IMPORTANT NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR (PLEASE READ):
Okay, some of you need to prepare yourself because, based on reviews, I know you will be disappointed. Again, I wrote this almost 13 years ago, and while it seems cliché, I am keeping the following plot point because I can relate to it personally and it holds a deep place in my heart. Sorry to disappoint.
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Crossroads in Life
Written by Princess Kayla
Inspired by Naoko Takeuchi's "Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon"
Chapter Five
View from a Rabbit
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My vision blurred as the yellow taxi sped out of sight. I didn't know how long I had stood there until the burning in my hand became too much to bear. I loosened my fingers from around the familiar bracelet. The rabbits, moons and roses entranced me.
A harsh sob snapped me out of my stupor. I quickly realized that the sob had come from my own lips. I was so confused by the moments that had just taken place. I wanted to believe that I had imagined Mamoru getting in the cab and driving away, heading to a new life in America. My heart felt like it had been ripped from my chest and taken with him.
I could not stop recalling that night, a week ago. Even though everything escalated so quickly, I knew, deep down, I wanted it to happen. I wanted to be with him, but I now realized that it shouldn't have happened the way it did. Before we had taken that huge leap, we should have started with the honesty of how we truly felt for each other. But, everything was out of order. If only I had understood my feelings before we gave into passion, I would have been able to tell him how I wanted to give him all of myself. Now, everything seemed so clouded.
I wondered now, if that passion had warped my thoughts and convinced me that I loved him and that he loved me in return. But, Mamoru had made it clear that the night we made love was not love at all. He explained that he had let things get out of hand; as if, it was a mistake. After we had spoken on the phone, I tried to process everything he said. However, I couldn't come to those same terms.
I remembered how much it hurt when he said 'I know you wanted to wait for the right person - someone you love, and who loves you in return. I'm sorry I took that from you.' He regretted what we had done, but I didn't...until now.
I thought that he just needed more time to process what had happened, so I didn't call him. But, as the days passed, I knew I was running out of time. He was supposed to leave, and I had to see him before he did. Desperate, I headed to his apartment.
I convinced myself it was fate when I ran into him on the way there. When I saw his handsome face, my soul ached. I just couldn't accept that he didn't love me. There was something in what he didn't say, in his kisses and in his eyes. That something told me that his feelings for me were deeper than he wanted to admit. It didn't make sense why he would not own up to those emotions. Instead of facing the truth, he jumped in the cab and hurried away from me.
Suddenly, I was angry. With a great force, I hurled the bracelet against a nearby brick wall, attempting to send all my emotions with it. But, I failed miserably as the tears continued to cascade down my cheeks. By returning the bracelet to me, Mamoru gave me his final goodbye.
Embarrassment overcame me. I had shared all my most precious feelings with him. I had confessed my love for him, only to be told that what I felt wasn't real. I didn't understand how that could be. Everything I imagined love to be lined up with how I felt for Mamoru. That had to be proof that I truly did love him.
Perhaps, I was wrong. It was possible that everything I believed about love was a lie. Perhaps, I didn't know what love really was, and Mamoru did. He seemed to believe that we weren't meant to be together; that somewhere out there, the right person existed.
"Am I too naïve to know what real love is?" I whispered to myself, "Am I not worth it?" Mamoru had told me that I deserved better. I couldn't grasp what he meant. When we had first met, I thought he was cruel, but then I saw more of who he was. I remembered his compassion with Seera, the laughter we shared with Minako and Motoki, the moment he started calling me 'Usako' - he was actually very gentle.
But, then this. It was like he returned to the Mamoru I first met, rude and inconsiderate. The Mamoru that I had just left me on the side of the street was a fool. He told me to let go of him, but really, he let go of me.
I looked at the discarded bracelet on the sidewalk and felt overwhelmed with pity for it. I picked it up and walked back home, defeated.
. . .
