I never realized how different the two apartments are.

How is this even possible? Two apartments, in the same building, right in front of each other, and they're completely different.

Not only is this one smaller, the layout is completely different as well. I never really took notice before, because it's always been full with the guys' stuff, and really, why would I care? It's not like I planned to live here.

Damn, I hate it that I live here now.

"I thought you'd be much more of a sore loser than you're being."

"Huh. Thanks." I say over my shoulder, as I keep stacking my plates in the kitchen cabinets. My new apartment doesn't really agree with me, but I'm still going to make sure it is as clean and organized as I can possibly make it. "Why would you think that?"

"I dunno. It's just, you're always so competitive. I definitely thought you'd be more upset, especially since… you know. Rachel might not have wanted to bet the apartment, but you're definitely not the one who wanted the birds to go."

I shrug, my hands still full of plates. "What's being upset going to solve? You won fair and square. You and Joey really need to stop giving Rachel such a hard time, though."

He just shrugs and picks up an apple, but I swat his hand. In my head, I know him eating an apple is not going to create a mess, but for some reason, I want no one to touch anything until I'm done cleaning up the whole place.

"Hey!" he protests, but I just stick my tongue at him. He rolls his eys and puts the apple away, then suddenly he gets up from where he's sitting to come over and open a box of cups. "Where do these go?"

I point at another cabinet, and he starts stacking them, purposefully bumping my arm with his, in an obvious attempt to annoy me for denying him a snack, but mostly trying to have some lighthearted fun.

I can't say that I mind.

I also can't say that I don't see what he's doing: stalling.

"Why are you still here?" I ask, as good naturedly as possible. The last thing I want is for him to think I don't want him here.

And yet, he looks just a little sad before he asks "What do you mean?"

"I mean, you said you had to go to Kathy's place. You know? Apologize for accusing her of cheating on you?"

He tries his best to pretend he's really busy stacking up cups and glasses, but I know him far too well to fall for it. When he notices I'm staring at him expectantly, he sighs. "I've kind of been dreading it."

"What exactly are you dreading?"

He finally looks at me, his face sad again. "Well, there's still a chance I'm right. And if I'm not, who's to say she's going to forgive me? She might just as well decide I'm too immature and break up with me anyway. Some of the stuff I told her was sort of… well, really bad."

Huh. He's not given me the whole story, and God knows I'm trying to stay out of their way for the most part, but God, am I curious now.

"How bad?"

He looks away again, scrubbing the glass he's holding, as if it's not already perfectly clean "I… might have told her one of the reasons I don't trust her is… the way we started our relationship. And I know that's dumb! I was in it as much as she was! I knew she had a boyfriend! Actually, she was cheating on her boyfriend, and I was betraying my best friend! She doesn't deserve that kind of judgement, from me of all people!"

I can't say I disagree entirely with what he's saying. Not that I judge them either , but they definitely both didn't act their best in that situation.

"What do you think?"

"Well… I don't really know Kathy." I say sincerely, hoping that'll do. I'm trying my best to be supportive, but I really wish he'd stop asking me for relationship advice.

He nods in agreement, then asks "What would you do? If you were me?"

So much for that.

"I think… I would just apologize. And not like, in a half-assed way! Just… just make sure she knows how sorry you are. That she doesn't think you're just saying it because you don't want to break up, but because you're actually sorry you hurt her."

"I am sorry I hurt her!" He says defensively, as he sits down on the stool again. He looks so sorrowful, it kind of breaks my heart.

"I know you are! Just, make sure she knows that, ok? Make sure she knows you're trying your best."

He looks a little hopeful, and he extends his arms towards me. I know I've promised myself to do less of this, but hey, I'm not going to just not hug my best friend, am I? I walk into his arms, enjoying the smell of conditioner, and he sighs contently for a moment, before he kisses my cheek and whispers "You're the best" in my ear.

And then, like I've just burned myself, I'm out of his arms again, and he gives me a look as I straighten my shirt and try to act like I wasn't totally enamored with his smell and his warmth just five seconds ago.

"I just… I need to fix this place, I can't really take a break."

It's a lame excuse, and we both know it is, but he acts like he buys it and grabs his jacket. "Thanks, Mon"

I look at him questioningly "For what?"

"Not judging me? Actually caring? I don't know, just… thank you."

I smile at him while he closes the door behind him, and finally put the plates down.

