Aoi Asahina - Super High School Level Record #4:
This is messed up... so damn messed up. I can't concentrate any more, how the hell can everyone just keep going like this? I don't know what to do...
I just want to leave here.
I'm sorry. I need to pull it together. Sakura... wouldn't want me to keep feeling sorry for myself, right? She tried to save us all... she wanted us to stop fighting, and I'm not doing anything to help that. Well, no more. I have to step up and do something. I don't know what yet, but I'm sure I'll think of something! If Naegi and Kirigiri can keep fighting even after all this horror, then so can I! I don't want to be a burden. I want to do something useful, to help them out and get us all out of here. Except, what I fall into despair again? I nearly killed us all, just so they wouldn't think badly of Sakura. I was selfish...
What do I think of them all? They're a mixed bag. Hagakure? Not really sure what to say about him. He seems nice, but he's a bit weird. Spacey. As for Naegi... no. Makoto. He's just amazing. I don't know what I can say about him, maybe if all this hadn't happened, if things had turned out differently, then... I don't know. There's no use thinking about what ifs and things that could have been. We're stuck here, and we need to escape. Besides, he spends so much time with Kirigiri now. I'm a little bit jealous, if I have to be honest. But they make a good team. I'm happy for them.
It's strange. Before any of this, I wouldn't have dreamed of being friends with a guy like him. Not because we wouldn't get on, just, you know. Different tastes, different interests. Different people. I think if anything good has come of this whole mess, it's how some of us have bonded so well. I say some of us because there's still no way I could be friends with the likes of Togami or Fukawa. They both repulse me, in different ways. I can't stand him, everything he says and does, it just makes me feel sick. And the way he spoke about Sakura! She did everything she could, up to ending her own life, to try and save us, and all he can think about is himself! Same goes for Fukawa. At least she wasn't too bad at first. Then the things she said as well... not to mention that psycho that keeps threatening us. If it was up to me I'd lock them both away where they can't hurt us, but... I guess I'm not that sort of person really. I can be fierce, I know I can be. If I need to be. Maybe I'm just too nice. People say it's a fault of mine. Maybe... maybe I need to be tougher. I need to stand up and fight like the others.
It's not right. This place, it's getting to me. I don't want anyone else to die. I nearly made a big mistake, and it's affecting my judgement. I need to take a step back and just calm down. Look at things differently. I get too emotional about these things. Maybe that's why Kirigiri is so good at what she does. She steps back and looks at things rationally. She doesn't let her emotion get the better of her. But do I want to be that sort of person, change who I am?
I have to admit. It's a tough one.