When I returned home, Dimitri and I finished the movie and then went to bed. I felt as if I'd just closed my eyes and then I was pulled in to a spirit dream. We were in Adrian's apartment and he was leaning against the wall, as far away as he could possibly get.
"It's 'Daisy'." He said, not wasting any time on small talk.
"My name's Rose actually, but close enough."
Adrian rolled his eyes and shook his head. "The note that you got, the line is from the song 'Daisy'."
"How do you know about the note?"
"I just checked in on Lissa and she told me. She was spiralling in to the darkness, racking her brain for an answer to your problem. I said that I'd come and tell you."
"Which song is it?"
"Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I'm half crazy over the love of you-" He said instead of singing it.
"And I can't afford a carriage..." I sang, filling in the words. "But you'll look sweet, upon the seat of a bicycle made for two."
"You know it?"
I nodded and frowned. "Janine used sing it to me when I was little. She changed it to 'Rosie'."
"I met a show girl in Vegas that was called Daisy. She used to sing it to herself went she put her make up on. Is that why you hate being called 'Rosie'?"
I nodded and thought about those early days with my mother before she dropped me off at the Academy and went back to being a guardian. Ever since she left me there, I'd never let anyone call me Rosie. I was surprised that I could remember those early days, but I could. I remembered sitting on a chair, Janine behind me as she brushed my hair and sang to me. Her voice was surprisingly sweet for such a tough woman. "Why would someone be sending me a note with a song the lyrics of a song that my mother used to sing to me?"
"Are you sure it's not your mother?"
"I doubt it. She's more of a two word email kind of woman. She's too busy saving the world to sit and cut out bits of magazines."
"I'm sure it's just someone messing with you. Trying to test the amazing Rose Hathaway." He said, the sarcasm thick in his voice.
"Adrian, I-"
"I didn't come here to talk to you, little dhampir. I came to tell you what I know. I'll see you around." He said and I could feel the dream fading away.
"Adrian, wait!" I tried but he was gone.
I woke up as soon as the dream ended and stared up the ceiling, wondering what the hell was going on. Dimitri was cuddled in to my side, his arm across my hip, hugging me to him. I slowly slipped out of his arms, being careful not to wake him. Dimitri had spent the last week treating me like a baby bird. He touched me with the gentlest hands and watched me carefully. It was sweet how concerned he was for me, or at least it had been for the first hour or so. It quickly became annoying but I'd done my best to bite my tongue and put up with it. Right now, the last thing I needed was him to watch me or ask how I was feeling – he could read me like one of his Western novels and I hated it.
I went over to the window and pulled the curtain. It was dusk, the sun was just starting to set on the horizon and the sky was filled with an orange-pink glow. I pulled my clothes on quickly and grabbed my stake, slipping it inside my jacket. I scribbled out a note for Dimitri, telling him that I'd gone for a walk and would bring back breakfast, and then left our apartment. I headed straight to the edge of court, spoke briefly to the guardian on gate duty and slipped outside of the wards without too many questions.
I headed towards the treeline that lead to a heavily wooded area and sat under one of the old oaks and watched the sun set completely. It was peaceful out there with only the sounds of the birds chirping to each other. There was no other noise – no cars or people, no hustle and bustle that came from living in the cities. I'd missed at first, when Dimitri had taken Liss and I back to St Vlad's but now I loved the silence.
I wasn't sure how long I'd been sitting there but it was completely dark and I knew that Dimitri would probably be awake by now, so I stood up and brushed the dirt of my butt before heading back to the gate. It was then that a wave of nausea washed over me and I froze. Since I'd lost the bond, I'd been sure that I'd have lost everything else too; the nausea that told me when strigoi were near, the darkness and the ghosts. Apparently, I hadn't.
I pulled my stake out of my jacket and turned to face the trees. A strigoi woman came out from behind one of the trees, her skin pale and her eyes red. Her clothes were torn and her hair was a mess but she still looked like she'd be a credible opponent. Especially seeing as I was out of practice. She bared her fangs at me snarled, taking a step towards me. I took an automatic step back and altered my stance, ready to defend myself. The irony wasn't lost on me – six weeks ago it would have been me that was ready to attack but now I was taking a purely defensive stance.
