Dimitri POV

When Roza came home from Adrian's, she was in a strange mood. She was home earlier than usual and she barely looked at me. I'd asked her if everything was all right and she'd said that it was but there was something wrong with her.
"Did Adrian do something to upset you?" I asked as she grabbed a can of soda from the fridge.
"No."
"Are you sure? Did he say something or-"
"Yes, Dimitri. I'm sure. He didn't do or say anything." She snapped and then stormed off in to the bedroom, slamming the door behind her.
I stared after her, wondering what I was supposed to do. Should I go after her or give her space? Should I call Adrian or Vasilisa to come and check on her? Should I leave until she's calmed down? It broke my heart that I didn't know what she needed any more. There had been a time where I'd known what my Roza needed before she did but that time seemed like a thousand years ago. Now, I didn't have a clue what she needed. Adrian however seemed to know exactly what she needed. They were spending more and more time together and I was concerned that his bad habits were influencing her. She'd come home drunk from Adrian's house more than once, and it wasn't always at night. She spent most of time away from Adrian asleep, and I knew that he was with her then too. I was left behind, racking my brain for a way to help her and always coming up empty handed. On the other hand, I knew where Nathan was. I knew where he was and I was going to kill him for what he'd done to her. To us.
I made my bed on the sofa and turned the light off, reading my book by the dim light of the lamp on the small table next to the sofa. I'd been ready for an hour or so when I heard Roza screaming. The screams were blood curdling and I jumped up, racing to her. I leaned over her and shook her gently, calling her name but she couldn't hear me over the sound of her own screams.
"Roza, please wake up. Roza."
She woke up, sitting bolt up right as tears poured down her face. "Dimitri?"
"I'm here, Roza. You're safe."
She looked up at me through teary eyes and I couldn't tell if she was relieved or not. "Dimitri." She said on an outward breath, her muscles relaxing under my hands.
"Are you all right?"
She nodded and pulled away from me, so I let her go. She stood up and left our bedroom, walked in to the bathroom and shut the door. I sat on the end of the bed and waited for her to return. When she came back, her skin was damp and her eyes were bloodshot. She'd been crying, I was sure, but I knew better than to say anything about it. She'd changed her clothes as well, her T shirt and shorts were gone, replaced the Christmas pyjamas that I'd bought her last year. They were brushed cotton with tiny penguins in red scarves and winter hats with pompoms on.
"Are you sure that you want to wear those?" I asked, worrying that she'd get too hot in the night.
She nodded and finished buttoning the shirt up.
"Wouldn't you rather wear the silk ones that Vasilisa bought you for your birthday? They'll be cooler for you." I said.
"I'm fine, Dimitri. Stop worrying."
"Did you have a nightmare?" I asked.
She nodded. "It wasn't too bad. I think they're getting better."
I knew that she was lying. Her screams were the same as they'd been since she came home. "Wasn't Adrian with you?"
"No."
"Why not? I thought he was-"
"He's probably exhausted from being with me all the time. He needs a break." Roza said and then got back in to bed, bringing the covers right up to her chin.
Clearly I was being dismissed, so I stood and made my way over to the door.
"Wait." She said quickly. "You can stay, Dimitri."
I turned around to face her, studying her face to make sure that she was sure. "Are you sure, Roza?"
She nodded, biting her lip slightly. "Come to bed, Dimitri." She pulled the covers back for, so I slid in to bed beside her.
I lay on my back, staring up at the ceiling, wondering what I should do. Should I hold her the way I used to or wait for her to make the first move? Leaving it up to Roza was obviously the right choice, so I stayed perfectly still and waited. And waited. And then I felt her move slightly, until her hand was touching mine. It was only the slightest of touches but it was the closest to her that I'd been in a long time. I'd missed her. It was then that I realised the purpose of the penguin pyjamas. She was deliberately trying to cover herself. She wanted me to be with her but she didn't want me to be able to touch her skin or at least any part other than her hand.
I kept my hand where it was, though fighting the urge to hold her hand properly was difficult. My muscles were tense and starting to ache, but the heat from her skin was soothing. Being with my Roza, my wonderful Roza, was soothing. It was a big step for her, going from not allowing anyone to touch her to resting the side of her hand against mine. To anyone else, it wouldn't have been anything, but to me it was everything.
"Goodnight, Dimitri." She whispered in to the darkness.
"Goodnight, Roza."

Something was tickling my nose. I woke, still lying on my back, and realised that it was Roza's beautiful hair that was tickling my nose. And her head that was resting on my chest. And her arm that was draped over my chest. I breathed a sigh of relief, hoping and praying that Roza was finally ready to let me get close
And that's when she started twitching in her sleep. Her face was no longer a picture of serenity as her brows creased and she started mumbling something incohearant. And then, she sat bolt up right, her eyes turned to me as if she wanted to kill me.
She jumped out of bed and glared at me through teary eyes. "You son of a bitch."
"What?" I asked, wondering what I could possibly have done when I'd only just woken up.
"This is all your fault."
"What is? Roza, what have I done?" I asked, getting out of bed and going to stand before her. I reached out for her but she stepped away from me until she bumped in to the night stand.
"Don't touch me, Dimitri. You did this."
"Did what, Roza? What did I do?"
She shook her head and turned away from me, swiping the tears from her cheeks. She went to the wardrobe and pulled out a bag and then rammed clothes in to it. "I
have to go."
"Go where? Roza, you're making no sense." I said, coming behind her to take her bag. As soon as I touched her, she turned around and punched me in the face. "Roza!"
She jabbed her finger in to my chest and snarled at me. "You just couldn't leave it alone, could you Dimitri? Everything always has to be about you and now he's gone. He's gone, Dimitri, and it's all your fault."
"Who?" I asked as I grabbed her wrist to stop her from jabbing me. It was the wrong move as it only made her worse. She screamed and clawed at my face and chest with her free hand, desperately trying to free herself from my grip. I spun her around and pressed her back against my chest, crossing my arms over her front so that she couldn't herself or me.
"Get off me. Don't fucking touch me." She said as she thrashed around, kicking her legs.
I let go of her, knowing that it wouldn't get me anywhere and retreated to a safe distance. "What else happened to you, Roza?" I asked, knowing that she'd been through so much more than I was aware of.
She shook her head and picked up her bag. "I have to go."
"You can't leave, Roza. You need help."
"No here can help me. I have to go. He needs me."
"Who?"
"Eddie. Nathan has Eddie." She said quietly and then walked out of the bedroom.
I stared after her. She had to be wrong. "Roza!" I called after her and then went to find her. She was in the kitchen, opening a granola bar. "Roza-" I tried but she cut me off.
"You don't understand, Dimitri. He's going to kill him and then he's going to come back for me any way. He said it. He said that he'd never let me leave him. I have to go. Dimitri, please. I have to go."
"You're not leaving. Even if I have to tie you down to the bed, you're not leaving this room." I took a step towards her but she took one back, dropping her granola bar on the kitchen tiles, her eyes wide as if she were scared of me. I went to my original position and tried again. "Roza, I'm not going to hurt you."
"I know." She said but didn't sound sure.
"You're in no shape to be running off. You need more time to heal, to recover."
"But Eddie-"
"Eddie will be fine." I said soothingly. "I'll call Alberta and we'll send people to help him."
"No one can help him. Only me. I have to save him."
"We'll save him, Roza."
"How? How will we save him when you're the one that sent him out there?" She spat, her eyes full of anger. "Eddie... Eddie isn't like us, Dimitri. He isn't a God like you and isn't as strong as I am. Was. As strong as I was."
"You're still strong, Roza." I said, mentally begging her to believe me.