Say you have a little faith in me
Just close your eyes and let me lead
Follow me home
Need to have a little trust in me
Just close your eyes and let me lead
Follow me home
To where the lonely ones roam
Won't you come out
I've been waiting for you
Holding my breath
Til my body turned blue
We've got everything to lose
Yeah I'm waiting on you
Sun's come up
And there's no one else around
Meet me in the shadows
Won't you tell me what you found
You've got everything to lose
Yeah I'm waiting on you
Where the Lonely Ones Roam
Cole's POV
Sioux Falls, SD
Bobby's House
I'd driven the twenty hour drive from New York to South Dakota in hardly any time at all. I'd immediately put getting John out of Hell on hold, he would be furious with me if I was more focused on that while his son lay dying. I'd spent the drive crying my eyes out and pounding my fists into the steering wheel.
Walking into the house, I immediately went to my dad. As far as he was concerned Sam and Dean were the sons he'd never had, and Beth was a second daughter for him. I wrinkled my nose up as the strong scent of alcohol reached me. He'd probably been drinking before he'd even made it home.
I closed my eyes, steeling myself for the task ahead. Whatever had happened to Sam, it had been bad, I could tell by the way my dad was acting. He was sitting on the couch sullenly drowning himself in a bottle of whiskey. "Dad." I said softly, letting him know I was here.
He didn't so much as bat an eyelash, just lifted the bottle to his lips and took another healthy swig. "Dad, you should take a shower." I said keeping my voice low. The scent of alcohol was overwhelming. "When you called me, you said there was something serious going on. Apocalyptical, and that you needed some help." I crouched down eye level to him. "If you're going to be my backup, I could use you sober." I reached out, snatching the bottle from his grasp.
"Now." I said briskly, all business. "We're gonna get up and go take a shower." I said.
Dad groaned, shoving at me roughly. "No. I don't want to!" He snarled.
I rolled my eyes, grabbing him under the arm. "Too damn bad." I said snarkily.
I forced him to stand, hauling him up the stairs and into the master bedroom. "Go take a damn shower." I said shoving him in the direction of the bathroom, while I went to his closet grabbing some clothes, tossing them onto the bed.
I made my way back downstairs, cleaning up the empty bottles of liquor all over the place. I kept an ear out for the upstairs bathroom, listening for the water shutting off and dad getting out.
A short time later, Dad showed up in the kitchen looking and smelling one hundred percent better. I pulled some chicken from the freezer, cooking up some food. I was starving, I hadn't eaten anything since I'd left Jefferson's, almost two days ago.
I cooked double what I normally would, knowing we would need our strength.
Hearing a knock at the door, I turned going through the library where dad was reading to answer the door. I opened it, unsure who to expect; Dad didn't have a lot of callers and the Jehovah's Witnesses had been scared off at least a decade ago, thanks to a nicely drawn devil's trap and a gun happy father.
Shocked I found myself staring at Dean, who met me with his usual smart-ass comment. "Hey shortass," he quipped.
Unable to help myself I raised an eyebrow and opened my mouth to respond. My eyes flickered over Dean's shoulder and all thoughts of engaging him disappeared as I met Sam's gaze. Well he certainly didn't look dead.
"Hey Cole." Beth said pushing her way into the hall.
"Hey Cole." Sam said, following her in.
I found my voice again. "Sam, it's good to see you… up and around." I said, turning a glare onto Dean. What the hell was going on?
Sam shrugged. "Yeah, well..." He said trailing off as he turned to look at dad over my shoulder. I glanced back in time to see the disbelieving look on my dad's face. "Thanks for patching me up."
Dad looked dumbfounded. "Don't mention it." He said frowning at Dean. I barely hid the oh shit expression that wanted to cross my face. Poor Dean, he was in for it once they were alone.
Beth was pulling on my sleeve, giving me an urgent look. "Cole, I need to talk… Now." She said anxiously pulling me through the living room heading for the stairs.
Once we'd made it into the spare bedroom, Beth turned to me, her anxiety clearly written on her face.
"What's wrong honey? I asked, worried.
Beth turned to me tears swimming in her dark eyes. I had a nagging feeling I knew where this was going, but I was desperately hoping I was wrong. "It's Dean." She said. Her voice trembled.
My heart sank. "He's going to Hell." I froze. Images of the tortures John had been through flashed through my mind. Then a sick thought occurred to me, what if I wasn't able to get John out? Would they run into each other? I wanted to vomit.
"It's so incredibly stupid. If only Dean hadn't interfered everything would be fine." Beth raked a hand through her hair in agitation.
"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked listening to the inflection behind Beth's words. When she looked like she might not answer me, or like she might try and lie, I said sharply, "Beth!"
"I made a deal!" She blurted out.
An eyebrow rose… "You made a deal? So what are you guys going to share a cell in Hell?" I asked.
Beth looked at me confused and shook her head. "What? No, of course not." She said dismissively. "Dean hijacked my deal, I would have gotten five years. And now Dean is going to Hell at the end of the year."
I rolled my eyes. "Great." I said sarcastically. "You know what, when he goes, remind him to say hi to John for me!" I snapped.
Beth frowned but bit her lip to keep from saying anything.
I sighed, rolling my eyes, but refusing to shut Beth out not when she needed someone. "I'm sorry." I said lamely. "The lack of sleep is getting to me, I know you must be beating yourself up enough as it is."
Beth nodded.
I pinched the bridge of my nose, feeling a headache coming on. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. "Beth. I promise you honey. Dean is not going to Hell." I said. "We will find a way to fix this."
I wasn't sure how but I knew I couldn't let Beth go through what I had gone through not because of them.
Beth gave me a pained look, she didn't believe me. I offered what I hoped was a reassuring smile. She didn't need to know what I'd been going through with John. With another smile, I tried again, "It's going to work out." I said softly, "We'll find a way to make this go away."
A single tear slid down Beth's face, and a small sob escaped. "I'm not sure how we can fix this," she said, "if we try any way of getting out of the deal, Dean goes to Hell immediately." She finished, stifling a second sob.
My heart sank, and a feeling of dread came over me. Dammit. Just dammit!
"I'm gonna go find Dean." Beth said finally after a long pause. I didn't know how to comfort her or what to say. At this point I was shell shocked and a little furious. I was in total automatic mode. Numb and fight were my only two options right now, and we had something big happening with demons, then I had to focus on getting John out of Hell.
"That's good." I answered her tiredly, "You should spend as much time with him as possible."
Beth left the room, and I waited a few moments before following her. I rubbed my eyes, then scrubbed my hand down my face.
When I opened my eyes, I took a step and practically ran into Karen.
My heart skipped a beat. I wasn't necessarily scared, more like a tiny bit apprehensive, she'd single handedly been responsible for John's torture and the last time we'd met, she wiped the floor with me. I wasn't exactly itching to go another round.
