He can't love you, he's told himself. You shouldn't love him, he's told himself.

And yet, you do.

When the door to his office aboard the bridge slides open, he doesn't even bother to look up from the datapad. Even as the hulking black figure comes striding into the room, he still doesn't lift his gaze from the report he is reading.

The silence in the room is now near deafening but this doesn't bother Hux in the slightest as he continues to work, gloved fingers absentmindedly tapping on the screen. However, his companion does seem to mind the quiet. He shifts upon his feet every few seconds, the soft leather of his gloves squeaking when he clenches his fists. Eventually, he grows too impatient.

"You requested my presence, General?"

Finally, he raises his eyes from the screen in his palm, the blues of his irises somehow icier than normal, "Yes, Ren." He nods to one of the chairs before his desk. "Sit."

When the man fails to move, the redhead glowers at him and takes a moment to return to his work. Ren, sensing that he is going to be ignored once more, decides to speak.

"What do you want, Hux?"

At his snappish tone, the man lifts his icy eyes towards the knight once more. He can't keep his lip from curling up slightly in anger. "Naivety isn't becoming of you, Ren." He sneers as he sits forward and places his datapad down. "The Supreme Leader is not pleased with your treatment of Lieutenant L/N."

The taller man's head snaps up and the General can feel the weight of his gaze as his hatred begins to bore into him, "Of course you would have a hand in this." His fists clench at his sides. "Where is she?" Hux is silent and still as he sits in his chair, the calm in his cool eyes only angering the knight further. "Where. Is. She?" He repeats his question, his voice dripping with pure malice. It would have made any lesser man crumble but the General remains passive and fails to respond once more. With little hesitation, the Commander turns sharply on his heel and begins to storm towards the door, "I will find her myself."

"She doesn't want to see you, Ren." His words cause the man to pause, his spine rigid. Ever so slightly, he turns his head back towards the General. The redheaded man sighs heavily, "I feel as though it is wise to inform you that she submitted a transfer request to me this morning. She wants to move bases."

He doesn't have to see the knight's face to know what the man is thinking, or rather, plotting, in all actuality. Find the requests, destroy them, keep her on board.

"I have yet to finalize the paperwork and send it through."

Ren scoffs and turns back to fully face the man, "As if you have any say in the matter. She bears my child, not yours." He takes a single step back towards the General's desk, "She will remain on the Finalizer and be monitored by our onboard physicians. She has everything she needs here."

Hux sits quietly for a long moment, his brow furrowing deeply and the knight can see the minor shift of his mood in his eyes, "This is exactly the reason why she left you." He growls lowly, his own hand clenching softly into a fist out of aggravation. "You know what this means, don't you? The Supreme Leader taking your child as his apprentice?" The General hesitates to speak for a moment, waiting for the Commander to understand what he is implying.

When the man fails to respond, the redhead decides to spare him the energy of processing the thought.

"He means to replace you when the child is old enough; when he no longer has any need for you." He turns in his seat towards the large holo projecting above his desk, fully intending to go back to work when he feels as though the conversation is beginning to come to a close. "I hope that when the time comes, your own child is the one to kill you, Ren." He clicks on a text box and begins to respond to a message regarding a problem down in sanitation regarding waste disposal, his fingers rapidly moving across the keyboard projected onto the desktop. "They will kill you without a second thought if the Supreme Leader commands it. And it is all because they won't even know who you are besides the Master of the Knights. You will not to have mattered to them at all."

His fists clench once more and, despite Hux not being Force-sensitive, he can feel the air begin to crackle around him, "This doesn't concern you, Hux."

"Oh, it doesn't? L/N is one of my officers." The General sits forward in his chair and he dips his head slightly while tilting it in an effort to meet the knight's gaze which has dropped slightly. "And what about L/N?" He asks after a moment, his voice quiet when he speaks, "Have you even once asked her what she wants?"

