Rose POV

I'd shut myself in the bedroom when Liss and Christian had left but I couldn't settle. I paced back and forth, seething that Liss could be so selfish. She didn't understand what I was going through or how I felt. She didn't care about anything other than herself or her precious wedding. I could feel heart rate increasing as I thought about what she'd said to me and I knew that I had to calm down. I took a deep breath and looked over at the clock and saw that it was only 2am. I had plenty of time before sunrise and I needed to get out.
I felt bad for a moment and as I slipped my boots on because I knew that Dimitri would worry about me and I didn't want that. I just needed some time to be able to get the anger out of my system before I snapped and I didn't want to snap at him. He'd tried his best to be comforting and he'd been giving me plenty of space and he deserve to be the one that I took my anger out on.
I opened the bedroom door slowly and peeked in to the hall. Dimitri wasn't there. He wasn't sitting outside the bedroom door like I'd expected him to be. He wasn't in the living room either, which meant that he was probably still in the kitchen. I tiptoed across the living room carpet and snook out of the door before he even knew that I was there. I'd grabbed my key and my purse off the small table by the door before I left, just in case I needed them.
I nodded to Gavin and Simon as I passed them but didn't stop to talk to them. They'd probably go and check with Dimitri that I was allowed to be out but by then it would be too late. He wouldn't know where to find me because I didn't know where I was going myself. As long as I steered clear of the gym, I had some time before he came for me.
I walked past the small row of shops in the centre of Court and ducked in to one quickly. I bought a bottle of vodka, the Russian kind that Dimitri sometimes drank, and then kept walking. I didn't realise that my feet knew where I needed to be until I was stood outside Adrian's door. Of course, going to Adrian's made sense. He was as messed up as I was, just in different ways. I rang the doorbell and the door opened almost immediately.
"Ah, little dhampir. What a pleasant surprise."
"Adrian."
"Not that I'm not pleased to see you, but why are you here?"
"I came for a drink."
"You don't drink, little dhampir."
"Tonight I do." I said, handing him the bottle. "Are you going to drink with me or not?"
I could see him debating it and he must have decided that letting me drink with him was safer than letting me do it elsewhere. He invited me in and took me to the kitchen. He got two tumblers out and poured two hearty measures before sliding one across the breakfast bar to me.
"Oh." A voice from behind me said. "I didn't realise that you had company."
I turned around and saw Daniella Ivashkov, Adrian's mother, standing in the doorway.
"Hi." I said quietly and picked my glass up and raising in towards in a 'cheers' motion.
"Hello, Rosemarie. It's nice to see you looking so... well." She said. Her tone told me that she knew exactly what had happened to me and really wanted to say 'how nice to see you but I'm a little disappointed that you aren't still covered in bites and bruises or cowering in the corner'. She knew, just like the whole of Court probably did by now.
I nodded, not trusting myself to answer her. I was having a particularly difficult time with biting my tongue. The only reason I managed to not snap at Daniella was because I was too busy drinking vodka that burned my throat on the way down. Adrian was right, I didn't drink. I'd dabbled at the academy and had a drink or two at parties but I wasn't the kind of girl that was used to drinking neat vodka.
"Would you like to join us?" Adrian asked. "We're having vodka."
"Has she eaten yet?" Daniella asked Adrian instead of me. "She's not a seasoned drinker like you are, Adrian. Make sure that she eats."
"I will." He promised.
"Good. I'm going out. I'll be back later." She said and then she was gone.
We sat in silence as I finished one drink and handed Adrian my glass so that he could pour me another. I knocked that one back too, glad that the burning sensation was less intense the more I drank, and Adrian refilled the glass and pulled out his phone.
"Are you calling my Russian jailer?" I asked, my speech already slurred. "I'm sure he'd love to come to my rescue again." I knew that I sounded bitter but at the moment, I didn't care.
"No, I'm calling for pizza. Cheese or pepperoni?" He asked and then shook his head. "I forget who I'm talking to. Hello? Can I place an order please? One large four cheese and one large pepperoni please. Delivery. Adrian Ivashkov. Yes. Thanks."