Didn't mean I was going to just let her pop in and out on me as needed though. Glaring, I clenched my hands into fists. "What the Hell do you want?" I snarled. My fury was becoming a hot molten lava sending heat spiraling through my body. Making me see red. I hadn't been able to reach John for awhile now. Hopefully he hadn't broken.
"I-" Karen was cut off as I threw a left hook at her, not interested in what she had to say. She ducked it, with an almost bored look on her face. Unimpressed she rolled her eyes at me trying again.
I stepped forward throwing a sharp jab to her throat. She narrowly escaped the full blow of that punch, Which effectively cut off whatever she was trying to say. "I…" She coughed, the sound coming out more like a frustrated growl.
Her face darkened, as she stepped into me, deflecting my next move with an almost lazy if irritated air. When I kicked out at her, hoping to take her down, she retaliated with a roundhouse kick of her own. She caught me in the side of my knee and I crumpled.
"You're really going to try this again?" She asked incredulously. "They must have really stamped out your sense of self-preservation," She smirked at me, as she landed a kick to my abdomen, then reached down catching me by my hair. "And I know you had that, it came from me."
I tried to ease her pulling sensation on my head by moving with her, my hand automatically went above hers trying to stop the painful tugging, Dammit that hurts! I thought furiously.
I relaxed moving with her and focusing my attention on her. She relaxed her hold almost immediately, just enough to ease the pain. "Good girl." She purred smirking at me.
"What do you want?" I bit out between clenched teeth.
"I'm actually here to offer my help." She said lightly, like we were exchanging pleasantries, or sarcastic banter.
"You wanna help me?" I snapped "You can start by letting go of my damn hair!"
She rolled her eyes. "Not until you quit trying to hit me. I really am only here to help you." She said her voice softening.
Narrowing my eyes at her, I nodded. When she let go of my hair I was expecting her to force me away from her, so she could have some fighting room when I inevitably came at her again. She didn't her grip softening in my hair and slowly letting me go.
Waiting a heartbeat or two, I rubbed the back of my head, trying not to look like the sulky child who had been chastised for breaking the rules. Pretty sure I failed at that.
"You ready to listen to what I have to say?" She asked.
I rolled my eyes, not looking at her but I nodded anyway.
Karen huffed out a sigh, "Good." She said. "I have a proposition for you." She continued.
Swinging my head around I looked at her. "What kind of proposition could you possibly have for me?" I asked.
"Something you want desperately." She said softly.
I knew what I wanted, I wanted John out of Hell, but I knew that wasn't going to happen, not by her hand at least. She might dangle the bait in front of both of us just to watch us beg like dogs then snatch our treat away. She would have a field day with this. I kept my mouth shut waiting for her to spell out whatever scraps she wanted to bestow upon me.
"I'm offering you a sure proof way to get John out of Hell." She said. I scoffed. There it was silver platter and all, no bargaining, no pleading, nothing, the demon just wanted to be nice.
I rolled my eyes, refusing to show how hurt I was by the fact that I was willing to turn down getting John out of Hell, all because I couldn't… No, I wouldn't bring myself to beg her for her help. I didn't need it. I already had my way into the Pit. "And all it's going to cost is my soul?" I said snidely. "No thanks I'll pass."
Karen's face became dark and her eyes became flat, and dead. "I am not some pansy ass crossroads demon." She said coldly.
Her tone gave me pause. I'd never heard her so furious. I felt goosebumps breaking out all over my arms.
"I don't offer to do things lightly and I do expect people to pay up. However, you're my daughter and I love you, I want to see you happy." I wanted to scoff at her again, but her previous tone had me questioning just how much was she capable of?
"What exactly are you offering?" I asked, carefully keeping my voice neutral, and my expression blank.
"I am offering to go into Hell and free John. I'll get him out of Hell, he won't be tortured anymore. You'll get to say goodbye. Once he's topside he will have to decide to stay and become a ghost, an echo of the man he used to be. Or he can go to heaven and be with his wife." She said her voice was low, comforting, I felt like I was having a conversation with my mother. Instead of a demon.
The mention of Mary caused a pang in my heart. I wanted John to be free from Hell. But I wanted John. I knew I needed to get used to the idea that he wasn't going to stay here with me, He was going to have to move on. Didn't mean it didn't hurt.
"And what would I be doing while I'm relying on you to free John?" I asked.
"You'll be topside making sure nothing else comes from the gate we are going to open. We don't need any surprises escaping from Hell." She said matter of factly.
"How exactly are we going to do this?" I asked her.
She smirked, cocking an eyebrow at me. "I know you've found a key. You and the Brit have been poking your noses into places they don't belong."
I cocked an eyebrow myself, "I have no idea what you're talking about." I said innocently. That tone had always worked with my dad, and even with John most of the time, though it was more likely he never called bullshit. I wasn't sure it would work with Karen.
She rolled her eyes. "Right…" Continuing on her train of thought she explained. " This key, for lack of a better term, is a dark object cursed by a witch some centuries ago. It creates a lock and key mechanism into Hell allowing a few select doorways to open."
I fought not to check my pockets for the object she was speaking of.
"The three of us will all be connected by the mental connection we've formed. If for some reason you don't trust me, you can take over, you and John can go on without me, or I can take a backseat, I don't mind." She said. She actually didn't sound like she would mind.
I turned away from her, looking out into the junkyard from the window. I saw Bobby and Dean walking with Ellen into the house, she must've just gotten here. They would be looking for me soon.
I took a deep breath positive I would live to regret this. I reached into my back pocket grabbing the mystical dark object. It felt like a harmless cold lump of old metal. I turned facing my mother. "Okay." I said softly. "We'll get John out of Hell." I handed her my only way into Hell, I'd need to find a new way to get to Dean.
Almost instantly, I felt John, a warm slow spread of heat through my mind. Narrowing my eyes I glared at Karen.
"What?" She questioned using the same innocent expression and tone I had earlier. "It wasn't me." She stated. I huffed out a sigh, now I knew where I'd gotten the tone from. "Call me when you're ready to get him out." She said. "I've got to get this thing activated." And in the blink of an eye she was gone.
Cole's POV
Bobby's Kitchen
Sioux Falls, SD
I made my way downstairs. Finding everyone in the kitchen, I caught the tail end of the sentence, "How'd you get out?" It came from Dean.
Get out, I wondered, get out from where? I took a seat at the table, next to Dean.
Dad poured Ellen a shot of whiskey and slid it across the table to her. She took it gratefully, "I wasn't supposed to. I was supposed to be in there with everyone else." She scoffed and continued bitterly. "But we ran out of pretzels, of all things. It was just dumb luck." She finished, knocking back the shot.
Dad poured her another shot. Ellen took it and downed that one too, before continuing. "Anyway, that's when Ash called. Panic in his voice. He told me to look in the safe. Then the call cut out. By the time I got back, the flames were sky high. And everybody was dead. I couldn't have been gone more than fifteen minutes." Ellen's eyes were dazed, confused, definitely the look of someone in shock.
"Sorry, Ellen." I said softly offering the only amount of condolence I could at a time like this.