Ever so slightly, the visor on the helmet lifts and his hands relax, his shoulders dropping slightly as he considers his companion's words. However, after a moment of holding the other man's gaze, he turns his head sharply to the side, the tenseness returning to his body full force. Once more, his hands curl into vices.

"It-It doesn't matter what she wants." He murmurs, his voice strangely soft. "The Supreme Leader... I do as he commands." He shifts slightly in place, the tattered cowl around his neck swaying behind him. "Y/N is to do as he commands."

For a moment, the General is silent, allowing the knight's words to sink in. He feels the strong urge to sigh and rub a hand over his face; he hates how mindless Ren is at times. Hates how he bends so easily to the Supreme Leaders will.

He sneers softly into his own folded hands at the prospect that he perhaps misses the days when Kylo Ren had only just joined rank with the First Order and was in every right, endlessly defiant of everyone aboard the ship, including himself. Not that that prospect had changed in slightest. However, Hux can only wonder what Snoke has done to break the young Force-user to do his will so easily and without a single question of his authority.

Nonetheless, the redhead sighs and looks to once more to his co-commander, "The Lieutenant is at one of the most difficult points in her female life and you are going to make it even more hellish for her." He softly shakes his head in disbelief and decides to try a different approach, one similar to the one he gave you. "Do you have feelings for her?"

The sightless visor snaps back around to look at him, "You would like to know, wouldn't you?"

Hux scoffs at his remark and leans back in his seat, "I don't intend to use her for our petty squabbles, Ren." He can't keep his lip from curling upwards slightly in disgust. "I already know enough of your secrets that I could tear you apart with just two words." He warns, his voice low. However, after a moment, he takes a deep breath and regains his typical air of indifference. "She is not to be a piece in our games. That was never my intention."

The Commander is silent for a long moment, simply staring back at the redhead. Once upon a time, Hux may have shifted beneath the unnerving, sightless gaze of the knight's helmet but he had long ago desensitized himself to its stare.

"What are your intentions, then? With her?"

"I have none." He gestures dismissively with his hand. The helm bows forward and he swears that the man's shoulders fall in relief. "None that are concerning anyway." It lifts ever so slightly once more. "She is simply a gifted woman and does not deserve this fate that has been bestowed upon her. Not by Snoke... and not by you." He angles his head once more so that he can catch the man's gaze. "So, I will ask once more, do you have feelings for her?"

Ren doesn't speak for a long while, his head turning away as he is once more unable to hold the redhead's gaze. "As Force-users and as the Knights of Ren, we are not to allow sentiment to cloud our minds; to allow attachments to distract us."

Now, the General truly did roll his eyes and he lets a slow exhale out through his nose in an effort to contain the shout that wishes to rip itself from his throat. "Yes... I have read many... tomes and passages about both sides of the Force. However, your predicament sounds more like an issue of a Jedi rather than a Sith."

He can feel the air in the room crackle an thicken again with tension.

"You dare to lecture me on the Force?" The knight's fists clench dangerously once more and Hux swears that he feels something nonexistent brush along his neck. "The Sith are extinct."

"Yet you mean to say that your knights weren't born from the Darkness? Did your ideals not stem from ideas from the ancient teachings of the Sith and their own code?" He shoots to his feet, his chair spinning and rolling backwards from the sudden force. "Your passion gives you strength, does it not?" Ren says nothing but he is now physically shaking, the soft leather of his gloves squeaking as his nails dig into his palms through the fabric. However, when the Commander fails to respond, Hux decides to push just a little further, "DAMNIT, REN! ANSWER ME!" He slams his hands down on his desk as he snarls towards the knight, a cup of pens tipping over in the process. "DO YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOUR WHORE?"

His shouting and pressing seems to have the desired effect. However, perhaps, it has worked a bit too well when he feels his air supply suddenly cut off as something begins to crush his windpipe.

"DON'T CALL HER THAT."