"Did you just order me two pizzas?"
"Are you telling me that you can't eat two?"
"Well, no but-"
"Then say thank you, shut up and eat them when they get here. Unless you want to be cleaning your own vomit up in the morning."
"Not particularly."
He nodded once. "That's settled then. Are you going to tell me why you're really here or am I supposed to guess?"
"I didn't know where else to go." I said with a shrug.
"Oh please, little dhampir. What you mean is I'm the only one that doesn't treat you like Grandma's china teapot that's being held together with glue and you know that they mean well but you can't take it any more because you're not as damaged as they think you are." He looked at me for a moment. "Or you're afraid that you are as broken as they think you are and you don't want to be around them when you shatter."
"How did you know?" I asked, amazed that he understood. "Was it in my aura?"
"No, aura's don't tell me what a person is thinking. I'm the one that disgraces the Ivashkov name with my spirit induced craziness, remember? I know what it's like when people walk on egg shells around you, afraid that they'll say or do something that'll set you off."
I smiled at him and handed him my glass. "So what do you do to escape it?"
"I drink, I smoke, I party and I sleep with as many people as possible."
"Why?"
"Because everyone is addicted to something that numbs their pain, Rose. Whether it's numbing it completely or replaced the pain with a different sensation." He placed his hand over mine gently. "You just have to find what numbs yours."

Fifteen minutes later there was a knock on the door and Adrian came back from answering it with two large pizza boxes.
He set them down on the counter and opened them with a flourish. "Dig in."
I wasted no time, devouring two slices of pepperoni before coming up for air. "Oh my God. This is amazing."
"Judging by the look on your face, you've just found your thing." He said, watching me intently. "This is the happiest I've seen you in weeks."
I bit in to another slice, the stringy cheese breaking off and dangling down my chin. I licked it up and smiled. "Don't judge me." I said with my mouth full.
"Never." He promised and I knew that he wouldn't.
"You're the only one." I said after I'd swallowed. "Dimitri invited Liss and Christian over for dinner."
"How did that go?"
"They brought pizza. It wasn't as nice as yours."
"That's because I didn't make it myself. I'm assuming that it didn't go well, seeing as you're here."
"Liss asked me to be her maid of honour before... everything. Tonight she told me that I need to make a speech." I took another bite of pizza before I continued. "Which would have been fine two weeks ago."
"And now?"
"And now I can barely stand to be around anyone, never mind being in a room full of people in a pink or purple or turquoise dress, making a speech about how happy I am for them."
"Aren't you?"
"Yes but that isn't the point. I don't want to be with people. I don't want to make small talk or smile or stand around in a pastel coloured dress and pose for photographs with a smile on my face when I all I want to do is scream."
"Did you tell her that?"
"I tried but she turned it in to how she'd do it for me and obviously I wasn't happy enough for her or I'd do it."
"So you didn't actually tell her about the people and the screaming?"
"No."
"Did you tell her about... your time away from Court?"
"No. Dimitri said that she knows that I was taken and held but nothing else. I assumed that someone would have told her."
"Rose, if they've have told then she wouldn't be so insensitive to what you're going through. She's probably trying to cheer you up but doesn't understand that it's more complex than that. If you tell her, she'll get it."
"Do you think so?"
"She's your best friend. She'll understand. You just have to give her the chance to." He said and then stood up and took the bottle away.
"What are you doing with that?"
"With the amount of cheese that you've just consumed, you don't want any more of this. You'll be thanking me tomorrow. Plus, you're getting angry and I don't want to get my ass kicked."
"I'm in no place to be kicking any asses, Adrian. You're okay."
"Are you, though?" He asked, tilting his head to the right slightly as he regarded me. "There's fear in your aura."
"I'm fine."
"Your aura tells me otherwise."
"I'm just tired. I've been having these dreams. It's nothing."
"If it's bothering you then it's something. Tell me about it." He said, sitting back down and pouring me another drink.