Ellen looked up at me, tears shimmering in her eyes. "A lot of good people died in there. And I got to live. Lucky me." I sighed, blowing out a breath. I shifted my gaze, looking to Dean. He was gazing at the tabletop, contemplating what had happened. Reaching under the table, I grasped his hand, tightly, only for a moment, hoping to provide some form of small comfort.
"Ellen you mentioned a safe?" Dad asked.
Dean looked up at him, when Ellen nodded, "A hidden safe we keep in the basement."
"Did the demons get what was in it?" Beth asked moving to sit down at the table on Dean's other side.
"No." Ellen said pulling something from her jacket pocket. She unfolded a map and set it down on the table in front of us. The map had several X's marked on it.
"Wyoming." Dean said as he pointed to the state. My eyes widened and my heart leapt. It couldn't possibly….. Could it? There was no way. This had to do with something else. It was too big a coincidence.
Almost an hour later, we were all sprawled between the kitchen and the library, searching for anything we could regarding Wyoming. Most of us were coming up with nothing.
Dad crossed from the library to the kitchen setting a book down in front of Dean. "I don't believe it." He said.
"What? You got something?" Asked Sam, moving up so he could see over dad's shoulder.
"A lot more than that," Dad said. "Each one of these X's. " He said pointing to each one on the map. "Is an abandoned frontier church - all mid-nineteenth century. And all of them built by Samuel Colt."
"Samuel Colt - the demon-killing, gun making Samuel Colt?" Beth asked frowning.
"Yep." Dad said answering her. "And there's more. He built private railway lines connecting church to church." Dad picked up a black pen as he spoke so we could better see the layout. "That just so happen to lay out like this." He said. We were all staring at a massive pentagram.
"Tell me that's not what I think it is?" Dean said.
"It's a Devil's trap." Beth said. "A hundred square mile Devil's Trap."
I smirked, loving some of these hunters and their genius. "That is freaking brilliant! Iron lines, demons can't cross." I said triumphantly.
"I've never heard of anything that massive." Ellen said.
"No one has." Dad assured her.
"And after all of these years none of the lines are broken? I mean it still works?" Dean asked.
"Definitely." Sam answered him.
"How can you be sure?" Dean said frowning at Sam.
"All those omens Bobby found. I mean the demons they must be circling it and they can't get in." Sam said.
"Yeah well they're trying." Dad said sounding like he'd rather suck on a lemon.
It made sense to me. But what was in the center? "Why? What's inside?" I asked shifting my weight onto the table.
"That's what I've been looking for," Dean said leaning back in his chair. "And, uh, there's nothing except an old cowboy cemetery right in the middle."
"Well what's so important about a cemetery? Or… What's Colt trying to protect?" Sam asked looking around at us all.
"Well, unless…" Dean said trailing off. Beth looked at him nodding. At this point I was trying desperately to keep up. I wished they would speak in full sentences.
"What if Colt wasn't trying to keep the demons out?" Dean asked.
"What if he was trying to keep something in." Beth finished.
Fantastic. I thought bitterly.
"Well that's a comforting thought." Ellen said with a smirk.
I managed not to laugh at the impending sense of doom we were all feeling. "Yeah, you think?" I said settling for a look of concern.
"Could they do it Bobby?" Sam asked. "Could they get inside?"
"This thing's so powerful, you'd need an A-bomb to destroy it. No way a full blooded demon gets across." Dad said.
Karen. The thought came to me. We were already headed there. I knew it. This was it my way in. She could get across, she could go where the other demons couldn't, she knew how to get to John.
This was what I had been dreaming about for months. This was my way to free John, and I'd still have the Serratura to free Dean when the time came. I fought to keep my face neutral.
Sam looked up at us all, panic evident on his face. "No." He said. "But I know who could." He looked apprehensive. One thing about all of us being trained by two experienced hunters we didn't necessarily panic easy. Shit had to be serious. This was serious. My heart sank as it occurred to me. The Demon… Yellow eyes. This was his end game. He was going to release hell on earth.
I swallowed hard, a sinking pit in the middle of my stomach. We had to stop Yellow eyes, that much I knew for certain but I also felt a thrill, an electric surge rush through me. John was going to walk free from Hell before this battle was over. I would see to it.
I needed to warn Karen. She had to be ready. I would have to trust her, even though it went against every single bone in my body…. John, baby be ready. You'll be free by the end of this battle. I said. Desperate to let him know. He was eerily silent, I could barely feel him, his warm slow touch, was so still, I was scared to examine it to closely. I needed him to get out of Hell in one piece.
"Jake." Beth said.
Dean nodded, and I felt John stirring in my mind. The first indication I'd had that he was still John. He was weak, I could feel his light trembling, flickering, not even a lit match against the darkness threatening to consume his soul.
He brushed the walls of my mind, but where before he was seeking a way to survive, now I got the impression of all consuming weakness, powerlessness, he was crawling his way through my mind trying desperately to decipher who he was.
I stirred then fury pounding through my veins and making my blood boil. I barely heard Dean's next statement. "We have to go and we have to go now."
I couldn't agree more. But first…. I got up heading for the door.
"Where do you think you're going?" Dean asked, his tone incredulous.
"I have to pee is that alright with you?" I asked. "I did just have a baby." I muttered under my breath.
I didn't wait for a response. I rushed to the nearest bathroom and once inside, I called out to Karen. Bitch had better make good on her promise or I would have a vendetta of my own.
John's POV
Often, I could hear whichever demon was coming for me before they came. More, I could sense them. I could sense the depravity, the rotten soul, feel the air thicken. The heat became more intense, the humidity increased until you felt like you were suffocating. You could feel the thick oily sludge of their decayed mind.
I crouched down in the corner of my cell, tense, ready. I couldn't take any more. I was desperate to surrender. I would become what they wanted me to. I felt a newfound appreciation for every torment I'd been put through.
Every torture Alistair, and Kayen had inflicted upon me, I'd come up with a dozen others to put them through. My ability to dream hadn't been diminished, although in the beginning, I'd dreamt of my boys, of Beth, our small makeshift family in the many hotel rooms and then in Bobby's rundown musty house.
Slowly the dreams had become darker, more sinister. I dreamt of hunting and many, many weapons. At first they'd been cleaned meticulously, then there would be splashes of blood. Now there was so much blood I felt as though I was bathing in the stuff. I was too far gone.
I couldn't force them to kill me I was already dead. No one was coming to rescue me. I would have to find a way to rescue myself. The only way out I could see was to break, to agree to torture souls. To become one of them.
The thought made me sick. I'd fought them as long as I could though. And I think I'd done a pretty damn good job. Nicole would never make it down here. She couldn't charge Hell with a bucket of holy water and drag me from it's depths. No one could, not her, not even if she enlisted the help of our entire family.
I felt the excitement, the glee. I heard the jovial humming. I raised my head slowly from where it rested on my arms. Alistair bound into my cell in a painfully good mood this morning.
