I know it's been forever, but get this:

I have a life. And this cahpter is pretty long.

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BPOV

Wait a second.

This is NOT right.

Edward plus Bella equals NOTHING.

Absolutely, positively nothing.

Right?

"Cullen. What was said in this room stays in this room. Are we clear?" I growled, shaking his arms off me.

Who am I kidding? Like everyone else didn't hear me.

"Hmm? Oh, okay. Whatever." He replied.

"I see you're back to your old dead self." I smirked.

"Ya. Bye." He answered, racing out of the living room.

"Bella?"

"Yes, Alice?" I sighed.

"Can we go shopping?" She pleaded.

"Bu-"

She gave me the puppy-dog look.

And I'm not just talking about a puppy-dog look, but THE puppy-dog look.

"Fine." I sighed.

"Great! Oh, ya. Edward, Emmett, and Jasper are coming along." She skipped away.

Oh, wonderful.

Shopping with the boys.

And the shopping began.

"Hmm…let's hit Abercrombie and Fitch!" Alice squealed.

Ugh. We have, hmm, 10 shopping bags?

Each.

"Guys, can we hit the Food Court?" I asked.

"Ha ha. Very funny, Bella. Why would we do that?" Rosalie smirked.

"Well, it would be nice to act normal. FOR ONCE. Plus, there are some really cute guys there." I joked.

"We have boyfriends, remember?" Alice stopped.

"Which are waiting at the Food Court." Rosalie pointed out.

"HA! I was just kidding, but besides, what about me?" I pouted.

"But you have E-," Alice began.

"ALICE!" Rosalie and I shouted.

"Right. Don't believe me." She smirked.

"Anyway, we have to unload." I giggled, walking toward the Food Court.

EPOV

As we sat there, waiting, I wondered why Alice had dragged m-us along,

They can carry their shopping bags.

In fact, each of them could carry a car!

"Ugh. Girls." I shook my head.

A blonde came walking over to us, shaking her hips.

"Yuck. Incoming." I muttered silently.

Jasper and Emmett looked up, only to look back down again.

"Hey, boys." The blonde giggled.

No response.

"Any dates?" She asked.

No response.

"Want a date?"

NO response.

"Um…ya. Our girlfriends are coming right towards us." Jasper answered.

Just then, we watched as the girl gaped at Bella, Alice, and Rosalie's beauty.

"So…how's it going, guys?" Alice questioned, staring at the blonde out of the corner of her eye.

"Fine." Edward replied.

"Anyone? My offer still stands. I'm Mary, by the way." The blonde smirked, staring at us.

Rosalie dropped her bags and sat down on Emmett's lap, and Alice copied her movements with Jasper. That left Bella standing there, and…

Mary's eyes settled on me.

"So?" She questioned me.

I turned toward Bella, mouthing the words "Help me", out of the corner of my mouth,

"Fine, but you owe me…BIG TIME." Bella answered in vampire speeded talk.

"Nope. He's MINE." Bella sat down on my lap, and my arms wrapped around her waist.

"Are you sure?" Mary smirked.

Ugh.

I hate blondes…

And that SOMETIMES included Rosalie.

Emphasis on the 'SOMETIMES'.

I stared at Bella, hoping to warn her of what was coming.

She seemed to feel me tense, and turned around, and I…

Kissed her.

That sent the blonde off, and with a small whimper, she was gone.

Once the blonde was out of my sight, and that sure took awhile, Bella and I stopped kissing,

"Enjoy yourself?" Emmett smirked.

"How many houses did you and Rosalie DESTROY, Emmett?" I grinned back.

He stopped and looked down.

"Three. And a ½." He murmured.

That sent us all into laughing fits.

As we walked out of the store, I watched as men gaped at the three girls before us, and I growled.

That was the 153rd time a guy has thought about Bella like-like…

UGH!!!

Once thing was for sure.

If my hands were free, I would've killed them.

ALL of them.

Every last one of those freakin' 153 PERVERTS!!!

BPOV

I heard Edward growl at several men, but shook it off.

When he growled for the second time, I turned around.

"Those 33 bags a little too heavy for you?" I smirked.

"Shut up." He muttered.

"Whatever but stopped growling." I turned around, and stalked out, toward Emmett's colossal Jeep.

"I'll drive." I grinned cheekily.

"Oh NO you WILL NOT!!!" Emmett nearly screamed.

"What? Too afraid that I'll break your little oil guzzling baby with my speed?" I laughed.

Rosalie glared at him, and he gave up.

"Fine, but if there's one scratch on my Jeep, I will kill you." He warned.

"SHOTGUN!" Alice squealed.

I laughed, and Emmett handed the keys over.

"Thanks. Now get in the back, before I leave you behind!" I yelled, running to the front seat.

Alice hopped in front, and Rosalie and Jasper in the very back, with Emmett and Edward in the middle.

"Here we go!" I turned on the engine, and listened to it roar to life.

"The purr of your engine sucks, Emmett. Has Rosalie checked it lately?" I asked.

"Oh. Just shut up and DRIVE!" He yelled.

