IMPORTANT NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR (PLEASE READ):
If you read this story before, you will remember that the chapters alternate between Usagi's and Mamoru's points of view. Therefore, we turn to Mamoru now.
When I reread this story, I realized how I wanted to change Mamoru's personality a little. My idea of who he is (in this story) has altered. I don't know if others will appreciate the changes I have made, but I like them. Conversations and situations from this point on are slightly different as well. I hope you enjoy the changes as much as I do. I apologize for any grammatical errors, but I am accepting of the fact that I am not a professional writer; I am simply a huge fan girl.
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Crossroads in Life
Written by Princess Kayla
Inspired by Naoko Takeuchi's "Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon"
Chapter Two
View from a Rose
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As I listened to the sounds of the night, the whispering wind brought reality to my loneliness. There was nowhere to go, no one to talk to. Even though I walked among a busy street, I was alone, wandering aimlessly on my way home. I'm not sure if I should have classified my apartment as a 'home.' Homes were full of warmth, while mine was cold and sterile. I had not lived in Tokyo long, so I hoped I just needed to give it time; eventually, things would be different. I lied to myself.
I never had a real home and never would, but I could pretend that I did. I could pretend to enjoy school and have friends. Maybe the longer I pretended, the easier it would become. The only real thing in my life was the confusing emotions caused by that silly dumpling-headed girl from school.
Usagi Tsukino - I didn't understand why my thoughts were obstructed when I was around her. It started that first day when I looked down at the top of her head - hair up in that strange style. I picked up her test, noticed the bad grade, and pitied her. Then she looked up at me with the brightest blue eyes that I had ever seen. I saw innocence in her eyes that I had never seen in my own. It startled me and, suddenly, I felt uncomfortable and spit out that awkward statement, 'I hope I didn't add to the damage.' I surprised her and caused her face to turn a bright red. I immediately regretted it and tried to brush it off with a 'Don't take it personally, Dumpling Head' as I awkwardly touched a strand of her golden hair. As I walked away from her, I knew my face was red as well. I had never acted that way before and didn't know why.
The uncomfortable comments continued when I saw the bright girl at the Crown. I appreciated Motoki's help around school, but I didn't anticipate that he would know Dumpling Head. So, when I saw her at the cafe, I let the odd dialogue continue. I got to the point where I finally got out of there and determined that I would avoid that girl however I could.
Well, fate, annoyingly, stepped in and, of all of the students in school, Dumpling Head was the one I was required to tutor. From the look on her face that first day, I knew she dreaded the situation as much as I did. I knew that I had to keep focus on walking her through her studies, so the sessions were pretty black and white, no extra exchange of words. At the end of every session, I left with relief. But, then fate showed up again.
For years, the direction of my life was pretty much set in stone. I was going to go into business. I tried to convince myself that I was meant to be a part of that world, but sometimes the desire felt forced. There was another desire that I needed to hide within myself because of commitments already made. Instead, I was interested in the medical world. In order to pacify that interest, I decided to volunteer at the hospital. Remarkably, the person who was meant to instruct me on the position was none other than Dumpling Head. I tried not to chat too much there either. Instead, I quietly observed, and what I saw was surprising. When she spoke with that old man, who was missing his wife, her sincerity and care was overwhelming. I watched it all.
After that, I began noticing her around school more. I didn't think she noticed me. It was interesting how she would walk up to someone and smiles would appear. She laughed a lot, especially around that blond friend of hers - Minako. It confused me when I would feel a smile at the corner of my mouth - a smile that was not forced. I had a feeling of anxiety when I saw her so I tried to distract myself by being around other. I didn't like it, though, and struggled to interest in my peers. Honestly, the only name I remembered was Motoki's.
Then, the incident occurred. Damn, fate. Of course, at just the right moment, a fly ball of mine went straight towards her and hit her right between those silly hair buns. I was embarrassed and knew the best way to cover it was through sarcasm, but I didn't expect that sarcasm to backfire like it did. She was mad. Those bright eyes had narrowed at me in a way that made me falter. I had to swallow down my nerves as I tried to end the conversation and get away. Something that I said, though, brought on a startling attack. At first I let her spit the angry words at me, but when she made that one comment...'I bet your own parents don't care about you,' I felt a sting so deep that an emotion buried within me rushed back to the surface. What was once sarcasm turned into harsh verbal assaults - the words left a horrible aftertaste as I remembered her tearful form running away.
I left school defeated by my own actions. I made a young girl cry; I was a disgrace. I knew I needed to apologize even though my body told me to run as far away as I could. I fought against my instincts and went to the Crown, wondering if she would be there. She wasn't, but her friend was. The look on her friend's face was one of anger and pity. We didn't exchange any words, and after a few moments, she left the cafe. I could not tell if Motoki wanted me there or not. I quickly realized that Dumpling Head was one of his good friends as well, which made my visit very uncomfortable. Following some meaningless small talk, I said 'goodbye,' and went on my way.
After walking a little ways towards my apartment, I noticed pleasing smells from a nearby street vender, which triggered a discomfort in my stomach; I was hungry. Sighing, I crossed the street to the stall, ordered a hot sandwich, and paid. Unwrapping my meal, I decided to lean against a close wall as I ate. The lights on the lampposts flickered on. I watched people pass by, probably heading home for dinner with their families. I wondered if Dumpling Head was having dinner with her family. I wondered if her parents noticed the tears he had caused. Looking down at my half eaten sandwich, my appetite seemed to slip away. I felt no satisfaction from the food anymore.