I stared apprehensively, unsure. Maybe I could hold out a tiny bit longer. But he hadn't come to torture me in a very long time. He preferred to leave me in the very capable hands of Cole's mother.
Where the fuck was she? That thought made my heart pound and I tasted a coppery metallic tang in my mouth. Where was she?
"It's happened, John. It's finally happened." He said in his nasal, sickly sweet voice.
I stared at him, confused. "I'm having a little trouble keeping up, Alistair." I admitted, my voice low, gravelly. At this point I sounded more like an animal growling than I did a man. I scoffed at the thought. A man. If one could even call me that anymore.
Alistair smirked, a triumphant gleam in his eyes. "We have another." He said softly. "You may have been too damn stubborn to break, but we have another self righteous, insignificant prick on the way."
My heart sank, but at least beginning this mess wouldn't be on me.
A cruel, malicious look came across in his eyes. "And you'll never guess who it is." He said softly.
Something in his voice made my heart sink. An eyebrow rose as he waited for me to answer. When I refused, he stepped in closer to me, his voice barely above a whisper. "It will be your eldest son. He's going to be responsible for bringing about hell on Earth." He said.
I swallowed back the bile that boiled up the back of my throat. Not Dean. Not my boy. Surely he was lying. "You are lying." I said.
He snorted. "I almost wish I was. But I still have plenty of time to get you to break, if you want to spare Dean. We have another hundred and twenty years,"
I blinked trying not to show my desperation. Every time I was so certain I was ready to give up my soul, something would happen that would change the tide, and keep me from going through with it. I knew I wasn't ready just yet to quit fighting. I would continue fighting for my children, until I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt I could fight no more.I would force Alistair to continue torturing me or kill me. I couldn't be around to witness my son being tortured.
Alistair stepped in close and snapped his fingers, chains erupted from the rocky out croppings of the walls, to encircle my feet and bind my hands together. I went down hard, smashing my face into the rock beneath me, blood poured from a gash opened up beneath my eye,
I groaned, and when Alistair bent down to pull me to my feet, I reacted, smashing the crown of my head forward, I heard the sickening crunch of bone breaking, and I fought down a burst of triumph.
Alistair roared in rage and I looked up in time to see blood pouring from his nose. His expression was a mask of pure fury.
He snarled, doubling up his fist and viciously beating me. I was unable to defend myself, I tried to remain as soft and pliant as possible, waiting for his beating to stop, and it would. Alistair fancied his knives more than anything.
He stopped, stomping away. When he returned his face was free of blood. He snapped his fingers and I was suddenly strapped down to a table unable to move. Alistair stood over me, the hatred still there. In his hand he held a razor sharp blade, glancing down, I struggled against my bonds, I was still in the rags I'd been in when I died.
I tried to breathe my way through the terror. I bit down on the inside of my cheek refusing to scream, I'd never give him the satisfaction. I groaned, panting my way through the pain as Alistair sliced into the skin over my sternum.
"The bitch you were doing was a nurse," He commented conversationally. I bit down harder on my lip, refusing to answer him. "You're about to experience getting a heart transplant." He said gleefully.
My heart accelerated, the adrenaline was pounding through my veins. I struggled even harder against my bonds. It was no use, I wasn't going anywhere.
"Ah, rib cutters. This should be interesting." He said smiling down at me. I heard the crunch of my first rib being cut even over my own raw animalistic scream of agony.
He reached over and grabbed the rib spreader, creating a big enough hole to fit his hands into. And I watched as he pulled my heart from my chest, still leaving the organ attached to the body, my body.
He grinned maliciously at me. And I dropped his gaze, focusing on his hands holding my still furiously beating heart. One had lengthened, became the clawed, dirty blood stained form of Alistair's demonic self. I watched, apprehensively, careful not to struggle now, I knew it was all illusion and technically I was still dead, but this was too fucking real.
I watched as he plunged four stiletto sharp claws onto the muscle and twisted, shredding the organ and doing maximum damage. I screamed in agony, my voice hitting a whole new note of terror and pain.
"What in Lucifer's name is going on in here?" A new voice questioned. I whimpered, forcing myself to pay attention to the demon holding what was left of my heart in his hands.
He stopped, and the only sound was my ragged breathing, that and my heart still trying desperately to pump, spurting blood through my shredded heart.
Alistair looked up at the demon who questioned him, and I had to stop myself from breathing a sigh of relief at the sight of Kayen. I would take her brand of torture over his any day.
"Get away from him!" She snarled viciously. "That whimpering little bitch is mine." She said smiling sadistically.
I swallowed thickly, anxiety choking me. I wanted her over him. I'd have to endure it now.
Looking down at me, Kayen waved a hand, and I watched as the blood disappeared. The pain was gone. My heart beat furiously against my ribs. I saw her lean towards me, running her tongue along my jaw, I shuddered at the sensation.
She pressed her mouth to my ear, "We've found a way to get you out." She said softly. "You're leaving this place." She waved an impatient hand at the bindings holding me down.
I frowned, my brow furrowed. It was too much. Way too much information had been piled upon me for one session. Being in Hell seriously screwed with my head. I didn't know what was going on. I barely remembered who I was.
I turned forcing my arm to support my weight. It had been forever since I really used any of my muscles. I was weak. Why was I doing this? What was going on again?
I didn't understand. I could barely bring myself to focus. Then I felt the heat. The gathering energy was white hot fueled by a fury, I'd never felt before. Cole was filling my mind, driving from it every bit of weakness, every sensation of hopelessness.
Her strength and power flowed into me, making my mind sharp, reflexes quick. I felt like me again. My hatred returned tenfold, or perhaps it was her hatred for my demonic captors.
Either way, I looked down at her mother who was about the same height as Nicole, I couldn't keep my face from betraying my emotions. I was murderous. "Give me the damn knife." I said testily.
"No. I'm not about to hand you the only weapon that can kill me." She said firmly. "I promised her I would get you out and I will, but we're doing it my way," She assured.
I followed her to the door, staying on her heels. I needed to keep her close, she was my enemy, there was no way I would ever forget that.
The door to my cell swung open easily, and we slipped through. The echoing clang was loud as my cell door slammed shut with a finality that made my heart pound, and a lump form in my throat. Now that I was out I wasn't going back.
Cemetery
Unknown Location, Wyoming
I caught sight of a tall, dark skinned boy moving through the cemetery. He was out in the open, while the rest of us were concealed by ample cover the graveyard provided.
I tracked him, my gun trained on him, but I had to wonder how loose of a threat this was, I needed him to open that gate.
I caught sight of Dean and Beth, they remained hidden until they could quietly close in around him, Sam and dad stepped from the shadows of the surrounding crypt. Ellen and I finished the circle, we had him trapped.
"Howdy Jake." Sam said. In the silence of the cemetery the noise seemed deafening.
Jake turned, shock showing clearly on his face. "Wait…" He said. "You were dead. I killed you." He finished.
"Yeah? Well next time, finish the job." He said taking a step closer.