"Welcome home, pretty girl," my mother greeted me, "Do you want some lunch?" She walked into the foyer wiping her hands with a dishtowel. At the sight of my obviously tear stained face, she hurried over to me, "Usagi, what in the world happened?" Alarmed, she looked over my body, "Are you hurt?" I shook my head, and immediately fell into her arms. Coarse sobbing came as I hid my face in her shoulder. "Usagi, please tell me what's going on?"
Between sobs, I mumbled, "Mamo-chan...Mamoru left."
"Where did he go?" she asked as she stroked my hair.
"America," I cried.
"Oh, no. Oh, my sweet girl, I'm so sorry. I know he is one for your best friends. I'm sure you will still be able to call each other on the phone," she tried to encourage, but my heart only broke further. I wondered if we would talk again. Since he told me to forget him, I wondered if he would even take my calls. I squeezed my mom tighter.
She shushed me gently, as if I were a baby, "There now, how about we have some lunch and talk about this whole thing?"
I pulled away from her and sniffed loudly, "I think I am just going to go lie down."
"Okay," she said softly, "Well, let me know if you get hungry." I started to go upstairs, when she said, "Usagi, it's all going to be okay." I really wanted to believe her.
. . . . . . . . . .
When school came on the following Monday, I tried to put everything out of my mind. Mamoru was probably at his new home by now and starting his new life. Therefor, I had to get back to a normal life minus him.
The day went by slowly, and I felt like I was floating through each class. I tried to focus on unimportant things, like doodling pictures of Luna on a piece of paper. At lunch, I picked at my food that my mother had packed, counting each grain of rice. I was startled when Minako bounced over to me in that joyful way of hers. However, as she sat down, her mood altered.
"Usagi," she questioned me, "What are you doing?" I shrugged and took a bite of seven pieces of rice. She began apologizing, "I'm sorry I didn't talk to you over the weekend. Mom took my phone away again." She rolled her eyes; "She says that I am addicted to my games."
I forced a light laugh, "Well, you are."
She noticed that I was not myself, and suddenly, an expression went across her face, "Wait, Mamoru left this weekend, didn't he?" I nodded. "Oh, my goodness. I completely forgot. I am so sorry, Usagi," she said with such sympathy, "I know this must be incredibly hard for you. He means so much to you."
She waited for a reaction from me, but I said nothing. Searching my face, she finally continued, "I know things were kind of awkward for you guys recently. Did you get to say goodbye?" Again, I nodded. She frowned, "Do you want to talk about it?" I shook my head. Sighing, she placed a hand on my shoulder, "Okay. You know I am always here for you, no matter what."
"Thank you, Mina," I said and leaned into her as she gave me a soft hug.
. . .
The rest of the week was pretty much the same. Everyday, Akio would notice that I was not feeling well and did his best to cheer me up. I didn't respond as well as he hoped. After awhile, our conversations became dull and routine. I regretted the way I acted, but I didn't have the energy to perk up and be more involved.
It was hard to find energy at home too, but my mom was so kind. Every night she made a meal or dessert that she knew I loved. I did my best to fight my weak appetite.
On Friday, my dad got to come home early from work. Knowing my mom, she probably told him to rent a movie because she had popcorn ready when he got home. Shingo was shocked, "We are snacking before dinner?"
"Yes," she grinned, "It's been way too long since we have had a family fun night."
"Cool! I'll get the lights," he said as he clicked the switch and jumped into the large lounge chair.
"Shingo, it would have helped to leave the lights on until after I put the movie in," my dad reprimanded and squinted as he clicked random buttons on the DVD player. Finally, he got the right one. He put the movie in, "There we go!" He was proud of himself and went over to the couch to get comfy.
I went to sit on the floor when he stopped me, "Now, young lady, that doesn't look like your usual movie spot." He patted the cushion next to him. I sat down and he pulled me into a snuggle, "There we go, my little bunny. All comfy?"
