A/N: Hello! Here comes chapter 2, I hope you enjoy it! I'm gonna explain some history things at the end! And thanks so so much to those of you who have commented or followed or favourited this, it honestly makes me so happy!
Chapter 2 - When I've lost my way: Part II
The rare silence of Angelica's heart lasted for all of one second, before Maria chuckled and pointed out, "That's enough, Thomas, you're making her blush." As soon as the words were spoken, the woman became acutely aware of the heat coursing through her veins and resting on her face, painting her cheeks a shade darker than they ought to be.
Embarrassment in the face of her pre-existing humiliation would only make her nerves all the more apparent, so the proud lady laughed and snatched her hand away, playing at nonchalance just as she had managed to perfect during her encounters with other men who had stilled her heart but were most definitely unavailable to her, such as her sister's husband.
She had no reason to worry so much about what they thought of her, however, because as soon as Mrs Cosway had warned him sternly against mortifying her friend, the American Ambassador seemed to remember the value of her company and his undivided attention fell back upon her, suggesting in a low, unmistakably flirtatious tone, "Did you have something else in mind that I might kiss?"
The artist narrowed her eyes, as if deciding whether to punish or reward him for his bold query. In the end, she chose neither, instead opting to remind him of Angelica's presence and observations of his shameless teasing, "We'll see, but I had hoped you might find that my dear Angelica was more than enough to gratify your desire for kisses." She glanced playfully towards the woman in question, smirking in amusement whilst her eyes seemed to encourage her to participate in their overly friendly banter. "She has a great interest in being entertained by men much like yourself."
Angelica nodded, needing no more invitation to interject, "No matter the high opinion you might hold of Mr Jefferson, I have no reason as of yet to believe he is as entertaining as you claim." Other than that gleam of intelligence - that at least indicates he has potential to rouse my interest.
Thomas returned his attention to Angelica, an eyebrow quizzically raised as he accused, "You would have blushed like that for anyone? And here I was, believing I was something special."
"Is that right? Special to me personally, or just in general?" Angelica shot back with a sweet smile which contradicted the speed and emphasis behind her daringly critical retort. Just a minute in his company was long enough for her to establish the realization that Jefferson was either at worst unjustifiably arrogant or at best overly confident in his abilities. She had yet to discover if he had any specific talent which warranted such self-assurance.
Thomas narrowed his eyes, and scanned the newcomer, unaccustomed to women doing anything other than fall immediately at his feet in their efforts to gain his favour. Angelica Schuyler Church was drastically different, in that she not only seemed like she had yet to be charmed by his words, but that she also seemed to be tossing an outright insult at his ego.
Had she not had such a pleasing smile, he might have decided then and there that he did not like her and resolved to speak only to Maria and ignore her completely. But, though it chagrined him to excuse her comment, he painted on a smile and pretended he had never even noticed the sarcasm in her retort, "I believed I might be special to you, but forgive me if I was mistaken."
"You were, Sir, because I am a firm believer that everyone should earn acclaim before being lionized," Angelica confirmed, not forgetting to encourage, "I'm sure you have potential to prove yourself to me yet."
Throughout the duration of this exchange, Mrs Cosway had watched, enraptured, at the conversation between her occasional lover and her friend she had been estranged from for so long, pleased that they seemed to be compatible with one another judging the way there was not a lull in the chatter and optimistically hopeful that it might continue.
However, her dreams were dashed when an unwelcome presence appeared at her side, attempting to grab her hand before she defiantly folded her arms over her chest. Not ripping her eyes away from the pair in front of her out of reluctance to gaze upon the man at her side just as much as infatuation with their discussion, she kept her words clipped and disinterested as she asked, "What is it, my dear husband?"
At that, both Angelica and Thomas forgot whatever words might have been poised and prepared to leave their lips and instead turned to observe the tense conversation between the scorned husband and his blatantly antagonized wife. Richard Cosway, the renowned painter of miniatures, was evidently more expressive with a brush than he was with words, curtly explaining, "We're going home. Say goodbye to your companions."