She raced towards me and swung out at me. For the most part, I evaded her attacks and did my best to stay upright.
She closed the distance between us and lashed out. I ducked her blow, the fist that had been meant for my jaw narrowly missing me. Avoiding her was relatively simple but I knew that it wouldn't last. I was getting tired quickly and I knew that I needed to attack. I tightened my grip on my stake and swiped at her, my stake slicing her chest open. She squealed in pain as the silver slit her skin open but we both knew that it was barely more than a paper cut. The slice had only angered her further and she came to me with more force than before. She managed to knock me down but I rolled before she could rip my heart out with her bare hands. I was on my back, looking up at her, when she lunged down at me. It wasn't until I smiled up her that she even realised that my stake had gone straight through her heart. She looked at me in disbelief for a moment before she closed her eyes and slumped over me.
I struggled to push her off me but I managed it and pulled my stake out of her chest. I laid still for a moment, staring up at the night sky as I caught my breath. I stood up and put my stake back in my jacket, wondering what I was going to tell Dimitri. Nothing, I decided. I wasn't going to tell him anything. As far as he was concerned, I'd had an uneventful, peaceful walk. What happened outside the wards, stayed outside the wards. Dimitri would never need to know. Or maybe not.
Three more strigoi came out from the treeline then, there grins visible even in the dark. They came towards me as I pulled my stake out again, wondering how the hell I was going to get through this, and formed a triangle around me with me in the centre.
They pushed me around, much like I'd seen the kids at school do. I was shoved from one strigoi to another, barely staying on my feet, before they got bored of there game. The one that held me spun me around so that my back was against his chest, his hands around my throat.
"How nice, I get first taste." He laughed to his friends and then tilted my head to the side, brushing his cold lips against my skin.
"You said that we'd all get first taste. There's plenty of her to go around, Eric." One complained but was silenced by Eric's growl.
I used his distraction to throw my head back hard, hitting his nose. It didn't hurt him but it surprised him enough for me to get out of his grip. I knew that there was no way that I was going to be able to fight all three of them and live to tell the tale, so I ran as fast I could towards the gate. I knew that they were only a few paces behind me but I didn't turn to see. I kept running, forcing myself to keep going even though my chest was burning.
I screamed to guardian on duty and he radioed for back up as I turned to face the strigoi. They snarled at me, the fun and games obviously over. Eric stood in front of the other two and advanced towards me. He attacked with a speed that shocked me. Strigoi were fast but Eric was something else. His moves were a blur, every strike hitting it's mark. I screamed in pain as his claw-like nails tore through the top of my right arm and my stake fell to the floor. He struck out again, his claws barely missing my neck as another guardian staked him from behind. Three guardians had come through the gate and descended on the other the strigoi as the guardian that had been on the gate came to me. He picked my stake up and put his other arm around my waist, practically dragging me inside.
He closed the gate behind us and turned to me, a look of a disappointment in his eyes. I recognised him but couldn't remember his name and yet his disappoinment still stung. I had a reputation for being the best guardian around, not just for my age or because I was one of the few females but because I was genuinely one of the best. I'd been a force to be reckoned with before Tasha had shot me and Dimitri had kept me on bed rest for six weeks. I clamped my hand over my shredded arm in an attempt to slow the bleeding and sighed.
"I'll call Belikov." He said quietly.
"No, you won't." I held my bloody hand out and demanded that he give me my stake.
He put my stake in my hand and frowned. "I should really cal Guardian B-"
"Guardian Belikov is not my guardian, he's Lord Ozera's. As Lord Ozera was not here, Guardian Belikov doesn't need to know."
"Yes, Guardian Hathaway." He said, though we both know that he was going to call. I walked away from him, muttering to myself about nosey guardians and went home.

I went in to the apartment and saw Dimitri in the kitchen. He was on the phone as I'd expected. I'd known that the Guardian was going to call him but I'd hoped for a head start. I headed straight in to the bathroom, locking the door behind me, and peeled my jacket off. The sleeve was shredded and I sighed, knowing that I'd have to buy a new one. I pulled my T shirt off and looked at my arm in the mirror, standing in my bra and jeans. I turned the tap on and threw a new wash cloth in to the sink, waiting for the water to warm up.
