Chandler knows nothing.

My colleagues didn't end up liking me, like he said they would. At all. Actually, I feel like even saying they hate me is putting it lightly.

And you know what sucks? Christmas is approaching and I just can feel myself growing more and more depressed. The pretty lights and decorations are just barely making up for the lack of boyfriend, or the awful way I'm being treated at work.

Granted, now that I've hired Joey at the restaurant my job is considerably less lonely, which is already something, but it doesn't look like my life is gonna get easier any day soon.

I had also completely forgotten that we were supposed to buy a Christmas present for Secret Santa exchange, and while Phoebe isn't at all hard to please, my mind is just not in it anymore.

Once at home, I immediately head for the shower, hoping to release at least some of the stress I feel, until, of course I'm interrupted by a familiar voice calling me from the kitchen.

After asking for a few more minutes, I get out in only my bathrobe, the sudden contact with the cool air giving me goosebumps. "What's up, honey?"

"Hey Mon! I'm sorry I interrupted your shower." Chandler says with a grin, as if he's never seen me like this.

His impish smile looks almost childlike, so I roll my eyes at him, trying not to laugh. I can't say I mind having that effect on him. "It's fine. I'd been in there for a while anyway. Did you need anything?"

It takes him a while to start talking "Yeah! I mean…I don't usually ask for these favors to you girls, but I figured you'd be more suited to help than Ross or Joey, y'know?"

I can't help but laugh at his antics. Whatever he's here for, he's obviously embarrassed about it. "Chandler, what is it?"

"Do you want to help me choose a Christmas present?"

I'm kind of confused, so I just stare before speaking up "I thought you were going to give Ross the suitcase you got with his initials engraved? The one you got for Rachel at first?"

"It's not for the Secret Santa thing. It's for Kathy. I can't decide what to get her for Christmas"

My cheekiness disappears instantly, and before I know it, I've started stuttering. He looks taken aback by my reaction and I'd feel guilty if I weren't too surprised to feel anything else. Of all the things I had planned for this holiday seasons, this was not one of them.

"Mon? It's okay if you don't want to. I know you have a job, and friends to look after. It's alright if you don't wanna come with me." he says, getting closer to hug me "I only asked you because I trust your judgement, and I had fun when we went shopping together last time" he adds, pressing a kiss to my temple, the sudden contact immediately comforting.

I pull him closer, my skin warming up despite being barely covered, the cold already forgotten. "I can help."

"You can?"

"Of course!" I tell him, my grip on him getting unashamedly tighter "Did you have something in mind?"

He breaks off the hug to sit down on the armchair, then gestures for me to sit next to him. I do as he requests, and he wraps his arm around my shoulder as I scoot closer to him and rest my head on his chest. I swear, I could stay here forever. "I have actually no idea. At first I thought I might buy her jewellery, to be all boyfriend of the year," he jokes "but then I realized Kathy doesn't really wear any jewellery at all, and I don't want to get her something that implies I never even look at her."

"Alright. Then we can cross that off the list?"

"There's a list?" Off my glare he continues "Yeah, definitely. I want something really meaningful, like the book I got for her birthday."

"Honey, on that same day you admitted you could find nothing better than that" I remind him, looking up "Give yourself a more reasonable goal."

"That's quite some advice, coming from miss 'I absolutely have to be the best at everything''' he smirks, squeezing my shoulder. That's a valid point. "Any ideas?"

I half shrug, settling against him and letting out a sigh "What does she like?"

"Umm, well I know she likes going to the movies and to the theatre, obviously, since she's an actress, but that's about it? I mean, we've talked about our interests and stuff, but nothing comes to mind that I could turn into a present."

"Well... What about tickets to a play? Would that do?"

"Mmm" he mutters "I guess. I mean, I kinda thought of that, and I could do that too, but I really wish I could get her something she can keep as well."

"A book?"

"Mon, I already got her one for her birthday."

"I'm being no help at all, am I?" I ask, my eyes almost closing as a combination of the warm shower and the heat of his body. I cuddle closer almost instinctively. He doesn't seem to mind, or notice, as he starts tracing patterns on my back.

Almost ten years of shared personal space come with their advantages.

"Hey don't say that!" looking at me, he adds "And don't fall asleep now!"

