A/N: Hey everyone! First and foremost comes a very sincere apology for making you all wait this long (and the fact that this chapter is neither good nor long enough to compensate for that). I don't want to make excuses so all I can really say is that no matter how long it takes between chapters, I promise you I will not just abandon this story.
Next comes the warning that this chapter is not as sexy as the previous two, it's more domestic and cute, (*cough*possibly OOC TJeffs *cough*) we begin to understand better the depth of emotion tying our lovers together, and we get to see Polly Jefferson and Kitty Cruger (née Church). I know TJeffs had 2 surviving daughters with his wife as well as the four surviving children of Sally Hemings (who he would have literally just met when Polly came from the USA) but those are being omitted from this chapter, as are the other children of Angelica, just so that the story doesn't get swarmed with kids who won't appear again.
Also, on an entirely different note, the USA election happened, and a lot of my readers are American, so I just want to remind anyone who feels threatened by the result that you deserve to feel safe and secure in the country you call home, and no one has the right to take that away from you. Stay strong, and take care.
Now, thank you so much for your patience! Without further ado, let us commence!
Chapter 7: How do you say "Kiss me" - Part III
Paris, Autumn 1787
Strong winds and smooth seas swiftly and safely delivered the youngest daughter of Thomas Jefferson to the shores of France within six weeks. Of course, the journey also took her at long last to the arms of her doting Father, who was not ashamed to admit that he had fiercely missed the little girl he had left behind in the United States while he took his position in France. In all probability, his heart would have grown to ache at the long separation so much that he would have requested she journey to France to keep him company with or without the influence of the enchantress he had become enamoured with during their time together. The fact that a promise to Angelica had been the very reason he had sent for his daughter was irrelevant to both Jeffersons upon their reunion; all that mattered to one another was to celebrate the glorious way in which parent and child were brought together.
Or at least, that was the case for a few hours, before a maid came to remind Jefferson that a certain guest was due to arrive soon. It was not unusual during those frivolous days when Angelica and Thomas' paths ran so close to one another for the woman to promise a fraction of her evening to her lover (allegedly to check on her dear friend) regardless of her other priorities, or for Thomas to invite her to his residence of a night under the mitigation of requiring her assistance in some political matter, thus their relationship remained relatively private. Although their inordinately frequent visits to one another had the potential to raise several questions, the two intellectuals worked well together, instinctively fabricating excuses for one another before they even informed the other of a desire to meet again, so it struck no one as particularly bizarre that Mrs Church should be scheduled to arrive at the Jefferson household late in the evening.
It was only when he remembered the visitor he had almost forgotten in his ecstasy to be reunited with his child that Thomas, recalling the agreement made in bed over a month ago upon that first morning that he awoke with an enchanting woman sleeping beside him, asked for Mrs Church to be instructed to bring with her any child who was available to attend their meeting.
Hence the occurrence that not even a day after arriving in what was destined to be her home for the next two years, Polly Jefferson was rapidly introduced to her father's lover, and her daughter, aged nine just like she was.
It would have been perfectly natural for a young girl of not even ten years to become overwhelmed by the situation, but ever her Father's daughter, she presented a confident demeanour as she greeted the guests, addressing them as soon as they entered the room where she and Jefferson waited for their companions, "Good evening. My name is Mary Jefferson, though if you are friends of Daddy's, you may call me Polly."
Though relatively surprised by the forward attitude of the child, Angelica held on to her composure as she responded, "It's good to make your acquaintance, Polly, particularly when your Father speaks so highly of you." She glanced to Jefferson, her formality slipping away slightly as she added, "I have waited a long time for this." Not just to meet your daughter, her dark, soulful gaze seemed to convey, but also to judge whether we can be forgiven for our actions by those who matter most to us.
Polly's striking resemblance in character to Jefferson (despite the fact that physically her appearance was more reminiscent of her late Mother) and the way she prioritized his well-being made itself abundantly clear when she replied, "That's very kind, Miss. Only, I hope Daddy doesn't talk about me too much - I think it would make him sad to think about me being left at home, and he should be happy!" The conscientious girl was perhaps wise beyond her years, forced to mature mentally before her age would have indicated she should by the loss of a Mother and four siblings, as well as a prolonged period of separation from her surviving parental figure. Yet it left a smart young woman prepared to place the needs of her loved ones above her own - an endearing quality in anyone, even a little girl, and something the eldest Church woman found she could relate to.
