CHAPTER SEVEN
A/N Hi Guys, I'm sure a few of you are wondering why the last chapter stopped as abruptly as it did. Well here is the reason why. I want a few of the chapters to be 2 parters, but the other part may be in the second or third part of this story. The reason Chapter 6 finished like it did because the continuation is in part 3 and it is a happy story and I wanted to bring some happiness in amongst all the angst that will be thrown at you over the coming weeks and months, also I wanted you to have that feeling of not knowing what's going on too. I know that makes me evil (Very evil laugh happening) but sometimes if you know what the story or the flashback is going to be you don't have that wow factor when it is told again. That's why I have left you wondering what's going on ha-ha. Anyway thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read this, a big shout out to SPOOKYCJ who gave me the song idea. And to everyone who has left reviews thank you so much they mean a lot. Anyhooooo, back to the story. Not so angsty this chapter but we are starting to get there now.
Cosima was sat crossed legged on the floor of Felix's flat. He was in the kitchen getting their drinks and Cosima was building a nice joint for them both.
"SO Cosima have you told her yet?" Felix called from the kitchen.
"Felix I have tried but I just can't find the words or the right time to do it. I mean last night she brought Tony back with her! They have become inseparable a bit like you and me." Cosima lamented.
"Cos, if you don't do it before next week when she gets given the job details you are screwed. Never mind her not wanting you, at least if she doesn't want you there is always the chance something could happen. If she finds out the other way she will hate you and I mean H.A.T.E. you. So you have the choice of two shit scenarios but one could have a positive outlook." Felix said as he walked back into the lounge, Cosima's Green tea in one hand and his glass of wine in the other.
"Why do you have to drink in front of me when you know that I can only drink rarely?" Cosima moaned.
"Stop changing the subject missy! Have you any idea how you are going to tell her yet?"
"Fee, I really don't know. I was only thinking about it the other night and I had a full on anxiety attack. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to cope with. Being told I had MS was nothing compared to this! Why couldn't I have met Delphine before you got sacked!" Cosima began to well up.
"Hey there pet, listen if you want I could always tell her. Then again I would have to meet this mystery woman first. I mean you have been together 2 months and you haven't introduced her to anyone yet! I mean your family well that's understandable they are quite full on. How is Sarah by the way? Tell her I said hi. But not introducing her to me, I'm hurt Cosima." Felix joked.
"How about you come over for drinks tomorrow. Delphine is off work as we are going up to Scotland to see her best friend Paul on Saturday, so why not come round and meet her tomorrow before we go up. We are up there till Tuesday. The Paramore concert is Monday in Glasgow. I still can't believe she managed to get tickets for it."
"Yes I would love to come round tomorrow. I mean this is the first time I have seen you in weeks, you have been holed up in your love bubble for too long now!" Felix said sarcastically.
"That's cool dude. Just don't say anything to Delphine yet. If I haven't told her by the time we come back Tuesday then you can tell her OK?" Cosima pleaded. "Just let me have these few days please!"
"Bloody hell Cosima stop pulling those puppy dog eyes on me, it's those eyes that got me the sack if I remember rightly, begging me to get you more pot!" Felix sighed.
"And how many times have I apologised to you for that? Look on the Brightside though, if that hadn't of happened would we be the good friends that we are now?"
"That is true my dear dreadlocked cherub, but stop pointing those eyes at me you might turn me!" Felix laughed at his little joke.
"I think Tony is coming round tomorrow too, so you will have some eye candy to take your mind off the soppiness that is me and Delphine!" Cosima exploded into a fit of giggles.
"Oh god I'm going to have to scrub the smell of lesbians off me for days aren't I!" Felix joked.
Delphine was putting away her things before she left the classroom. She looked at her phone there had been no messages, which was unusual as Cosima text her nearly every half hour. She had spoken to her during her lunch break and remembered that she had said something about going to see her friend Felix. She was probably still there, getting high. Delphine didn't mind because it helped Cosima having the pot. Helped with the anxiety, she had been much calmer recently, well until a few nights ago when she had received the call from Cosima and she had spent most the night calming her down.
Delphine stood to leave when Siobhan caught her eye.
"Hey Siobhan is everything OK?" Delphine asked the older woman.
"Yes Delphine all is good, I'm just thinking about things, I always get a bit sad when a training course finishes. Especially when everyone has been as good as this class."
"Yes I have really enjoyed it. I didn't think I would to be honest but I loved it!"
"Ah that's good to hear. It's a shame that classroom based learning is going to be a thing of the past. You were the last group that would be taught that way. Everything is going to be on line now,"
"So what will happen to you?"
"I have a new role now; I am now the e learning coordinator. So they have found a use for this old bird!" Siobhan laughed.
"Well I'm glad I was one of the last ones you actually taught anything to." Delphine said genuinely. She left the room and made her way to the ground floor. She was worried about Cosima but didn't want to interrupt her if she was still at her friends place.
Taking her phone out again she went to her contacts and scrolled down until she had reached Paul's number. Tapping the call icon she waited for it to connect.
"Delphine! I wasn't expecting to hear from you until tomorrow. This is a nice surprise. What's up?" The man said cheerfully.
"Nothing is wrong Paul. Can't a friend call another friend just to say hi?" Delphine laughed.
"There is no shame in the fact that you just can't get enough of me at the minute. This is what the 8th phone call in just as many days. I feel privileged, but I don't want a crazy girlfriend trying to beat me up when you come up here. She must be jealous as hell that you keep calling me?" Paul joked.
"Paul behave you know Cosima is so laid back she is almost horizontal and she knows everything about you. How see you as my family as I have noone else that I am this close with except her."
"I know sweet, now are you all ready to come up. We are all looking forward to seeing you, and meeting this woman who has captured your heart."
