"You definitely need to get better at lying."

I look up from the magazine I was reading to look at Joey, who just entered the apartment. Something's telling me he's not in a good mood. "What brought this up, Joe?"

"You mean who brought it up! Chandler's been bugging me the whole day!"

He gets closer, and if I didn't know Joey is essentially the human embodiment of a big koala bear, I'd probably be intimidated by his look.

"About what?"

"Oh come on, he's not stupid! He knows something's up with you, and because I've spent the most time with you this week, he thinks I should be able to tell him what it is! And I keep telling him it's probably work stuff, but I don't think he believes it!"

"I'm sorry. I'll try to tone it down." I say guiltily. I'm glad I shared -or half shared- my secret to someone, but I know how much Joey hates lying, especially to Chandler. It's not a nice position for him.

He looks at me, and I swear he looks worried, something I don't often see in him. He sits next to me, and takes the magazine from my hands. "Do the girls know?"

I shake my head "They don't. I don't want people to know, Joey, we've been over this!"

"Right, okay. Okay! Don't get defensive on me! I'm just asking! So, nobody knows, other than me?"

"Well I know it too…" I say, frustrated. He rolls his eyes at me, and I guess I deserve it.

"Just because you like him doesn't mean you have to be a smartass like him."

Touché.

"Sorry."

He smiles, then adds "Do you need to talk?"

I appreciate what he's trying to do, really, but it feels weird to even think about talking to Joey about the unrequited feelings I have. I've definitely had unrequited feelings before, but it's usually Phoebe and Rachel I go to when I need advice. This is all new to the both of us.

"I don't… know?"

"Mon, I don't want you to feel pressured, and if you want to keep it a secret that's fine! I'll handle it! I just want to know if you're okay."

His eyebrows furrow and he starts staring at me, and I feel like maybe telling him wasn't a great idea after all. Sure, sharing it with someone felt liberating, but right now I feel like he's expecting me to do something about it, and I know for a fact I'm not ready for it.

Besides, Joey hates keeping secrets.

"There's not much to it, really. I love him, he loves someone else. It's as simple as that."

He buries his face in his hands, which is an odd reaction to have. It's not like I'm telling him anything new.

"You love him? You said it was just a crush!"

Oh. So much for that.

"Joe…"

"Mon, you need to face this! No wonder he thinks you're miserable, you go Christmas shopping for Kathy together and you love him?"

"Hey! I did not look miserable then, I had fun!" Off his questioning look, I add "I did! I enjoyed it!"

"Well, you look miserable now! And don't tell me it's about work! I still see some of the guys from the restaurant and I know they've been treating you a lot better since you fired me!"

I shrug it off. "It's not about work, Joey. I look miserable because I am miserable. There's not much I can do about it." I admit openly. If he's gonna have to keep lying for me, he deserves the full truth. "You're right, I should just get better at lying, at least untill I figure it out."

He hugs me, and I instantly feel better. It's short lived, but comforting. "You know what? Scratch that, pretend I didn't say it. Bottling things up is obviously not helping. Don't do that. You need to open up."

"Joe, I can't tell him, I…"

"No, I know, he has Kathy, you can't tell him about your feelings, I get it! I do! That's why I asked if you needed to talk, or if you told the girls! I know you keep saying this is not a big deal, but it's big enough that he noticed something's wrong! He's worried about you, he thinks you're mad at him."

It's my turn to look exasperated. "I'm not mad at him!"

"I'm not saying you are! It's just... he thinks you are, and he won't change his mind if you keep hiding in here!"

"I'm not!"

He gives me a look, and I exhale "I just... everytime I come to your place he's with Kathy, Joe."

"Right. And what are you going to do, exactly? Avoid him untill you get over him, or untill he breaks up with her?"

He's not wrong. I'm not handling this the best way.

"I'm being a bad friend, huh?"

He shrugs, then touches my head. "Next time he asks, just be vague or something. But don't lie to him, okay?"

The advice is definitely not the worst –probably better than Chandler's would be if we're being fair- and in a way, I think Joey might have found the solution to this problem. Maybe being vague is not a bad idea. It surely won't fix anything, but it's not like this can get any worse.

"I'm sorry I fired you."

"Forget about it. That's why you hired me in the first place, right?"

"Still, I know you really need the money."

"Hey, I literally haul food from your fridge on a daily basis. You're allowed to fire me from a job I didn't really want, it's fine."

I smile, but he's still frowning at me "You gonna be okay, Mon?"

"Of course I'm gonna be okay!" I say, in what is hopefully a convincing tone "You'll see, I'll get over it in no time."

He raises an eyebrow, and it's clear I went a step too far, but he pretends to not notice and finally lets it go. "Alright. I've got an audition right now, but Phoebe is downstairs if you don't feel like being alone. Chandler's across the hall, but Kathy's with him, so I'd stay away? I have no idea where Ross and Rach…"

"I'll be fine, Joe. But thanks for the heads up on… y'know." I say, gesturing towards the door. I'm not openly avoiding Chandler and Kathy, but I can't deny being in their presence can get a little overwhelming.

"No problem. "

XXX

Central Perk is definitely one of my favourite places in the world, but it gets even better as Christmas approaches. Gunther's filled it with decorations, and there's a tree right behind the place where Phoebe is singing.

It's very pretty.

"Hey, did you like my new Christmas song?" Phoebe asks, approaching.

"I loved it, Pheebs."

"Thank you! It's nice, right?!" She says enthusiastically, and I smile at her. Her happiness is contagious. "Don't you think I should make it longer, though?"

"I think it's perfect the way it is."

She smiles at me, and for a moment, I forget how sad I was feeling just a few minutes ago.

"Are you okay, Mon?"

Yeah, right.

"Of course I'm okay, Pheebs."