"Fine, fine. Don't go all PMS-y." I laughed.

"Ugh. Bella, for one, I'm a guy. And two, vampire's don't PMS." Emmett pointed out defensively.

"No freaking DUH. I was just kidding. And you call yourself FUNNY?" I responded.

What can I say?

Reflex comebacks!!!

"Do I really have to say it again?" He sighed,

"Say what?" I asked innocently.

"Shut up and drive. BEFORE I slap you, then tie you to a chair in a cold room, slap you some more, play all of the Barney episodes AGAIN and AGAIN, and then kill you when they're done." He replied.

"Ooh. I'm SOOO scared."

But I started the engine anyway.

Because, to tell you the truth, I was seriously freaking afraid of Barney.

I'm not scared of a no doubt 35 pound muscle vampire man threatening me, but I'm afraid of a guy in a cheap purple and green spotted dinosaur suit who sings stupid songs and is no doubt the reason why the dinosaurs went extinct.

Real nice.

"Admit it, you're afraid of Barney!" Emmett sang.

"Edward? Remember how you owed me?" I sighed, increasing my speed to 150 mph.

EPOV

"Edward? Remember how you owed me?" Bella sighed, increasing our speed.

Well, she drives wicked fast.

"Ya." I answered.

"Good. Slap Emmett for me. And Jasper?"

"Yes?" He asked.

"Make Emmett kiss my feet when we get home. Please?" She asked.

"My pleasure." He answered.

I turned to Emmett, and he looked horrified.

But then he smoothed out his emotions, and yelled.

"Please! Someone help me! There's a emotion boy over here and a Bronze monkey threatening to slap me! SOMEBODY HELP!!!"

With that, the car made a sharp left, and Bella parked.

She then proceeded to climb over the cup holder, into my lap, and slapped Emmett.

HARD.

And then I slapped him.

And Jasper, Rosalie, AND Alice copied us.

Until Emmett opened his door and jumped out.

And Bella followed.

They were running at human speed, but Bella quickly caught up to him and jumped onto his back.

He dropped onto the ground like a rock.

"Ouch! She tackled him!" Jasper whistled.

We walked over to the two, and saw all the people stop dead in their tracks to watch them.

I bet they're wondering how a 5'2 110 pound girl tackled and then brought down a 6'5 350 pound muscle man.

I'd be doing the exact same thing.

We walked over, and Emmett was on his back, with one of Bella's 5 inch heeled blood-red high-heeled shoes against Emmett's throat.

She then knelt down and whispered, "Say that one more time, and I won't hesitate to kill you."

With that, she stood up, and offered him a hand.

"Wow. Total déjà vu." I muttered, and everyone stared at me,

"Watch. Alice will know." I replied.

And Alice nodded in reply, too taken in by the scene.

As Emmett took Bella's hand, oblivious to what was coming from the totally not innocent Bella, she put some extra strength into it.

Not sending him flying through the parking lot (like she did to me), probably due to the audience of humans gaping.

So, he was taken off balance and fell forward, onto his knees.

With that, she stalked away, her heels clicking along the way.

We all laughed, and life resumed to the way it was, after several whistles and a lot of clapping from our human viewers.

"Emmett got beaten by a girl!!!" Jasper sang, while Bella laughed.

She stopped laughing.

Alice's eyes lowered.

Rosalie gasped.

"Did you just-just…UGH!" Bella screamed, infuriated.

"Bella, Alice, Rosalie, let me handle this." I answered.

I reached behind me, and slapped Jasper across the face.

"Thanks, Edward." Bella replied, turning the engine back on.

Wow.

She said…thanks?!

"You're welcome." I said, unsurely.

After about twenty minutes, we were home, due to Bella's fast driving.

She jumped out, and when I did, a devilish smile spread across her beautiful face,

"You know, Edward…" Se began.

"What?" I began to back away from her approaching figure.

She came up to me, and leaned her face into mine.

She closed her eyes, and I did the same.

Just when I was prepared for her kiss, I felt a slap.

She SLAPPED me!!!

"Wha-" I began.

"You where the only one of the guys who DIDN'T get slapped." She shrugged.

"Why you-" I began, but she took off running, laughing like a maniac.

I chased after her, and begin the fastest one in the family, finally caught up with her, and tackled her to the ground,

I then realized that we were in the small meadow, where some light came in.

'Wow…this is beautiful." She sighed.

"I know." But instead of looking at the view, I looked at her.

"We should head back." She stated.

"We should." I repeated.

"Ya." She breathed.

But when she got up, I pulled her back down, and kissed her.

"Let's go." She tore her lips off of mine, and we ran away.

"Oh, Edward?" She asked.

"Yes, Bella?" I answered.

She stopped, reached out, and slapped me.

"THAT's for kissing me. And, that kiss doesn't leave this forest. Got it?" She laughed.

"Okay, Bella." I laughed along with her, and we ran back into the house.

I hoped you liked it, and there will be another chapter up soon. BUT, I want 5 review first.

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This is the only way I can think of to get reviews out of you people.

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Rae