"I did!" Jake insisted. "I cut clean through your spinal cord man." Yeah, Sam had been dead all right. I thought raising an eyebrow.
What! John's furious voice cut through my thoughts.
Oops. Nothing honey, I've got up here handled you just concentrate on getting out of Hell. I said in a reassuring tone.
John, faltered, I caught a glimmer of something going on down there. This makes no sense. There are too many demons, heading this way. We'll never make it past them. Karen's voice was tight strained.
I stayed silent, I would have to trust Karen to get John out. More I would have to trust John. I fought myself trying to concentrate on the conversation happening in front of me. I needed to be alert, this kid was dangerous. John could handle himself. More than anything I had to believe in him.
He didn't need me to watch his back, not really, he never had, he was John Winchester.
"Hey sweetheart." Jake called. I know he wasn't talking to me. "Do me a favor and put that gun to your head." I drew in a swift breathe all thoughts of John forgotten, I looked hesitantly at Ellen, she was fine. My gaze flew to Beth.
She trembled trying to fight Jake's commands. But her Glock was already pressed shakily to her temple.
"You see that Ava girl was right." Jake said with a smile. "Once you give into it there's all sorts of new Jedi mind tricks you can learn."
"Let her go." Sam snapped.
"Shoot him." Beth countered, her voice trembling.
My grip on my gun tightened and I fought with myself, I wasn't going to let Beth die. I couldn't live with myself. Nicole, John's voice came to me, he was uneasy. I caught flashes of pain. He'd engaged an enemy.
John, I need you to handle it, I am a little bit busy! I snarled furious. This rat bastard needed to die.
His next words made my blood run cold. "You'll be mopping up skull before you get a shot off." My eyes narrowed, and my finger reflexively wrapped around the trigger. "Everyone, put your guns down." He said. Then he winked at Beth. "Except you sweetheart."
I swallowed, forcing my gun to lower. I so wanted to shoot this bastard. "Okay, thank you." He said, like we'd done him a favor. Jake moved then pulling the Colt from his pocket and snapping it into a slot at the front of the crypt.
It began rotating, I didn't need to see what would happen next, I'd already seen it countless times before. I lifted my gun, firing one shot. That caught Jake in the shoulder, a flesh wound. He spun trying to find a place to take cover, though there was nowhere for him to go. I fired a second round, this one going straight for his heart. If he wasn't dead he would be.
Sam fired simultaneously and the force of being shot multiple times forced him on his back in front of the crypt.
I heard him begging Sam not to finish him off, and for once I was grateful Sam was in an unforgiving mood. The ringing in my ears was loud as I forced myself to move forward. What did you need? I questioned John.
Nothing, we just took out some demons. But I get the feeling she's not taking me where I need to go. We are going deeper in. I followed the link back to John, sorting through his recent memories until I found the trip through the underworld.
Where is she taking you? I questioned, trying not to broadcast my thoughts too loud.
John followed her through a left turn, down a narrow winding passageway, then down some stairs, when I noticed the temperature was getting colder. Not hotter.
I made up my mind in that instant. When a dark figure moved from the shadows, and attacked Karen, John was instantly on alert.
Do I help her?John asked unsure of himself.
No! I commanded fear in my voice. Ditch her. I'll lead you out.
The knife skittered along the floor, and I felt John hesitate. Dammit John, leave the knife, the demons will be to busy trying to break free. You have to trust me. I said panic in my voice.
"Oh no." My dad's voice pulled me back to the task at hand.
"Dad, what is it?" I asked. Dean reached out and pulled the Colt from the tumbler just as things clicked into place.
"It's Hell.. Take cover now." He yelled grabbing my arm and jerking me along beside him as a huge mass of demonic smoke poured from the open crypt.
Go right! I said my sense of urgency returning tenfold, We couldn't leave those doors open any longer than necessary. He had to be through them before they closed.
He was hauling ass I could tell, I could barely find landmarks to give him directions as I struggled with getting my door closed.
I fought down a wave of triumph as John started to climb. He was free. I forced myself to remain calm, I wanted to get my door shut as quickly as possible but I had to be absolutely certain he was out.
I knew the instant John crossed the threshold of the gateway. I felt his presence, the white hot energy. I felt the automatic tingling, that was always present any time he was near.
I'm out. He said softly. I can't believe you actually did it.
I allowed a small smile to grace my features while I struggled with the door. You're free. I said softly in agreement.
John's POV
I caught sight of the kids, Dean was pinned by a demon. No, the demon. Over the howling wind I barely managed to catch his next words. "Just the same, I knew I kept you both alive for a reason. Until now, anyway. I couldn't have done it without your pathetic, self-loathing, self-destructive desire to sacrifice yourselves for your family." The demon stepped back raising the gun at Dean and cocking it.
It was now or never, I wouldn't be much use in this form. This bastard had taken my wife from me, I'd be damned if he was going to kill my children too. I felt another boost of energy coming from Nicole.
I took two seconds to glance at the crypt, She had turned her back to the door, throwing all her effort into getting it closed, but from her vantage point she could see what was going on.
Anger pounded through me. Not my children you son of a bitch! I snarled furiously. The next second I was corporeal.
Without thinking, I reached out grabbing the demon. I couldn't fight him on a physical level, But I could fight him on the astral plane. The smokey form of Yellow Eyes was yanked from his host body, and I hung on grimly. Even if I could only give them a few seconds, it would have to be enough.
The demon's vessel fell to the ground, the gun still in his grasp.
He was strong. I felt the strength wash over me as he fought me back, knocking me on my ass, and reclaiming the janitor's body. He stood, ready to destroy us all.
But Dean had retrieved the Colt, and locked the firing pin into place. Triumph burst through me as the demon fell, lifeless to the ground.
I heard Cole let out a gasp as she, Bobby, and Ellen managed to get the crypt shut, and I turned offering her a small smile. Her eyes widened in mock surprise, and I shook my head ruefully. She really sucked at lying.
I smiled then, moving forward to place a hand on Dean and Beth's shoulders. They'd done it. They'd managed to do what I hadn't been able to and I couldn't be any prouder.
I hugged Dean, pulling him into my embrace in a way I'd never done when I was alive. He'd done it. I caught sight of Beth's small, sad smile and the tears in her eyes as she watched us. "Come here baby girl." I said opening my arm. Beth shot into the hug with the force of a bullet and squeezed us tight.
Sam moved into my view and I released my hold on Dean and Beth, smiling at him. "Dad?"
"Hi, son." I said my pride coloring my voice.
"John?" Cole questioned, picking her way through the headstones.
"Nicole…" I said softly. "Hey baby." She was close enough I could reach out and touch her. Unable to help myself I brushed a hand across her cheek. I felt the brush of her skin forever branded into my soul.
"Well, check that off the to-do list." Dean said.
That got a chuckle from everyone, though Cole's sounded tight, and forced.
"You did it." I said unable to keep the pride out of my voice.
"I didn't do it alone." Dean said nodding back at me.
"You really climbed out of Hell?" Sam questioned.