It became clear that Kitty Church, though almost without fail a more careful, reticent girl, was drawn to the newcomer. Typically, she was shy around new people, however it was a testament to how magnetic she found Polly's personality to be that she entered the conversation of her own accord with the coy comment, "Mother says you have had a very long journey."
"This is my daughter, Katherine," Angelica quickly introduced, so as not to give Thomas' daughter opportunity or reason to initiate formalities which she feared could them both to lose interest in the conversation.
Her plan succeeded, and Polly seamlessly replied, "I did! It was horrible, I can tell you all about it if you like." She wrinkled her nose and turned to her Father to add with a hint of plaintive criticism clouding her tone, "I would love to tell you the story over a cup of tea, but Daddy has neither leaves nor a tea urn!"
Kitty giggled, while Angelica noted, "Your father tends to have a preference for coffee. Still, if tea is your drink of choice, I have a lovely tea urn I think you'd like, I should try to find it and send it to you at some point." She sensed the man's gaze glance over her, and she silently began to hope he didn't think her plan to win his daughter's respect was by buying her favour, a small, anxious frown forming on her brow that her lover interpreted as critical.
Thomas blushed, flustered to be seen to be careless when it came to catering to his daughter's whims. Keen to appease her, he insisted, "If tea is what my little girl wants, then tea she will have. Soon enough, I promise I'll have all the tea you could ever wish for!" He declared his final statement with an extravagant flourish as he swept his arms about as if to emphasize the sheer unnecessarily excessive volume he intended to procure for Polly. Angelica giggled, warmed to see how he was so much more light-hearted with his daughter near him.
"Okay, Daddy," Polly agreed. Another idea struck her, and she suggested after a pause, "Instead of tea, then, perhaps Kitty and I could talk while you play your violin?"
Angelica's eyes opened wide, and caught off guard by the revelation about the man she assumed she knew inside out, her surprise was easily identified in her high pitched comment as she remarked, "I never knew you could play violin! You ought to have told me you were a talented musician." She raised an eyebrow, actually criticizing him this time in a gesture he visibly cringed to notice.
Through gritted teeth, he countered, "I'm far from a talented musician. It is simply an old pastime of mine, and one in which I have not indulged for a long time." Please, please, Angelica, don't force me to humiliate myself before you and our children - knowing how easily I become flustered in situations such as this, I can guarantee it won't be a pretty sight. And Polly, for her part, had better not press the matter, he silently decided. A religious man might have gone as far as to pray to be spared from the embarrassing scenario, however Jefferson was not religious, and he relied on the strength of his own willpower to deliver him safely from the precarious situation.
It was not Polly or Angelica who left him with no choice but to reprise his former skills as a violinist, but Kitty, who with the encouragement of a playful smirk from her new friend, shyly mentioned, "I would love to hear some music, especially the violin - it's my favourite."
Seeing her lover's clear reluctance to play and gradually growing sympathetic, Angelica softly began to chastise, "My love, if Mr Jefferson has refused -"
"Don't scold her, please," Jefferson quickly interrupted, more anxious to preserve the happiness of his mistress' child than his own dignity, for he saw that the possibility of sustaining his relationship with the woman he could often forget was even a mother was entirely reliant on whether or not she felt that her children would understand if ever they uncovered the truth. Turning to Kitty, he kindly decided, "I can't promise I will be worthy of your esteem, but I will do all I can to make my newest guest comfortable here." And to subsequently impress her mother, if not with my pitiful lack of talent then with my attempt to win her over.
Angelica couldn't refrain from smiling despite herself as she locked eyes with Jefferson and saw optimistic determination reflected there. She was accustomed to the man who charmed her with his extravagant confidence bordering on arrogance, the same rational and analytical mind she had, and his provocative smirk, and admittedly she found him to be undeniably enticing. And yet, with the young girls he displayed an entirely unique persona, one that was unexpectedly pandering and selfless.
It was new, not to mention unfamiliar, but rather than startling her away, it only drew her further into the fantasy, showing her a depth to his character which made actually being with him seem a genuinely tangible dream.
Despite the swirling mist in her mind which forced her to consider her connection to Jefferson as something more than an illicit but ephemeral affair, Angelica was soon brought out of her trance-like reverie by the soft melody drifting all around her and seeming to engulf her.
She had been oblivious to Thomas' exit and return to the room, but now he had begun to play, all thoughts fled from her mind like birds from their nest at daybreak. She was vaguely aware of Kitty and Polly talking, her daughter cheerfully engaging in conversation with the stranger as comfortably as she would have with her own kin.