Hux, however, remains calm and doesn't balk at the sudden loss of air. He clenchs his jaw tightly in an attempt to keep his face passive despite the fact that it is turning red. He finds that he can still move but has no desire to. Instead, he stays in place and watches as the helmet is wretched off of Ren's head with one hand and is tossed aside. His expressive eyes seem to burn through the man with his rage, his arm is still raised and stretched towards the General as an invisible fist clenches around his throat.

"YES!" Ren snarls as he quakes, spit flying from his mouth. "ARE YOU SATISFIED NOW?!" His voice reverberates around the room and no doubt, even the officers outside and down the hall can probably hear the taller man shouting. As he continues to rage, the General feels himself lift into the air slightly, the toes of his boots just touching the floor. "YOU KNOW NOTHING OF THE FORCE!" Hux swears that the hold around his throat is tightening impossibly further. "I WAS NEVER STRONGER THAN WHEN I WAS WITH Y/N. I AM STRONG NOW."

They remain that way for a moment longer and the redhead's lungs scream for air. He simply raises a hand to his throat but knows that he can do nothing as his face continues to darken in color.

When he senses that the General is fading, Ren recognizes his error and slowly lowers his arm until he carefully places his companion back on the ground. The hold around Hux's throat dissipates and he can't help but sputter and gasp for breath when he feels his windpipe open.

It takes him a few minutes to regain his breathe as he stands doubled over his desk, one hand braced on the desktop while the other rubs at his sore throat. Eventually, though, the General coughs hard and his esophagus burns from the act. Still rubbing at the tender flesh, he raises his eyes, which are no doubt bloodshot, to find that the knight is standing in the same place he had been before, his body is still slightly askew after he fell into his rooted stance to summon the Force. His eyes are lowered to the ground and his lips twitch, his mind no doubt racing.

"I am strong." He finally speaks, his voice soft as if he were trying to convince himself of his words. "And, yet... somehow, simultaneously, I am weak."

Hux winces as he attempts to swallow but he nonetheless feels a slight smirk curl at his lips. At least he had elicited the response he was looking for. Maybe hearing it out loud will convince Ren of his own feelings.

"I spoke so long with the Supreme Leader over the matter." He closes his eyes and shakes his head slightly as if attempting to clear his mind. "It was hours before I was able to convince him to spare her. To convince him to let Y/N live and to not terminate the child. When I told him that I could already sense the Force in the fetus, he expressed an interest in pursuing it as an apprentice one day... That is only why he spared her. Otherwise, she is as expendable to him as any other stormtrooper." The frown upon his face deepens. "He fears that I will be ruled by my attachments to them. That I will be ruled by the Light."

"And you've been trying to convince him otherwise." Ren gives a small nod in response. The General only frowns softly and shake his head. "She truly is far more valuable than he believes." Hux states, displeased with this new revelation. "So, his aforementioned displeasure with your treatment of her was a lie. He has been watching... Is no doubt instead pleased that you are shying for your attachments."

He nods again, "When someone can see into your mind with such ease, what else am I to do?" He shuddering breath escapes him as his eyes clamp shut more tightly and he shakes his head again. "I can't let him see to keep her alive."

The General can't but suddenly feel strangely sympathetic for the man who he typically loathes. He has been acting like a right twat lately to keep his lady love alive. A man who has had nothing for so long and when he finally has something—someone—to make his life worthwhile, he must push her aside to keep her safe. "So... That's why you've been neglecting her."

He nods once more.

"But... that's not the only reason you have been acting so distant... Is it?" Hux leans forward slightly, his fingertips pressing lightly onto the desktop. "I know that you're... afraid. And you have reason to be. We both do. Our fathers—" The General sighs heavily, his own head dropping for a moment. The dark haired man slowly lifts his head, his eyes now longer burning with rage but he instead looks unsettlingly vulnerable. "Your father simply was simply... gone, helping to support a rebellion. And mine... Well, mine simply resented every fibre of my being."

Ren is still for a moment before he releases another shuddering breath, his gloved hands raising to rub across his face as he takes a few steps further into the room. He collapses heavily into one of the chairs before Hux's desk, head in his hands as he rests his elbows on his knees.

