa-san,what is it?,why is it come out now?,they're not there at the beginning,it's kinda looks like a pearl"
"That's my sweet sochi is Clitoris"
"Cli-?"
"Clitoris,it's only came out when a woman feels horny"
"What is horny?"
"That's a state when a woman ready to have babies,keep em up,looks like clone-chan is close!"Kushina keep encouraging her son
"Dear God,please have a mercy on this poor soul and make them finish whatever they're currently doing,I promise I'll be a good boy"Minato is now kneeling because the size of his pants is…changing
"Ahhhhhhhhhh!"Kushina's clone scream pierced the heavens and make Aphrodite blush
"I'll do anything to get orgasm that intense,lucky human!"
"Mommy,is the clone okay?"
"Don't worry, that 's the proof that you have a skilled fingers!"
"So what was that just now,Kaa-chan?"
"That sochi is an orgasm,a state when a woman is satisfied by his partners,lesson finished!.Minato,you can turn around now!"Kushina is happy getting the job well done
"Err,wait a sec,I'm not ready"
"Down boy!,down!"
"Alright,thank for your service,clone-chan,you can dispel now"
"Wait Kushina don-"
The moment the clone dispel herself, it's Kushina's turn to feel her sochi ministrations
"Oh God what is this Aaaaahhhhhhhh"
"What the-again?,now I feel threatened"Yep,it's the lovely Aphrodite.
"What happened?,is Kaa-chan okay Tou-san?"Naruto looks worried
"I want to hug you to show my happiness for calling me Tou-san,unfortunately my little dragon thinks otherwise,oh joy"
"She's okay, just a little tired after the lesson"
"So,how exactly you made the babies again?"
"Well,when mommy and daddy ready to have you,daddy put his Vlad The Impaler inside mommy Slice of Heaven"
Naruto looks horrified at the revelation
"No No No!,Kaa-chan that's horrible,how could you let Tou-san do that to you?"
"Mmmmh,Ish Okaaayyy,'t feels gooood"Kushina slurred,still at the top of the world
"It feels good?,really daddy?
"Yes,it 's the moment you feel like a man,you know"Minato replied with a foxy grin.
"Come to think of it,Tou-chan?,what is Usagi-chan doing here?"
Minato starts explaining from the beginning,and ended it with a question if Naruto hate him.
"Eh,No..of course not,sure I feel lonely but no one did anything to harm me.
It''s good to finally know who my parents are,even though you're not my idol"
"And who's your idol,son?"Minato appears calm but he cries internally
"Please whoever it was,don't let it be Danzo!"
"Yondaime Hokage,of course"Naruto didn't recognize Minato because he never knew the real name of Yondaime.
He doesn't even get the history books which include the portrait of Konoha no Kiiroi Senkou.
The Library lady always throw him out,so his only information about his idol only comes from Jiji's heroic stories,and Yondaime face on the Hokage's mountain which become his most favorite place,whenever he felt sad or lonely,or when he wants to watch the pretty sunset and the beauty of Konohagakure from above
"…."
"…."
"Son,I am Yondaime"Minato twirl and show Naruto the back of his coat with the letter Yondaime Hokage engraved on his back"
Naruto eyes went wide,his dad is the infamous Yondaime!,and the next thing Minato knows is he currently in the ground and his son entrapping him in a bear hug
"Iamsohappy"Naruto repeated this over and over like a broken records.
Kyuubi watching this scene with a sincere smil-a bloodthirsty grin in his face,he admit that this situation is adora-so disgustingly sappy he felt like plucking his eyeballs out
Suddenly,a blue screen appears in front of him(the chains already released the moment Kushina..yeah)
GAIN YOUR FREEDOM IN EXCHANGE OF BECOME THE PLAYER'S ORIGIN?
[YES] [NO]
Kyuubi is an intelligent creature,he won't jump into the fire like an idiot,so he mutters
"Explanations of Origin"
Origin is like a familiar exclusive only for the player,the example for it is Animal Summoning.
The differences are Origin share his mastery,like if an origin has an advanced water elemental,he'll share the mastery with the player,unlike Animal Summoning however ,Calling for Origin doesn't waste chakra,but MP.
"Ho, that means I can go back to Fox Realm and Gaki can call anytime he wants,as long as he has this MP-thingy,what if I say no?"
Hakke Fuuin No Shiki will revert to the original state
"So,basically,saying no means no freedom?..well,my choice is obvious"Kyuubi press the YES
Sandaime Hokage,Sarutobi Hiruzen,is having a good day.
The paperwork is done,no pesky meeting with the "honorable" council,and no one come to report the mission.
That means he can indulge himself on his hobbies,smoking his pipes and read a certain orange book of goodness,he's on the part where Keiko can't help but indulge in her guilty pleasure with Manabu behind her husband back,and now is the time of much appreciated steamy Kotatsu Stealth Sex scene.
"Ha,I dare someone or something to disturb my safe haven,I'll show them how scary The God Of Shinobi is!"
The Murphy Law show it's power when a pillar of red light appears in the area of Naruto's apartment which located in Red Light district,along with the enormous and heavy chakra of Kyuubi no Youko.
Sarutobi only have two words to describe his feeling right now
"OH SHIT!"
Now to the million-dollar question!
Should I bump the rating to M?
EDIT:Rating Updated!
I Feel So Dirty and Used After Writing This...Just Kidding
Quote of The Day:
EMBRACE YOUR PERVYNESS!