Kiss me hard before you go
Summertime sadness
I just wanted you to know
That, baby, you're the best
I got my red dress on tonight
Dancing in the dark in the pale moonlight
Done my hair up real big beauty queen style
High heels off, I'm feeling alive
Oh, my God, I feel it in the air
Telephone wires above are sizzling like a snare
Honey, I'm on fire, I feel it everywhere
Nothing scares me anymore
Summertime Sadness
Cole's POV
Duluth, Minnesota
Two Weeks Ago
My phone rang as I was walking down the side street I'd parked my car on; I fished around in my purse looking for it. Nothing. Then I started digging through my jeans pockets, still nothing. "God please don't hang up." I groaned as I struggled with my bags, setting them down on my car. I finally fished my cell phone out of my jacket pocket. Thankfully, it was still ringing. I flipped it open hitting send then I unlocked my car and began putting my purchases away.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Nicole Singer?" The voice on the other end questioned.
"Yes." I answered making an effort to appear bright and perky. I was waiting on several callbacks from recent job interviews.
"This is Marion Fleming with St Luke's Hospital. You came in and sat for an interview with us the other day?" She said.
"Oh yes ma'am I did." I said eagerly, I'd put away the last of my things and set down in the car, putting my key in the ignition and rolling down the window to let in the fresh coastal air.
"Well I just wanted to inform you that you've gotten the job." She said brightly. "Can you start Monday?" She asked.
I fought to contain a squeal of excitement; I finally had a permanent job instead of working travel nursing and per diem gigs all across the country. I could settle, make a few friends that weren't simply hunters and make enemies that weren't strictly monsters or demons or witches. I breathed deeply to calm myself down a bit. I cleared my throat so that hopefully; my voice would come out sounding somewhat normal. "Yes ma'am. I can start Monday, that'll give me the weekend to unpack and get settled into the new house." I said.
"All right then. Come prepared to do the first week of orientation, and then you'll start work." She said.
"Okay sounds great." I said lightly. "Thank you." I said as I hung up the phone. I took a moment once I was sure the phone was off I let out a very un-Cole like squeal and did a tiny happy dance in my seat. I'm sure I looked like a complete and utter moron to anyone passing me by. But at that moment I didn't exactly care.
I turned the key in the ignition and my car started up. I put the car in drive and pulled out of the car park. Then my phone began ringing again. I put the car back in park and looked at the screen. John. "Yay! Hi!" I said happily.
"Hey. Someone sounds happy." He greeted.
I smiled licking my lips. "I am. I got a job like two seconds ago." I said with a huge grin on my face.
John laughed. "Of course you got a job. You're downright respectable."
"Eh." I said wrinkling my nose. "So what's up?" I asked.
"I'm going to be coming through town, I won't be able to stay long, a night or two at the most, but I was wondering if you wanted to get out and maybe go to a nice…." John got cut short as I noticed someone rushing up to the car.
A man with his face-covered rushed my car with a gun drawn. "Get out of the car now!" He roared. "Get off the phone and get out of the car and no one has to get hurt!" He yelled.
I fought to at least keep my face neutral. I couldn't pull off scared. There was no way. I spoke slowly into the phone. "John don't hang up. I'll be right back." I said fighting to keep my voice calm and not allow my amusement to come through. Bastard had picked the wrong prey today.
I could hear John spluttering on the other end. "Are you getting car jacked?" He asked. "You picked the wrong woman asshole!" Was the last thing I heard as I dropped my phone onto the seat. John was still on the line, I swear if I listened hard enough I could hear him laughing, or maybe I was hearing laughing because I couldn't laugh.
I slowly put my hands up moving one to the door. "Okay. I'm gonna get out of the car." I said keeping my voice calm when I wanted nothing more than to go completely crazy on this moron. I assessed his position: he was close enough, I could use the door as a weapon and at the height my hands were currently I could deflect the gun with his itchy trigger finger, away from me. John would be seriously pissed if I got shot, especially by a human.
I brought both hands up between me and the gun. My left hand moved to the door handle, whereas my right moved as though I was getting out of the car. Between my body and the barrel of the .22 Smith and Wesson Revolver pointed at my head, let me tell you not a lot of margin for error there.
I wrenched open the door as hard as I could while my right hand deflected the gun from my head, towards the opposite window. I was right this bozo had an itchy trigger finger, a fact that was proven by the glass shattering on the opposite window. "Oh you son of a bitch!" I snarled sounding incredibly like Dean if you asked me. Now I was positive I could hear John laughing on the other end.
I jerked the small gun out of the man's hand, as he hit the ground from the door throwing him backwards. I stepped out of the car, aiming a kick at the man's family jewels to keep him down for a bit. I turned the gun on him, my finger on the trigger, as I cocked it, keeping my gun arm back enough out of his reach that he wouldn't be able to disarm me. I leaned forward as the man lost consciousness for a few seconds and patted him down quickly. He was carrying nothing but the little revolver and a lock pick kit, and a slim Jim.
I pursed my lips. I felt a wallet in his pocket. I snorted, chuckling. "You fucking idiot." I said lightly. I reached along into his jeans pocket, extracting the wallet. I flipped it open finding a driver's license, a social security card, and a work license. I checked the folds to see how much Aaron Marks carried on him, finding about five hundred in cash. I reached in, pulling out the cash and placed it in the cup of my bra.
Aaron had woken up with enough time to see this, and his eyes widened. "Hey buddy you're awake!" I said in a falsely cheery voice. He looked at me startled, and then started to scramble away. "Uh uh." I said softly, and then he noticed the gun I had trained on him, his own. "I wouldn't." I said just as soft.
Aaron froze. "Now. I'm going to give you a few pointers." I said softly. "Next time you want to rob someone, don't place the gun right to their head, if they know what they're doing, it makes it too easy to disarm you. Second never go in through an open window or they can use the door against you as a weapon, case and point. Third. If you're going to be fucking stupid enough to try and rob someone, never carry a wallet on you. Cash I can understand, but a wallet? Seriously!" I sighed at the man's stupidity.
"I don't know if you considered this or not. But I'm new to town. I plan on staying awhile, and my boyfriend well he doesn't like threats against me, for that matter neither do I. Now, I'm going to let you live, hell I won't even call the police, however if I hear of another robbery that even sounds like it could be you. I'll come find you." I said with a predatory smirk on my face.
He paled at the comment. He looked a little stupid. I decided to spell it out for him. "You live at 1329 Fennell Road. Duluth Minnesota." If possible, he went paler. "Have a nice day now friend." I snapped gathering the slim Jim and lock pick kit. I stood and walked to my car. I un-cocked the gun and tossed it under the seat. The slim Jim went under the seat with it and the lock pick kit went into a pocket.
I shut the car door, and rolled up the window, risking a glance back at Aaron Marks, he was still sitting stunned just staring after me. I picked up the phone. I could hear John calling for me on the other end. "For fuck's sake if you don't pick up the goddamned phone…" He snarled as I pressed the phone to my ear.
