Rose POV
I nodded at Dimitri, resisiting the urge to tell him that he had no idea. He thought that I was still strong because I'd survived but I wasn't so sure that I had. Yes, I was walking and talking, eating, drinking. I was doing everything that other people do even though I wasn't like them. I was an empty shell of the person that I used to be. The person that had never been afraid of being around people. The person that had never been afraid of Dimitri, even when he'd been strigoi. I was a new Rose, but I had still parts of the old Rose in me. Like my plan making skills.
A plan was already forming in my head as Dimitri and I stared at each other. I picked my granola bar up off the kitchen floor and threw it in the trash can before walking past Dimitri and heading in to the bedroom. I left the door open, knowing that Dimitri would be following me. He didn't though. I managed to get dressed, throw a few things in to a bag and hide it under the bed before he came to find me.
"Vasilisa would like to see you, Roza." He said from the doorway, holding his phone in his hand.
"Is she all right?" I asked. The last thing I needed was for Liss to have a spirit induced break down.
"As far as I'm aware, yes." He said, not meeting my eyes once. He was up to something, but I had no idea what it was. "I'll take you over there before I go to the gym."
"It's down the hall, Dimitri. I can manage."
"The last time you walked the hall alone, you collapsed in nothing but a towel." He pointed out.
"Then it's a good thing I'm dressed." I snapped, barging past him and heading to the door. I picked my keys up out of the bowl so that I could get back in and walked out, without so much as a goodbye.
As soon as Liss opened the door, she threw her arms around me. "Oh, Rose, I had no idea."
"About what?" I asked, standing stiffly in her embrace.
"They told me that you were taken but they never told me... they never told me the rest. I didn't know. I'm sorry."
"Oh." I looked over her shoulder and glared at Christian, who looked like he'd been caught stealing something.
"Christian and I have decided to put the wedding off until you're feeling better." She said proudly.
I rolled my eyes and pushed her away, clenching my jaw as I forced the words out. "For God's sake, Liss. I don't care about your wedding. I don't care about your dresses or your flowers or damn speeches. I. Don't. Care."
Lissa gasped and took a step back as if I'd slapped her, her jade eyes filling with tears. "Rose-"
"I don't want to be your Maid of Honour. I don't want to give a speech. Quite frankly, I don't even want to be there. You can get married tomorrow or in ten years but I won't be there. I've given up enough of my life for you and standing in a church with a fake smile as I watch you throw your life away isn't going to be another thing that I had to the list of wasted days."
"Rose!" Christian yelled, coming to wrap his arm around Lissa's shoulders. "There's no-"
"No point to her marrying someone like you? I agree. Crazy runs in your family, right? Your parents, your aunt. How long will it be before you go off the deep end?" I had to keep going, I had to say it. "Then again, she's just as crazy. Maybe you are perfect for each other."
"Get out." He said slowly. "I know that you've been through a lot, Rose, but this is uncalled for."
"You don't know anything, fire boy. You might have seen it, but you didn't live it. You weren't there. You didn't have to... You don't know. You'll never know. You want me to go? Fine. I'll go."
My heart felt heavy in my chest as I let myself back in to the apartment and went to the phone to write a note for Dimitri.
Dimitri,
Seeing as everyone feels the need to report my every move to you, you probably already know about the fight between me and Lissa. Between the two of you, I can barely breathe.
I'm leaving Court. I don't want you to come after me, I don't want you to try and find me. I've not been taken or forced in to it. I'm leaving of my own free will. You of all people should know how important that is.
A long time ago you told me that love fades. Well, ours had.
I'm sorry.
Rose.
I ripped it off the pad and folded it once, scribbling his name on the front before taking it in to the bedroom and placing it gently on his pillow. I grabbed my bag from under the bed, left my key on the night stand and left the apartment with a feeling of dread.
I was doing the right thing. I had to be. Pushing them away was the only way to keep them all safe.
I head across Court towards Adrian's house and knocked on the door. When it was opened, I was surprised to see Daniella standing there with a smile on her face. "Good morning, Rose." She said happily. "Adrian is still in bed."
I let out the breath that I didn't know I'd been holding and smiled. "That's okay, Lady Ivashkov. Could you tell him that I'm leaving Court for a few days and that I appreciate everything that he's done for me?"
"Of course, but Rose, are sure that leaving Court is a good idea given your recent... experience?"
"I need some time away." I said, unable to meet her eyes. "It'll be better for everyone this way."
"Are you sure you don't want to speak to him yourself? I know that he'll want to say goodbye in person."
"No, thank you. I really have to go." I said and turned away from her, walking away from the Ivashkov house and heading towards the gates.
Jason, an older guardian with greying hair, was on duty when I got there. He was a good man that took his job seriously, which wasn't a good thing for me right then.
"Guardian Hathaway." He greeted me with a small nod. "Are you going somewhere?"
"I'm leaving for a few days." I said with as much confidence as I could manage.
"I don't have you on my list." He said without even looking at it. Of course he'd have memorised the list of authorised exits and he was right, I wasn't on the list. Still, I needed to get out of Court.
"It was a last minute decision between the Queen and I. She's sent me on an errand."
"Her Majesty usually joins you on errands." He pointed out, knowing that something was up. "I'll call it through and see what she says."
"You do that." I said, trying my best to sound annoyed when really I was praying that she wouldn't answer the phone.
He went in to the small building and picked the phone up, looking over at me as he pressed the numbers and then waited for it to be answered. He was still watching me as he spoke it to the phone. "Your Majesty, I'm sorry to disturb you. I have Guardian Hathaway at the gate. She's insisting that she has permission to leave Court on an errand but she's not on the list." His eyebrows shot up whilst she was answering him. "I'm sorry, Your Majesty but I'm not comfortable repeating that. Yes." He held the phone out to me and I took it from him.
"Hello?"
"Really, Rose? You speak to Christian and I in that way and then you try to go on an errand and expect me to tell them to let you leave?"
"Really, Liss? Why are acting like you care?" I snapped. "You're more interested in your precious wedding than in me, remember?"
"Fine, Rose. Do whatever you want. Next time you get poisoned or abducted, don't come crying to me about it. Put Guardian Matthews on."
I held out the phone to Jason, who was staring at me as if I had two heads, and he held it up to his ear. "Yes, Your Majesty." He said once and then pressed the button to open the gate. I walked through it before he could say anything else. On the other side, I turned to take one last look at Court and then walked away from it for the last time.