It's pretty short again, too much going on at work but thankfully it's short story month so the next chapter is just a few days away.

Ch. 2 Numb

(ZIG)

"Where are we?" Clare questions when I unlock the door of the apartment building.

"Where I live," I tell her.

"Who's the babe?" Vince questions when I unlock the door to our apartment. He's sitting on the sofa watching TV and counting his drug money.

"I know you," Clare mumbles looking at Vince as I begin pulling her back to the room I share with Tiny, "I know him."

"Yeah that's Vince," I reply bringing her into my room and locking the door. She lies on my bed and I lie next to her. "Open your mouth," I command and she does without question, I take a tab from my nightstand and place it on her tongue. "It will melt," I inform her and she closes her mouth again.

I wait a few minutes for the tab to take effect, or for her to start convulsing because I overdosed her, not really sure the combo I gave her is safe. When she closes her eyes and just sort of giggles and moans after a few minutes I figure it's taken effect. I tug her shirt up and kiss her belly and all she does is giggle. I pull it up a little farther and lift her bra at the same time. She doesn't do anything, just lies there and when I kiss her breasts she kind of giggles again and then mutters something. When I look at her she seems to be seeing something on the ceiling but she's much too high to notice what I'm doing. I fondle her breasts for a while, kissing them, squeezing them, licking them, sucking hard and she never does anything. She doesn't seem to even notice she's just laughing about whatever she sees on the ceiling.

I manage to get her dress off and then her bra. Her breasts are so big, Tori's were small and she only let me see them once. I squeeze both of Clare's breasts in my hands, I squeeze them hard and tweak her nipples sucking on them. I'm rather fascinated by her nipples, I can pull them and suck on them and make them red and bigger and I can poke them in. I'm entertained by them for a long time but before I get her panties down she starts shaking a little and then groans curling on her side.

"I don't feel so good, my head hurts," Clare whines.

"I'll get you some water but I know you shouldn't have aspirin with everything else," I comment getting off the bed.

"So who is she?" Vince asks as I grab a glass of water.

"A girl from school, she's probably sleeping here."

Vince just shrugs and I go back in to give Clare the water. I give her the glass and she groans a little more and then passes out. I make sure she's breathing before I go out and watch TV with Vince. I check on Clare a few times to make sure she's still alive but she's no fun when she's unconscious.

"Eli killed himself in front of The Dot today," Tiny informs us when he comes home.

"That's what she was talking about when she said he's dead," I remark and Tiny looks at me. "Clare's in the bedroom, she's sleeping here. She wanted to be numb so I gave her some morphine in her drink and some E when we got here to make her feel better. She's passed out now. So is school cancelled tomorrow because Eli offed himself? I always knew that guy was nuts."

"I doubt it; I didn't hear that school was cancelled only that he killed himself because of her."

"Fuck see I told you fucking nuts," I laugh.

Tiny looks in the bedroom to see that Clare is really here before he sits on the sofa with us. We watch TV and eat snacks until deciding to go to bed. Clare is still asleep when I go to bed and she wakes up early I don't even feel her leave the bed but I notice she's out of the bed. When I go out to the living room I find Clare in my shirt eating cereal.

"I couldn't find my clothes and I was hungry," she tells me.

"It's fine, feeling better?"

"I don't know what I feel. What did you give me yesterday?"

"Does it matter?"

"Not really," she shakes her head.

She finishes her cereal, I get her clothes from the bedroom and she gets dressed in the washroom. She never even asks why she's undressed or if anything happened last night, maybe she remembers it's hard to tell.

"I should get ho…" she begins to say home and then starts crying and shaking, it's like she just crumbles at the thought of going home which is a little strange to me. "I need to change," she whispers after a second.

"Are your parents home?" I inquire and she nods. "Then they probably wouldn't let me come in to get you clothes. I know a decent thrift store we can get some clothes for you if you don't want to go to your house."

"I don't have my purse."

"Hang on," I reply and go to Vince's room. "Hey Vince, I need some cash to get Clare some clothes."

"Dude it's fucking early just take some cash but you better put it back or get it paid back somehow," Vince grumbles.

I grab $40 from the stash and tell Clare I'm going to get dressed. When I'm dressed we leave, the thrift store is a few blocks away but Clare finds a dress and I pay for it then we catch the bus to school. When we near the corner with The Dot Clare hides her head on my shoulder and doesn't look up until I tell her we're here. It's probably a good thing she wasn't looking at that corner because there was a lot of flowers and posters for Eli. If she had seen them she probably would have freaked out. Although when we get off the bus I see there's some flowers and posters here too. Clare gets off the bus and sees the flowers and she freezes. She's a few steps ahead of me when she freezes and I start to walk to her but Owen comes over so I walk past her.