"Yeah yeah, keep your panty hose on." I drawled cutting him off mid-sentence.
"What the hell do you think you're doing fighting off gun wielding car thieves with my baby in your belly?" He asked his voice furious.
"Well, it isn't like I had much of a choice now is it?" I asked heatedly pulling out of the side street onto one of the main roads I thought might take me back to the small house I had rented down by the docks, close to the warehouse district. "You weren't here, and it wasn't your head the retard held a gun to." I sighed snippily.
"What did you get out of the deal?" John asked. "I heard a gun go off."
"Yeah, moron had his finger on the trigger; he blew out my passenger side window. On the plus side, I got a .22 Smith and Wesson Revolver, a slim Jim, another lock pick kit ooh and he had five hundred bucks in cash on him." I said with a grin. Then I remembered the scratch off tickets I'd found in his front shirt pocket.
John whistled appreciatively. "Damn baby you cleaned up."
I fished out the scratch off tickets and looked at them. "And judging by the scratch off tickets I found I also won sixty bucks. Hehehe. Man he picked the wrong day to go robbing people." I said excitedly. "Anyways you were saying something about going out when you get back into town?" I asked.
"Yeah." John said returning to the subject at hand. "Let's go out and have a nice normal evening." He added.
"Okay." I agreed. "So when are you coming in?" I asked.
"Independence Day." He said.
"All right, I'll scope someplace out." I said grinning like crazy.
"Sounds good. I love you. I'll see you tomorrow." He said.
"I love you too. Be careful." I said softly.
John just chuckled in response and said. "Careful is my middle name. Bye sweetheart."
I smiled and sent up a silent prayer that he would indeed be careful. "Bye." I said before pulling the phone away from my ear and hanging up.
Cole's House
Present Day
I walked into the house, locking the door behind me. I was whipped. I padded through the living room and down the hallway, my gaze zeroed in on the door that leads to my bed. Oh how I'd missed my bed. I came into the room kicking off my shoes and already pulling my scrub pants off tossing them into a corner to be washed whenever I became conscious again, hopefully that wouldn't be for a while.
I changed out of my scrubs leaving on just my undies and the tank top I'd been wearing underneath my scrub top, and crawled into bed dragging the covers up over me. I was fully prepared to pass the heck out and the best part was I wouldn't even have to wake up until I was absolutely ready. I had the coming night off so I would be free to find some junk food and just chill.
I breathed deeply just loving the feeling of my body relaxing on the mattress. Closing my eyes I just continued taking deep breathes in and out, forgetting all about my hectic shift. In no time, at all I was floating in that relaxing lull between wake and sleep.
Then my phone started ringing. I groaned and considered ignoring it, whomever it was they could leave a message. I focused on relaxing the tense muscles across my shoulders blades, drifting back into the land of unconsciousness, when my phone rang again.
I threw an arm out to the side snatching my phone off the night table and jerked it open pressing it to my ear. "Hello." I growled. This had better be good.
"Hey baby, did I wake you?" A smile crossed my face even though I was absolutely pissed at being disturbed.
"Mmmm mmm. Not exactly. I just got off work and was almost asleep." I said softly my voice sounding drowsy now that I was relaxing again.
"I'm sorry I woke you. I tried to catch you before you went to sleep." He said his voice lowering.
"S'okay." I said. Closing my eyes and just listening to him on the other end.
"I just wanted to have you go and get the truck before it gets towed, and someone finds the false floor under the bed." He said softly.
"Okay." I said softly. "Text me the address and when I wake up I'll get started on getting it towed back here." I answered my voice growing heavy.
"I love you Nicole." He said softly. I was so close to going under I simply nodded my head and managed a soft groan, to let him know I heard. I didn't even bother hanging up the phone, I just fell asleep with it open and right next to my ear.
Cole's House
Two Weeks Ago
I glanced at my reflection in the mirror as I straightened my hair, adding at least another six inches to the length of it. The tangled jumbled mess was practically to my butt, and it had taken literally two hours to straighten it. My arms were starting to shake from the exhaustion of holding them up and bending them into such weird positions.
Once I had straightened the last strand of curls, I ran my fingers through my hair shocked at the transformation. Before tackling my hair knowing it was going to take the longest, I'd already changed wearing a gorgeous silvery blue dress that hugged my breasts nicely with a fitted sewn in cinch of the same color and material, then flared out right where my baby bump began the flowing skirt drifting just past my knees and I loved it. Currently I was wearing a ratty old t-shirt over it to keep from getting anything on the dress. I'd done my make-up earlier also opting for a smoky eye look, I had to say I was very pleased with the overall effect.
I turned throwing on my heels as I walked down the hall leading to the front door to go start the car. I pulled open the front door to find John standing on my front porch as his hand rose preparing to knock. My eyes widened in shock.
"Oh my God. Are you okay?" I asked, grabbing his hand and pulling him inside.
I attempted to fit myself under his arm, but stopped abruptly when he growled at me. Then I noticed how he was hugging the arm to his body. That's gotta be dislocated. I moved back around him to the other side attempting to tuck myself in under his shoulder. He refused to allow me to help him into the bathroom, his body staying firmly away from mine.
"Will you quit being so stubborn and let me help you?" I asked angrily.
"What I can see of your dress looks gorgeous and I'm not going to get blood on it." He said steadily refusing to rise to the bait.
"You're bleeding?" I asked once I'd set him down on the toilet and pulled his jacket off. "John we should get you to a hospital." I tried although I wasn't even surprised when I was met with a resounding no.
I bent down looking for the medical kit while John pulled his over shirt and the plain white T he had underneath off. When I turned back around to face him I gasped. His entire left shoulder was black and blue from the joint being dislocated, he had a couple of scrapes that were bleeding profusely on his shoulder and arm.
"John that shoulder is really messed up." I said trying again.
He cut me off. "No it isn't, I'll be fine Nicole, now just pop it back into place. We're going to be late for our reservation."
My eyes widened "You still want to go to dinner? Are you insane Winchester? You need to lay low and give yourself time to heal." I said.
"Not happening, sweetheart. We are going to dinner." He said softly.
I bit my lip frowning at him worriedly. This was the final track. I knew it. He had finally hit that one-way rail line that would take him away from me and home to Mary. I shoved those thoughts out of my head. I knew he loved me, and no matter what others had said no matter how different our relationship was to the one he'd had with his wife, he still loved her.
I saw it every time we were on a hunt and he got that little bit closer to getting Yellow Eyes. He would become almost fanatical for weeks it was all he could think about, all he would talk about. This time would be no different.
"Hey." He said softly bringing up a hand to caress my cheek. "I'm fine. I came this close to grabbing the son of a bitch that knows where he's at." He said his eyes darkening at the thought. "Besides you're right, I could use a night off. And what better way than with a sexy blonde, that already has me calculating the earliest I could possibly get her home and into her pants?"