Suddenly, the loud sounds of a car horn grabbed my attention. I looked up to see a car racing towards a girl in the street in front of me. All the hairs on my body stiffened; Dumpling Head was frozen in the middle of the road. It didn't make sense; she didn't move. Instincts took over. My sandwich dropped out of my hands as I pushed myself forward to get as much speed as possible. I ran as swiftly as my feet would carry me, throwing my arms out in front of me. The lights were getting brighter; my lungs constricted. 'Please...let me reach her!' my thoughts screamed.
The car sped past just as I took hold of her and threw us both out of its path. My skin scraped across the pavement as we rolled to safety. Eventually, we came to a rest. I worried as I looked upon her closed eyes; I had done my best to keep my hands cradled behind her head as we fell. My breath was ragged from the terrifying jolt of energy; I tried to slow my heart.
"Are you okay?!" ... "Someone call a doctor?!" ... "Can you believe that the driver didn't even stop?!" Many voices surrounded us.
Finally, her eyes blinked open revealing the emotions of pain, confusion and then shock. "Am I dead?" she asked softly.
Relief washed over me. "No, you're not. Can you tell me where you're hurt?"
She looked around for a couple of moments and said; "I can't feel anything with you on top of me."
My face grew hot as I realized that I had her pinned to the asphalt. I gently let go of her head and moved away from her. She began to get up, but I tried to stop her, "First, before you move, tell me if anything hurts."
"I'm fine." She looked around at the people gathered near, "Everyone, we're okay. Don't worry." The crowd slowly dissipated. She then tried to get up and squeaked in pain. She pulled her arm close to her, but I could still see some blood slipping down it.
Carefully, I reached out for it, "Let me see." In fear, she pulled away, but I knew I had to see it, "If you don't show it to me, I'll have to make you and that could add more pain. Now do you want that?" She hesitated, shook her head, and slowly extended her arm. By the rays of the streetlight I could see it was scraped with a few pieces of concrete and dirt in the wound. "We should clean this before it gets infected." I stood up and pointed above to the building near us, "I live up there. I have a first aid kit...so come on." I could see the hesitation in her eyes. I sighed, "Really, come on."
She looked from the building to me and then to her arm. Nodding, she pulled herself to her feet. She swayed back and forth with dizziness, so I grabbed her shoulders to steady her. "Are you all right?" I questioned.
"I'm fine; just got up too fast," she regained control and balanced herself with my arm, "Thank you." Giving a short smile, I led her into the building.
. . .
"Now this is going to sting," I said as I began to rub the medicine into the wound. She tensed as the medication seeped into her skin. Slowly, she began to relax as I continued with the process. Placing the bandage over it, I closed the first aid kit, "All done."
"Wait," she stopped me, carefully taking my hands, "Look." She turned them over to reveal my very scraped up knuckles. It must have occurred as I shielded her head from the impact of the street. "You're hurt too." She then pointed at my knee; my pants were ripped and blood was seeping through the fabric.
"It's not bad," I shrugged off the pain. Honestly, I hadn't even noticed it until she pointed it out.
She disagreed, "It is bad. You need to clean those scraps too; to prevent infection, right?" She had me there.
I groaned, "Okay. I will be back in a few minutes. Feel free to whatever you want in the kitchen." I took the first aid kit and went into my restroom. Locking the door, I took off my pants and inspected my knee; it wasn't horrible, but I could see the dirt in it. I rinsed it off and cleaned it with alcohol. After bandaging it, I went to my hands. My knuckles were badly scraped. I cleaned them as well and did my best to wrap them up in dressings. Once the wounds were cared for, I grabbed my lounge pants from on top of the laundry basket, slipped them on, and went back out to the living area.
Looking around, I found her standing in the kitchen with a glass of water - just standing there. She wasn't drinking it. She just starred off into space while holding it in her hand. "Hey," I asked, "what's wrong?"
She jumped and dropped the glass. It shattered on the kitchen tile. Immediately, her face was covered in despair. "Oh, no! I am so sorry!" she shouted as she went to the floor to pick up the pieces.
"Wait!" I yelled at her, "You'll cut yourself!" I hurried to the kitchen and grabbed a towel from the counter. Lowering myself to the ground, I winced; my joints were starting to hurt. Biting back some curse words, I started wiping up the mess. "Wow, accidents follow you." The cleaning of the floor stopped as I noticed drops of water falling from above. I looked up to see silent tears running down her cheeks. I quickly stood up, "Look, don't cry. I have several other cups."
She shook her head and covered her face with her hands. Muffled, she sobbed, "I don't know why I couldn't move. It was like I was glued to the ground." Unsure of the situation, I simply rested my hand on her shoulder. Dropping her hands, she slowly glanced at mine. She took my hand and gently ran her fingers over the bandages on my knuckles, "If it weren't for you, I'd be dead." Her eyes met mine, "I'm so sorry, Mamoru."
"I couldn't let that car hit you," I stated.
"No. Not just that," she whispered, "I'm sorry about those things I said at school."
My eyes widened. She was apologizing. After a couple of moments, I took my hand from her and replied, "No, I am sorry. I provoked the whole thing." Stepping away, I found myself unable to meet her gaze, "I don't know why, but I can't control my tongue around you. It's irritating."