I nodded. "The door was open." I said with a slight smirk.
"And if anyone's stubborn enough to do it, it would be you." Bobby said in a gruff voice.
"Bobby…" I started, trying to find some way to make things right in the small amount of time I had left. Nicole shook her head, the movement was subtle.
You have no need to explain to him. She said her voice defensive. What we did is our business, no one else's.
I wasn't sure how to answer her, so I didn't.
"Forget it John." Bobby said waving a dismissive hand at me. "Water under the bridge."
I smiled a small, sad smile at him.
"Yeah John, On both counts." Ellen added.
I looked over at her. I hadn't seen Ellen in about twenty years. The sight of her standing beside my family, still willing to help them after everything that I'd done to destroy hers brought tears to my eyes. I nodded at her, "Thank you."
"I kind of can't believe it." Sam said looking shell shocked at the demon. "I mean, our whole lives, everything… Everything has been prepping for this and now I…" He trailed off letting out a small chuckle. "I kind of don't know what to say."
"I do." Dean said crouching down to stare into the vacant, lifeless eyes of the demon. "That was for our mom... You son of a bitch."
I felt a sense of completeness, I'd done what I set out to do all those years ago. I'd been able to see it through. I smiled watching Dean, before my gaze slid back to Cole.
She caught my eye and inclined her head, indicating she wanted to talk. I turned walking away with her. I caught Beth telling the others we needed a minute.
Cole's POV
Cemetery
Unknown Location, Wyoming
We reached the edge of the Mausoleum before I turned to John. I was crying already, the tears were there they just hadn't fallen yet.
John reached for my hand, his fingers curling around mine. I could feel the sensation of him gripping my hand, though there was still that small feeling of sticking my hand into a bucket of ice. I felt the tingles though.
I tried to smile. I wanted to smile, but I couldn't quite pull it off. I didn't want to spend John's final few moments being sad. I wanted to put on a brave face, and assure him I would be okay.
I attempted another smile. "You made it out." I said softly.
His face mirrored mine. "Only because of you." He answered.
I cut my eyes away unable to stare at his face too long. "That's not true." I objected. "You would have found-"
He cut me off with a finger pressed to my lips. Jeeze he's freezing. I didn't dare object though, I wanted every last bit of contact I could have with him. "I would not have lasted as long as I did if it hadn't been for you." He said. "You were the only thing keeping me going, you kept me from breaking."
A sob threatened to come out and I stifled it with a hand pressed tightly to my mouth. I refused to cry!
"I wasn't going to let you become one of them." I said. "I'd rather die than see that happen to you."
John nodded, knowing I spoke the truth. "So would I." He responded.
"I love you John. Although I hate you in this moment because you're going to leave me." I said.
John looked at me with a pained expression, then his entire demeanour changed back to the stern drill sergeant we'd all trained with "You need to stay on the move, keep JJ safe, the world just got a little more dangerous. I need you to protect our son, and keep yourself safe."
I nodded, forcing my discomfort and pain to the back of my mind.
John smiled at me. One of his rare, genuine, utterly in love with you smiles. "I love you Nicole." He said softly. "You made an old man happy again, during a time when I was drowning in monsters. I need you to let me go, so you can live your life." He finished.
My mouth opened, and closed like a fish. I fought to breathe in air. I finally worked out what I wanted to say, but there was a shimmering flash of light and John was gone.
John's POV
I was expecting the blinding light. Then I was prepared to show up in Heaven… But nothing happened. I rose an eyebrow as I looked around curiously. Cole was staring at me, tears swimming in her dark chocolate eyes.
"What the Hell," I said. "I don't think it worked." I cracked a smile.
Cole still stared at me, a single tear trailing down her face.
"This is a good thing baby." I said trying to comfort her.
She didn't respond. Her facial expression never even changed. Frowning, I moved closer. "Nicole." I said.
Nothing. I waved a hand in front of her face. "Nicole!" I said my voice raising in panic.
"She won't answer you." A voice said. I looked around searching for who had spoken. There was no one around me.
In the distance I saw Bobby, Sam, Dean, and Ellen moving off towards the vehicles. Beth was tucked underneath Dean's shoulder, their faces were solemn. Nicole had stayed behind with me to talk.
"I wasn't aware a dead man could go crazy." I said to nothing.
"Sure you were." A pretty brunette figure stood next to me.
"Let me guess. You're the reaper here to punch my ticket?" I said quietly.
"The name's Tessa." She replied. She turned her head looking at me for the first time. "And you're the Winchester Patriarch." She smiled ruefully. "You're son's sure have a knack for slipping through my fingers. Doesn't appear that you share their luck."
I narrowed my eyes at her. "So when do we leave?" I asked her.
Her dark eyes widened. "You can't leave John. Not yet. You haven't made up your mind on where to go."
My poker face faltered, my eyes betrayed my emotions as I looked at Nicole. I didn't want leave her. Tessa remained silent at my side.
She tilted her head, choosing her words carefully. "For many, I tell them, of the journey. The choices they still have to make. But you already know. You're a warrior born and bred, weary of the battle, but unable to leave those you love behind."
A small sad smile crossed her face. "You're too afraid you might miss something. Something important. You see this as a chance at redemption. This is your chance to be there for those you love in the only capacity left to you." She said.
I dropped my head, closing my eyes. "So how does this process work?" I asked, my voice sounded hollow to my own ears.
"Some free advice?" Tessa offered.
I inclined my head indicating she continue.
"Many tie themselves to something stationary, a house, or some physical remaining piece of their former selves. Don't do that."
"So I should move on? Get to see some pearly gates? Face the music?" I asked.
"I can't give you all the answers John. You're going to have to decide for yourself." She said.
Cole's POV
Green River, SD
Bed and Breakfast
I got out of the back seat of the Impala. I'd spent the better half of the drive just thinking. Things had gotten so screwed up. Damn Winchester's.
Dad and Ellen pulled up beside us, and we waited for them to get out and join us.
Beth dropped back behind me as I led the way up the walk to the Bed and Breakfast. Out of my periphery, I saw Dean put his arm around Beth. Sammy was coming up on my other side.
"So when it comes down to it, we'll have to make another swing by here for my last meal: it's gonna be pie!" Dean said cheerfully, cracking a smile.
My blood ran cold at the thought. I turned, catching Dean with a right hook.
"Ow! Son of a.." He said stumbling back away from Beth.
Beth ducked a little and turned to the side presenting a smaller target. I dismissed her in one look.
Dean reached out grabbing Beth, and moving her in front of him. "You think that's funny Dean?! What is wrong with you?!" I snarled, suddenly furious. I'd just managed to get John out of Hell and my only way back into Hell was missing.
"Don't you freaking hide behind her, she's got a decent punch coming too!" I snapped.
Beth's eyes widened as she fought Dean, trying to move out of my range, and he was trying to keep me from hitting him again.
"Quit giving me that look, doe eyes, you deserve one." I said angrily.