I couldn't help myself I smiled slightly at him. "Dirty old man." I said with a light laugh.
Cole's House
Present Day
I was putting the final additions on a sandwich, which I have to say looked nasty, when my phone rang. I put down the chocolate sauce before reaching for my phone on the table. Beth was calling.
"Hey!" I said my voice high and chipper.
"Cole." She responded. She was about to say more but I cut her off.
"Good thing you called because I'm about to eat this absolutely disgusting sandwich. We're talking pickles, tabasco sauce, tomatoes, ham, turkey, cheese, and my personal favorite chocolate sauce." I said, licking the combination of chocolate and tabasco off my finger. Hmm not too bad.
"Cole." Beth repeated this time a little louder breaking through my happy bubble. I paused listening to the sound of her voice. "Cole, something's happened, it's Dad," She said softly.
At her words I felt as if someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my head. No! It couldn't be.
Beth paused letting my digest that she had something horrible that I needed to hear.
"What?" I questioned my voice coming out rock steady even with an undercurrent of fear.
"We think it was Yellow Eyes, the demon that killed Mary. We're taking him to Bobby's." She said hesitantly.
"Is he going to be all right?" I asked, with a hope that was stomped on when I heard Beth's voice quaver.
"Cole, he died at ten forty one this morning." She said softly. "We uh, we're waiting on official autopsy results and then they're going to let us take him home to bury him." She explained.
I felt a sharp stabbing pain in my heart, like someone had plunged a knife into it. No I couldn't do this. It wasn't fair. We'd had one final night together and I'd tried to pick a fight with him once again my insecurities had come rushing to the surface and I'd let them take over.
The physical pain of what Beth was saying to me was like a punch to my gut, but the emotional sensations might as well have been null and void. "I'll see you at Dad's." I said hanging up the phone.
I turned away placing the phone back on the hook, before moving into my bedroom and grabbing my duffel out from under my bed. I lifted it on to the bed and felt the weariness of the day hit me. There was no way I was driving anywhere right now, I'd been up all night, I was exhausted. With a sigh I lay back on the bed and felt tears starting to build in my eyes. Blinking them back I rolled over, pulling the pillow beside me in to my chest and holding it close. My world had just shattered and I didn't know what I was going to do.
Cole's House
Two Weeks Ago
"I don't understand why you won't drop this Nicole." John said running a tired hand across his eyes.
"Drop what?" I asked innocently. As I found the key for the deadbolt and unlocked the door pushing my way inside.
"The same piece of insanity you've been chewing on for hours." He said trying to keep the weariness from his voice. "My god you're like a pit bull with a death grip."
"I just don't understand why you won't let me in. Why don't you want to talk to me about this?" I asked hotly.
"Nicole it isn't that I don't want to talk to you about this. It's that I'm trying to protect you." John said his voice rising slightly.
"No it's not that you're trying to protect me it's that you're trying to protect your family. Because no one is better at protecting the Winchester's better than John Winchester can. Little hint for you John, Mary's dead. You failed there." I said getting irritated, what the hell was wrong with me? I was still pushing this, and I knew it wasn't true but for some reason I couldn't shake it. I was infuriated. I knew he needed to find the demon that killed his wife, even if it was simply for revenge. If I knew the demon responsible for killing my mom was still walking around I would need to find it and destroy it, so why was I constantly battling myself? I knew John loved me, but lately I'd found myself needing more than his love.
I wanted him in my life on a constant daily basis, maybe it was that I was pregnant, and the added hormones were messing with me. Maybe I was just living up to my reputation of being a selfish, spoiled brat, which John often called me on when I was becoming irrational. Maybe I was falling back on trying to push him away, so that I wouldn't get hurt when things turned ugly.
John's face darkened, and more fury, anger, and self-loathing than I'd ever seen on another living soul crossed his face as he took a menacing step forward. I shivered, my self-preservation instinct kicking in as I took a step back away from him.
I took another involuntary step back and inwardly cringed when my back pressed against the kitchen table. I stepped to the side trying to keep some distance between us. John caged me in, his arms coming around me to rest like steel bands preventing me from running. "I'm only going to say this once Nicole. I loved my wife. And I am so in love with you, I can't get through five minutes without thinking of you. However, if you ever say that to my face again, I will bend you over my knee and whip your spoiled little ass." John didn't raise his voice, he didn't need to. If anything his voice was pitched so low, I could barely hear him.
I nodded, licking my lips apprehensively. However at his crude words I couldn't stop the tiny shiver of anticipation that ran through my body and sent my blood singing through my veins.
John pulled back slightly an altogether different look crossing his face, saying, "And now that I know what's worrying you…" He leaned forward and captured my lips hungrily.
I sighed in relief at once again having him with me. It had been too long.
Sioux Falls
Bobby's House
Present Day
By the time I made it to my Dad's house it was the middle of the night. The lights were on, and I could see Beth, Dean and Sam in the living room, drowning their sorrows and finding comfort in a bottle of whiskey. They weren't paying any attention to what was going on around them, if they had been, they would have noticed the glare of headlights coming through the window moments earlier.
I stood silently in the dark of the porch, just watching them, as I had several times before over the last year as our hunts for Grace and Yellow Eyes took John and I almost directly into their path more than once. I would always find a quiet dark place and watch them from the shadows. The shadows had become my home and apparently, I would be staying here for a while, so I might as well get comfortable.
Distaste was bitter and strong in my mouth as I looked around, wrapping my arms around myself. I detested this place. Everywhere I turned, there were memories. I turned away from the house not ready to go inside yet. I wandered quietly around the front porch, making my way into the garage. I looked blankly around, there was a table pushed up along one wall that was usually piled high with tools. Tonight as I carefully studied the table, I detected the faint outline of a body: one that I knew well.
I pressed my lips together and steeled myself for what I was about to do. I moved forward as the door to the garage opened. I ignored whoever was coming. I had just as much right to be here as anyone. I continued forward, ignoring the muffled curse from my father. When I reached the table my stomach was in knots, and grief clutched my insides in a hard vice-like unshakeable grip.
My heart pounded hard and denial raged through my mind as I focused on what I knew I would find once I got up the nerve to raise my hand to the drop cloth covering John's body. I raised my hand, and noted briefly that it was shaking. That was the only clue anyone around me would have to the absolute denial, grief and heartache I was experiencing.
Dad moved up beside me. He had seemed surprised to see me moments earlier, but now he just stood silently lending me his quiet strength. I'd gotten that from him, but sometimes it was nice to have someone you didn't have to be so strong for. There had only ever been one person I'd ever let myself be truly vulnerable around. And that son of a bitch had left me.
I breathed evenly in and out as rage boiled its way through my body. "Nicole." My dad said, causing me to hesitate. I paused slightly turning my head towards my father. I swallowed past the hard lump in my throat that was pure fury and anguish threatening to come to the surface.