"I..." He murmurs and Hux feels his brow furrow when he realizes that the man's shoulders are shaking. " I... I am... terrified, Hux." He admits, his voice cracking as it wavered. "I am terrified of what the child will become."

The General can only gaze at the other man for a long moment and he slowly feels his near indestructible resolve begin to falter. One of the most feared men in the galaxy is crumbling right before him. Hux almost feels humbled.

He had never viewed Ren how Ren saw himself: a murderous monster. One who was incapable of feeling or finding love.

Hux takes a few steps towards his companion, making sure to move slowly so that if Ren so pleases, he can move away. Instead, when the redhead comes to stand beside him, he doesn't move. He does flinch slightly when the General rests a hand on his shoulder but does not jerk from his touch like Hux expects him to.

His chest heaves as he struggles to get his words out, "What do I do?" He allows his head to hang lower than before. "Please... tell me."

Honestly, Hux isn't sure what to say. This has to be one of the only times that he is unprepared—that he doesn't have a snappy remark to fire back at the knight like he typically does when they argue. It is inappropriate in such circumstances, either way.

"Just..." He sighs and shakes his head softly as he searches his mind for any scrap of wisdom he can offer the man. " You just need to... try. For L/N, for the baby. They will not ask much of you, I am certain. Just that you try your damnedest for the both of them."

"But what about Y/N?" He lifts his head slightly, his eyes only briefly holding his co-commander's. "She's smart. Almost too smart for her own good." He shakes his own head, "She will not take me back."

"You'd be surprised." Hux removes his hand from Ren's shoulder. The dark haired man frowns as he watches the General. "The reason you hurt her so deeply is because she has found it somewhere, in the nature of her good heart, to somehow care for you." He clasps his arms behind his back once more, returning to his formal state. "And, keep in mind, that, of all people, she picked you." He shakes his head slightly as he turns and begins to slowly pace back around to the other side of his desk. "What a brave woman."

The man huffs out a humorless laugh, "I highly doubt she will just take me back—"

The General can't help the smirk that twists his lips as he turns back to face his companion, "You may try apologizing to her. I've heard doing so typically works well." He gestures offhandedly, ignoring the scathing look of annoyance that's being leveled on him. "But, in all seriousness. Bare yourself to her." The knight's brow wrinkles further in both confusion and anger. He opens his mouth to object but the redhead raises his hand to stop him. "No, hear me out. Apologize and listen to what she has to say—what she wants." Hux himself frowns softly. "No doubt, you will view it as weakness but what you have just done before me..." He gestures to the man's entirety. "Expose your mind. Admit your defeat and perhaps, if you are lucky, she will accept you once more."

He nods slowly in understanding, his eyes becoming distant for a moment, "What about Snoke?"

Again, Hux just waves his hand dismissively. "Just... be there. Be there with her. Assist her when she needs it; even the smallest of things can mean the most to her. Simple things... Things that Snoke will see as acts of necessity rather than affection but will still speak worlds to L/N."

Ren bobs his head once more in understanding, his eyes rapidly moving about the room as his mind races. Rising from his seat, he extends his arm and the General watches intrigued as the helmet lifts from its place on the floor and levitates across the room until it meets the man's outstretched palm. He looks down into the sightless visor for a moment before raising his eyes to look up at the redhead.

"Will you take me to her?"

Inhaling through your nose, you shift beneath the covers, your toes popping as you curl them absentmindedly. Your muscles also quiver as you stretch slightly, everything going taut for a moment before you relax back onto the surprisingly soft mattress beneath you.

However, when you go to turn over, you feel a warm weight upon your lower half and, out of sheer curiosity, you allow your eyes to crack open. The room is rather dark, as you usually prefer it.

Despite the gloom of the room, you can make out the little lump that rests across your thighs and when you reach your hand down, a moist nose touches at your fingertips only half a moment before a rough tongue rasps over them. You can't help the small, sleepy smile as it appears on your lips, your hand moving lower to pass gentle over the cat's fur.