That realisation caused the doting mother's heart to swell with pride, and Angelica was consumed with something like bliss as she relaxed and allowed the elegant melodies to carry her soul to ethereal heights.
Conversation between the children turned into games with dolls pulled from trunks and comparisons of embroidery, and all the while Thomas kept playing, too focused on observing the girls to stop, watching enraptured at the interaction between the two children.
His daughter had been lonely, he knew that, and perhaps he should have guessed that Angelica's would be the same, even so it surprised him to see them bonding. Something which caught him off guard even more was that he felt the stirrings of domestic paternity rising within him from the heavy slumber any fatherly instincts of his had slipped into after he sent his elder daughter away to a Catholic school and allowed the other to remain in the States.
Much like his lover, Jefferson himself didn't expect himself to be so struck by a desire to please the children: it confused him, taunting his heart with the bittersweet wish to form a true family instead of the disjointed collection of two of his own estranged young girls, the offspring of his lover and another man, he the preoccupied father and an enchanting married woman he had learned to recognize as his. And yet, no matter how gorgeous the fantasy, or how it seemed to be such an attainable goal in that moment when they were there in the sitting room, there was the uncomfortable truth that the woman who was the key stone in the bridge to his imagined idea was through no fault of her own incapable of allowing it to be anything but an impossible notion.
Why distract from the present with something so disheartening as reality? He prevented his own mind from becoming too wound up in imagined scenarios with a sharp reminder that for the time being, he had all he wanted.
As time passed and light began to fade, the autumn chill infiltrated the house. When Polly yawned, Jefferson ceased his violin playing suddenly to briskly insist, "It's getting late, I think my daughter ought to retire to her room; it has been a long day for her."
"But Daddy!" Polly began to protest as though it was a reflex action that bypassed consideration entirely. "Kitty and I were having so much fun, you can't possibly make me go to bed now." She pouted, and for a heartbeat she seemed the spitting image of her Father when he was displeased. Angelica couldn't contain a peal of laughter as it bubbled up from inside her.
Jefferson glanced to his lover, and placed an affectionate hand on her shoulder. She has been quiet, but I know she is happy. Perhaps I can prolong that... An idea struck Thomas, and he suggested, "I hate to upset my little girl, especially on her first night in her new home. So - if Mrs Church and her daughter consent -" he squeezed Angelica's shoulder, as if informing her that he would accept whatever choice she made, "I would be delighted for them to spend the night here. There's plenty of room, you'd both be very comfortable." Kitty could have her own room beside Polly's, and I already know Angelica has no qualms about sleeping soundly in my bed.
Angelica evidently managed to hide her shock better than her amusement, the only sign displaying how unexpected the offer was being the fact that she forgot to close her mouth after asking her daughter, "What do you think? It's up to you, my love."
Kitty only had to exchange a brief, anxious glance with an enthusiastically nodding Polly before she confirmed with matching excitement, "I'd love that, Mommy! Then we can play together first thing in the morning!"
Angelica breathed a small sigh of relief, though it was scarcely notable. "In that case," she began, her voice hinting at a sultry murmur as the girls immediately resumed their energetic chatter and stopped paying attention to the adults, "It seems we'll be spending the night." Just as Thomas and I had planned. "Why don't you girls go up to bed, while I begin thanking Mr Jefferson for his hospitality?"
Energised by the prospect of their sleepover, the two nine year olds rapidly complied, scampering from the room with Polly saying something about lending her new friend a night dress. Their conversation was of no concern to either adult, because for all the riveting chatter in the world, neither Thomas nor Angelica had any priority other than melting into one another and smashing their lips together the moment their children left the room.
Angelica didn't pull away immediately, allowing her lips to remain pressed against Jefferson's for a few seconds after they stopped moving, and then she dropped her head into the crook of his neck, smiling against the collar of his passe jacket and holding onto him for a minute. Her voice radiated a contentment she rarely expressed, and she breathed a heartfelt, "Thank you."
Her bliss was returned by Thomas, and he ran a hand through her hair as he warmly teased, "Are you not already aware that I'm always willing for you to spend the night with me?"
She shook her head, groaning in feigned irritation as she contradicted, "That's not what I'm talking about, and you know that. I mean, I'm grateful for you making my daughter feel welcome too."
"Yes, I do know," Thomas agreed. He stepped backwards to allow him to meet Angelica's deep, soulful gaze as he educated her on something he himself had only very recently discovered, "There are no thanks required. She's yours, which makes her worth my best efforts to win her over."