I stared evenly at him, my gaze steady and emotionless. I felt his hesitation at what he found in my gaze. Whatever glimmer of the little girl he'd once loved was gone. She was dead. She had been for days now. "Don't call me that." I said in a monotonous voice, no emotion whatsoever. The few emotions I wanted to display were so destructive they would take me down. For now, I had to push everything back behind a wall in my mind as a way to stay sane.
Dad simply watched me, shock and tears brimming in his eyes. I'd hurt him. I felt a pang of guilt stab through my heart. No matter our differences, or similarities, I'd never wanted to hurt him. He was my father. But at this point to even acknowledge the fact that I'd hurt him would cause me to spiral out of control.
He coughed, the sound coming out gruff, and reached past me pulling back the sheet covering John's body. I gazed at him apathetically, my eyes tracing his face, noting every scar, every plane and ridge that I would never get to see again. I noticed that his body appeared fine. He didn't have a wound anywhere on him. Even the wounds I'd tended to just two weeks ago were healed.
Beth had told me when she called and gave me the news that they thought it was the demon. I closed my eyes against that thought and an icy determination gripped me. God how I desperately hoped it had been the demon, I was going to hunt him down. I took a deep steadying breath as Dad covered John's body with the sheet again.
"It's late Cole. Let's go get some sleep." Dad said softly.
I turned away from the body, away from my father, my arms crossing and strode down the length of the garage. "No." I said simply. I had something I needed to do, and it needed to be done quickly.
I was almost to the entrance of the garage when my dad's voice stopped me. "This is your home you know. I want you to stay, please." He said softly, I'd never heard my dad beg for anything, but I was almost positive he was close to begging me to stay.
The door opened again and light from inside the house illuminated a petite frame. I looked at Beth, or rather through her. She stepped out into the garage. "Cole." She said simply, she stepped towards me and I fought to keep my mask in place. She took another step forward her arms opening wide.
I forced myself to remain where I was. This was my sister, my best friend. I needed her even though I refused to need anyone. She enclosed me in her arms, and I found myself relaxing out of habit. I pulled away abruptly practically ripping myself out of her arms. No I had to go I couldn't stay here. "I've got to go." I said briskly, trying to keep myself together.
"Cole, where do you have to go?" She asked softly.
I inhaled. "He called me a few days ago when he was still in the hospital and told me to go get the truck. He said he wanted it towed back to my place."
Beth nodded at me reassuringly. My dad moved up beside me. "I can go with you, in the morning. We can go together." He said his voice sounding uncharacteristically gruff.
I nodded. "Yeah. That sounds good." I said softly. "Get some sleep dad. I'll come by in the morning."
"Baby, please stay here." Dad said. "I would feel a lot better knowing we were all under one roof again."
I shook my head, no.
"At least come out to the gym with me. We can talk." Beth said pleadingly.
I looked at her, she had large dark circles under her eyes, and it had been almost a year since we'd had a decent conversation where I didn't have to lie to her. I suddenly realized how much I had missed my best friend. I nodded wearily; I needed to talk to someone.
"But what about Dean…you know he's going to …"
"He's finally fallen asleep," Beth said softly. "He's been awake for days, so it's not like he's going to wake up any time soon, I have some time. Besides, you need me too."
"You girls go on." Dad said in a low voice. "I'll bring you out some hot coffee."
"Can I have a hot chocolate instead?" I asked softly, trying to be a little bit nicer to the people that I still had left in my life.
Beth gave a small half smile. "That sounds delicious can I have one too please?" She said with a small smile at Dad.
"Coming right up." He said turning to go back into the house.
Beth grabbed my hand, and wrapped her arm around me as we made our way out of the garage and through the salvage yard to the gym. I looked numbly around the gym, memories flashing through my mind. This was where Beth had discovered our secret, and Dad. The boys, Beth and I grew up in this gym; we'd learned to fight alongside one another working as a unit, a team.
I'd beat out so many frustrations in this gym it only made sense this is where Beth and I would end up. It was where John and I always wound up. Beth walked to the sofa in the gym, curling up at one end while I turned on the lights. I made my way to the sofa, curling up on the other end.
We didn't speak at first, almost as if silently waiting for some unspoken thing to happen. When my dad came out with the hot chocolates, he looked at me, hesitating. He clearly had something more he wanted to say.
"Cole." He began as I looked up at him, it suddenly dawned on me how much older my father looked. The lines around his mouth were more prominent, set into grim frown lines; his eyes had horrible circles under them from too little sleep and too much alcohol. He glanced away from me and back out into the car yard, trailing off. "It's good to see you again, honey, I'm glad we're all under the same roof again." He said, his voice uncharacteristically soft.
I offered him a small smile that never reached my eyes. "Yeah Dad. Me too." I said. I jumped up as he turned to walk away, grabbing him in a tight embrace. "I missed you." I said softly, my voice barely came out a hoarse almost nonexistent whisper.
"I missed you too, baby girl." He said before pulling away and moving back towards the house.
I turned to Beth. "How are you holding up?" I asked her softly.
She fidgeted, brushing her hair back over her shoulders and took a sip of her hot chocolate thinking about her response instead of just telling me what she thought I wanted to hear. "I'm not exactly sure." She said softly. "He's always been there for us. Always. And suddenly he's not." She frowned, into her mug as though it would have the answers to bring him back.
I waited, remaining quiet. She needed someone to talk to as much as I did, and I had no one to hold myself together for. She had Sam and Dean, hell even my father. Beth had always been a strong personality; able to stay strong for those she loved, able to use her faith to guide her in times of need.
Beth lifted her gaze to mine her eyes brimming with tears. I moved towards her, wrapping her in my arms. "I don't know we're going to cope. I've always had a father, when my own dad died; John sort of stepped in and filled his shoes you know?" She said pulling away from my embrace to meet my gaze. "God I even called him Dad."
She wiped at her eyes, trying to stop the tears before they fell.
"I just, I need to be strong for Dean and Sam. Dean's always been the strong one, always there for the two of us, and he's holding it together now, but barely. I can't be weak. They need me. Whether they show it or not, they're complete wrecks right now." She said drawing in a shaky breathe.
"Honey, you take such good care of them all of the time. It is okay for you to allow them to care for you." I said adding, "Especially Dean, he loves you so much he wouldn't want to leave you hurting just so you could take care of them." I said gently, compassion and care echoing throughout my voice.
Beth wiped her eyes looking at me. "How are you doing, Cole?" She asked, changing the subject.
I hesitated, looking at her. "I'm fine." I said lying through my teeth, last thing she needed to do was take me under her wing to care for and worry about too. She had more than enough to worry about with those two boys.
"This is me you're talking to; I know you're not just fine. Whether you were broken up or not…"
"We weren't," I whispered, stopping her short. Her mouth dropped open and she stared at me.
"You… wait… you were still together?" Beth asked a stunned look on her face.