Quietly, she admitted, "I have the same problem. You make me uncomfortable and...insecure." We both remained silent for what felt like eternity. Then, I heard footsteps. She came in front of me and held out her hand. There rested a bracelet with little tiny rabbits, roses and moons. "Thank you for saving my life. Please take this. This is my white flag; I don't want to fight anymore." I closed my hand around the bracelet and met her eyes. She smiled a sweet smile, "And, if you don't mind, my name is Usagi."
The clock on my wall chimed eight, and Usagi bowed her head, "I'm so sorry, but I have to go home. I didn't tell my parents where I was going and it's gotten late. I'm sorry you got hurt and for breaking your glass." She frowned deeply, "Please, I hope we can talk again soon." Gradually, I nodded and walked her to the door. "See you soon."
"Okay, goodnight. Be careful," I told her. She smiled again, waved and left. As I shut the door, I contemplated of the bracelet in my hand. It seemed like a silly thing to give a guy, but I imagined that it meant a great deal to her.
My phone rang. I tucked the bracelet into my pocket and went to pick up my phone off the table. "Hello?"
"Mamoru." My eyes widen at recognition of the voice on the other end. "How have you been getting along?"
"I'm doing well, Sir."
"I apologize for not touching bases with you sooner. You understand how my schedule can be. All of the paperwork should have been faxed to the school. Were there any problems?" the older voice asked in a business tone.
"No, Sir. I was able to enroll easily," I said.
"I know it is difficult being uprooted so abruptly and thrown into a different environment, but this will be good for you," he explained, "My father did this for me, and I believe it did much to prepare me for my life and career today. It helped me to build character and understand the importance of sticking to my responsibilities and keeping my priorities straight. The same will happen for you."
"Yes, Sir," I agreed.
"How are you handling the rent for your apartment?"
I looked around the room, "The payment is quite reasonable and due the first of each month."
"But, are you able to make the payment?"
"Yes, Sir. I've been doing some odd end jobs while I've been getting settled, but I am looking for a steadier job that I can work with around school hours." I chose my words carefully.
"Just remember to manage work and school successfully, Mamoru."
I was beginning to get annoyed, "Of course, Sir."
"You must prove yourself to…"
"I understand, Sir," I bit my tongue, knowing my annoyance was seeping into my tone.
"Very well then, I will call again in a few weeks."
"Yes, Sir." Our call ended, so I headed into my bedroom and fell back onto the bed. Instantly, I felt my back muscles tense; I was going to be sore in the morning. But, it was worth it. She was alive. I breathed a sigh and exhaustion took over me. As I closed my eyes, my thoughts chased one another. I thought about many things, but mostly I thought about those bright blue eyes.
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The day after, school went slowly, but once school was out, I decided to visit the Crown. Behind the counter, Motoki hummed to a tune only he could hear. He had been so helpful since I met him at school, but I needed another favor. He noticed me and waved, "Hey, how's your day going?"
"Okay, I guess." I sat down on one of the bar stools. I wondered if he heard about last night.
"Whoa, what happened to your hands?" Motoki looked startled, and I realized that he must have not talked to Usagi yet. I was thankful for that.
"Just fell on my way home last night," I lied.
He shook his head in sympathy, "Oh man. That stinks."
"Yeah. Things happened." Changing the subject, I pointed to the sign behind the counter. 'Now hiring,' it read. "I am looking for a job. You think I could apply?"
"Sure," he grabbed a paper and started to hand it to me. He ran a hand through his hair, "Listen, I try to stay out of drama, but Usagi is like a sister to me. I don't know what to think about that fight you had, but I can't help but be on her side."
I nodded, "It's okay, Motoki. I understand. I want you to know, I did talk to her last night."
"Oh," he was surprised, "Is everything okay?"
"I think so," I replied.
"Okay," he handed me the form.
Suddenly, the door opened, and I heard giggling heading towards us. Turning to see who had entered, I swallowed at the sight of the two blond headed girls. Usagi stopped in her tracks, and I watched as she also swallowed. Taking in a deep breath, she made her way to the counter. She plastered a smile on her face and greeted, "Hi, Motoki!" Then, surprisingly, she smiled at me, "Hi, Mamoru."
Struggling to find my voice, I replied a simple, "Hey."
"We're not tutoring until Wednesday, right?" she asked, trying to make small talk.
"Yeah," I replied. Next, came unbearable silence. I felt ridiculous. It was like I didn't know how to communicate at all.
Usagi's friend came to the rescue. "Moto, has Usagi told you how well she has been doing in English since Mamoru began tutoring her?" she asked Motoki as she leaned over the counter. Quickly, she smiled at me and stuck out her hand to shake mine, "I'm Minako Aino by the way." I shook her hand in acknowledgment. "Thanks for taking care of my best friend last night," she said with a bigger smile.
"Hey, Usagi," Motoki pointed to her bandaged arm, "What happened to you?"
Usagi smiled, "I almost got hit by a car last night, but Mamoru pushed me out of the way. We landed on the ground, and I hurt my arm."
Motoki's eyes widened, "Wow, Mamoru! So that's what really happened to your hands?"
I shrugged, trying to move past the conversation, but Usagi added, "It was really amazing. I will be eternally thankful."
"So will I," Minako hugged Usagi tightly, "I couldn't imagine my life without this crazy girl!"
"Mina!" Usagi tried to squirm free, "Too tight!"
Minako laughed loudly and let go, "Fine, fine!" She directed her attention at Motoki, "Hey, Moto, what time should I be ready?" His face instantly turned red.
"What?" Usagi was obviously confused, "Where are you going?"