With a look which could have been either a falsely enthusiastic grin or a deeply dismayed grimace, Maria obeyed, murmuring, "Goodbye, dear Angelica. Have a lovely evening, and remember you have friends here already who adore you." Turning to Jefferson, she winked for the express purpose of causing her husband to instantly flush a deep, envious shade of purple in irritation and bid, "Goodbye, my darling Thomas."
Maria turned around and walked away from her husband towards the door, leaving Angelica watching the curious way Richard Cosway's face twisted into an unrecognizable distortion as he struggled to stifle his annoyance at the way Jefferson's gaze following after her longingly. By the time she reached the door, he had managed to look instead at her husband, smirking smugly as he patronizingly reminded him, "I thought you were leaving."
Cosway glared at Jefferson in a silence so deathly that it spoke volumes momentarily before following the steps of his wife.
Angelica returned her focus to Thomas, astutely remarking, "I'd hazard a guess that Mr Cosway knows exactly what you're doing with his wife." And I'm not surprised - neither of you were particularly subtle.
Jefferson's eyes widened in surprise, before transforming into a laughably weak attempt at feigning innocence as he insisted, "I have no idea what you mean." Angelica rolled her eyes, earning a tentative chuckle from her fellow American, opening her mouth to present the information she had gathered before Jefferson put his hands up and begrudgingly confessed, "Fine, you caught me. She told you?"
"She mentioned that keeping company other than her husband was occupying her time," Angelica shrugged, hoping despite herself in an uncharacteristic hunger for gossip on this specific subject that Thomas might enlighten her further if she remained vague.
The man sighed, rubbing his temple in a brief show of weakness as he admitted, ""Was" is the operative word in that sentence. We were something, but she put an end to it a few weeks ago. This evening was the first time I had seen her since then."
Angelica glanced immediately to the ground, awash with the feeling of guilt that she had interrupted the reunited former couple on the first and perhaps the only occasion when Jefferson might be able to change her mind as he so obviously longed to do. "I'm sorry, Sir. That... it is a terrible thing to be in love with someone you can not have." I completely understand, but please, please don't ask me how I happen to know that.
Fortunately, she was spared any unwanted, overly probing questions as the Ambassador to France had evidently decided to deny his enduring fondness for the Italian painter. Smiling reassuringly, he corrected, "I do not love her, because if I did, she would not escape me. You can be certain of that, Mrs Church," he finished, his words taking on a strange gravity and his eyes glowing with some new but unidentifiable quality.
Feeling again as though Jefferson might be capable of causing a jump in her pulse, the woman tried to distract him from whatever game he was playing so well, changing topic without a hint of subtly as she remembered, "The Marquis de Lafayette informed me that you succeeded Benjamin Franklin as the United States' Ambassador to France." She asked no questions, but her attentive gaze invited elaboration from the politician.
Thomas nodded, pointing out, "That is how I came to be here, in France."
She couldn't understand why he seemed so hesitant to share more than that meagre phrase regarding his position, but giving him a second chance she coaxed him to reveal more, "What duties fall to you in your time here?"
Jefferson frowned, allowing a hint of sarcasm to taint his words as he suggested, "There must be something you would rather discuss than my political duties. After all, the tender breasts of ladies were not formed for political convulsion; and the French ladies miscalculate much their own happiness when they wander from the true field of their influence into that of politics."
There was nothing malicious in his expression, only the placid demeanour of one who is blissfully ignorant to the insult he had caused with his casual disregard of womankind.