"Yes, I… I wanted to tell you Beth, but you know what he's like, John thought it was best if we kept it quiet, he was on the road so much…"
"Have you been with him this whole time?" Beth asked shortly, and I looked up and realized she was struggling with her emotions, sad and angry at the same time.
"No," I lied. "No, he wouldn't tell me what he was doing." Beth didn't need to deal with that too. It was way too much for any one person to handle.
"But you talked to him, you knew he was okay, and you kept telling me every time I called that you hadn't heard from him…" Beth ran her fingers through her hair, drawing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around her legs. "I can't believe you lied to me."
"I'm sorry baby girl, I am, but he would have been so angry with me…" I sighed, breaking off and shaking my head, tears in my eyes. "I'm sorry."
Beth sighed and leaned across the couch, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. "No, it's me who should be sorry," she said softly, rubbing my back and I leaned in to her comforting embrace. "I know what he was like… and … well he did the same thing to me too. Dean was so angry when he found out."
I sighed and nodded, brushing at the tears in my eyes.
"There's more," I said, pulling back and looking at her.
"What more could there possibly be?" Beth asked, a smile crossing her face.
I paused, not sure how to break it to her, not even sure if I wanted to. This was my little secret. How would the boys react? Did I even want them to know? I took a deep breath and stared at her, this was my best friend, I could tell her anything.
"What is it Cole?" Beth asked, a worried look starting to cross her face. "Because if you're thinking of doing something stupid…"
"I'm pregnant," I blurted out, and she froze, eyes widening.
"You're what?"
"I'm pregnant… just a few months… but…I'm gonna be a mom," I said, and with that jumbled up statement, a multitude of emotions washed over me. I was going to go through the biggest change in my life, and I was so excited, but I'd just lost the one thing holding me together through this change, and I was alone.
"Oh my God!" Beth exclaimed, grabbing my hands. "Really?"
I nodded, smiling at her and she grinned at me. "Damn, wait til I tell Dean…"
"You can't, not yet, I don't want anyone to know. Just for a while. I think it's best I just lie low, try to come to terms with John and … I just… I couldn't take anyone being upset with me." I said.
"Dean wouldn't be upset, he'd…"
"Beth, come on, this is Dean. He not exactly all gung-ho about John and me… he'll freak!" I cut in and she looked at me, biting back a reply. She knew as well as I did that I was right.
"Yeah okay, I'll give you that. But it wouldn't be you, it's Dad… he was angry at Dad because he'd denied us so long." Beth said and I nodded, knowing she was right. It still didn't change the fact that Dean didn't need to stress about another Winchester on its way.
"Just the same I want to keep it a secret for now, please," I said. Beth sighed and nodded.
"Yeah, okay."
She went on to discuss how the boys planned to take John out into the woods tomorrow and give him a proper hunter's funeral. I shuddered, not wanting to really think about it. She suggested I should put off collecting the truck and come, but I shook my head.
"We'll be back in time," I said.
Beth nodded contentedly, but I knew deep down I wouldn't be coming back tomorrow, I was going to delay. I didn't think I could get through the funeral. I was grateful that the boys were taking that on; I knew that would be the death of me.
"Will you stay here a while?" I asked and Beth nodded.
"Yeah, the Impala is a wreck, Dean is determined to fix her, he's talked about nothing else. I'm scared for him Cole; he just won't talk about Dad."
"Give him time," I said, thinking that I was much the same as Dean, and talking about John was the last thing I wanted to do right now. "You're his best friend Beth; he'll come to you when he's ready. Just be there for him, even if it's just to keep him company."
It felt good to have the company, even though I didn't want to talk about John. She was the first familiar face I'd seen in a long time, and might be for a while, I wasn't sure I could handle being back around our family just yet, things were so messed up, and they would probably get worse.
"You should get some sleep," I said, stifling a yawn for her benefit. "I think I'm gonna crash."
"We left your room free," Beth said, nodding. "Dean wanted to sleep in the spare room with Sam tonight." She didn't say it, but the message was loud and clear, they were worried about leaving Sam alone, and probably would be for a long time to come. It also confirmed what I suspected would be the case with Dean; that even though he used sex to get through everything else, this wasn't one of those instances, and that had to be rattling Beth a little too.
"He'll tell you when he's ready," I said quietly, wondering if she would get the reference.
Beth nodded, biting her lip and I saw the understanding in her eyes. "Yeah, I know. I'm just worried about him."
"That's why he loves you," I said with a smile, leaning forward and kissing her forehead.
I stood up and pulled on her hands, helping her to stand. "Don't tell them I'm here, I just want to be alone for a while," I said quietly as we walked back toward the house. "I'll sneak up to my room and stay there until the coast is clear."
"Yeah, okay. But you know you are always welcome to hang with us Cole, you're our sister, we love you."
"I know baby girl, I just can't talk to them right now, it's all too fresh."
"Okay," Beth said quietly, squeezing me softly around the waist and nodding.
"Go tell Dean you love him," I commanded her as we reached the front door. I glanced toward the back of the house. "I want to spend a little time with him…" I said, nodding toward where John's body was.
"Okay," she said with a nod, giving me a quick hug. "If you need anything…"
"I know where you are, yeah."
I watched as she disappeared up the stairs to the spare bedroom, and sighed, shaking my head. I felt a familiar comfort wash over me now that I was on my own again. Like a security blanket, the darkness wrapped around me and I moved into the shadows. I would sit with John for as long as I could stand, then I would wake Dad, and we'd leave for the truck. I knew I wasn't going to sleep tonight, I wasn't sure I'd ever sleep again.
Two Weeks Ago
I returned John's kiss eagerly. I have to say sometimes it worried me how fickle and easily distracted from my thoughts I was. Then again, this was John Winchester he could make me forget my own name with a look.
I groaned, as he broke the kiss trailing his lips down the column of my throat, nibbling his way to my collarbone. "Apparently I haven't been doing my job right." He said breathlessly between kisses. "If you honestly think I spend my time fantasizing about my deceased wife," He said pulling back from me and trailing off.
I whimpered from the loss of contact. "I never said that." I said attempting to dig myself out of this hole I'd found myself in. I attempted to kiss him again, only to be stopped by his hands firmly on my shoulders.
John smirked at me, his eyes darkening with lust; I seized my chance pressing my lips to his only to have him pull back again. I narrowed my eyes at him practically growling my frustration. "Nicole." He said. And I shivered at the sound of my name coming from is lips. I felt a familiar ache beginning deep within me radiating out, and heat curled low and wicked in my belly. I missed him. Three weeks had been too long. "You didn't have to say it. I've known you since you were little, I know how your crazy neurotic control freak brain works." He said with a chuckle.
That deep rumbling sent a surge of heat rushing through me, and I felt myself growing damp and uncomfortable. "Maybe now isn't the best time to talk about me as a teen." I said with a cheeky grin attempting to distract him with what I so desperately needed.