Motoki scratched his head, trying to find words, but Minako didn't delay. "Moto asked me out," she said transparently. It was clear that she wasn't a shy girl like Usagi.
"A date!" Usagi squealed, "Why didn't you tell me?"
"He called me last night," Minako grinned, "And I am very excited." The red on Motoki's face darkened. "Why don't you pick me up around 6:00?" she told him, and he agreed.
"Mina! Don't be so forceful!" Usagi scolded with her hands on her hips. Something about her pose and the situation in general seemed humorous to me. Before I knew it, a light laugh escaped my lips. Usagi looked right at me and smiled, " I have never heard you laugh before. It's nice." This time I knew the red had come to my cheeks; I tried to avoid her eyes.
Minako grabbed Usagi's hand, "Come on, and help me pick out an outfit." She waved brightly at Motoki, "I will see you tonight!"
Usagi waved as well, "Bye, Motoki!" Before Minako could pull her away, Usagi looked intently at me, "Bye, Mamoru. I hope you have a great rest of the day."
"You too," I replied. She smiled and followed Minako out the door.
"Oh, man!" Motoki laughed clumsily, "Mina is going to keep me on my toes." I agreed, but my thoughts were actually focused on the bracelet that rested in my pocket. I don't know why, but I wanted to keep it with me.
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Church bells rang as I walked down the street by the cathedral. I watched as happy families left Sunday service. I knew I shouldn't have, but I skipped hospital volunteering the day before. The idea of going made me uncomfortable, so I avoided it. I sighed and kicked a rock in my path as I made my way into Tokyo Park. Stepping towards the rail surrounding the crystal-clear lake was like stepping into another world. The sun cast a heavenly shimmer across the sky reflected water. The smell of roses from nearby bushes engulfed my senses. The week I moved here, I explored and found this park. It became a sanctuary to me.
Taking in a deep breath, I headed to sit on the bench by the roses. It was the perfect place to enjoy the view of the lake. Yet, before I could sit, a sound caught my ears. It was a weak cry and almost inaudible. Luckily, I was able to trace it to a box next to some trashcans. Bending down, I opened the box to reveal a rather small black kitten. "Who would just leave you here?" I asked as I carefully lifted it out of the box. "Did no one want you...um..." I did a quick check, "little girl?"
The kitten looked up at me with depressed eyes and I felt sorry for it. I didn't know what to do with her, though, "Sorry, girl, but I don't know anything about cats and I can't have one in my apartment - no pets allowed." The little creature seemed to sigh, and I smirked, "But, maybe someone else can help." I pulled out my phone and dialed Motoki's number.
"Hello?" he answered.
"Hey, Motoki, it's Mamoru."
"Hey!" His voice became distant like talking to someone else, "It's Mamoru." His attention turned back to me, "What are you up to?"
Hesitant, I said, "Actually, I have a question."
"Okay, shoot."
"Do you know where I can take a homeless kitten?" I asked.
"A kitten? No, I don't. Why?"
I explained, "I found one, and I'm not sure what to do with it."
"He says he found a kitten," Motoki spoke distantly again, causing me to raise an eyebrow.
"Tell him not to take it to the pound! The poor thing would probably be destroyed there!" I could hear a feminine voice in the background.
"Okay. Mamoru, don't take it to the pound," Motoki stated like under an order.
"Well, what should I do with it? I can't have an animal in my apartment," I clarified.
"Well, Minako has a cat. Maybe you should go see..."
"Wait, tell him..." The voice came again, but this time it was too muffled to hear.
"Never mind," Motoki popped back in after a moment, "Minako is...out with her family for...um...Sunday brunch. Yeah, won't be back until late." I rolled my eyes as the obvious lie. "But, hey, Usagi loves animals, especially cats! I bet she would be a lot of help. I can give you her address."
"No," I disagreed, "I don't want to bother her with this."
"You won't be bothering her," he said. "I'm sure she would love for you to go to her."
Going to Usagi's was the last thing that I wanted to do, but as I looked down at the kitten's brown eyes, something told me to ask Usagi for help. "Okay, what is her address?"
. . .
For the sixth time, my hand moved slowly, finger extended, towards the white button, and, quickly, like there was an unseen plague, fell back down to my side. A sigh came from the fur-ball that rested in my arms waiting. "Don't look at me like that. If anyone is going to say how stupid this looks, it's going to be me, and I'm not saying that." I shook my head at the thought of how ridiculous I must have looked talking to a cat. 'She's probably not even home,' I thought as I turned around. "I think I should try somewhere else," I said as I walked down the front path.
"Mamoru?"
Feet stopping, my eyes widened. Taking a deep breath, I turned around. Confusion claimed me as I saw the door as silent as I had left. "Great, first comes talking to myself and next hearing voices."
"Mamoru, it is you." Looking up, my mouth dropped slightly at the surprised Usagi who stared down at me from a small balcony. "Hey...um...what are you doing here?"
"Hi," I coughed out, "Um...Motoki thought you could help me, but it's probably a bad time. I should've called."
I began to leave, but she stopped me, "Wait! The timing's fine; I'll be right down." She disappeared from my sight, and I could here some footsteps hurrying from inside. Suddenly, the door swung open. "So, what can I help you with?" Holding up the kitten, I gave a shrug. A smile lit her face and she took the kitten from my hands. "It's so cute! Is it yours?"
Shaking my head, I answered, "No, I found her in the park. I don't really know anything about cats, though."
"So, you came here?" she asked curiously.
"Well, Motoki said that you really liked cats," I explained.
