Chapter 15
"I have her, it's fine. Stop worrying before you start a snow storm." I took a breath and waited for the snow to dissipate before starting my argument again.
"It's so much more noticeable she doesn't look like you when you hold her." Nikolai gave me a frustrated sidelong glance.
"It's more believable I'm her father if I act like I am." I huffed. There was no talking to him. I caved and let him carry Alyssa, swaddled and drowsy against his chest. We followed a fair distance behind Desmond, waiting for him to touch land before we followed along down the gangway. I shivered at a cold wind blowing through half way across. For a moment I didn't think anything of it, then I realised what was nagging at the back of my mind; I don't feel the cold. I stopped and looked around only to see nothing, not even evidence there was any wind at all.
"Did you feel that?" I called to Nik. He stopped and turned around when he realised I wasn't next to him.
"Feel what?" He asked, looking worried and intrigued. I hesitated, wondering if this was something I should keep to myself.
"Never mind." I continued my way onto the dock and accepted the servant's hand to step onto the wooden structure.
"Welcome, your Majesties." I nodded my thanks to the man and followed Nik and Desmond down the docks. We didn't have to go far to make it to the castle; the Isles' royals liked to keep close to the water.
"I don't think I mentioned, just because most of my siblings are bitter and angry, does not mean we wont be getting a very warm welcome." I raised an eyebrow.
"They're here!" Someone shouted in the distance. A small stampede of feet started towards us, before I could let Nik's warning with the sounds we were engulfed into a family hug of eighteen 20 to 36 year olds, Nikolai, Desmond and myself.
"This is ridiculous." I whispered to Nikolai. He smiled,
"If you squash your niece you'll face the wrath of your brother." He yelled to the mob and they released. A woman scoffed,
"What wrath? You'll glare at us from a distance for a week? Ha, I'm trembling." Nikolai smiled when she relaxed and came up to see Alyssa.
"Well aren't you gorgeous! Not to mention lucky you didn't get stuck with your dad's face, hey?" She cooed. Once she had her fill, she stepped aside and, one-by-one, the siblings came up to see their new niece. Or, that's what they thought anyway. Each time one of them commented on her appearance I tensed and had to force myself to stop listening and relax before they caught on that the temperature, while cold, had dropped significantly.
"Alright, back down. Regroup in the ballroom." Nikolai called to his siblings. They all ran off, like overgrown teenagers, into the castle. I stepped forward to follow the mob, but was cut off by Nik's arm.
"You need to calm down. They might not have noticed this time, but they will if it happens too much. They'll start to figure out what's making you so nervous and then they'll know. The Isles is not known for its ability to keep secrets when it benefits them for others to know." I watched Lyss' face, the hint of a smile I knew well and thought I would never see again.
"I'm trying, but it's not easy to forget him. I can't forget what I can see of him in her, and what I can't see of you. Especially now, so close to…" I trailed off. Though only the beginning of winter, it was still close enough to the day Jackson died that it started to ache again. Nikolai put his hand to the small of my back, comforting but not encroaching on my space. I followed after the mob of princes and king's daughters into the castle.
"Let me hold her, please." Celeste, I'm assuming since she's the shortest and the one with the most spirit, called from across the room before we even came over the threshold. Nikolai smiled to his sister and handed Alyssa over. I breathed in and forced a warm smile, holding myself back from panicking and starting a blizzard. The mob closed in on Celeste, hiding them from my view. Now the attention was off me, I could let my smile drop and worry a little. Frost spread on my dress, but it thawed easily from the warm fabric and my commands. Nikolai grabbed my hand and let me grip it like a lifeline.
"They wont see it, they never knew him so there's nothing to compare." The thought eased my mind some, but not completely.
"I'll relax when we're home." I continued gripping his hand. I did a head count to keep my mind busy. "Who's missing?" Nik mad a questioning sound, not looking away from his siblings and his daughter.
"I only count 17, including you. Two of them are missing." Nikolai looked around at the sea of light brown and red hair.
"My guess would be Hans and Albert. Hans will be off sulking and Albert is still working for my father while he was in Arendelle." I kept counting different things. The number of Westerguard children with red hair, the number with brown hair, the number who had a mix. I counted the boys, I counted the girls. I guessed who was who, tried to remember where they were in the line. I did anything I could to keep myself calm.
"She's gorgeous." Johanna, I assume from her demeanour and the feint threat of lines on her face from age.
"Thank you." I smiled as warmly as I could.