For the first time in such so long, I felt better. I nodded and laid my head on his shoulder. He squeezed me tight, reminding me of the many movie nights our family had over the years. Suddenly, I realized something that I had overlooked as I had gotten older. I glanced around at my brother, sprawled out in the chair, my mother, bringing in the popcorn and drinks, and my father, clicking 'play' on the remote control. This wasn't some flashy storybook moment, but this was love. I felt safe and warm and home. I tucked my feet under myself, and finally, I let Mamoru slip from my mind.
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Over the next several weeks, my life became more normal again. I was never going to be who I was before Mamoru, but I had done my best to store him away like the small box under my bed that held mementos of our friendship, including the bracelet. Whenever I was reminded of him, I chose something else to focus on like graduation day. I still hadn't decided on where I would go to college, but I seemed to be leaning towards the local community one. I had reconnected with my family, and the thought of leaving them killed me.
Minako chose to attend a nearby university where she was going to major in theater. She was not going to let her dream of fame disappear. Sometimes, I envied her determination and independence. She told me that, even though she was going to move on campus, she would still come and see me all the time. That comforted me. It was crazy to believe that, after all these years, we would graduate together as best friends. I was so thankful.
"Graduation, graduation, graduation!" Minako sang the words over and over as she tried on a dress for the big day. It was exciting that we got to wear something other than our school uniform under our robes. I waited outside of the stall as she tried on a fifth gown. "Oh," she groaned, "I picked out the wrong size." She opened the door a crack, "Hey, I think this one is your size. It's so pretty. Try it on."
"But, you wanted it," I disagreed.
"No, I like the first one I tried on the best," she determined.
I rolled my eyes at her decision and then looked at the tag; it was my size. "It is pretty." I held up the lacey pink dress. It was very lady-like and lovely. "I'll try it on." I entered the next stall, stripped down my clothes, and stepped into the dress. I pulled it up and groaned. Not even zipped up and it was already very snug. I struggled to pull up the zipper. "Mina, I can't zip it," I called to her.
"Okay, I am almost dressed," she laughed. After a moment, she knocked on the door and I let her in. "Oh, the color of the dress looks lovely on you! Now, let's..." she pulled hard on the zipper and it wouldn't move, "Are you sure this is you size?"
"Yes," I said, my face growing red.
"Okay. Try holding your breath," she pinched the fabric together, "One. Two. Three!" I held my breath, and she pulled the zipper up. Instantly, I felt claustrophobic. "Um..." Minako said carefully, "Maybe it's the type of fabric. I'll go get one size up. No worries!" She pulled the zipper down, freeing me from captivity. "I'll be right back," she hurried out of the stall.
I sighed. I had gotten my appetite back, but I didn't over eat. Perhaps, I wasn't exercising enough. I turned to look at myself sideways in the mirror. Tilting my head, I was curious about how swollen my stomach was. I ran my hand over the bump and sucked in; there was no difference. Frowning, I wondered if I was bloated. I started counting in my head to see if it was time for my cycle to start. Abruptly, my heartbeat quickened. I counted again. I was late, a little over two weeks late. Immediately, my mind flashed back to that night with Mamoru and a nauseous feeling swept over me.
"Here we go!" Minako knocked on the door. I let her in and her bubbly smile faded as soon as she looked at my pale face. "Are you okay?"
I shook my head, "I'm not feeling good all of a sudden."
She frowned, "Usagi, it's okay if that dress didn't fit. I really think it was made weird."
"No," I shook my head and started pacing. I counted one more time in my head and came up with the same amount of days. My hand went to my mouth, covering it in case I was going to vomit.
Minako hung the dress aside and put her hands on my shoulders. I didn't realize I was swaying until she held me steady. "Usagi!" she exclaimed.
"Mina," I collected myself enough to speak, "I need to talk to you."
. . .
"So, now you know," I finished telling her the truth about everything that had happened with Mamoru. I stared at my reflection in the water as we sat on the mall fountain. Minako looked down at her hands, and I could tell she was processing everything. I whispered, "I can't imagine what you think of me now."