"So does Mina. In fact, she has a kitten," she stated.
"Yeah, I know, but Motoki said she was out to brunch with her family."
"Brunch with her family?" she questioned, "Mina's at Motoki's house for lunch."
"Oh." Of course, she was; it couldn't have been more obvious when I was on the phone with Motoki. I questioned myself silently, 'Yet, if I knew that, why did I still want to come to Usagi's house?' I sighed, "Look, I'm sorry if I bothered you."
"No," she shook her head, "You're not bothering me. I was just curious why you came here." She smiled, "Would you like to come in?"
"That's okay. I don't want to inconvenience you and your family."
"Oh, don't worry. Everybody had places to be, except me. I'd like the company, too," she motioned inside, "Come on in. My mom made some of her special lemon pie this morning and there's plenty to share. Would you like some?"
My mind said 'no', but my stomach disagreed. I couldn't stop my feet from moving me inside, "Okay, thank you."
"You can have a seat in the living room while I get us the pie. Could you watch the kitten?" I nodded and she handed her to me, "Thanks, I don't want it running off since it just got here."
I nodded and took a seat on the sofa as she disappeared into the kitchen. Looking around the room, I noticed the homey aspect it possessed that my apartment did not. I frowned at the thought. My eyes stopped on a picture sitting in a frame on the coffee table. Picking it up, I looked at the photo; within a warm moment was captured. Closely together, Usagi, an older man and woman, and a young boy stood. They all were smiling brightly in the sun.
"Okay, here you go!" Usagi reentered the room with a tray that held two glasses, a bowl of milk, and two servings of the lemon pie. She set it on the table and took the kitten from me to set her on the floor with the bowl. Hungrily, the kitten began to lick the white creamy substance with her tongue. Usagi sat down next to me and handed me my piece, "Mom makes the best lemon pie ever!"
I set the frame back in its spot and took the plate thankfully. Taking the fork, I cut a bite off. Usagi watched intently as I tasted it. My eyes widened; she was right, the pie was wonderful. "It's very good."
"See, I told you!" When we had finished our helpings, Usagi placed the kitten in her lap and petted her until she was fast asleep. "So, did you give it a name?"
I shook my head, "No, she's not mine. I can't keep her at my apartment." Shrugging, I asked, "Do you think you would want her?"
"Oh, it's a girl?" She grinned as I nodded. "I would love to keep her. My mom loves cats as much as I do, so I could probably talk her into it. Then, hopefully, she can convince my dad." Thought covered her face as she ran her hand over the kitten's back. "Anyway, since it's a girl, I think her name should be...Luna!"
"Luna?" I smirked, "Of course you would think of something like that."
"What do you mean?"
The answer left me lips so easily, "It's unique like you."
A smile pulled softly at my face as she blinked and began to blush, "I thought you said that the only thing different about me was my hair."
I swallowed, remembering my harsh words and frowned, "I lied." She looked surprised for a moment, but then gave me a warm smile. Clearing my throat, I brought the attention to the photo, "What's your family like?"
She pointed to the picture, "That's my dad, Kenji; he's a magazine editor and sometimes takes pictures too. He works a lot, but he always finds time for us. He's very protective of me, sometimes a little too much. Mom, on the other hand, wants to give me some freedom. That's her. Her name is Ikuko. She's always so caring and loves almost anyone. She has this way of making everyone she knows better. Shingo's my brother. He's twelve and such a pain, always sticking his nose where it doesn't belong. He's so annoying, but I guess that's his job as a little brother."
I smiled, "Sounds like you have a wonderful family."
"What's your family like?"
I hesitated, "It's really small, just my...old man and me."
"Oh, well, what's he like?"
I thought for a moment, "He's pretty strict and quiet. He doesn't open up much to others."
Usagi gave a weak smile, "Kind of like you." I turned my head from her gaze; her words somehow struck me. My attention was brought back to her, however, when she placed her hand on mine. She continued to smile, "But, you're changing."
Confused, I questioned, "What do you mean?"
"You came here today."
"Usagi, I told you, I thought..." The startled look on her face stopped my sentence. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," she said softly, "It's just the first time you actually said my name." I hadn't even noticed that. She whispered, "You're a strange one, Mamoru. I'm still trying to figure you out."
I laughed lightly, "And I'm trying to figure you out."
"Then maybe we should try something different," she proposed.
"Like what?"
"Maybe we could be friends," she offered.
"Friends?" I repeated. "I don't think I would be a very good friend."
"Let me be the judge of that," she said with determination.
Honestly, I had no idea how to be a friend to anyone; I didn't remember ever having a real one. However, something in the way she looked at me made me curious to see what it could be like. Nodding lightly, I pushed myself to agree, "Okay, let's be friends."
. . . . . . . . . .
Finally, I finished mopping the last inch of the café's floor. With a sigh, I rung out the mop and took the bucket of soapy water into the kitchen. I poured out the water in the sink and then dropped everything off in the supply closet. I hung my apron up on the nearby hook and headed to the bathroom. I instantly regretted opening the door. "Motoki!" I coughed at the overwhelming smell of cologne and quickly backed out of the room, "What are you trying to do? Suffocate yourself?"
"Very funny!" Motoki exited the bathroom dressed in a green button up dress shirt with nice khaki pants and red tie. His usually messy hair was combed back neatly.
Grabbing a near by piece of paper, I fanned the smell away, "You look good for your date, Motoki, but I think you may kill her with that aroma."