"Hey don't threaten her." Dean snapped, moving out from behind Beth, who looked like she might cry at any minute.
The waterworks started as Beth couldn't hold together her brave facade any longer. Dean looked panicked all of a sudden, torn between the girl who was falling apart behind him, and me - threatening to beat them both up. He chose her.
"Hey, it'll be okay." Dean said trying to soothe her, his hands coming to rest on her shoulders as she shook her tear-streaked face.
I snorted my derision, if only they knew it certainly wasn't going to be okay. Not by any means. "Yeah, right…"
Dean turned on me. "Like you wouldn't have done the same thing for Dad." He snapped.
"I…" I paused. He was right. That small statement took all the momentary heat out of me. "That is not the point, we are not talking about me." I said, turning on my heel and marching into the B&B
On my way past Sam, I smirked. He had also adopted a defensive position, with one hand covering his family jewels. "And you…" I said threateningly. "I still owe you for Thanksgiving, 1998." I said taking some pleasure from the fact that Sam paled and swallowed audibly. I never had told anyone what had happened that night, John, my father, not even Beth.
Cole's POV
Blue Earth, MN
Jefferson's Place
I woke up to find myself in the middle of a bed. A bed I didn't recognize. Blinking sleepily, I glanced around the room. There was a bassinet in the corner. That I recognized. That was mine. The sleeping child in it belonged to me also.
Closing my eyes with a light groan, I flopped back down on the bed. I'd been exhausted when I made it back to Blue Earth. I laid down in the truck and passed out in the driveway. The door cracked open slightly and seconds later Jefferson crossed the threshold.
He was carrying a plate with food. Nothing special just a sandwich, and chips. There was a bundle of grapes too. I saw the food and my stomach growled audibly.
"Figured you'd be hungry." He said at the noise.
I smiled gratefully. "Thank you." I said taking the plate. I picked up one half of the sandwich looking at the center of it. It had dark green in the center of the sandwich, ham and cheese.
"Something wrong?" Jefferson questioned as he sat down on the edge of the bed.
"What's the green in this?" I asked curious. Unsure if I should eat it.
Jefferson nodded. "Ah. Cucumber." He answered. "Same way mum used to make them."
I frowned giving it some thought. "I've never had cucumber on a sandwich before." I paused thinking. No I was way too lazy to slice up a cucumber and put it on a sandwich. "Unless it was at a Subway." I added.
"Try it."
I fought down the urge to sniff my food. I didn't want to be rude. This man had carried me into the house when he found me passed out in my truck. Taking a bite, I chewed slowly letting the flavors come through, giving it a go. It was delicious. "It's good!" I said when I'd swallowed. I took another bite, going through my half of the sandwich in no time at all.
He chuckled. "It's a British thing."
"This is seriously delicious. I think I have a new favorite sandwich." I paused chewing the last bite of my half. "Take the other half." I said offering Jefferson the plate.
He shook his head. "I ate the other half of the cucumber." He answered, "Though I do want some of your grapes." He reached out snagging a handful. We ate in silence for a few moments, just enjoying each other's company.
"You want to talk about it?" He questioned softly.
My eyes flew to his face. I was trying not to think about it. I was trying to just catch up. I felt like I'd been going for a week. I swallowed going for a chip. Doritos.
"He's out of Hell." I said quietly. "I did what I set out to do. And Sam is alive, Dean's a dumbass." I shook my head. "Not a lot to tell." I said with a shrug. "Beth is a bigger dumbass." I added.
Jefferson nodded, his gaze solemn.
I picked up another chip, munching loudly, the action keeping me from having to talk while I thought about what I wanted to say. The drive back to Minnesota had been horrible. For the first time in a year, I had been alone.
There wasn't someone out there, giving me a purpose, a reason to keep going, Even when I couldn't touch his mind. There was just nothing. I had gotten used to constantly being able to touch John's mind.
Now there was nothing. Just emptiness. I was left with my own thoughts and emotions. And I wanted to curl into a ball and cry.
Jefferson thought about what I said. "How is Beth bigger dumbass than Dean?" He asked.
"She sold her soul to save Sam. Apparently Dean found her as she made the deal at the crossroads. Then he jumped in to save her." I said giving him the abbreviated version.
Jefferson's expression hardened at my words. I stayed silent, finishing off some grapes to think about everything that had happened in the last week. Things had become so fucked.
"Damn those Winchesters." I snapped suddenly.
Jefferson smirked, stifling a laugh.
The plate was now empty, I moved to stand, intending to take it back to the kitchen.
Jefferson stood, taking the plate from me. "I've got it." He said, moving to the door. "Do you want anything else?" He asked.
I let him take it, realizing he needed a minute to be alone.
"No I'm fine thanks." I said. "But…" I trailed off. "Would you come back?" I asked hesitantly. "I just don't want to be alone yet."
He nodded on his way out the door.
Sighing, I stood up crossing the room to look in on JJ. He was sound asleep. I smiled watching him and thinking. Poor little guy. First your dad jumped in the pit to save your brother, now your brother has jumped in to save your other brother.
JJ's nose twitched and he sneezed.
Jefferson wasn't there one minute then he was the next. "Is he okay?" He asked softly, though managing to look panicky at the same time.
I smirked. "He's fine helicopter parent." I teased. Jefferson shot me a dark look.
I moved away from the baby back to the bed, not wanting to wake JJ up. "Thank you for getting me in the house." I said sincerely. I laid back on the mattress, watching Jefferson.
"No problem." Jefferson replied sitting on the other side of the bed and laying back. "He didn't break, did he?" Jefferson asked.
"No, I barely got to him in time." I said. "It was dumb luck that the kids, and the demon they were after, were all going to open the gates of Hell."
"That's good. John was a legend in his own right, a man like that turning into a demon, that wasn't happening." He said confidently.
"It's weird." I began, pausing for a minute. "All this time I wasn't exactly happy that he was sharing my mind, but now that he's gone I'm definitely upset. Does that make me a screwed up person that I wish he was still in Hell being tortured so I wouldn't be alone?" I asked with a bitter laugh. "Yes. It definitely does."
Jefferson shook his head, his gaze serious. "No." He responded. "It makes you human."
I sighed feeling a wave of sadness creep over me. I kept reaching for John, but I felt nothing but a vast empty space. There was no one. I couldn't help the momentary panic that I might be alone for good, and it forced me to my feet. I paced the floorboards, forcing my hands together to stop from wringing them. Jefferson watched this with his typical cool and calm persona.
"What deal did Dean and Beth make?" He asked suddenly and it stopped me short in the middle of the room. My heart raced just thinking about it, I didn't know how we were going to fix this one when it had been so hard to get John out of Hell, and they'd hadn't seen us coming this time.
"Nicole…" The use of my name jerked my head up. There was only one other person who called me that, even Dad had stopped using it years ago.
"Don't call me that!" I snapped.
"Sorry," he apologised, standing up and walking over to placed his hands on my shoulders. "Cole, what have they done?"