"Usagi?" Glancing up, I found her sky blue eyes brimmed with tears. She took me in a hug, "I think of you like I always have. We may not be blood, but you are my sister. My heart just breaks for you because of everything that happened. You have been carrying this all by yourself." With tears falling, she pulled away to make eye contact, "I don't understand how Mamoru could have just left you like that. He was right about one thing, you do deserve better."
I swallowed, "But, Mina, I can't help but still miss him. Isn't that ridiculous?" I felt my face growing hot as my own tears began to fall.
"No, Usagi. It's not," she comforted me, "He took away one of the most precious pieces of who you are."
"But," I disagreed, "He didn't force me into anything. I promise."
"That may be, but he still hurt you and left," she stated, obviously not accepting my defense of him. "And, now, you have to take a test without him." I nodded and picked up the mall drugstore bag. "Let's go to my house," she stood and took my hand. Again, I was so thankful for my friend.
. . .
The ticking of the clock tortured us as we waited in Minako's bedroom. We were both silent; even Artemis was completely still. In contrast, my thoughts were so loud; questions and what ifs flooded my brain. We both jumped when the timer sounded. Quickly, Minako turned it off.
Slowly standing to my feet, I hesitantly reached out and picked up the pregnancy test. My whole body was shaking.
Positive.
Everything started spinning as I slid to the ground. Minako rushed to my side, and I simply handed the test over to her. "I have to call him," I stated, numbly.
"Right now? Are you sure?" she asked with concern.
I nodded and took my phone out of my pocket. I pulled up Mamoru's number, clicked call, and waited. A weird dial tone sounded and then, "We're sorry, the number you are trying to call is no longer in service." I pushed call again, this time on speaker, "We're sorry, the number you are trying to call is no longer in service." I let the phone fall to my side.
"Let me try," Minako grabbed her phone and called his number. The same message came. "I don't understand."
"He let me go," I whispered. Confused, she stared at me for a moment and then wrapped her arms around me. Overwhelmed by the horror, I cried. Yet, Minako stayed with me, rocking me slowly back and forth.
. . .
"I'm with you," Minako stood at my side as we walked into my house.
"Usagi?" my dad's voice came.
My throat was coarse, "Yes, it's me."
"Your favorite show is on," he called from the living room. Together, Minako and I entered. My father and mother sat together on the couch. He looked over to us and was startled, "Girls, what's wrong?"
My mother sat down her book and looked at me with equal concern, "Usagi?"
"I have to talk to the both of you," I tried to keep my words stable. Immediately, my father turned off the television. I stepped forward and fought to control my shaking. "I love you both so much, and my greatest fear is disappointing you. Hurting you kills me, but I'm afraid that I have..."
"Usagi, you're scaring us," my mother straightened in her seat.
The tears came; I was so weak in front of them. "I'm pregnant." My mother's hand went to her mouth to cover her gasp of shock, while my father's entire body turned to stone. "Please, forgive me," I whimpered.
"Oh, Usagi," my mother began to cry, "I can't believe this. Who is the father?"
"Mamoru Chiba," I identified.
"No," she inhaled sharply, "The boy who moved to the United States?" I nodded. "Does he know?" she questioned me.
I shook my head, "No, I just found out today. I tried to call him, but his number is no longer working. I don't know how to get a hold of him."
"I knew you were friends, but I didn't know that you were seeing him like that. How long had this been going on?" my mom continued to ask me.
"Just the once," I clarified. My hand went to my gold necklace that I continued to wear, even after everything that had happened. "Mom, I thought I loved him, and in one random moment, I let everything get out of hand." I looked to my father who remained stiff as a board. My heart ached and the child in me cried, "Daddy? Please say something."
My mom placed a hand on his knee, and he slowly closed his eyes. His voice was low as he spoke, "I don't understand how this could happen. My little girl, my good little girl." His eyes opened and there was a heat in them that I had never seen before. "Usagi, how could you do this? How could you be so irresponsible? You were so pure."