"I'm sorry, I'm just very warm and cozy right now." As he keeps looking at me expectantly, I continue with a sigh "I'm sorry, I don't really know Kathy that much, so all I can give you is generic advice, I guess."

"That's okay. Generic advice is still better than no advice at all, huh? Besides, I think we're approaching this the wrong way."

"What do you mean?" I ask, almost drifting off again.

"I mean that we live in New York city, and I'm pretty sure there's lots of stores that sell great presents for your girlfriend!"

"Fine" I say finally, disentangling from his arms and finally standing up, the word 'girlfriend' hurting me infinitely more than it should. The loss of contact is almost painful, but probably needed. The constant closeness is –shockingly- not helping my feelings at all. "Do you want me to go get dressed, so I can come shopping with you?"

He scratches his ear, and it's obvious he didn't see this coming, which is fair. I was about to fall asleep just a minute ago. "I don't know, Mon, you seem pretty tired, and you just took a warm shower, and it's not like we can't go tomorrow."

"I'm not that tired, and I have a killer shift tomorrow. If you give me a half hour, we can leave now."

I have to admit, I'm having fun.

I had imagined going present hunting for Kathy would have just reminded me that Chandler is in love with someone else, and I'd been afraid he'd end up spending the whole time talking about how amazing she was, but Chandler seems more enthralled with trying to find something that could be a good gift to be as obnoxiously in love as I feared.

He's offered me some coffee to go, and we're just strolling down the streets, looking around, pointing out random things and discussing them, just enjoying ourselves. The cool hair has woken me up from my half-slumber and Manhattan does look really pretty with all the Christmas lights and decorations.

Besides, as I probably should have expected, Chandler has stopped actually looking for a present ten minutes after leaving, and is now pointing out every tacky or ugly item he sees in the windows to make fun of it, coming up with a quick joke and then waiting for me to laugh.

To be completely honest, I'm having a lot of fun.

"You know what, I should just get Kathy that glass cat with the Santa hat we saw ten minutes ago."

"That is one original way to get a girl to break up with you!"

"Right?" he laughs "Who even buys stuff like that?"

"I don't know Chandler, I guess the kind of guy who has a huge ceramic dog at his place?" I joke.

"Oh, someone's being a smartass!"

"Maybe!" I grin "What are you gonna do about it, huh?"

"Be proud of it! I'm pretty sure it's a side effect of hanging out with me so much!" he replies "I hope it's worth it!"

I bite my lower lip, before I say something that gives me away, settling for a simple "Of course it is."

"The only bad news is we've been around for two hours, and we still have nothing." He looks at his watch "Do you think we should just go home?"

"We don't have to" I say almost immediately, not wanting the best hours I've had in a while to end so quickly. "We can keep looking for a little while."

"Are you sure? I'm fine with spending another hour going from shop to shop just to dislike everything I see, but I definitely understand if you don't."

"It's fine, really. I'm enjoying this."

He looks at me, looking for any sign that might tell him I'm lying, and when he finds none, he smiles in relief "Thank you Mon. You're the best."

"And don't you forget it." I tell him coyly, but I feel a sudden burst of warmth through my body-one I'm sure wasn't induced by my hot coffee- so I look for a way to change the subject. "I love those earrings" I say, stopping outside of a shop.

'"I thought we ruled out jewels?" He asks, joining me to look at them, resting his hands on my shoulders.

I shake my head "I don't mean as a present for Kathy. I just meant I love those earrings. Since we're not getting anything done, I might as well look around."

"Alright. So, you really like them?"

"Yeah. Sapphires are my favourite. They've actually had these for a long time though, I remember coming here years ago and seeing them."

"I'm no expert but I gotta say, they are really pretty."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah! And they'd look really good on you. Why don't you buy them?"

I snort "Chandler, you do know the reason we're doing Secret Santa this year is that we're sorta broke, right?"

"Right. Hey, maybe Santa will get them for you!"

"Chandler, you're not my Secret Santa, and even if you were, I don't want you to buy me that sort of stuff. What would Kathy think?" I say sadly, hoping he won't pick up on the tone.

He shrugs, but doesn't look convinced. "Maybe you're right."

"Come on, I know there's a great store down the street. Maybe we can still find something for her."

"I'm sorry" Chandler says, defeated, as we step into my apartment again. I look up at him curiously.