"We are almost ready; I need to do my usual pre-flight routine. You know how much I hate to fly. Also it is Saturday morning we fly up so we will get to the airport around 10am. We will make our way to yours as I know you don't like getting up too early." Delphine explained with a little giggle.
"So is Cosima looking forward to coming up here?" Paul asked.
"Yes she can't wait to meet you! Like I said I have told her everything about you and see is so looking forward to meeting my family."
"So why do you sound as if something is wrong?" Paul asked coming straight out with it.
"There is….. I think she may be going off me. She seems to be more distant recently and she has been having a lot of anxiety attacks too. I'm worried about her Paul." Delphine blurted out.
There was silence the other end of the phone for a few seconds but felt like hours to Delphine. She had never vocalised her worries before and she could feel her eyes begin to tear up, her mouth go dry.
"Delphine, in all honesty you have to remember she suffered the anxiety attacks before you come along. She told you about them and you accepted them as part of who she was. She is probably just embarrassed that she is having more of them. Have you asked her what may be causing them? It maybe that she is like you scared of flying. Talk to her Delphine just so you can come up here and enjoy your few days with me and Beth. OK!"
Delphine nodded into her phone. She knew Paul was right she did have to talk to Cosima but she didn't know how to start the conversation. It was then she realised that they had never really talked much about anything. Maybe tonight was a good time to try.
"Thanks Paul, I really appreciate this."
"No problem Del, just make sure you talk to her please."
"OK I will, I will text you tomorrow alright?"
"Sure Del, speak soon, see you in a couple of days. Take care."
"You too Paul. Love you."
"Love you too Del, now get off the phone and head home to that girlfriend of yours."
"Ok bye." Delphine hung up the phone and put it away in her bag. She made her way to the train station, she was having Cosima over today, and they had decided that they would go from Cosima's place to the airport Saturday morning as it was closer.
Delphine took a deep breath. She had felt like Cosima had been going off her for a few days, it was like every time she got close Cosima pulled away. She was probably being paranoid because she hadn't noticed the exact same signs with her ex.
She knew that Paul was right she had to talk to Cosima and it would be hard but it had to be done she had to know one way or the other what was going on. She didn't want to fall for the woman anymore if it wasn't being reciprocated.
Delphine got off the train and made the short walk back to her house. She heard music coming from inside, she knew the song, it was one of Cosima's favourites. Paramore I caught myself. Then as she got closer she heard Cosima singing at the top of her lungs.
"Now when I caught myself, I had to stop myself from saying something that I should never think of you…."
Delphine smiled to herself, it was times like this when Cosima did things without thinking or caring what others thought of her that made her love her. Putting her key in the lock she let herself in. Cosima was in the kitchen Delphine could tell by the echo in her voice.
"Hey Cos! I'm home!" She called out to the other woman still singing without a care in the world.
"No I don't know what I want….." Cosima continued singing.
"COSIMA!" Delphine shouted and the shorter woman spun round on her heels.
"Oh shit! Was I that loud? Shit sorry! Let me go switch it off." Cosima said as she ran to the other room to turn the music off.
"Del, I'm sorry I don't know what came over me. I just felt like the song was a part of me in that moment." Cosima tried to explain as she made her way back through the now quiet house.
"Cosima, don't ever apologise for doing something that you enjoy." Smiled Delphine.
"Oh by the way I missed you today. So I thought instead of texting you every 5 minute I would show you in a different way!" Cosima's eyes sparkled as she took the dish from the fridge. "I might have kind attempted to make your favourite dish. Goulash. I'm not sure how it will turn out but I will put it in the oven now and it will be ready for when you are out the bath I am about to run you."
"Cosima stop a minute please!" Pleaded Delphine.
"What's wrong Del? Have I done something wrong?" Asked Cosima.
"We need to have a talk now before I lose my bottle."
"Oh OK, is there anything in particular you want to talk about?" Cosima asked worried.
"There is no easy way to say this so I am going to have to come right out and say it because it is eating me up inside. Are you going off me?" Delphine poured out tears falling freely by the end of the sentence.
"Oh god no! Delphine don't ever think that. I love you so much. I have pulled away because I don't want you to think I am smothering you. I would never hurt you. Didn't I say that to you a couple of weeks back when I gave you the promise ring? Look at me Delphine. I am going through a lot of stuff at the minute and I can't find the way to tell you about it, because I have never had someone I can tell everything to. You're the first person that has made me feel like that. I don't want to lose you; I don't want to leave you Christ given half the chance I would move in with you tomorrow. Please trust me on this when I say that when I find the way to say to you what I want to say I will tell you everything. I promise on my last breath that leaves my body…" Cosima said quite forcefully so Delphine could tell she was being honest with her.
"Cosima, I just don't want to think like that but after what Seth did to me, I guess I get paranoid sometimes." Delphine said between sobs.
"Hell me with anxiety and you with paranoia we make a good pair." Cosima said to lighten the mood. She stepped towards Delphine and took her in her arms.
"Listen Baby, I love you so much I feel like I would die without you. You're the one thing that makes sense in my world. Oh and by the way I was kind of creeping around you with the dinner and bath because my best friend Felix is coming to mine tomorrow so he can meet you before we go up north." Cosima giggled guiltily.
Delphine laughed at her own foolishness and at the fact that Cosima had been scared to say about Felix coming round.
The rest of the night was uneventful. Cosima telling Delphine what to expect when Felix came over his exuberance and his speaking before thinking. Cosima telling stories of how Felix had been caught giving her weed but not once mentioning anything about how they had met.
A/N sorry it's not a major update, I wanted to have the visit from Felix in a chapter all on its own as a few bombshells may or may not be dropped. Once again thank you for reading and reviews are always welcome please get your friends to read this too. Much love to you all xMx