"One year," I managed to get out. I never thought I'd see a white boy get any whiter, but the Brit managed to pull it off with those two words.
"Jesus…" he muttered.
"I don't know how we're going to fix this. I don't know… how could they do that? Damn Winchesters."
"We'll figure it out," he said firmly, but the grip on my shoulders said he was feeling anything but confident. I watched as Jefferson pulled back inside of himself for a moment, the passive hunter, eyes going dark and contemplative.
"Will we?" I asked, cringing at the break in my voice. I didn't have that blind confidence all of a sudden. Faith: that was for Beth, and Jefferson, it wasn't mine. Everything I had believed in was gone, the silence a deafening echo in my head.
Jefferson took a steadying breath, watching me with dull blue eyes that usually sparkled. He tossed me his quirky smile trying to dismiss the hunter side of him: it was just Jefferson, the joker, the one who somehow managed to keep us all sane when the world was going mad, but there was a pain shimmering under the surface.
I watched him shove all that pain and hurt deep, and realised that he'd been doing it for a long time. We all had. But when it came to Dean and Beth, no one had been their biggest advocate, no one had known them longer as a couple - longer than they even remembered.
"It was just dumb luck we got John out," I muttered, bunching my hands at my side. "How on earth do we save these two idjits now?"
I felt the tears welling in my eyes, hot and salty, and I blinked back against them. I didn't want to cry, I would not cry for them yet.
"I will find a way," Jefferson said, his voice stilted and raw. I realised with a start that he was blinking back the same tears I was fighting.
"This is a messed up situation," I muttered, shaking my head.
"Yeah," he said, and I didn't fight him when he pulled me into his arms, wrapping them tightly around me. Laying my head on his chest, I was surprised by the way his heart was racing. His breathing was fast, and his chest rose in short, quick peaks.
I looked into broken blue eyes, and my resilience shattered. Everything I knew was falling apart around me, even the man holding me in his arms. Reaching up, I took his face in my hands and then pulled him toward me, my lips crushing his in an urgent need to push it all out of my head. I heard a light groan escape his mouth, and his hands dropped to my waist, holding me away from him, yet he didn't pull his face away.
"Cole…" he murmured into my mouth as I thrust my tongue in against his.
"Shut up," I ordered him, pulling at the hem of his shirt, running my hands up his back and along the soft, hot skin I found.
In the beginning, John would always stiffen up and attempt to resist, then he learned I wasn't going away. I was expecting the same from Jefferson, and for a moment he hesitated, but then he opened his mouth to me. I poured everything I was feeling into that kiss, my grief, anger, devastation.
I pushed him back onto the bed, and quickly I moved, throwing a leg over Jefferson's lean body, straddling him. I would be in control of how things progressed. Jefferson broke the kiss. "Don't think so love. You want to forget. To be numb to the pain, I can help you with that. But you're going to let me drive." He said firmly, rolling us so he was on top.
"Not here," he said pulling me to my feet. His hands slid behind me as he walked us backward out of the room. I barely heard him as I stripped him of his shirt and then fumbled to undo his belt, and shuck his jeans to the ground. Jefferson stopped for a moment and then growled, kissing me back with hot feverish kisses as he wound his hands into my hair and tugged, pulling my head back so he could start kissing along my neck.
"Stop fucking about," I said to him, raking my nails along his back, finding old scars that broke my concentration.
Jefferson stopped, looking up at me with dark eyes full of want and need. "You want this, we do it my way, I'm not John - wouldn't even try to compete, love. You're not giving the orders here like you did with him."
I saw red at the mention of John's name and shoved him back toward the door, glaring daggers at him.
"We've all lost people we love," he said, his breathing hard as he watched me. "We do this, it's us, Cole. Nobody else."
There was something in his eyes, a vulnerability that bled through from his hard gaze. "I'm not in love with you, Cole. You're not in love with me. This is sex, and I can give you what you need right now, but you need to face reality, John is gone, no one is going to replace him."
The last bit hurt, so much so that I flinched. He watched me, slowly closing the gap between us until his mouth hovered over mine and all I could see were pools of swirling blue. "Do you still want this?"
I nodded, almost imperceptibly.
"Say it."
"Yes," I whispered, licking at my dry lips, not trusting my voice any further.
He responded by lifting me effortlessly, my legs coming to wrap naturally about his waist. Long, hard kisses reached my mouth as he walked us out of the room and across the hall to his bedroom, laying me down on the bed.
"Just relax," he ordered with a control I'd missed for some time. "I'm going to help you forget for a bit."
I had nothing more to say. I just obeyed, going with him. No longer thinking about what I was missing, or what I was possibly going to do to keep my son safe. I just lost myself in the sensations pouring over me. I let myself go numb. It was easy. Right now I needed something easy.
John's POV
I glanced back up from my sleeping son, to the room across the hall. I was furious at the scene I could see unfolding through the open doors. Jefferson, a man I trusted. A man who had been there while Cole was pregnant with my baby was now draped over the top of her.
He was driving her through her third orgasm. A thought that made my blood boil. I supposed I would have to get used to this though. I'd wanted her to move on and live her life, I just hadn't expected she would be fucking another man so quickly. And with our son in the room next door.
I would have to get used to this. This was what I had chosen for myself. I would have to watch the love of my life move on and be happy with someone else.
I smiled down at the sleeping form of my son. But I'd get to see him grow up. I'd get to be there for him in a way none of my other children had ever known. I wouldn't miss a thing.
I looked over at his mother, I loved her. I always would. I would have to learn to live with this, until she absolutely found another to be happy with. One who was good enough for her, worthy of the miracle she was.
Author's Notes:
Song: Where the Lonely One's Roam by Digital Daggers
Okay, I have literally been trying to post this chapter for 3 days! My internet has been acting really messed up. But Ta-Da! It's here!
Well everyone there's 18. Done and dusted as ~belladonna78 says. I like how I've done things thus far. I actually can't believe I'm in season 3 already? It kinda sucks cause we'll be saying bye to John for the most part. He may show up every now and then giving his thoughts on the scenes in front of him. But this chapter was rather heartbreaking for me cause for now, Cole doesn't get her Happily Ever After. :(
Huge shout out to the new followers. I hope you all will take the time to leave a review in the future. I've gotten several new followers in the last few weeks and I have to say those new people reading the story are what helped to push me into writing.
Up next: I have a few thoughts moving forward. I'd like to get some of your thoughts on this. Any of you Walking Dead fans? I'd like to do a slight crossover with TWD. ~belladonna78 and I have already discussed how it could be done and I am so looking forward to doing it. What do y'all think? Also I am going to be starting my own prequel to this prequel. So things are coming together for that. I just don't have a lot to show for it yet but the thoughts are there.
I'm wanting to advance this story more, and not get stuck on John, but he has been relatively instrumental to the story so far, so now I'm having to move in new characters and create new OC's. Let me know if you guys like or dislike someone. If you really dislike someone, I will take suggestions on their longevity and how they should die. Unless of course I really have a story mapped out for them.