In a fidgety motion, Motoki hurried over to the counter and took a nicely wrapped gold bag from behind it. He made sure there were no rips and exhaled, "This is my first Christmas with Mina, and I really want it to go okay."
"I'm sure it will. Just relax," I encouraged as I sat on one of the barstools.
Suddenly, the door opened, and in popped Usagi bundled up in a wintry pink coat. "Merry Christmas, guys!"
"Merry Christmas, Usagi," I smiled at her as she scurried over to us.
"Merry Christmas," Motoki said with a nervous smile.
Usagi must have noted his nervousness because she grinned hugely at him, "Wow, Motoki, you look awesome! Mina won't be able to take her eyes off you!" He brightened at her comment. "But," she pointed to the clock on the wall, "I don't know how she will feel if you don't get there on time."
Motoki's attention turned to his watch, "Oh, crap! I have to go!" Quickly, he grabbed his jacket and raced out the door with the gift in hand. As he disappeared out of sight, we could hear him shout, "Merry Christmas, you two!"
Usagi and I looked at each other until we both began to laugh. "She makes him crazy," I chuckled.
"She's pretty crazy about him too," she commented with a grin, "It is pretty cute."
I nodded, "Anyway, it's Christmas Eve. Shouldn't you be on your way home?"
"I am, but," she pulled a box out of her bag and extended it to me, "Merry Christmas, Mamoru."
Surprise overwhelmed me. I pointed at myself and she pushed the box closer to me. I took it slowly and ripped off the holiday paper. When I opened the box, I felt my eyebrow rise. Inside, a navy blue book rested. "What's this?" I asked curiously.
"Open it," she ordered softly.
I followed her direction and did so. It was a photo album full of pictures perfectly laid out in carefully designed pages. The photos captured moments that we had shared over the past few months. "Usagi..." I didn't know what to say.
She grinned and gave a light shrug, "You know me. I love pictures." I honestly didn't realize how many times she had actually pulled out her phone and snapped a photo. "Here," she flipped the page and pointed to a picture of us on a picnic with Motoki and Minako, "That was such a pretty day."
"This must have taken you forever," I stated and turned the page to one where Motoki and I were covered in mud.
Usagi laughed, "I couldn't believe you would dedicate a day to helping Mina with her family's yard."
"Helping?" I shook my head, "More like we did all of the work while you two ate popsicles." She giggled. I continued through the book as we shared more stories. I smiled at the one of us working with a Maikeru at the hospital. Usagi was so excited that day to see the small boy walk for the first time since his hip had healed. It was fun watching her acting as cheerleader while I helped to balance him down the hall.
I let out a laugh at a photo of Usagi holding up her English test - her first perfect score. "You did really well."
"Because of you," Usagi declared. I turned to the last page, and she touched the final photo. It was a simple one, just the two of us sitting together at the Crown, but as she was laughing, I was smiling at her, oblivious of the camera. "Mina took that one. It's my favorite," she said softly.
"Me, too," I whispered. Closing the book, I smiled at her, "Thank you, Usagi. I have never received anything like this before."
She gave a satisfied smile, "I'm so glad you like it."
"I didn't get you anything," I frowned.
"No, Mamoru!" she rebuked, "It's okay. I didn't expect anything. Really." She pulled tight on her coat, "But, it would be nice if you could walk me home."
"Okay." I grabbed my coat and bundled up tight. After throwing away the torn wrapping paper, I put the album back in the box. "Shall we?" Usagi nodded happily and headed outside. I turned off the lights, locked the door behind us, and motioned for her to head down the sidewalk.
"Burr...It's gotten colder," Usagi huffed out a breath to see it fog in front of her face. We headed to her house in silence until it was broken by the sound of Usagi's giggle.
Interested, I asked, "What are you laughing about?"
"Motoki and Mina," she grinned, "I think they are falling in love."
"How can you be so sure?" I questioned.
"It's the way they look at each other," she explained, "And, they always want to be with each other. That has to be love, right?"
"I don't really know," I shrugged. Looking at her in curiosity, I asked, "Have you ever been in love, Usagi?"
"Me?" she asked in surprise, "No, I've never even had a boyfriend." She waited a moment, "What about you? Have you ever had a girlfriend?"
"No." I replied. Awkward silence returned. We continued on our way past the last minute shoppers and laughing families until I noticed that Usagi wasn't next to me. I looked behind me to see her looking at a shop window. I went to her and searched for what captured her attention. Suddenly, I saw it, a beautiful gold necklace with a simple rose hanging from the chain. An idea came to me. "Do you like that necklace?"
"Yes, it is very pretty," she touched her collarbone absentmindedly. I nodded and walked into the store. "Mamoru!" she shouted behind me.
"Wait there," I ordered. I went to the clerk and he assisted me in getting the necklace from the window. Not caring about the price, I purchased the elegant jewelry. I left the store and found her standing there dumbfounded.
"Mamoru, you shouldn't have..."
"Turn around." She hesitated and I repeated, "Turn around." This time she did so. As I balanced the photo album under my arm, I raised the chain over her head and around her neck. I latched it and let it gently fall.
She pulled her long hair free and let her hand rest on the golden rose. After a couple of moments, she slowly spun around and looked up at me. Her eyes glistened with tears, "Mamoru..."
Instantly, I felt unsure of my actions, "Usagi, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."
"No," she shook her head, wiped her tears away, and smiled the most beautiful smile that I had ever seen, "Thank you. I love it." Then she slipped her arms around me and laid her head on my chest. I hesitated. This was the closest we had ever been. I didn't know what I was supposed to do. "I will treasure it forever," she whispered into me.