Now that he left, I try my hardest to think of literally anything other than the fact that Chandler is going to Kathy's, and I decide I can finally concentrate on how bad this place is. Of course no one wants to hang out here. The apartment is smaller, the rooms have windows, but the only thing you can see when you look outside is another building. I'm just glad I got Chandler's room. Not that it's bigger than Joey's or anything, but I do think I have a higher chance of finding less… disgusting things, in there.

Shuddering at just the thought of what I am going to find, I pick up some detergent and pour it on a scrubbie. This place is definitely not going to clean itself.

XXXX

My back is sore.

Actually, my whole body is sore.

I open my eyes and I realize I've been sleeping on the couch, and nobody's around, except for Rachel, who's sitting on the armchair and watching TV. The volume is really low, as she was probably trying not to wake me up. When I let out a distressed moan, she smiles at me.

"Damn, you sure had a long nap." She states simply, and I smile back.

"What can I say? I was tired."

She nods "I can definitely see why!" She says, obviously referring to the new floor. I think I got a bit carried away, but I'm really proud of how our place turned out. "Thank you. For trying to make this place better."

"You're welcome."

She comes over, sits next to where I'm lying and hugs my back for a second. "I know I've complained a lot these few last days, but I appreciate you doing this. If nothing else, we don't have smelly carpet anymore."

"It's okay. I did this for my own peace of mind as well." I tell her.

"Mon? Can I ask you something?"

"Sure." I answer, though I'm scare of what she's going to ask.

"Are you alright?"

I stay completely still, the question way too generic. "Well, moving sucks, and Chandler's room is definitely an adjustement, but-"

"No- I don't mean the moving. I mean, are you doing alright? You just seem… off lately."

Oh, great. Someone else is worrying about me. Wonderful.

"I'm fine, Rach."

She looks at me for a moment, then lets it go. "Ok."

"I am! I'm…. dealing with something, but I'm ok. It's really not that bad."

"Is it work stuff?" She asks, obviously glad I at least told her something. I want to be irritated, but I can't. Not being able to help your friends is always frustrating, and I've definitely been refusing help lately.

"It's… it's not work stuff. It's more of a personal thing."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really. Besides, it's silly." I say. I hate lying to her face, but what am I going to do? Talking about my feelings is the last thing I want to do.

She definitely looks like she doesn't believe me, so I try to change topic. "Is Chandler back?" I ask, though I really don't know whether I wanna know. If he's not back, there's a really high chance he's at Kathy's, and if he's still there he's probably doing… stuff.

"Oh, right! You were asleep!"

Oh. "I take it he is, then?"

She looks genuinely sorry after a beat, and she just says "Yeah. He broke up with Kathy."

I look at her, confused. By what he told me, it sounded like he wanted to make amends and apologize. Wasn't she the one who was mad? Why would he break up with her?

"What?" I ask simply, my head pounding.

"Kathy was cheating on him."

I swear, keeping track of this is becoming exhausting. "No, that was yesterday! He said he thought she might be cheating and accused her, but he was going to apologize to her this afternoon! Is he back yet?" I ask again. Surely, I must be missing something.

"Yeah, he did! He went there, and apparently he found a man's pants in her living room. He asked her again, and she admitted she'd been cheating on him."

My heart feels like it's literally breaking.

I think I can safely say this is way worse than the two months of unrequited love, and it's not like they were a walk in the park either.

And now I'm crying. In front of Rachel.

I've tried so hard to hide my feelings, and I think I've succeeded too, but this is unbearable. It's like they're suddenly coming out of me at once, like I'm finally letting out all the frustration and sadness I've been building up the past two months.

"Hey! What's wrong?"

"I- I just! It's Chandler!" is all I can manage to get out. I definitely feel too overwhelmed to form a coherent thought, let alone speak a whole sentence.

"I know! I know, we were all so upset when he told us! Even Joey!"

I still can't seem to find the words for how upset I am, so I just keep sobbing, my body basically convulsing in Rachel's arms.

"Hey, it's fine! Chandler's a big boy! He can take care of himself!"

"I know" is all I can say, and I don't know if Rachel even got what I said, as I mostly mumbled it in between tears.

"Mon, really, are you okay?"

I really doubt she's going to believe me if I say yes, to be honest. I can barely manage to calm down, for God's sake!

She leaves to retrieve a box of tissues and hands them over, and I try sitting up straight. Lying on my stomach is not doing much for my thoat and lungs right now. I take the tissues, and try breathing deep for a bit.