He grinned before lowering his lips to mine again, and circling my tongue with his own. "Mmm. Good point. I plan on showing you every single fantasy I've ever had about you."
My eyes widened and I felt my breathe catch at his admission of sin. It sent an electric thrill humming through my body. Definitely a new revelation for me, I'd had my suspicions but hearing it come from him so blatantly, added a new allure to our already established love for one another.
I turned my face into his neck, kissing at his pulse before giving a light nip. I felt his heart still under my tongue for a fraction of a second his heart skipped a beat. A small secret smile graced my lips, at the power and strength and will to have managed to hold a man who was a law unto himself and apparently, I'd been able to do it for a very long time.
John's hands roamed my body, cupping my face, before spanning the column of my throat. One hand slipped deftly under the material of my dress, cupping my breast in the palm of his hand. I stilled, shivering lightly as his callous roughened palm brushed gently along the sensitive skin of my breast. His talented fingers teased my already hard nipple into an even tighter peak as fire raced along wherever he touched.
John's other hand had moved to my dress bunching the material in his fist as he dragged the silken skirt along the tops of my legs. I moaned into his mouth at the light whisper of material across my skin.
John pulled back from me, meeting my gaze and I saw the desire, love, and fire I felt whenever we were together, reflected in his gaze. I dropped my hand to cover his guiding his hand up over my thigh, I continued removing my own dress when he paused to brush a thumb along one swollen nipple. His gaze darkened and he licked his lips before fastening them to my breast.
I moaned softly, my breathe coming in short pants as he lavished attention on my nipple. I dropped one hand away from him guiding myself onto the table and lifting myself up. He read my intentions because his larger hands caught me gently around the waist, and carefully set me down.
He pulled away again, and I wanted to cry. He was teasing me and I so desperately needed him. His gaze trailed possessively over my body, lingering on my stomach which was showing more now. "Mine." He said laying a hand over our son.
"Yours." I said softly breathlessly. I spread my legs wide allowing him to step between them, as his hands found my hips trailing along the sides of my waist to my hips, hooking his hands into a pair of black lace boy shorts that I knew drove him insane. That is if I was allowed to keep them on long enough.
He kissed his way down between the valley of my breasts and down to the slight swelling mound of my stomach. "You're beautiful." He said softly, feathering more kisses down my belly. "You're so damned beautiful you break my heart." He said nipping his way back to my mouth.
John's POV
I don't know when exactly my life had changed. I think it happened gradually over time; it was comprised of tiny little moments. Nicole had brought life to me when I had long ago given up on it. The job I'd worked since Mary had died had a very short life expectancy, and a very grim outlook. The adrenaline rush had gotten me through, but with Nicole, and now our child, I found myself wanting more. Now there was Nicole's bright bubbly laughter, quick fiery temper, her insane neurotic tendencies. There was a need so deep and intense that I'd never known before her.
Nicole's breathing had become ragged, causing her breasts to rise and fall rapidly presenting an irresistible temptation. I lowered my mouth greedily to her breasts, causing her to arch her back and press herself tighter into me, deeper into my mouth. She'd always been extremely sensitive but pregnancy made her even more fun as I suckled strongly. Listening to her soft cries, I felt her trembling beneath my hand.
One hand stroked softly along her stomach, a thumb mimicking the effect of my tongue along her nipple. She cried out at the dual sensation, bucking her hips into me, seeking friction that we both craved that was leaving us drowning in desire. Her teeth tugged at my earlobe while her hand strayed to the black button down dress shirt I was wearing, pulling me closer while at the same time she slipped open the buttons.
"Why am I always naked first?" She asked breathing hard; I managed to tear myself away from her belly button. That small indentation had become irresistible to me, now that she was pregnant.
"Because I'm selfish and I get what I want." I said sending her a heart-stopping smirk. She blinked, her lashes sweeping down to veil her eyes and renewed her efforts in getting rid of my shirt. I dropped my hands from her quickly, unsnapping the dark pair of jeans I was wearing and toeing my boots and socks off underneath the table. I pushed my jeans and boxers down stepping from them quickly before pushing her back onto the table.
She propped herself up on her arms waiting for me to blanket her body. I saw her look when instead of joining her; I pulled a chair over for myself seating myself between her legs. "What the hell?" She asked softly raising up to stare at me momentarily embarrassed.
"I'm starving. And you look good enough to eat." I said, giving her one long emotion laden look, as I closed a hand around each ankle and pulled her towards me along the table. I caught her swift intake of breathe along with the fresh wave of desire coating her body.
Nicole trembled but to her credit she remained absolutely still almost as if she was afraid to move. I pulled her legs up over my shoulders before lowering my face to her thigh. I gently rubbed myself against her taking in the absolute freedom and pleasure of having such a gift.
She trembled at the sensation of my beard rubbing softly over her sensitive skin, she would be sore for a while, I smiled at the thought. She was going to remember this every time she moved for days.
I inhaled smelling her arousal and my cock hardened reaching a state of sheer indescribable torture. This was going to be a long night, but I was absolutely determined to show her exactly who I spent many long, lonely nights fantasizing about. I lowered my head blowing a hot steady breathe on her clit, and was rewarded by her thighs trembling.
I licked softly along her clit, alternating between short licks and long sucks, I lowered one hand from her thigh to test her body's readiness, not that it was necessary, I honestly wasn't sure she'd ever been more prepared. Still, I entered one finger into her, feeling her muscles already trembling and clenching tightly around me. I groaned at the sensation. The vibrations along her clit sent even harder shockwaves through her body as she responded to the visceral sound.
She was writhing unable to stay still, I moved my other hand from her thigh, running along her smooth skin until I found her waist. Once I found her waist, I dug my fingers in painfully, forcing her body to still while I took my time tormenting her.
I circled her clit with my tongue, while my fingers worked her stretching her, making certain she was ready for me. When I was certain she could not have been more prepared, I moved, sliding her thighs from my shoulders, and crawled up along her body.
She looked up at me complete trust in her gaze. "Seriously John, here?" She asked humor lacing her words.
"Absolutely baby. Right here, right now." I said my voice was a demand my needs evident in the growl, I managed to get out in the form of words. I probably sounded like a caveman. I settled myself gently over her careful not to injure her, and I nearly groaned at the sensation of her slowly rounding belly pressing flush into my own forcing me to conform to her.
I dropped a hand between our bodies, my fingers splayed wide across our growing son. It was such a miracle to me to have created life with the one person I had been sure I would never be able to have, one of the few people who deserved a normal and happy life above any other.
I swallowed thickly around the sudden tears clogging my throat. If I could give her nothing else, I could give her one night a single night full of passion, hope, and promise. I lowered my lips to hers kissing her softly. I delighted in her small moan.
I moved then, pressing my hips into hers slowly at first, savoring those first delicious moments with her, the feeling of her gripping my flesh, wanting me in every way that I wanted her.