I smiled and let my arms circle around her, "You're welcome." I closed my eyes and rested my head on the top of hers. She was warm and smelt of flowers; I was entranced.
"Mamoru, look!" My eyes opened as she pulled away. Then, I realized what caused her thrill. Ever so softly, snow began to fall. Sticking out her tongue, she started to spin around, her hair waving about her.
I laughed at her innocence, "You look like a little kid."
"Well, that's okay at Christmas!" she exclaimed, "It's a time to recall our childhood selves; all of our fond memories." I didn't want to tell her that I was sure that my Christmas memories were completely opposite of hers. While hers were probably full of sparkling lights, mine were dull and lonely. "It's all so magical!" she exclaimed as she came back to my side, "I guess we should get going. We're almost to my house." We returned to a quiet walk again, but I could see her out of the corner of my eye. She continuously touched the necklace and smiled wistfully. After a bit, I heard Christmas music playing. We arrived at the source, her home. "Mom has the carols playing," she said. "Mamoru, do you want to come in?"
"No. I'm okay," I refused, "I need to get to my apartment." She frowned, and I could tell she was worried about me. "Really, I will be fine. I have plans," I lied.
"Okay," she said uncertainly, "Well, you are always welcome."
"Thank you." I lifted the photo album, "And, thank you for my present."
Her face lit up, "And, thank you so much for mine."
I smiled and gave a small wave, "Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas, Mamoru!" she waved joyfully and headed inside.
After watching the door shut, I headed back down the way we came. I walked a few blocks, staring up at the falling snow. Slowly, I stuck out my tongue.
. . . . . . . . . .
A couple of days later, I returned to my usual routine at the Crown. It was slower than regular days, but Motoki told me that was normal during Christmas break because most of the people were out of town. I couldn't help but enjoy the quieter atmosphere.
"Here you go," Motoki handed a costumer a soda, then started wiping down the counter. Glancing at his watch, he sighed, "Mina and Usagi said that they would be here fifteen minutes ago."
"Don't freak out. You know Usagi always runs a little late," I joked.
"I heard that!" The blonde skipped up to us. Crossing her arms, she groaned, "Shingo hid my shoes again!"
"Oh," I smirked, "Then I guess I owe you an apology."
She bobbed her head, "Yes you do!"
"Hey, where's Mina?" Motoki budded in.
"She said she had to run an errand. She should be here in a minute," she explained. All of a sudden, the door slung open and in ran an out-of-breath Minako. "See," Usagi directed towards the girl.
Hurrying to Motoki's side, she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, "So sorry I'm late!"
"What have you been up to?" Motoki questioned.
Rummaging in her large orange purse, she pulled out a CD, "I just had to buy this!"
"What is it?" I asked.
"Only the most amazing singing group on the planet!" she exclaimed. "None other than the Three Lights!"
Usagi's eyes widened. "Their new CD is out already?"
"Hot of the burner!" Minako grinned and handed it to Usagi.
Unsure who this band was, I asked, "Who are the Three Lights?"
Minako's jaw dropped, "Oh my gosh, Mamoru! I'm talking about Taiki, Yaten, and Seiya Kou, the most talented singers ever!"
"Pardon me," I laughed and smirked at Motoki, "What do you think about this obsession of Minako's?"
He shrugged, "I don't think I have anything to worry about. Do I, Mina?"
"Of course not!" she gave him a quick squeeze.
"It seems like your dreams are coming true."
My attention turned to Usagi as she stared warmly at the CD cover. "Whose dreams?" I asked.
As if awaking from a trance, she looked at me in surprise, "What?"
"You said, 'It seems like your dreams are coming true.'" I repeated.
"Oh," she blushed, "I was just talking to myself." Handing the CD back to Minako, she grinned, "I think I am going to go buy my own copy too."
"Right now?" Minako frowned.
"You, just got yours just now," she stated, "I love them too."
"Okay," Minako nodded and frowned, "I should've got you a copy."
"It's okay," she smiled.
"Do you have to go now?" I asked. I was a little irritated about this music group, but didn't know why.
She sighed, "I will have to run home and get some of my Christmas money first." We all looked at her with disappointment, but none of us wanted to bug her on the issue. "Alright, see you guys later!" Waving, she left with a thoughtful look on her face.
Minako watched her leave, "I don't know why she had to go right this moment."
"Maybe she wanted a copy just as bad as you," Motoki teased, poking her in the side. She laughed and playfully slapped him. As they had their fun, I kept silently starting at the door.
. . .
The air was cool and crisp as I jogged through the streets of the night encased Tokyo. A good late evening run always helped to clear my mind. Lately, my thoughts were not focused like they should be. Ever since Christmas Eve, I was distracted. Thoughts of Usagi kept sidetracking me. That made something inside of me twist. Usagi was on my mind, constantly, and it was clear that she had become important to me. Picking up my pace as I entered the park, I felt irritation growing. I didn't like the idea that she was so significant. I refused to let anyone take a place like that in my life, but somehow Usagi snuck in and took hold.
Sighing, I stopped to catch my breath. The cold burned my lungs. I tipped my head in the air until the pain subsided. Suddenly, movement of a shadowy figure ahead caught my sight. As the light of the moon shown down and reflected off the icy lake, the person's identity gave way. The one of a kind dumpling hairstyle told me it was Usagi. I started to approach her, but stopped as she lit a candle. I watched as she set the candle on the bench overlooking the lake where the roses slept. Wrapping a blanket around her, she took a seat and pulled something out of a bag. Moving closer to get a better look, I made out what appeared to be a notebook.