"She still is, Mr. Tsukino," Minako butted in, "It was a mistake that happened one time."
"But, mistakes have consequences," he pointed at my stomach, "As you can see."
"That doesn't mean she isn't a good person anymore. She is one of the best people I know," Minako rebutted.
His voice rose, "Minako, you need to leave. This is a family matter."
Minako didn't hold her tongue, "Yes, it is, so you need to remember she is still your daughter."
"Mina," I cautioned her.
"And, this is your grandchild," she placed her hand on my stomach.
That did it. He stood up abruptly and pointed to the door. "Get out right now!" he yelled.
"Dad?" Shingo called from upstairs.
"Stay up there for a bit, Shingo," my mother warned.
He started to walk down the steps, "But, what's going on? Why is dad yelling?" Mom got up and hurried to take Shingo back to his room. She shushed him as he protested.
I turned to Minako and frowned, "You should go." I could tell she didn't want to leave me, but I gently pushed her arm, "I will be okay. Go on." Apprehensively, she did as she was told and left me alone with my father.
I wanted to crumble before him, but I did my best to hold my own. "Dad, I should have never made the choices I did. I was foolish and irrational," I said with as much maturity as I could muster, "If I could, I would go back and make better choices, but I can't."
"So, what will you do?" he asked me, his voice slightly more even.
At first, I had no idea. My life from this point on was no longer my own. I didn't even know how to comprehend what to do. I was a senior in high school, not even considered a real adult, and I was pregnant. Fear claimed me. My future no longer made any sense to me. I didn't know if I would go to college or find a job. I wondered what people would say; I was pregnant with no husband, not even a boyfriend.
I let my hand rest on my lower abdomen, and, for a moment, all of the questions ceased. There was a warmth that was different than I had ever noticed before. It was light, but present. Suddenly, I felt my lungs open, and a deep, clear breath left my mouth. A peace washed over me. There was a new life within me, a new purpose ahead of me. Unexpectedly, a newfound confidence rushed over me. "Dad, I will do as you have done for me. You have made sacrifices and loved me everyday of my life. You love me in a way that makes me feel safe and wanted. That is what I will do for this baby inside of me. If I can be half the parent you are for me, then this baby will be treasured."
"But, I didn't keep you safe." His eyes started to glisten. This alarmed me; I had never seen him so burdened and frail. He spoke with a soft, sad tone, "Usagi, if I had protected you, this wouldn't have happened."
I shook my head in protest, "Dad, this wasn't your responsibility. I made a decision, a wrong one, but I have to go forward with the result of that choice. But, I don't want to look at this baby as a consequence. I know it changes everything in my life now, but I want to take care of this baby." My voice caught as I fought the urge to cry again, "But, I don't want to lose you. Please don't hate me." I lost the fight. I put my face in my hands and wept.
Arms circled around me, his hand pulling my head into his chest. "Usagi, I do not hate you; I never will. I just worry for you and what this will do to your life."
"I know," I sobbed, "I need you."
He kissed the top of my head, "I'm here. I promise." I wrapped my arms around him and held tight.
"I'm here for you too," my mother hugged me from behind; I hadn't heard her come down the stairs, but I was so glad that she had. "We love you, sweet girl," she rested her head on mine.
I let out a deep sigh, "I love you both, too."
. . . . . . . . . .
Blue graduation caps flew into the air as my class celebrated the final part of our high school career. It was hard to believe that it was over. Everyone's faces blurred together amongst a sea of blue. I heard a shout, "Usagi! Hey! Usagi!" I turned to see a beaming Minako hurrying towards me, waving her diploma with great enthusiasm. She swallowed me in hug, "We did it, Usagi! We are graduates!"
"Yes, we are!" I laughed.
She locked her elbow with me and we walked out of the crowd to the next part of our lives. With help from Minako and my parents, I finally decided what I was going to do.