She sits right in front of me, crossing her legs on the couch like a child, but the look on her face is very serious. "Are you?"

I shrug. "Sure?"

"Mon, it's me. You can tell me anything."

"I'm fine, Pheebs. I'm just a bit overworked."

"Oh! Is this what it is? How are the jerks treating you?" She asks, and I'm glad I can talk to her without getting into a dangerous zone.

"Better, actually! They're all being nicer, and I really enjoy working in a restaurant again! I'm just… working more than usual? I'm tired." I offer. She seems to buy it.

"Is that really all, Mon?"

"It is." I say simply, and she hugs me. Everyone seems to do that a lot lately.

I can't say how much I appreciate it.

"Hey girls!"

We turn around to see Chandler, thankfully by himself. He sits next to me, and asks "What's going on?"

We both shrug, as if to say we're just hugging for no reason, which isn't entirely untrue. Out of nowhere, he rests his head on my back and grabs Phoebe's shoulder, holding us close. She starts giggling, and after a few seconds I do the same. It's a silly moment, but it definitely helps cheer me up.

"I thought you were with Kathy?" Phoebe asks, as soon as we break off the hug.

"I was! But she's pretty late on packing, so she left. I'm seeing her tonight, just before dinner."

"It sucks you can't spend Christmas together." I say, with no hints of sarcasm. I know how much he looked forward to spending the holidays with her.

"Well we've spent all week and most of Christmas Eve together! We've only been dating for a month, there's no reason for me to meet her parents."

I nod, his comment making me feel a lot warmer. When you're sulking as much as I admittedly am, it's hard to lose track of the fact he's not been dating her that long at all.

"By the way, what time do we have to be at your place?" Phoebe asks me.

"I don't know, around eight? There's no reason to have dinner early, really, if we're opening presents after midnight."

"Great! I'll go see if my grandma needs anything, and we'll see each other tonight, okay?"

She waves goodbye as I'm left alone with Chandler. He still has one hand on my back from before, as if it's the most natural thing in the world, and yet, I feel incredibly uncomfortable around him.

"I was kind of hoping she would leave." He whispers in my ear, and for a good minute I wonder if my head's playing a trick on me.

"Umm… what?"

He reaches inside the internal pockets of his coat, and shows me a rectangular package wrapped in blue paper. "This is for you."

"Chandler, you didn't have to…"

"I know!" He justifies himself, and God, do I hate how weird things feel between us right now. "Just… just open it."

I gently unwrap the packet, and I find a lined notebook, and what looks like a matching planner. They're both blue, with a pretty teal pattern.

"I love it." I tell him, and he smiles.

"I knew you would!" He says proudly, patting the cover of the notebook "I thought you might need a new notebook, you know, to write in recipes, now that you're head chef in a restaurant? And then I saw the planner and look" He takes the planner from my hands and opens it on the first page "It's color coded! And everything's got its place!"

I laugh at the point he's trying to make, and nod "Well, I definitely appreciate this kind of organization." I say simply.

"Right? I… I was in the store, looking for Christmas presents, and then I saw that, and I immediately thought of you. And see? It's blue. You like blue, right?"

"I do!" I smile and, despite my best effort, I find myself hugging him. "I love it, Chandler. Thank you."

"Don't mention it! I mean, I wanted to thank you for all the time you spent with me last week…"

"Chandler, you don't ha-" I try to interject, but he interrupts me.

"No, I know! I know, I'm not your Santa, and I know you're going to say you didn't mind coming with me…"

"I didn't! Chandler, you're my best friend!"

He looks sad for a split moment, then says "I'm sorry I made things weird."

Well, there you go.

"What?"

"Last week! I kept pushing you because I wanted you to tell me what was bothering you, and I obviously upset you enough that you feel like you need to avoid me."

"I'm not avoiding you! We still see each other every day!" I say, shocked.

"Yeah, for what, five minutes? We spent all of last week together and this is the first time we talk after I asked you what was going on."

He does have a point, but I don't think he's being fair at all. "Kathy wasn't here last week, Chandler. It's one thing when she's not here, but I don't feel like hanging out with the two of you, if you're gonna be making out and no one else is there."

A half-truth –or a vague answer- is better than an outright lie, right?

"I don't want you to feel like we can't hang out when Kathy's around, Mon."

"I don't! I just… wanted to give you some privacy, that's all."

He doesn't look too sure, but he starts to relax "So, you're not mad at me?"

"Of course I'm not mad at you." I take his hands, and he looks instantly relieved.

"So, we're okay?"

"We're okay."

"I'm still sorry I pushed you, when you obviously didn't want to talk about it."

I shake my head in disagreement. The last thing I want is for him to feel guilty when he did nothing wrong. "You didn't. I've just been really sad, and tired. It was not you at all." I tell him honestly. None of this is his fault.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Was I wrong when I said it was not just about work?"

I shake my head again. "No, you were right. Definitely not just work stuff."

He knows me too well.

"What did you buy for Kathy in the end?" I ask, trying to change the subject.

"Oh, I just bought tickets to a play, like you said." He says simply "I couldn't really think of a better idea, and I didn't find anything I liked better than that anyway."

Oh.

"Well, I'm glad I could help."

He kisses my cheek and stands up "Do you want to do something? I only have to meet Kathy at six, which means I got a few spare hours before I need to leave."

I'm still a little uncomfortable around him, and I definitely don't want him to sense anything, but the prospect of hanging out in my living room watching Christmas movie is definitely not the worst.

"Sure. It's a wonderful life?"

"You know me too well, Mon."

So... how late am I? I'm posting part two of the Christmas chapter on Halloween right, ironically enough, and I'm really unsure about this chapter? I hope you guys like it though and as always, feedback is appreciated :)