Her purring begins to fill the quiet of the room.

"Good morning, Millicent." You say softly and when the cat realizes that your eyes are in fact open and you're awake, she begins to carefully pad across the pale gray comforter towards you, her steps measured and a little unsure from the depressible, unstable surface of your squishy body beneath her toes. However, she eventually makes it up to your chest. The cat unintentionally steps on one of your breasts and you wince before raising your hands to gently maneuver her so that she may lay down in the valley between the two of them.

You had been waking up like this for the past two weeks: a rather comfortable bed, a dark room, and the warm comfort of a cat upon your person.

Laying there and stroking her for a bit longer, you eventually lift your head to glance at the chronometer upon the nearby end table. You are relieved to have found that you still have about a fifteen minutes before your alarm goes off. You can relish a bit longer in the peace.

Perhaps I will invest in a cat one day, you think.

When your alarm does start to permeate the air, you sit up, the ginger tabby jumping down from her perch upon your torso so that she sits on the comforter next to you. After shutting off your alarm, you remain upright in bed for a moment before you are slipping from beneath the covers.

Striding across the room, you pluck the hanger from the peg on the coat rack upon the wall that holds your freshly pressed uniform, being careful not to disturb the heavy greatcoat that hangs beside it only one peg over.

Exiting the office, you make your way into the 'fresher, Millicent's bell jingling on her collar as she trots down the hall after you, mewling as the door to the rest room slides open.

With much grievance in your heart, you keep her out and close the door to quickly change into your uniform. While you are in front of the mirror, you also twist your hair back into a regulation bun and then smooth your hands down the front of the crisp black fabric formed to your person.

You can't help but pause and notice that the fabric is starting to tighten a bit over both your chest and your abdomen and are dismayed; you will eventually have to get your clothes altered. Nonetheless, you rest your palm upon the ever-growing protrusion of your belly.

When you hear another mewl from outside of the room, you turn away from your own presentable reflection and exit.

As you prepare and eat a simple breakfast at the island in the kitchen, Millicent sits on the counter beside you (Hux hasn't reprimanded her yet for the action when he was in his rooms so you hadn't taken to doing so either), her green eyes intent at the prospect of being fed despite the fact that she had just emptied her food bowl when her owner had left a few hours prior.

When the hour draws to a close, you glance once more at the chronometer on the wall before slipping your boots on near the doorway. The cat sees you off at the door and with a few gentle strokes to her head, you leave the General's quarters, back ram-rod straight and chin held high.

After an uneventful and long shift down supervising 'trooper training in the southeastern end of the Finalizer, you finally make it back later that night. You are just toeing off you boots beside the door after using the 'fresher when there is a chime from the comm system, alerting everyone in the room that someone is presently at the door.

You wince slightly and begin to quietly sneak back towards the bedroom, scooping the orange tabby into your arms on your way by.

It doesn't look good for your reputation as Lieutenant if people saw you frequenting the General's quarters. You just have to let them be; it's not like they could tell that you are in there either way.

Making sure to stay as quiet as possible, you eventually make it back into the office, stroking Millicent the entire way to keep her from meowing. When you pass through the door, you shut it behind you and sit down on the makeshift bed: the surprisingly comfortable pull-out mattress from Hux's sofa that he keeps in his office.

Luckily, however, the chiming only sounds once more before it is silenced entirely; whoever had been at the door had evidently grown impatient and left.

You lay back on them bed and keep the cat on your chest, your fingers absentmindedly combing through her hair. Eventually, your eyes begin to grow heavy from contentment and you allow them to slip closed.

When you next wake, it's because you can hear voices murmuring outside the office in the living room. At first, still trapped in your foggy state, you can't find it in yourself to be concerned. It's just another officer needing to speak with the General, no doubt. Everything is fine.

