A/N: Thanks to my lovely beta, KiwiCantDance, for her support and for making this chapter as effing perfect as I'm gonna get!! Please vote for this story in The Twilight Awards in the categories of ANGST/DRAMA and POST-BD! Yes, it will say by PeaceLoveTwilight, that's my penname on The link to vote is www.twilightawards./?pageid88. Thanks!! If you vote for me and let me know that you did thru PM or review, I'll put your name in the credits of the next chapter and in my profile.
There was a period of time I afterwards referred to as my "Shadow Period", during these few months it seemed as though I was living in the past. I would always find shadows, nostalgic memoirs of my life before Renesmee. In particular, I saw Edward in every little forsaken, admittedly beautiful detail.
Sometimes Jacob or my daughter would catch me staring at what seemed like nothing or air to them, but it was everything to me for hours on end. I might have seen the exact shade of Edward's hair in the sunlight, and then lost it; or thought I heard Claire De Lune playing somewhere off in the distance when it turned out to only be the wind, an annoying background noise that made my mind wander.
Of course the both knew something was wrong, they just couldn't figure out what that something was.
One day, over at our house, they had turned on some ballad and begun slow-dancing in the living room, just for the fun of it. The way they held each other made me remember the time when Edward had taken me to the alleged Forks High School prom, even though I never really wanted to.
It was so perfect, so right. His cold hands grasped my lower back, making me shiver in delight. His eyes catching mine, eliciting a blush from myself. We danced. He twirled me, he spun me, and I often heard him chuckling in loving amusement as I tripped over my own feet.
My hands would nervously grip unto his shoulders, but when he held me, it was right. He had the ability to make me relax. To assure myself of what I already knew: I was in good hands. Oh, the finale, for the finale…Edward leaned over my face and kissed me. I closed my eyes and was trapped inside a oh-so-welcomed delirium. He tasted like nothing I had ever tasted before, simply amazing. I slowly opened my eyes to meet his syrupy-golden gems, but—what?—this certainly was not Edward!
I gasped as recognition told me whose eyes I was staring into, "Jacob?" I collapsed to the floor in shock.
"Bella, Bella, are you alright?" he shook me, alarmed.
"I—I—" I got to my feet and looked around. I was no longer at the prom with Edward, I was just in my living room, "I just—I don't know."
"It's okay," he used his soothing voice, "I'm—we're here."
"Just a daydream," I sighed, "...Just a daydream." I lifted myself onto the couch and let out another breathy sigh, "I'm lost."
Renesmee hurried over to sit next to me. "Mom, are you sure you're okay?" Her eyes were filled with genuine concern.
"Dear, dear Renesmee." I smiled, "You're so beautiful. Have I ever told you that?"
She smiled back, and her eyes were wet, "Yes." It was only a whisper. She gave me a kiss on the cheek. With this I was lifted into another daydream; one of the happiest times in my life. The meadow…
Jake confronted me late at night, while Renesmee was in bed, "Bella, I just don't know. Are you sure nothing's wrong?"
"I—" I stopped. I wasn't sure how to explain how I had suddenly become lost in the past, "I keep remembering—things."
He nodded sympathetically. I didn't have to say the name out loud for him to understand. "Why now, Bella?"
"I don't know. It just came upon me." I hung my head and shook my head at Jacob. He was silent. We both were. We couldn't think of anything to say. What was there to say, anyway?
"I see him—everywhere!" I cried out suddenly. I wanted desperately for Jacob to understand something I didn't understand myself.
He looked down, his brows tightly knit with worry. "It's okay, Bella. I'm sure you'll get over it somehow. You're so strong, so strong."
"I thought I was over him," I laughed shakily, "I thought—" I couldn't continue.
"I thought you were too," he said, disappointed but gentle. Then he looked at me strangely, shook his head, and walked away.
That's when I saw Renesmee at the top of the stairs, watching, listening. Right then, seeing her there and me being here like this, it made me want to cry.