"Sorry"

Rachel looks at me quizzically "For what?"

"Well… the crying" I answer "I must be freaking you out".

"It's okay, you're really not."

"I just… I feel like I've had all this pent up pressure in me, you know? And this was just… I just feel like I needed to let it go."

"Hey, whatever helps! I'm not judging. We all felt very sorry about him. And you have been under a lot of pressure lately, with the new job, and the moving… better to let it out than keep it all bottled inside, right?"

"Yeah" I say, finally composing myself, impressed at how well she knows me. I tug at my flannel shirt, and press a tissue under my eye with the other hand, trying to dry the tears."Where is he now?"

"I think he's in my… well his room." She says, and only now do I realize she's been combing through my hair with her fingers. Most importantly, only now do I realize how soothing it is.

"Do you think he wants to be alone?" I ask. As much as I want to make sure he's okay, I really don't want to be bothering him.

"I don't know. I mean, surely he's not planning a party, but he probably wouldn't mind you checking on him."

XXXX

I have no idea what I'm doing here. I'm in my old apartment, just out of Chandler's room, and I'm starting to think this might not be the best idea I've ever had.

Even if he does want to talk, what am I going to say? Sorry your girlfriend cheated on you? I'm sorry you broke up with her?

But then, if I can't work up the courage to walk in there and comfort my best friend, who is probably in a lot of pain right now, what does that say about me? What kind of person does that make me?

I raise my hand and knock on the door. I don't get an answer, and I turn around, glad I don't have to do anything right now, but then I notice Chandler's jacket is on his barcalounger and his shoes are at the bottom of it, which means he hasn't left, and that the bathroom door is open, which means he's not in there.

I turn against his door again, calling him out. "Chandler? May I come in?" I ask, mentally kicking myself. For some reason, it sounded really corny.

"Mon?" Is all I hear, and I answer affirmatively, almost hoping he'll ask me to leave. Instead, he just says "Come in."

Now, I know I'm a neat freak. And I know Chandler is not one. But the show in front of me is nothing I ever thought Chandler would be capable of.

At least half a dozen of his shirts have been thrown carelessly on the floor, right in front of his wardrobe. There's a pizza box on the nightstand, clumsily balanced on two bottles of beer. He's lying on the bed, and while he does have a pillow under his head, all the blankets and sheets are at the bed's feet, as if he was going to make it but then suddenly changed his mind.

I only notice Joey is in the room when I stop spotting the mess. He's sitting on a chair he borrowed from the kitchen, probably not trusting Chandler to be left alone right now.

"Hey." Is the only thing I can get out, my throat suddenly sore. The sight of Chandler looking so miserable, lying like a sad child in this dumpster, is definitely not something I'm enjoying.

"What's wrong, Mon?" Joey asks, looking seriously worried. I guess Rachel hasn't lied about me looking 'off', whatever that means.

"I… I … Rachel told me about…"

"About how I'm a total loser? Gee Mon, you should be used to it by now. You don't need to be crying about it."

I appreciate his effort to make fun of himself, even in his self-deprecating way, but damn, the hurt in his voice is just making me feel even worse, if that's at all possible. Besides, is it really that obvious that I was crying?

"I'm sorry. About what happened." I say, and once again I truthfully mean it, just the way I did when I said I hoped their relationship would work out.

"Well, don't be. It's not like you're the one who cheated on me." He says, fidgeting with the hem of his sleeves.

I just stand on the doorway like this big clumsy idiot, and I'm out of words to say. Joey obviously takes notice, so he speaks next. "Guys, I'm going to check on the birds, and then I promised Pheebs I would meet her downstairs. You gonna be okay, dude?"

Chandler nods absent mindedly, which makes me realize he probably didn't even hear the question.

As Joey walks past me, and shuts the door close behind him, I can feel myself growing increasingly awkward. After what feels like an eternity, however, Chandler finally looks at me, a touch of annoyance in his stare. "I'm fine, Monica. Really. Stop looking at me like that."

"Are you?" I ask, and I know I'm now having with him the same attitude everyone's been having towards me lately, the very same attitude that's been annoying me so much, but the truth is, I can't imagine letting this go- I just can't bring myself to pretend that seeing him hurt is not making my heart ache more and more by the second.

"Of course" he says dryly, but I tilt my head, trying to get him to talk openly. When that doesn't work, I lean against the door.