However, the longer you lay there, peacefully staring at the ceiling while listening to the lull of the conversation, you realize that you recognize the low drone of the voice accompanying Hux's own smooth timbre.

Then, all of a sudden, there is the gentle thudding of boots upon the durasteel floors and they're getting closer to the office. Sitting up, you hold Millicent to your chest with one hand while the other aides your stomach muscles in propping yourself up.

The door to the office then cracks open, causing artificial light to spill into the room. A face peers through the small crack and when the intruder realize that you are awake, the door swings open more fully, revealing General Hux to you.

You don't go rigid or salute him; he's chastised you in the following weeks for doing so, claiming that you're his guest in his home and that you shouldn't always have to be at attention in his presence.

Opening your mouth, you are about to at least greet the man but instead pause when he stepped further into the room and stands by the door. His expression gives way little to nothing, the hardness you are accustomed to when you work with him on the bridge was still in place. However, there is the barest hint of concern playing in his eyes as he scans over your person.

After a moment of silence, he turns his head back towards the illuminated hallway and, a breath later, the hulking black form of Kylo Ren.

Sitting up straighter in bed, the cat scrambles from your arms and jumps down off the bed, only to slip out of the room and run down the hall passed the dark knight now standing in the doorway.

Turning your head, you look accusingly to Hux, your own eyes hardening as your eyes lock with his own. You find that he cannot hold your gaze for long, the betrayal evident in your eyes causing a short pang of regret to rocket through him.

Perhaps this was not the best idea.

Ren steps inside and then the General is moving, pulling on the door. He nods once to his co-commander but keeps his eyes low as he shuts the door, looking at you once last time through the crack to reassure himself that this is what has to happen. This is what needs to happen.

The silence in the room is near deafening and you can't help but absentmindedly fist the fabric of your trousers in your palm, your own eyes diverted down to the foot of the bed where the black duvet is folded neatly.

"I thought I told you to never speak to me again." You say, your voice soft but it nonetheless cracks through the quiet air between you two. You don't feel his typical heavy gaze upon you and it strikes right into your soul because still he won't fucking look at you. "Why have you come here?" Your voice is louder this time. "What do you want?"

The towering form before you says nothing; his helmet still dipped as he averts his eyes.

"What do you want from me, Kylo?" Your voice is once more soft and god damnit, you can feel your eyes burning again with the want to cry—you'd just gotten over this bullshit mentally—why was this happening? "Please... don't... Just—"

You open your eyes—you haven't even realized that they closed—when the heavy footfalls once more sound through the quiet of the room. He's closed the distance between the two of you and the man towers over you for a moment.

There's nothing else you can do but to look up at him, your eyes glassy with hurt.

Much to your surprise, the man is suddenly dropping to his knees at your feet, disregarding the pain that no doubt shoots through his limbs at the impact. For the first time in your life, you've just then thought of Kylo Ren as small what with how he sat before you, his shoulders hunched and head ducked slightly.

He then turns his face skyward so that he looks directly up at you, the faceless helm and sightless visor providing you nothing.

Are you even sorry?

The thought creeps through your mind before you can stop it.

Raising your hand, you allow your thumb to gently trace over one of the lines of chrome plating around the visor. Damn everything... you missed him. You missed him.

You miss the man who would sometimes lift the bottom of his helmet just enough to kiss you when passing each other in a deserted corridor. You miss the man who would hold you through the night, his arms constricting so tightly around as if he thought that if he let you go, he would never get you back. You miss the man would look at you so endearingly that sometimes, you could read the words I love you in his eyes without ever having heard him speak the phrase out loud before.

But, that man... You hadn't seen him in a long while.

You don't keep your thoughts to yourself and instead allow them to project, or at least, what you think is projecting. Either way, you try to make your thoughts loud so that Kylo knows: knows how hurt you are, knows what he has done.

Part of you wants to order him away again, to leave the Finalizer behind entirely and start somewhere anew. Somewhere you don't have to see him. And another part of you... Another part doesn't want that at all.