(CLARE)

"Clare, where were you everyone's been worried," Owen tells me but I can't take my eyes from the flowers and posters on the steps for Eli.

"He's dead, he's dead, he's dead," I say over and over again. I can't seem to stop, Owen looks behind me at the flowers and things and then puts an arm around my shoulders. "Come on we can go in this way," he tells me taking me to the garden entrance. "You don't have to be here I'm sure everyone would understand if you went home," Owen comments as we go inside.

"Can't go home, he was there, I'll see him there, can't go home," I shake my head.

"I'll be here all day, if you need to get out of here or anything just come get me. Armstrong will be cool if I need to get you out of here," Owen says bringing me to my locker.

"Thanks," I reply quietly trying to smile at Owen but I can't seem to get my lips to curl into a smile.

Owen does give me a compassionate smile before walking away. I start to open my locker but I hear kids in the hall whispering. Talking about Eli and me and what happened yesterday.

"She wouldn't even talk to him and he killed himself for her."

"She pushed him in front of the truck because he cheated on her."

"She broke up with Eli to date Drew and when she wouldn't get back together with Eli he threw himself in front of a truck."

The whispering is going all down the halls, the rumors floating down the halls like the wind and I feel like everyone is watching me. And then I hear Eli, his voice whispering in my ear, I turn my head and see him standing there. Leaning against the locker next to mine and smirking like he's done a thousand times.

"You killed me Clare."

"I'm sorry," I cry and begin to shake.

The sound of another locker slamming shut startles me and I blink. When I look back Eli is gone and I run. I don't know where I'm going I just run, I want to get away. I run to the student council office and sink down to the sofa. I can't seem to stop crying or shaking and I can't stop hearing Eli whisper to me.

"Clare where'd you go last night?" Adam asks sitting next to me but I'm crying too hard to answer and just shake my head.

"Come on you shouldn't be here we'll take you home," Drew says.

"No," I assert standing up quickly, "no I'm fine I don't need to go home." I wipe the tears from my eyes and start walking out of the student council office.

"Okay let's go to class then," Drew remarks with a hand on my arm.

I only now realize that Dallas is here too and the four of us walk to homeroom together because we all have the same one. I don't have my backpack or purse or anything but the teacher doesn't care. All through class I don't hear the teacher once, I either hear the rumors and whispers or I hear Eli's voice and see him. I see him, he's there, smirking at me or telling me he loves me or that I killed him but only I see him.

"I have to use the washroom," I tell Adam when we leave class. He and I have biology next but Drew and Dallas have gym.

"Okay I'll see you in class," Adam says.

I walk in the direction of one the washrooms but have no intention of going into the washroom. I look for Zig, I haven't any idea what class he has but I find Tiny, I saw him this morning when I woke up this morning and Zig told me his name while we were getting my dress.

"Where's Zig?" I ask Tiny, he's talking with a girl that has long black hair she's streaked green.

"Probably his locker, we have English next," Tiny replies.

"Which one is his locker?" I ask. Tiny gives me his locker number and I walk quickly. "Zig," I say his name, he looks over and I run over taking his arm, "get me out of here, please I can't take this anymore. I don't want to be here; I don't want to feel this way anymore. I want what you gave me yesterday, I want to be numb and floaty again."

"Okay let's go," Zig replies taking my hand and we walk out just as the bell rings and everyone else goes to class. We leave through the back and walk to the ravine. Zig kicks a couple of kids out of the car seat they use for seating and I sit down. "You want me to mix it in a drink again?" Zig asks and I shake my head. "I'm not sure we have any oral and I doubt you want a needle. Wait here I'll see what's around but I promise to bring you something to make you feel good."

"Thanks," I mumble and sink back.

Zig returns with a little white pill and a glass of water, I swallow the pill and curl up on the seat putting my head on Zig's shoulder. It's not as fast as what he gave me yesterday, I watch the fire and try not to think while the drug takes effect. And then it begins to, I begin to feel floaty and numb and off somewhere else I'm not me anymore, no pain, no guilt no rumors, no Eli.

"Come on let's go have some more fun," Zig tells me pulling me up.

I'm vaguely aware that he takes me to one of the little tents and lies me down. I feel his hand go up my dress, I feel him opening the buttons on it but I don't care. I don't care at all what happens to me right now as long as the pain and the guilt is gone.

The update on Sunday will likely begin in Owen's pov and hopefully be longer as I don't work on Sundays.