His mistake was not to go unpunished, however, as Angelica's suddenly stormy frown forewarned the verbal strike of lighting headed directly for him. Drawing a deep breath before erupting, she proceeded to vehemently argue, "That is one of the most conceited examples of thoughtless misogyny I have seen in some time. Who are you to make sweeping generalizations about half of the human race when you have met a mere fraction of the world's women, and cannot claim to know the extent of their abilities? And what makes you believe you can tell me my conversational purpose when you know absolutely nothing about me? My Father, General Philip Schuyler, is a New York Senator who taught me plenty about that which you deem me unworthy of talking about, and my brother-in-law, Alexander Hamilton, spoke at the Constitutional Convention and continually stimulates my knowledge in his letters to me, even asking my advice on matters. So if it's not too much trouble, I think you ought to judge every person individually on their strengths rather than assuming that all men are naturally gifted decision makers and women are entirely incapable. I've known many men who were in fact far less intelligent than so many clever women I've encountered in my time, Jefferson." She concluded with a stern look which dared him to contradict her, and threatened a fate worse than death if he had the audacity to do so.
Thomas stood in stunned silence for a moment, regarding her with great scrutiny. Yes, it was evidentially proven that Mrs Schuyler-Church was very much unique from any other woman he had encountered. Eventually, he nodded in surprising submission, murmuring, "Point taken," before briskly steering the subject matter away from the tender area of gender inequality. "Anyway, you were asking me about my responsibilities."
"Yes, and you were criticizing my gender." The man winced at her quip, and his relief was palpable when she elected to continue the new strand of conversation, "If you believe my fragile body can withstand the pressure of listening, I'd be very interested in learning more about it."
He chuckled with uncharacteristic nerves at that dig, before complying with her suggestion, explaining, "I am stationed here in the capital of France in order to maintain a diplomatic and peaceful relationship between our own home country and this one. I am supposedly involved in any negotiations made during my time here, and I can ensure that France's views towards us are friendly."
Angelica nodded thoughtfully, recalling, "I thought as much. I encouraged my dear brother to apply for your position some time ago, though I will admit that was advice rooted primarily in my desire to be nearer to him and my darling sister." At the mention of Elizabeth Hamilton, her elder sister's countenance took on a trace of sadness, her radiant eyes transforming into hollow orbs which reflected the loneliness she had forced to the back of her mind.
In an unexpected show of humanity from the man who as of yet had displayed nothing but egotistical confidence in his own abilities, Thomas' words were bizarrely gentle as he asked, "You miss them so much?"
Angelica dredged up a bittersweet smile, unconvincing as she attempted to assure him, "I am satisfied with my own company and that of my husband and children. It would not be fair on my Betsey or our Alexander to drag them to an entirely different continent for the sake of my comfort." There are certain things I must not do, and one is distracting the great polymath, while another is ripping a second daughter miles away from our Father.
Showing his skills of perception for the first time, Jefferson was clearly sceptical about her response, but rather than prying further into matters of the relative stranger's heart, he instead opted to comfort her, setting a hand on her forearm as he decided, "I may not be your esteemed brother, but seeing as I am Ambassador instead of him, I will do all I can to assist you in any way within my power." There was an unanticipated heat in his words as he commented offhandedly, "You know, seeing that my fellow Americans feel at home in this country also falls within my responsibilities, Mrs Church."
His sensitivity truly warmed her heart, and for the first time that evening he saw genuine happiness in her smile as she murmured softly, "Thank you, Mr Jefferson."
He returned a grin, glad that he had helped to keep her pain at bay, however all too swiftly his grin was reduced to the smirk he usually donned as he enquired curiously, "You said you were here with your husband and children... for a woman so adamant that the fairer sex is as capable as any man to make a decision, why is it that he, whoever he might be, has dictated that you join him here rather than remain with your fellow countrymen in our motherland?" He didn't explicitly criticize either half of the Church couple, but something about his tone seemed almost scornful of whatever man believed he could control the evidently feisty creature before him, and bemused that she would submit to his will.
Raising an eyebrow, she clarified, "Are you saying that you believe I should simply defy my husband and do as I wish?"
His complacent smirk only grew as he pointed out a flaw in her reply, "Are you admitting that doing what you wish and remaining at you husband's beck and call are two vastly different things?"