"Do you want me to leave you alone?" The thought of doing so is wrenching my guts, but I really want to make sure I'm not just upsetting him further by being here.

"Not really."

I sigh in relief and sit on the bed, right next to him, my back against his headboard "What's with the mess?" I ask. Not that I care really, since this isn't my home anymore, but I don't wanna ask what happened with Kathy. If he wants to tell me, he will of his own accord.

"I… Well, Joey ordered pizza, but because I wouldn't leave my room he brought it in here" he explains, rolling his eyes "And the shirts… I was just trying to choose the right one before I went to… her place. Can you imagine? I was here, trying on shirts, thinking that it would matter how I looked when I went there to apologize and in the meanwhile, she was sleeping with someone else." He says, his tone getting angrier at every word.

There are so many things I want to say, mostly reassuring thoughts and stuff on how he can always talk to any of us about it. But I've been through a few breakups, and I know none of those help on the first few days, when you feel like nothing is going to actually make things better just yet.

"And what's with the sheets?"

"I want to wash them. Kathy was here two days ago. They don't even smell like her or anything , but I just… can't stand the thougt of it, you know? I still love her, but I really don't want her in my life anymore."

"Yeah?" I ask, trying to be as vague as possible. I really don't wanna push his buttons, not when he seems so talkative about how he feels. I'm just glad he's not shutting me off completely.

"Yeah. It's just… even if I did forgive her, I would never realy be able to trust her again. Not really. And I don't wanna be that kind of person, you know? I don't want to feel like she might be meeting another man every time she tells me she's going out."

I don't really know what to answer to that, though I think it makes perfect sense, so I just get up and start hanging his shirts in the wardrobe.

"Do you think I'm being too hard on her?"

I turn around to look at him, and I raise my eyebrow at his question "Why would I think that?"

"Well you know… I accused her of cheating when I didn't even know if it was true. Hell, maybe it wasn't true at the time, and she only slept with Nick because of our fight."

I just scoff at him, and keep on picking his shirts from the floor.

"I take it that's a no?"

"That's definitely a no." I say simply, not wanting to go off and start ranting against Kathy. The last thing I want, is speak badly about her in front of him.

No matter how much she hurt my best friend, I am not going to be that person. Besides, whatever I'll tell him in this regard is going to be extremely biased.

"Really?"

"Really. Listen, I think you can spend the whole day on that bed, trying to figure out whether this is your fault or not. But the truth is, no matter how stupid, or insensitive, or how much of a jerk you were" I say, and I'm glad to see he's at least halfway smiling "the fact still stands, that this was what, your very first fight?" he just nods "Okay, your first fight, and while you were in there, asking me advice on how to make amends, or in here, looking for the perfect shirt, she was… well. You know. "

He doesn't look too happy about what I just told him, but he sits just a little straighter "Youre right. I know you're right, but it's hard not to blame myself for it, you know?"

There are still a few shirts on the floor, but I decide to sit next to him again. It definitely looks like that's what he needs, anyway.

"Listen, I'm not saying you're completely blameless! Didn't you hear what I just called you?" He lets out a snort that sort of sounds like a laugh, so I keep talking. "I'm just saying, there is a number of ways to react to that. If she was that mad at you, she could have broken up with you when you confronted her, or even called you afterwards to break up, or used a smoke signal, whatever! But you don't go behind someone's back like that, you just don't."

He suddenly hugs me, and while I can't say I don't love it, which i certainly do, I'm pretty sure hugging while we're on his bed is really not going to help my feelings at all. However, I don't really want to stop it this time: he's my friend, he's obviously going thorugh a lot, and he needs me- and all the support I can give him.

Besides, it's the most comfortable feeling in the world.

Ha! can you believe I'm updating already? And with such a long Chapter too!

This is basically my apology for making you wait so long the last time around ;) Also, I was really indecisive on whether I wanted to stick with canon (like I did) or go some other way and figure out another way to break up Chandler and Kathy. And the thing is... I couldn't think of another way I wanted them to break them up, for a number of reasons, I hope it works for you guys, I know lots of you were looking forward to this ;)

Also, despite Monica's speech in this, I really loved Kathy on the show... unfaithfulness aside, so it kind of hurt to rewatch this ep in order to write this chapter.

As always, feedback is always appreciated! Remember you guys, that's all the motivation writers get ;P