"Roza?" He banged on the door and shouted my name, the worry clear in his voice. "Roza?"
"I'm fine, Dimitri. Just give me a minute."
"Are you hurt?"
"I'm fine."
"Roza, open the door."
"Dimitri, please-"
"Open the door or I'll break it down."
Normally a show of his god-like strength would have turned me on but in that moment it irritated me. I pulled my bathrobe on, wincing as it resting on my torn skin, and opened the door. "What's so important?"
He looked me over before staring in to my eyes. "Where is it?"
"Where's what?"
"Your injury."
"I told you, I'm fine."
"Then why is there a trail of blood on the floor?" I looked down and saw drops of blood leading from the front door to the bathroom. "Show it to me."
"I'm taking care of it."
"Damn it, Rose! Show me."
I shrugged out of the bathrobe and stood before him in just my bra, which would have usually gained me a look of lust, but he was too busy looking at my shredded arm.
"What happened?"
"Strigoi." I said simply.
"Oh, Roza. What were you doing outside of the wards?"
"I was just, uh, I just needed some space."
"From?"
"Everything." I said with a sigh. "You won't let me train, Lissa's always busy, Adrian's still avoiding me. Eddie has his work and I have nothing."
"You have me." Dimitri said quietly. I could see in his eyes that I'd upset him and I started to feel guilty.
"I know. I didn't mean... I just meant that I don't feel like me. Everything that I worked so hard for is gone."
"You'll get it back, Roza." He pressed his lips to my forehead and took me back in to the bathroom. "Let's get this clean, shall we?"
I nodded and watched as he turned the shower on. He knelt down in front of me and unlaced my boots, slipping them off one by one. My socks followed them and then he unbuttoned my jeans and slid them down my legs. He hooked his fingers in the side of my pants and they followed my jeans. I stepped out them dutifully and watched him as he stood up. His arms went behind my back as he undid the hooks on my bra and pulled it out of my arms, his eyes fixed firmly on my face.
"Dimitri-"
"In you go." He said and helped me in to the shower cubicle.
I stood under the water and watched as he took his shirt and jeans before he stepped in to the shower, still in his black boxer briefs. They did little to hide his lust for me, but they sent a clear message – this was not that kind of shower. Instead, Dimitri positioned me so that my injured arm was directly under the warm water. He murmured Russian words in my ear soothingly when I winced. The water was causing a pleasure-pain reaction in me; it felt amazing on my sore muscles but made my arm sting as it washed away the blood and dirt. I leaned my head against his chest and he wrapped his arms around me in return, resting his cheek on the top of my head.
"What were you doing out there, Roza?"
"Looking for answers." I said quietly.
"Answers to what?"
"Everything. I wanted to be a guardian so badly. I had a plan, my life was going to go a certain way and everything would work out perfectly. Now look at me."
"Roza-"
"Look at me, Dimitri. I'm a mess."
"No, my Roza. You're perfect. We're going to start your training tomorrow."
"We?"
"We." He said and gave me a reassuring squeeze. "We both know that you'll push yourself too much if I'm not there."
I didn't argue with him because he was right. We both knew that I'd go too fast and probably do myself some damage in the process. "Thank you, comrade."
"You have to be sensible about this. And no more going outside of the wards. You're too important to me for me to lose you."
I nodded against his chest and smiled.
"We'll go to Vasilisa when you're clean."
I pulled away from him so quickly that he hadn't been expecting it. "Why?"
"So that she can heal you."
"No. Absolutely not. She's not coming anywhere near me and you aren't going to tell her."
"Roza-"
"No, Dimitri. She's... She's not doing so great without the bond. The darkness is building up inside and she's... We're not going."
"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked, his eyes angry.
"I don't have to tell you everything, comrade."
"You do when it concerns the well being of the Queen." He snapped and got out of the shower, grabbing a towel and leaving the bathroom.
I washed my hair, making sure that the shampoo didn't run down my injured arm and then turn the water off. I wrapped a towel around me, an awkward task with only one working arm and went in to the bedroom. Dimitri wasn't in there, so I dried myself off and got dressed quickly before going to find him.