I waited that small heartbeat of time, "You…"
Cole cut me off quickly. "I'm fine baby." She said her voice coming out in a small breathy whisper of sound.
I looked down at her and kissed her, as I moved pushing through her body, swallowing her desperate moan. I moved again, setting a slow torturous pace. Cole moaned the sound sent streaks of fire through me to settle in my groin.
I lowered my hands to her hips, and pulled them up slightly, I needed the change, and I needed deeper. I sat back on my heels, dragging Cole's body with me. Her eyes were half closed and heavy, she wasn't paying attention to anything, only the desire, only the need, that throbbing heartbeat between us.
I changed rhythm with the change in position now able to go deeper. Cole continuously writhed, tossing her head from side to side doing anything she could to escape the relentlessly building pressure, pressure that then died down again, only to build back up, in a never-ending sea of pleasure, sheer indescribable pleasure that bordered so close to pain.
I felt the tension building at the base of my spine, the tightening, almost like a spring ready to snap. Cole cried out, her body pushed beyond its limits. She gripped me fiercely, relentlessly, forcing me to match her body's demands. I came as her body, was forced into a second orgasm.
On the Road to Nebraska
Present Day
I looked up when the wrecker swayed from side to side roughly and squinted into the bright light. I hadn't actually gotten any sleep I'd just rested my eyes and managed to doze off. I winced at the crick in my neck from curling up on the passenger seat and sat up stretching.
"Hey Dad." I said stretching even more to crack my back.
My dad muttered something and reached out a hand rubbing the back of my neck. I tried to relax my tired aching muscles and rolled my neck wincing when I got to the sore side.
"You okay?" He asked concerned. I fought not to roll my eyes he'd asked me that at least ten times since he'd woken up to find me outside in the garage staring at John's body this morning.
"I'm fine Dad." I said automatically. That was my new answer to give. I would smile and say I'm fine thanks for asking. It was getting redundant and very irritating.
Mostly he would drop it but for some reason he seemed determined to push his luck. "You sure, Cole?" He asked. I stared out of the window ignoring him. "Because we could talk about it." He said continuing as though I hadn't blatantly ignored him.
"I'm fine, Dad. There's nothing to talk about." I said extending my vocabulary a little.
"I just, I want you to know I'm here. You can talk to me about…." He trailed off uncertainly.
I glanced at him raising an eyebrow and almost daring him to say what I thought he wanted to say.
"You can talk to me about how you're feeling, I know…" He paused almost forcing himself to work up the courage to say it. "I know you and Winchester were close." He said finally. "It's bound to have you feeling all out of sorts, with what's happened to him."
I sighed heavily looking away exasperatedly. "God dad, his name is John." I snapped irritably. "He was your best friend for twenty years you'd think you could say his damned name." I said crossing my arms and legs simultaneously and looking back out of the window, all surefire signs that I was getting ticked.
I turned back to face him as he spoke. "I know his name, Nicole." He said starting to get surly.
I cut him off, not eager to get caught in the crossfire of one of his moods. "I mean Christ dad it's not like he's the father of your grandchild or anything." I snapped. I wasn't even sure what had possessed me to say it, all I knew was I'd said it and there was no way to take it back.
That thought flashed through my mind as my dad slammed on the brakes to the big rig he was driving. I instinctively threw my hand forward into the dash, to try to stop my forward momentum, as dad fought with the steering wheel to keep the truck from flipping, even as the wrecker attachment on the back jackknifed severely threatening to roll the cab.
My heart was pounding and my mouth was dry. I took a mental inventory to make sure that we were both okay. I glanced over at dad, he was white, and I mean graveyard, Ivory white. In an unspoken agreement we both made our way out of the cab to check my car was still securely attached on the wrecker, and to ensure that the connections to the cab of the big rig hadn't been damaged by dad's little impromptu test on the brakes.
My heart lurched uncomfortably as I recognized the squeal of brakes behind us and a Jeep roared past us, with the passenger and driver both making rude gestures out of the windows as they pulled up beside us, then the tires screamed again as they peeled off, leaving behind the smell of smoking rubber and the shouting of pissed off drunken, dumb asses.
I spread my arms wide, "Yeah bitches fuck off! What the hell's you're problem! Fucking pussies!" I shouted after them.
My dad had adopted a similar posture, and I caught him yelling something about: "Thank God no one had been severely injured, ya damned idjits!"
When we both stopped yelling at the idiots who were long gone by now, we turned to look at each other. I was feeling a bit apprehensive. I was pretty sure there were better ways to tell your dad that his best friend got you pregnant. Maybe I should get my keys and leave. Although that would entail getting my car unhooked and off of the wrecker.
I settled for looking uncomfortably at the ground while my dad studied me. "You're really pregnant?" He asked, stunned.
I nodded looking warily at him. "Yeah." I said.
"And it's really Winches…John's?" He asked taking a stab at being my dad again. He did look uncomfortable about it but I had to give the man some credit he did try.
I nodded again. All of a sudden, it hit me. I was going to be a mom. And I was going to have to do it all alone, damn that son of a bitch. Maybe my dad had been right when he'd said I deserved more than a man twice my age with a death wish.
My resolve crumbled. I blinked back tears, trying to go for the nonchalant, doesn't matter, bitch approach to my dad's question. But I was very rarely able to fool him. He came around the front of the truck, and wrapped an arm around me as a single torn sob escaped.
"What am I gonna do, Dad?" I asked softly, as I sniffed back the rest of my tears.
Dad just held me for a minute before answering. "I honestly don't know sweetie, but we can figure it out together, okay? You need me for anything, even if it's just to babysit call me. But I don't do diapers!" He said gruffly.
I gave a watery laugh as I swiped a hand across my nose. I was happy my dad and I were on speaking terms again but one things for sure I definitely would not be calling him to babysit. He'd drink his way through my beer and leave the TV on for the kid. No I would definitely need to find a babysitter.
He turned back to the truck opening the passenger side door for me. "You sure you're pregnant?" He asked.
"Yep." I said softly.
"You look too skinny." He answered. "You need to eat."
I rolled my eyes at his remark. "Dad I'm only 12 weeks along. I didn't explode outwards like someone who's had five kids."
"Hmm." He said as though he didn't believe me. "Well figures you wouldn't show up again until you were pregnant and destitute." He said.
My mouth dropped open in outrage until I turned to face him as he was getting into the driver's side. "I am not destitute, and I wouldn't have even showed up at all if Beth hadn't called!" I said my outrage turning into a mocking grin.
Two Weeks Ago
When I woke up it was still dark outside and we hadn't bothered to turn on any lights. Sometime during the night, it had started raining however, the thunder and lightning wasn't what woke me. I tried to keep my breathing even as I felt John above me pressing little kisses into my stomach.
I looked down barely able to see his profile, when a flash of lightning lit up the room. He was watching me, even as he kissed me. "You're awake." He made it a statement his voice pitched low and comforting as I relaxed. I moved my hands downwards, running my fingers through his hair.