"I have two of my own. Jonathan and Delilah." I smiled again.
"Where are they?" I looked around the ballroom and found no little feet. She shook her head, watching the gaggle of her siblings fawning over Alyssa.
"Home with their father. A small kingdom, Avalen nestled behind Corona, your cousin's kingdom if I'm correct." I nodded.
"I thought you would be one of the resistance against marriage." She smirked, not quite laughing but amused.
"I was, but my father has full control over my life, or had. Adam is in control now, but to my father's dismay he doesn't take the control too seriously; I have my freedom." I smiled at her triumph over her father's tyranny towards his daughters. "He lets me come home and continue to plead with my brother to allow the throne to success to the females. One day he'll have a daughter he loves and Albert will change his mind."
"My father didn't have any sons. If I couldn't succeed him the kingdom would have been turned over to a new family. Probably yours." She laughed again.
"Even with the new land, none of my sisters would have been able to lay a claim to it. Most likely he would have handed it to Nikolai anyway." I put a hand on her shoulder.
"He can't control everything you and your sisters do. You became a queen, and your sisters can too." She huffed,
"Find a prince or King they'll be happy with, then we'll talk about them being queens." Nikolai came back from checking Alyssa was still in one piece in the middle of the huddle.
"Not filling her head with ideas of rebellion are you?" Johanna's smile brightened,
"Never. She's much too decent for that if she married you, little brother." He wrapped his arms around her and did anything he could to emphasise his height over her. It was a struggle, they were almost the same height, but he managed it. She laughed at his attempts and released him.
"It's good to see you after so long. Adam has kept you in Avalen far too long." Johanna laughed sharply,
"Adam doesn't keep me anywhere. The children get sea sick and I didn't want to leave them too often." Nikolai caught up with his apparent favourite sister, though he claimed none of them were too happy with him. I scanned the room again, my worry almost forgotten but slowly seeping back in.
"What did Johanna say?" A chirp sounded behind me.
"Did she ask you to talk to father?" Another sounded to my left. For girls only a few years younger than myself, they seemed like young children.
"No, but I assume she figured I would without her prodding." Selene smiled to her sister.
"Do you think you can change his mind?" Celeste chirped on my left.
"Doubtful. Your father is a stubborn man from all I've seen and heard." Their faces sunk.
"True." With nothing more they sulked back over to Alyssa's new fan club and returned to their cooing.
"Okay, that's enough. You've all tired her out." Nikolai broke through the throng of royals to gently wrestle Alyssa from one of his sister's arms. "Babies need naps, so if you don't mind, mine will be taking hers." They all grumbled at him before waving to me and dispersing through the castle.
"Thank you." I smiled, taking my baby into my arms when Nik held her out to me. I breathed her in and kissed her head. She yawned at me and I realised it wasn't just a ploy to get his daughter back; she was ready to go to sleep. "Where are we staying? Your old room?" Nikolai nodded in confirmation and started to lead the way. We crossed the grounds outside the ballroom and he headed to the left wing. He went up a staircase that spread off onto several floors. He explained as we passed each one.
"Every time mother fell pregnant, we had to figure out where the new kid's room would be. It wasn't too bad until the triplets were born. My father eventually just built this wing of the castle and moved us all in. The first two floors are the elite guest rooms, which is where the next generation will stay if they're here when they're old enough for their own rooms. The third floor is Albert, Viktor and myself. Four is Alex, Rob and Drew. Five is Damian, Derek and Elias. Six is Liam, Mikey and Pete. Seven is Hans, Selene and Celeste. Eight is where Dad hides the girls; Jo, Rose and Ida. Our parents have their quarters in a separate wing." We passed the first two floors, which were empty at the moment, and made it to the third. Turning onto the floor we were met with a long corridor with three doors on one side. Naturally, Nik's room was the third at the end of the hall.
"That must have been a fun trek as a kid." He laughed and pushed open the door to the room of fabric-covered furniture and a bassinet. I smiled at the beautiful piece of furniture. Setting Alyssa down she closed her eyes and fell asleep. I pulled the blanket over her and turned back to the room. As I did, I felt another cold wind that wasn't of my making. I glanced at the windows and they were all latched. Nikolai didn't seem to notice again.
"Let's get these sheets off." I pulled one off the bed to find it perfectly made. I folded them as I went and made a stack in the corner to replace them when we left.
"So have you worked out you're worrying about nothing yet?" Nikolai smiled a triumphant grin. Another cold wind brushed my skin.
"Not yet."