Without looking away, his gloved hands raise and click the locks on either side. After the muzzle has finished swinging out, he pulls the helmet from his head, his hair tumbling from its confines into the typical tousled yet wonderful mess around his shoulders. He then drops the helm, allowing it to fall to the side with a hallow thud, the thing completely discarded and forgotten.

And those eyes, those damned eyes, are looking up at you, their honeyed depths so soulful that it felt as though you don't need the Force to know what he was thinking. His eyes say it all.

When you raise a hand and gently pass your fingers through his hair, his eyes slide closed and he leans into your touch. He no doubt tries to hide it but you take notice of the way that his lips quiver as he turns his face, his long nose nuzzling into your palm and wrist. Your other hand also rises to gently cup his cheek, your thumb carefully caressing the fading scar along his face as you had done with his helmet moments before.

I am.

"Y/N." He whispers your name so softly, you first think that you had only imagined it. However, his hands rise from where they rested in his lap and circle around you to fist into the fabric of your uniform top, the large man ever so slightly rising up on his knees to do so. His lips only quiver more. "I... I'm—"

God damnit, you are weak.

"Shh..." You tell him softly as open your knees wider. Your fingers circle behind his head and you gently pull him closer. "Shh... It's okay."

You know that he's never been good with words and probably never will be. But, still, it is his actions that count. How he's submitted and bared himself before you at your feet; laid himself out so you could see his absolute agony and his weakness.

He buries his face in the fabric over your stomach and you can't help yourself when you curl over him, your hands carding gently through his hair and rubbing along his neck and back to soothe him. You don't say a word when you feel the fabric begin to moisten and his body jolt with silent sobs.

And, you had only witnessed it a few times over your time spent together but Kylo would sometimes accidentally project thoughts or emotions into your own mind when he was overwhelmed by his emotions.

A few times, it had been in one of his fits of rage. You could feel him storming across the ship and he came sweeping into the room, his helmet being launched across the room to crash into the wall as vicious screams of rage ripped from his throat. Most times, however, it was during sex when he often poured his own pleasure back into you so that it was a constant loop of need and satisfaction between the two of you; other times, it was when the two of you were basking in the afterglow of your climaxes, your sweaty limbs tangled as you lay across his broad chest, his fingers tracing light patters along your spine. There had been another time... After Starkiller had erupted.

Kylo had been lying near dead in the medbay. When you had found out, you had rushed to find him and he looked so broken. So in pain. So exposed. You'd felt the stabbing grief and loss in him without him wanting you to but didn't understand why he was feeling such emotions. But, then, you'd also felt his absolute relief when you came striding into his private room—the simple affection he'd felt when he realized you'd come to stay with him and was just as worried as he'd been about you.

Right now... Right now was definitely one of those times; in fact, the strongest of all the instances that had occurred so far.

Please-please-please-need you-i'm so scared-please-don't leave me-who could ever love a monster?-you shouldn't-why do you?-maybe you'd be better off without me-happy-please-Y/N-I'm so, so scared-you'd be safe without me-the general was right-i can't do this-i miss you-please—

It is almost unbearable to listen to his string of consciousness so you squeeze your eyes shut tightly, the tears present before spilling from your eyes as you hod him and continue to stroke his hair, "It's alright, Kylo." You whisper, bowing forward so that you can press your lips into the silky raven locks. He clutches more tightly at you and you return the favor, holding him just as tight, "I've got you."

I have all the feels right now.

But, for reals. Holy shit, you guys. So many kudos for only three chapters? I am so humbled. I'm glad you guys are enjoying it!

Also, I still question Hux. Does he seem in character? Or is he too OOC now? I can't decide because we don't have enough info on his character and it's making me crazy.

Anyway, if you would like to see more or have suggestions for me, go ahead and drop a kudo or a comment!
Love,

Blue

P.S. You can bother me over on my tumblr at blueeyedwolf33. No seriously. Do it. I like talking to people and have no friends. At least, no friends who like Star Wars, anyway.