I remembered those few weeks after telling my parents about my pregnancy. After we had clarified everything with my doctor, we had to decide on the best path for me to take.
Picturing myself attending the local community college brought unease. I realized that I wasn't going to be comfortable there anymore. When I questioned whether I should even go to college, my mother immediately told me I should and that she would help me as much as she could. I wanted her help, but I knew I didn't want to abuse it. Because of that, I did some research on the Internet and came across something interesting.
"Shizukesa College, it's a school for young women in Atami," I explained to them, "The majority of the girls, who are seeking secondary education, are either pregnant or new mothers." I did my best to sound mature, "I think, considering my situation, this may be a good place for me. I will probably have the baby around the end of the year, so I will get an entire semester of basic college courses out of the way."
"But," my mother protested gently, "Are you sure you will feel okay being so far from home?"
"I will," I stated, swallowing the protests my nerves were making.
Minako spoke sadly, "I don't want you to leave here, but I think you will feel better in a place where you would have a community of girls in similar situations."
I nodded, "That's what I think." I frowned, "But the price is an issue."
"Usagi, your mother and I have saved for yours and Shingo's higher education since you were little. However, the plan was that we would only continue helping you so long as your grades remained good," my father explained.
"Dad," I was surprised, "I didn't realize."
"Do you think that you will keep up with your grades?" my mother asked, clearly concerned.
"Yes, of course," I promised.
"Very well, then," my father picked up the brochure I had printed out, "I will trust this is the best for you, but I want you to remember that you are welcome to stay here."
"Of course, I know that," I smiled, "But, I think this will help me to prepare for the baby while I still get started with college."
My mother smiled as well, "I am in agreement with this as long as we talk everyday and see each other as much as possible."
"I will second that!" Minako added, causing us all to laugh.
Remembering that precious moment of encouragement gave me a sense of peace. Just like the way Minako locked arms with me now, as we left the graduation ceremony, I felt supported.
"Mina! Usagi!" Motoki waved excitedly. We hurried over to him. He took Minako into a tight embrace and gave her a quick kiss, "Congrats!"
"Thank you so much!" she gave him another kiss. I tried not to stare at them as they embraced because, while I was happy for them, I still longed for a relationship like that.
I quickly closed my eyes, trying to push those deep blue eyes and messy black hair from my mind. Even though I tried to keep my thoughts on my family, friends, school, and the baby, Mamoru would take control of me. I had searched through the Internet for any information regarding him and found nothing. I had even called Harvard only to be told that they weren't able to give out private information, no matter who I was. I took the inability to make contact with him as a sign that I had to go forward on this journey without him. No matter how many times I reminded myself that I had enough love from my family and friends, I still missed him and wished I knew why he didn't love me.
I touched my belly and understood that he was a part of what rested inside of me - our baby. I felt guilty for not getting to tell him, but there was nothing I could do. He had let me go. I was trying to do the same, but I just couldn't let go.
"Usagi, come on!" Minako called me out of my sadness. She motioned for me to follow her and Motoki, "Let's go get some pictures by the school sign." I caught up with them and grinned, again putting these pleasant moments at the forefront of my mind.
. . . . . . . . . .
I stuffed one last piece of clothing in my large suitcase and pushed down hard to zip it up. I grunted as I pulled it off the bed onto the floor. The loud sound startled Luna from her comfy pillow; she bolted under the bed. "Oh, Luna, it's okay!" I squatted to the ground to look under the bed. Luna's wide eyes watched me with hesitance. "I know that was a loud sound, but it's safe, I promise," I tried to coax her out.
Then, I noticed the box that I had discarded. Slowly, I pulled it out. I almost opened it but stopped myself. I didn't need to look inside. I should have tossed it when I was cleaning out the things I no longer needed, but I didn't. Instead, I lifted the loose floorboard where my journal rested and placed the box down with it.
