From the journal of Dave Strider, The Nineteenth Day of Dark, 67 GR

Note to self: Discipline the bodyguard for getting me fucking smashed yesterday.

I woke up with one hell of a hangover. The whole package. But, without John to help out, I still had to go through with my usual routine. Get out of bed, make sure there's no gross shit building up in my throat, and all that. Same as usual, but with a hangover.

Anyhow, it hit me that I never managed to reach John, so I decided to catch the next train to Coldridge, where John's Dad moved to after we decided to fly the coop and get the hell out of parental Dodge.

...Now that I think about it, we were pretty stupid to do that. I bet we'd be living the high life if we stayed in Coldridge. Living it up as standard-issue businessmen like everyone expected. I'd have a nice, cozy blue collar job with my own desk and my own holotop and a nice, reliable salary and a completed college education. Instead, we moved to Quasar's Wharf and went to college there. I got expelled, and it all snowballed into this massive clusterfuck.

To be real honest, I'm not even sure if I even meant for it to get this big. I ended up on the Skaian news, probably because nothing better was happening, and people started mailing me to pledge their allegiance to the cause It was weird as fuck, and I'm 100% certain some of those letters were people shitting around.

Back to the main point, though. I dragged Karkat onto the 10:00 train, and it sped us onward like a trusty steed. We got to Coldridge at noon, and I still remembered where John lived. Right down to the street number. 413 King's Court. Now, of course, I filled in Karkat. Poor dude. Putting up with all this nonsense. I'm not even sure where his application came from. The envelope was unmarked, but his resumé was solid as fuck, so I hired him. Anyhow, I told him all about John's Dad and what a cool guy he is. Sure, he's got a bad habit of making way too many cakes, but he's a nice guy and he probably wants to kick my ass for assimilating his son into a dangerous revolutionary movement.

Not that he showed that when he answered the door. Nah, he was all manners and hospitality, as fucking usual. He even helped Karkat lift my ass over the three steps leading to their front porch. The standard spiel, too. "How're you?" and "I've been thinking about you lately." All that lovely, flowery bull. It was a nice change from the usual "go get a job, you lazing sack of human filth" that I usually get, and it's not exactly my fault that I'm legally labelled as an unemployable. But, it had to end eventually.

I asked about John, and his Dad informed me that he hasn't seen the slippery shithole in a day or so.

Of course, that's not good. That's super not good. Awful, even.

Panic mode, except I don't really have a panic mode. Shout out to my shitty brother.

Now, John can take care of himself. He might be a giggly dork, but he can do real damage with a good, heavy bludgeoning weapon. Hammers are great. He could probably melee his way through an armored guard with a claw hammer. The real problem is that he's shit at realizing whether people are trying to kill him. Someone could be actively stabbing him, and I'm pretty sure he'd still be chatting them up like some acquaintance from school.

Anyhow, we got back onto the train and I called Rose.

"John's been abducted" is the basic gist of what I told her, and, in her usual Rose way, she reassured me that she knew a person who could help me. Apparently, her girlfriend, Kanaya, is an Alternian-born troll with a background in straight up murdering fuckers for cash. I'm saying that she's a former assassin, and she said she'd be happy to help. Queue the dramatic music as naked winged babies play harps in the clouds. We've got ourselves a saint.

We rode the overnight train to Rose's house. Kanaya was out when we arrived, and she'll be back around noon tomorrow. Until then, Rose has presented me with a better chair, citing the use of a different ride as a possible means of throwing off quick attempts at identification. It's one of the nicer ones, and it's got controls to tilt the chair to relieve pressure on my back and ass. It's also got straps, so that's an improvement. Rose has been breathing down my neck about posture, so that will help. I'm tempted to ask how she got it, but I honestly don't think I want to know.

Hopefully, Karkat will get along with her. I've heard that trolls can get super violent. Some sort of hierarchy based on blood, which sounds pretty damned kinky to me.

I think he will. He seems like a nice guy.

Really, I have to hand it to him. He's a bit of a nosy asshole, and he's loud, but he seems to have his heart in the right place. (I think trolls have hearts.) He's funny enough, and he's not afraid of verbally accosting me like everyone else, which is a plus. He even has moments where he's a pretty big sweetheart. Like, fuck, man. You can't go playing my emotions like a rad guitar. And he seems to be somewhat interested. He asks me about a lot of things, so I think he's trying to figure out how to help out and get involved. It's above and beyond. Pretty neat.

He reminds me of Sollux, except without a lisp and minus the whole "computer wizard" thing. He also doesn't raise bees, so there's that. But he's as involved and personable as Sollux, so he'll probably be earning a spot on the list of best bodyguards. And that's saying a lot, because I've managed to go through some. (They have this bad habit of either being thieves, assholes, or downright creeps.) I mean, sure, they're there to take a bullet for you, but I don't want some silent meat sack. I want to be able to hang out with my bodyguard and not feel awkward as hell, and Karkat succeeds in that respect.

I think I might have asked him out while I was drunk.

I'm not sure.

If not, I definitely should. He seems like a pretty chill guy. Well... Chill in a shouty and vaguely aggressive way.

Another note to self: Pistol low on ammo, need to get more. Big Bob's Bullet Bazaar is having a sale.

From the journal of Dave Strider, The Twentieth Day of Dark, 67 GR

Kanaya and Karkat seem to know each other, and they definitely get along.

Rose said I'm stressed.

I hate to do it, but I have to agree.

The dark season is starting to get to me. It's a bad time for that.