The look they shared held a profound gravity, and the couple realized in tandem an idea that had previously only brushed the edges of acknowledgement: their emotional connection to one another was something so much more than physical and intellectual attraction.
Regardless of the ferocity with which their joint understanding hit them, their moment was not destined to last, and a shout from Polly interrupted them.
Apologetic, Jefferson excused himself, "I should really see what she needs. You can make your way to my room."
Angelica nodded, and left the man to tend to his daughter, shedding the many various parts of her dress once she was in the privacy of his bedroom and settling under the quilt, awaiting the man to join her. But as the minutes passed and her patience began to wear thin, she rose again, and donned the wrap she kept on the back of her lover's door in preparation for occasions such as that. Clothed somewhat, she returned to the hallway in search of her man.
It didn't take long to locate him, as she merely had to follow the sound of him talking in a hushed voice to Polly, clearly trying to coax her to sleep. Angelica shook her head fondly, and decided to listen to the sweet exchange.
"I'm glad you're here, sweetheart. I've missed you terribly, and you've missed so much in the time you've spent in the States."
"Like meeting Mrs Church, you mean?" Polly queried. Presumably, Jefferson nodded, because after a pause she continued, "I like her, she seems fairly kind, and she gives the impression of being very worldly and educated by simply sitting there. I hope I can do that some day," Polly remarked wistfully, eliciting a chuckle.
"It's not just an impression - she is incredibly cultured and intelligent, and if you could accumulate half the knowledge she has in your lifetime, I would be an exceptionally proud father," Thomas assured her. "And what of her daughter?"
"She was lovely, it was so nice to be around another young lady like myself again," the girl admitted. She hesitated momentarily before confessing, "You probably think I'm silly, but it almost felt like she could be my sister."
Angelica gasped silently in response. Her heart actually seemed to stop completely when she heard Jefferson muse, "I don't think that's silly at all. In fact, I hope one day she does become like a sister to you."
The Church woman had heard enough to keep her awake all night in the pre-bedtime conversation. She rushed hurriedly back to Jefferson's bedroom, fully aware that she was drastically over-thinking the comment but unable to stop herself even so.
The same questions kept running like a constant mantra through her mind, Our girls could become sisters? Does he just mean they will be close friends? Or is he envisioning a future in which we are married? Has he completely forgotten our situation? She felt a knot of consternation brewing in her stomach as she paced Thomas' bedroom, trying to answer every question in tandem and emerging with a chaotic, nonsensical solution she couldn't actually untangle.
Sweet release from her mental torment came in the form of the door opening. As soon as her lover entered the room, she threw herself into his arms, causing him to back up against the wall as she pushed her body against his in an attempt to lose herself (along with all the thoughts plaguing her mind) by focusing solely on the immense pleasure she knew was just waiting to be unleashed when her lover placed his hands on her body and pushed the single layer of clothing down from her shoulders, revealing her entirely, before carrying her to the bed.
She found the treatment to be effective.
But later that night, when she was curled into Thomas' side and holding his arm in place around her like her own personal blanket, the former Schuyler woman discovered that as opposed to the dreamless slumber she usually fell into, she was instead presented with subconscious images of herself and Jefferson, surrounded by their assorted offspring...
She awoke with a start, before realizing with a twinge of disappointment that it was only a dream.
And yet a part of me longs to have that idyllic life? How did I become one of those women who wishes for that stereotypically placid family life?
Domestic bliss had never really been Angelica's idea of perfection, and the unprecedented change in her personality might have terrified her under other circumstances. But when the very man she had dreamed of sharing a family with was the same one sleeping beside her with a sleepy grin on his lips, she found that she was not scared at all, but filled instead with a cautious, optimistic hope which, though time would prove to be naive and foolish, temporarily soothed her pounding heart.
She pulled Thomas' arm tighter around herself, and returned to her sleep, vowing just as she did so that, should the same image reappear, she would not shy away from it.
A/N: yes I knowwww TJeffs was a massive poo irl. Please forgive me for making him into this strange confused semi domesticated creature man.
Journeys from the US to Europe could take six weeks, but normally it was much longer.
Massive thanks to guest SquidProQuo on your constructive criticism, please know that comments and advice of any kind are always appreciated, I strive to improve so your opinions matter to me!
And again, I am so sorry it's taking me so long to get these chapters up, and unfortunately I have mocks just around the corner so I don't really see that changing any time soon. But nevertheless I am so grateful for your patience with this story! Slowly but surely we are getting there!