Luna came to my side as I put the board back in place. I scratched her ear and she purred. "I'm going to miss you." I wondered if she understood that I was leaving. Her brown eyes hinted that she did.
Shingo knocked on the door, "Don't worry, I promise I won't kill her." He made a playful expression.
I went over to him and messed up his hair, "Thanks, turd." He shoved my hand in the way any silly little brother would. I smiled and hugged him against his protest, "I will see you later."
"Usagi! It's time to go!" my mom shouted from downstairs.
I pulled my suitcase to the door and paused. Glancing around the room, I took a moment and said goodbye to the stuffed animals, the posters of rabbits, the pink curtains, and the many childhood memories. I sighed and made my way to the stairs.
"Let me get it," my dad hurried and took my luggage for me.
I followed him down and went to my mother. I wiped a tear off her cheek, "I love you and will call you as soon as I get there."
"You must," she whimpered and pulled me into a tight hug. I let her hold me until my father coughed, trying to interrupt us as kindly as possible.
My dad opened the front door and pulled the luggage to the open trunk of his car. I grabbed my purse, told my mother and brother that I loved them, and followed him outside.
As I opened the car door I heard a shout. "Wait! I'm here!" Minako yelled as she raced towards me. She embraced me closely and whispered, "I haven't told anyone where you are going or why, not even Motoki."
"Thank you," I whispered back, "And, thank you for everything you have done for me. I will miss you so much."
She hugged me tighter, "I will be calling you so much that you may take that back."
"Never," I laughed. We let go of each other and I sat down in the car.
"Be safe!" she exclaimed as I shut the door. My father started the car and off we went.
The drive to the airport was quiet and all of my anxieties began to take over. I questioned if I had made the right choice or if I would even be able to handle this on my own. My lungs constricted in fear.
Unexpectedly, my father reached over and took my hand. I looked at him and the expression on his face was one that calmed me nerves. He was reminding me that I wasn't truly alone. With a kind smile, he went back to concentrating on the road.
The rest of the way to the airport was peaceful. It surprised me when we pulled up to the airport drop off; time went quicker than I thought. I got out of the car and waited for my dad to bring me my suitcase. I took my ticket out of my purse and double-checked the information. "So, you're sure you have everything?" my dad asked. I nodded and took the handle of the luggage. "So..." my father started. He looked at me for a moment, hesitant.
I pulled him close to me, "Thank you, dad. I love you."
"I love you too," he said and gave me a final squeeze. Separating, I gave him a light wave and headed into the airport.
. . .
Clouds floated softly by, shifting and changing moment by moment. The world was so far below, and I suddenly felt like I was falling. I quickly rested my head on the seat, hands gripping the armrests. It was hard to not feel like I was plummeting to the earth. I pulled on my collar to loosen it, brushing my fingers against the gold chain. I didn't know why, but I never remembered to take it off. Every time that I forgot I was wearing it, I found myself touching it. It was an involuntary movement. Then, I realized the truth. The necklace brought me comfort. That fact made me wonder if it represented something more.
I recalled Mamoru's kind smile from the night he gave me the necklace and sighed. Rubbing my hand across my belly, I whispered so quietly, "Little one, your daddy could be such a good man, but..." My attention returned to the drifting clouds, as I remembered him driving away in that taxi, "...but, he doesn't love me." I took a deep breath, "But, I promise you, baby, I will love you. I will never let you go." Closing my eyes, I drifted off, one hand on the necklace and the other over my stomach.
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Please Pardon Grammatical Errors and Review.
IMPORTANT NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR (PLEASE READ):
A lot of you send reviews saying, "don't make Usagi pregnant, that's so overdone," but it's not for me. :) Hopefully, you won't set this story aside because of that fact. There are many things coming in this story that may not be what you want to happen, but that's the fun of reading the ideas of another person. Just have faith in Usagi and Mamoru. Life sometimes takes us around the world before we end up where we are meant to be. :)