"What?"

"Oh come on! We spent three hours wandering around Manhattan looking for a present for Kathy and found absolutely nothing! And you know what the worst part is?"

"What is the worst part, Chandler?" I ask, sitting down. I'm not really sure I want to know what it is.

"I didn't even ask if you needed to buy something for Secret Santa!"

I can't help but laugh in relief. "Honey, it's okay, I got Phoebe! She thought the toilet seat covers you and Joey bought her were a great gift! I mean, it's not like I could do worse than that!"

He chuckles "Right. I'm still sorry I made you come with me just to buy nothing." He says, sitting down on the couch. I sit on the coffee table, in front of him.

"I don't mind."

"You don't?"

"Chandler, you're my best friend. Of course I don't mind spending time with you!"

He pulls me in a hug before I can even notice "I kinda like spending time with you as well, Mon."

I feel my face split in a smile as I pull back "Really?"

"Of course! You're still one of my favourite people!"

I know it's a joke, but I decide to believe he means it. Before I know it, I hear myself say "Thank you"

"Thank you Mon." He kisses my forehead lightly "I really appreciate your help."

"That's what friends do, right?"

"It is!" He looks straight in my eyes for a moment, making me suddenly uncomfortable. "Can I ask you a question?"

I immediately break the eye contact, as subtly as I can "Sure."

"What's wrong?"

My eyes grow wider and I know my breathe just stopped. Cautiously, I ask "What do you mean?"

"I mean I know something's bugging you, and I know part of it is work stuff, but I feel like there's more to it." He says sincerely, taking my hand. I gently wave him off, thinking we've shared more than enough touches for today. "What's going on with you?"

"Well there's the jerks who are treating me like crap at work..." he rolls his eyes, and I try to come up with something on the spot "and you know, it's the holidays, and I have no boyfriend or occasional date. You know, my last date was... uh.. the Thanksgiving accident" I stutter finally.

"Is that what's eating you up? That you don't have a boyfriend?" He tilts his head, and I immediately know he didn't buy it. Great.

I just look down at my hands, concentrating on how they are splayed neatly on my lap "Kinda"

He lifts my chin in an attempt to make me look up, and it feels like too much. We can't keep doing this, no matter how innocent he thinks it is. "So, that's it? You want a date? Because you could have just asked one of us to set you up." He states, and I hate that I'm lying, and I hate that he knows I'm lying, but what other choice do I have?

"I know, but it's just… I'm not really in the mood to date anyway." Off his stare, I continue "Really! Listen, I know it sounds weird, but even though I want a boyfriend I just... don't wanna go on a date right now. I feel like I have enough to handle without throwing that into the mix. You get that?"

He shrugs, relaxing "I guess. I certainly know blind dates don't always turn out for the best"

"Exactly! I don't think I wanna put myself through that, at least not right now."

He sighs, then stands up "Okay. But if you need anything, will you tell me?" I nod, and he relents "Fine. I'm supposed to meet Joey downstairs, wanna come?"

I shake my head "I'm kind of too tired for that, I'm going to watch some TV and go to bed."

"Alright. Goodnight Mon." He says, but he looks like he's considering something, and he doesn't make a move to indicate he's going anywhere.

"I'll be fine! I'm just tired, I promise."

He kisses my forehead and I make a mental note that we really need to stop doing this, and he still doesn't seem to want to move. "Mon?"

"Yeah?" I say, with a hint of annoyance.

"I really don't want to push the issue, but when you finally want to talk about what's wrong, you do know you can talk to me, right?"

I honestly feel like just telling him everything –something I've thought about doing for weeks- mostly because I hate that he thinks I'm lying to him, or that he thinks I feel like I can't tell him stuff- but then I remember he has Kathy, and I just can't bring myself to mess with his head, or his relationship.

"I will."

I don't know if he finally believed me, or if he just doesn't want to insist, but he nods and leaves with a half-smile, closing the door behind him.

I definitely need to get better at lying.

XXX

Sooooo… I cannot tell where this is going. I know perfectly what's gonna happen next chapter (continuation to this one), I know very well what the ending of this story is, but I don't know how to get there. I do know that I loved writing this chapter (is it too weird reading about a Christmas setting in September? :P) and I'd love even more to know what you guys think! Reviews are what keeps me going ;D