The world stopped moving as she began to sing. I was dumbstruck. Her voice was amazing, like an angel's. Never would I have imagined that she could possess such a gift, and I wondered why she had kept it secret. Focusing on the song, I realized it was one I had never heard before, but it touched my soul. It told a story about seeing a person through different eyes and, somehow, it felt familiar to what we had done for each other.
"Dang it!" I was brought out of the reverie as she cursed and scribbled a few words in the notebook. She groaned, "It's horrible. I'll never get it right!"
"It's not horrible," I said.
Gasping, she shot around to stare at me, "Mamoru! What are you doing here?"
"I was out for a jog." Pausing, I tried to think of what I wanted to say. I felt guilty for interrupting her obvious want to be alone. Finally, I spoke, "Usagi...that was really good. Did you write that song?" I walked up to the bench and watched as anger covered her face.
"I can't believe you were listening, Mamoru," she scowled, "I didn't want anyone to know about this!"
I was taken aback, "Why?"
"Because," she glared at me, "Don't you have any secrets?"
Frowning, I nodded. "I'm sorry I bothered you," I began to walk away when she stopped me.
"Wait, Mamoru," she looked at me in sadness. "I'm sorry I was so rude. It's just...my songs are really private. My writing is the only place I can go to get away," she explained.
I apologized, "I understand. I really didn't mean to eavesdrop; I swear." She gave a small smile, moved the candle, and patted the bench. Carefully, I sat down next to her and commented, "You're really talented, Usagi."
"Thank you," she said as she fiddled with her notebook. "Promise me you won't tell anyone, though. Not even Mina."
I was surprised that she didn't even want Minako to know. "Why? You're really good," I affirmed.
She shrugged, "I just don't want anyone to make a big deal out of it. I just don't like singing in front of people without him."
"Without him?" I questioned.
"I had a partner when I was little," she smiled weakly with a distant look in her eyes. "He was really talented and made for the spotlight, but when he heard me sing, he asked me to join him. We were really good friends, but eventually, he had to move away." She looked down at the ground, "That was a long time ago."
"What happened?" I asked.
Frowning, she replied, "Life. When you grow up, things change, paths change. Ours just didn't go the same way. Since then, I haven't really wanted to sing for anyone."
"Oh." I felt guilty for invading one of her deepest secrets. I had no right to be here or know this part of her, but deep down, I couldn't help but feel some excitement. I was able to witness a part of Usagi that was hidden from others. It was wrong for me to feel that way, but I wanted it. In my mind she continued singing, and her voice was stunning. I watched as she slowly stared up at the large moon. The light shimmered down, caressing her in a pale glow. She looked heavenly. Then, the words slipped out, "You look so beautiful." Immediately, I bit my tongue.
Gaping at me, a blush claimed her cheeks. Turning back to the moon, she smiled, "My mother told me that I was born on the night of a full moon. She said that my eyes sparkle because when I opened them for the first time, some of the moonlight got trapped in them."
"I think she is right," I smiled at the story, trying to collect my emotions. Maybe it was the moonlight that had caused me to act in such a way.
"Ah!" Usagi let out a light scream, causing me to jump. Speedily, a rabbit darted from the nearby bush across to another. She laughed lightly, "Sorry, that startled me."
I laughed as well, "Doesn't your name mean 'rabbit'?"
"How did you know that?" she was amazed at my knowledge.
"Random, useless knowledge," I shrugged.
"Useless?" she raised her eyebrow playfully.
"I'm just teasing you, Usako." Again, my words betrayed me, and this time with a silly name.
She chuckled, "Usako? That's a weird nickname."
"I didn't mean to call you that," I corrected; truly unsure of why I would call her that.
"It's way better than Dumpling Head," she grinned, "You know, I am going to give you a nickname. Something childish and cute."
"Really?" I was intrigued, "What name is that?"
Her forehead wrinkled in thought and then she said, "Mamo-chan. Yes, Mamo-chan."
I rolled my eyes, "Come on."
"Get used to it, Mamo-chan," she determined. A few moments passed, and she whispered, "I wouldn't mind if you called me Usako." I felt heat rise to my face, but I kept my mouth shut.
Some time passed, and I noticed her shiver. "It is getting even colder out here," I stood up, "Come on, I'll walk you home."
Blowing out the candle, she got up and gathered her things. "It's weird that we would both be here at the same time. This is my favorite place."
"Mine too," I helped her with her things and began to leave the park. "It is odd that we always seem to run into each other."
"I noticed that, too," she agreed, "Maybe it's destiny or something." She smiled and surprised me by taking my hand, "Whatever it is, I'm glad it brought us together, Mamo-chan." She leaned her head on my shoulder.
My heart began to beat roughly in my chest and it became hard to breathe. I looked down at her and gulped, "Usako, we're friends, right?"
She looked up at me in confusion, "Of course we are." She stared at me for a moment then smiled, "You're so weird, Mamo-chan."
I returned her with a forced smile. Turning back to the path in front of us, I felt torn; one part of me was continuing towards Usagi's house and the other part was being pulled far away. My emotions for Usagi were driving me crazy, and the feeling of her hand in mine made it worse. I couldn't imagine my life without her now, and that terrified me. Shaking my head, I coughed and let go of her hand.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
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