She scowled, but there was humour in her eyes sufficient to permit him to laugh at her. Shaking her head in amusement, she avoided directly answering his query with a simple statement which had become something of a mantra to her in the days when she truly despaired, "My husband is a wonderful man who adores and spoils me, and any woman should be proud to accompany him on his ambitious endeavours."
""Should" and "is" are very different terms, Angelica," he muttered with a playful smirk, hurrying to continue before she could defend her marriage, "And what endeavours are those?" Although Thomas had the courtesy to ask, he still retained a thoroughly unimpressed view of the husband he had yet to meet.
"John is a businessman who made a great fortune during the Revolutionary War by selling to American troops when his fellow Englishmen refused to do so. Now he is in pursuit of a seat in the Houses of Parliament back in London," she informed him, head held high as if honestly proud of his achievements. She knew, though, that regardless of the wealth it rewarded their family with, a successful businessman paled to tragic insignificance when compared to the man she had set her heart on in another lifetime.
"And to earn that, he brought you to... France?" Jefferson checked, this time confused not simply because he had judged Angelica to be the sort of woman who fantasized about far more than money in a relationship, but also because the man he could already assume was less intelligent than his wife was apparently going very much out of his way in order to fulfil his dreams.
Angelica only shrugged, understanding his relatable lack of comprehension, as she remarked, "I suppose the connections he makes here might make all the difference."
"Even so, to pull a woman such as yourself from her home in order to make connections which may or may not in turn result in a position of political power hardly seems fair," he pointed out, somehow giving off the impression of a man who believed in gender equality as much as she did when she knew for a fact that he that he could be unfairly dismissive of her himself.
Her raised eyebrow seemed to convey her opinion that he was being hypocritical, and he swiftly added, "I mean, as a husband, his priority is surely meant to be his wife's happiness."
Angelica sighed, reminding him sternly, "It is my place to judge my dear husband, and it is your place to respect our marriage, regardless of your own personal ponderings." Even if you happen to be quite correct on this occasion, she added mentally, but would not dare to criticize John aloud, particularly to a man she had only just become acquainted with.
Jefferson was sensible enough to let the matter drop, instead choosing to find some sort of solution to the endearing woman's woe rather than blame the man who, in his opinion, was solely responsible for causing it. Speaking it as more of a demand than an offer, he insisted, "Well, if you are bound to this man whose ambitions are destined to make you miserable, I see it as my duty to do all I can to ease your sadness, Angelica."
She opened her mouth to protest before he interrupted, "I have known loneliness myself - my youngest daughter has been left behind in America, so I can relate to your longing to see your family again." He had assumed his typical self-assured persona until he mentioned his daughter, at which point his own expression became tainted with sorrow. It looked undeniably odd on the features she had only ever seen smiling or scanning thoughtfully, and it elicited feelings of sympathy for the man.
Offering her hand, she agreed, "Very well. We, as Americans, will do all we can to reduce the nagging feelings of homesickness which plague us, if it would please you."
Jefferson took her hand in his, shook it once, and lifted it again to his mouth as he murmured sombrely, "Most definitely, Mrs Church." This time, there was no woman other than Angelica in his mind as he kissed her knuckles, an innocent gesture which seemed to promise so much more to come...
A/N: DAYUM SON TJEFFS GOT GAME AMIRITE?
Just kidding, anyway, that TJeffs quote about boobs and politics not mixing was something he genuinely wrote in a letter to Angelica. Maria Cosway crossing her arms in defiance is a subtle reference to how she painted a self portrait with her arms folded in protest to her husband making her stop painting. And it is believed she and TJeffs really did have an affair, which is why they're so flirty, but don't worry because more Jeffergelica is very much on its way!
I think that's all! Oh, apart from a reminder that regardless of how much he might be romanticized in this Angelica centric story, it is my personal opinion and an actual fact that he was a massive arse and that should not be forgotten. Please, for the sake of Sally Hemings.
And thanks again for reading! More coming soon!