"Mmm hmm. Barely." I said softly.
"What woke you?"
"You." I said simply.
A clap of thunder echoed through the room and I actually felt the walls shake.
"Power might go out." He said. I glanced up at him as he moved off me sitting up and looking down at me.
"There's candles in the bathroom under the sink." I said, rolling to face him and tucking an arm under my chin.
"There should be a lighter in there too." I added as John moved off the bed, and a nicely placed lightning strike sent dazzling brightness through the room, I was rewarded with a view of John's firm body.
He set down a few candles on his side of the bed and lit them before moving to my side of the bed, setting, and lighting the remaining candles.
He climbed back into bed with me, and opened his arms wide. I found myself burrowing into his chest, wishing we could stay this way forever.
A particularly hard clap of thunder echoed through the room and I jumped, almost immediately it was followed by a thin whip of lightning. There was a small flare of energy as the power went out, I glanced at the alarm on my side of the bed before turning back over and flopping down into John's arms. "And the power's out." I said unnecessarily.
He laughed. "Fantastic, more time away from reality for us."
I couldn't agree more. "Nicole." John said linking his fingers through mine, and holding them up for inspection, I didn't much care I was close to drifting back to sleep anyways.
"Huh?" I asked.
"Do you ever feel like hunting ruined your life?" He asked.
I frowned, with my eyes closed. "Sometimes I do." I answered honestly. "Then sometimes I don't." I sighed not making any sense. "Hunting isn't just a job, or a vendetta for that matter. We save people, we make a difference, there are a lot of things about hunting I hate, but there are also a lot of things about hunting I love. I love the adrenaline rush, the thrill, the knowledge that the things I've spent my life perfecting will save people's lives, I also love that no one knows what I do, not really. I hate that we ruin people's lives with the knowledge of the supernatural. I hate that we can't save everyone. So I have mixed feelings about it a lot of the time." I said sighing. "But I know that if Rufus hadn't saved my dad and me, we would never have met. I wouldn't have two brothers, and a sister, whom I love to pieces and would die for."
"No. I don't feel like hunting ruined my life." I said decidedly. "Do you?" I asked, almost afraid of the answer but I knew that since he brought it up he had something he needed to say.
"I feel almost the same way you do about it." He said. "Same reasons and everything. I guess I'm just tired. Once I bag this demon, I want out." He said. "Or as out as I think I could get. I want a life. I want to be with you and our son, I want to go to bed with you, wake up next to you, Hell, go hunting with you, just on a slower pace on that allows us to have a life together." He said softly, still toying with my fingers. I opened my eyes looking up at him.
I smiled as he met my gaze, feeling content in that moment. I glanced down as a weird spark caught my eye, a mere reflection of the candle light. I stared at our entwined hands for a moment trying to make sense of where the hell that strange spark had come from.
My mouth dropped open. Holy shit! There was a ring on my finger, one I was sure I hadn't been wearing when I went to sleep. I turned my gaze to John, to see a sure smile on his face.
"Nicole Singer, will you marry me?" He asked softly, his fingers still firmly locked with mine.
I blanked, completely. What did he say?
Present Day
I was aware of a few things simultaneously. One was how freaking hot I was. Seriously, someone needed to turn down the heat. Another was the fact that I was unable to move.
I glanced up over my head to discover my hands tied down. I risked a glance at my feet to find the same.
A man walked towards me, his eyes were pitch-black. He was a demon. "I'm Alastair." He said softly his voice sounded light and airy almost musical at first, then it took on a mocking and more nasal note. "We're gonna have so much fun together." He said coming straight to me and looking me in the eyes.
"Do you recognize this contraption you're in?" He asked.
I raised my head defiantly. "Go back to Hell." I snarled.
He laughed the sound grating on my nerves. "Don't you recognize it?" He asked gesturing around. "We're already there."
I kept my expression neutral, not showing the jolt of fear I was experiencing. How did I get here? What was going on?
I looked again to my hands and ankles, both were bound to a separate post. I was on a rack.
"Now given that you've just realized where you are, I'll ask again. Do you know what contraption you're currently on?" He said his voice growing more excited by the minute.
My heart lurched but I was determined to show no outward signs of fear to this demon. I would find out how to get out of this. "I'm on a rack." I answered.
He smiled, pleased that I'd decided to play along in my own torture. I would do what I could to keep him talking. To stall him and keep him from ripping off my limbs that I would need to care for a baby.
He opened his mouth again and that unusual voice filtered out. It was almost heavenly to hear, and at the same time, the sound was displeasing to the ear. "You're absolutely right." He said walking around to stand behind me. "The purpose of the rack is to, draw, and quarter, to separate limbs from their owners. It lost popularity when most of the victims died before any useful information could be obtained."
I frowned, "That's rather unfortunate." I said.
"Indeed it is." Alastair answered. "Fortunately for us, you're already dead in Hell, so we can skip over a lot of the red tape humans have to go through." He said brightly. The eagerness in his voice caused a pit to form in my stomach.
I forced a feral grin to appear on my face, "Well, I'm sure we're all very grateful for that."
I fought not to draw away as Alastair leaned in close to me, a hand on my shoulder. "There is a certain bloodthirsty nature that one has to have to go along with torture." He said softening his voice.
I was beginning to like it better when his voice was lower, he seemed less likely to inflict damage the calmer he appeared to be, then again he was a demon, they were disgusting perverted beings, what the hell did I know?
"There are certain sounds that act like music to one's ears." He said circling me again. He was giving off the impression of a hungry vulture circling a scavenged piece of road kill, only sadly, I wasn't dead. "The cracking of bones, that feeling you feel as you watch flesh separating from bone, that sensation there is almost orgasmic."
I licked my lips. Insanity, we're talking 'The Shining' level insanity, that's what was radiating off this demonic nutjob. "Sorry, but that's where you've lost me, pain doesn't exactly get me off." I said lightly.
He moved in front of me turning to face me. "Well we'll just have to see what we can do about that." He said smoothly, snapping his fingers as the chains around me began to tighten, pulling my limbs in four separate directions.
I startled awake, pitching forward into my seat. Gasping, I ran a hand through my hair. I wiped a hand across my forehead, wiping at the sweat, causing my hair to curl even worse.
My dad glanced over at me concerned. "It was just a dream Cole. You just had a bad dream." He said soothingly.
"It… It felt so real." I said softly, that dream left me disturbed with a bad taste in my mouth, something was wrong. Somewhere someone was suffering horribly.
Author's Notes: Song for this Chapter is Summertime Sadness by Lana Del Rey.
I am totally sorry about the wait, however can you really blame me for procrastinating on this one. John Winchester is dead! If anyone has any thoughts on things they might like to see happen let me know. For now I'm going to get started on the next chapter. Love you guys!
Thank you Belladonna78 for your awesome and continued support. I would never have made it this far without such an awesome friend and beta reader!
As always please Read and Review!