A snapshot of Christmas Eve in Konoha
"Could you be more gay?"
"…Huh…? What are you talking about?"
"You look like you've abducted the Mardi Gras."
Sasuke roved disapproving eyes over my apparent distasteful choice in clothing, muttering under his breath his astonishment and his wonder if I was colour blind.
"Oh lighten up, Scrooge. My outfit is awesome."
Indeed, it was awesome, if by awesome you meant the best quickly thrown together Christmas outfit ever. Loud, tight orange pants were the first immediate visual treat, leading ones eye only to trail upwards in amazement, I'm sure. Up further a too tight red shirt with a jolly Santa Clause face over my chest causing the face to stretch to the point of hilarity. The final touch was, in one lone ear, a dangling Christmas tree earring, bright flashing lights and all.
Like I said, awesome.
Sasuke didn't see it that way though and yeah, okay, maybe green knee length hooker boots aren't totally classy. But that's okay, he had the fashion sense of a 40 year old anyway, therefore any judgment he has is null and void. Who wants to wear black and gray all the time, how boring! Taking fashion advice from him was like learning punctuality from Kakashi-sensei. Ignoring his slurs of tacky and eyesore, I grabbed his elbow and demanded to greet those had arrived before me.
The Uchiha's held a Christmas party annually. It was mostly Itachi's fellow workmates using his house as an unofficial Christmas party function but Sasuke usually used this opportunity to gather his closest friends around himself and celebrate the merry season.
Okay, that's a lie; Sasuke would rather drink acid than do something like that. I use it as an opportunity to invite myself (and others) over to stir up some festive cheer. Because Christmas is not a time to feel sad, but to celebrate! And I beg the question, what would Sasuke be doing if I weren't here? Moping. Sulking. Brooding. I mean really, it's a win-win situation. I get free food and he gets the pleasure of my company.
I love Christmas. Yum, is there alcohol in this punch? I sip it slowly to test, but I can't tell, it's too fruity with no real twang. I try it again, taking in a bigger mouthful and accidentally spill a bit on my shirt.
"Is there alcohol in this punch?" I ask loudly over the music and chatter, my eyes seeking out any familiar face. Sasuke only mutters darkly in reply, I couldn't hear it but I thought he said, "I'll give you a punch…" but that can't be right so I tried to clean out my ear with my finger and asked again.
"What?" And he just shrugged, what a grinch, would it kill him to smile for even half a second? Probably - Oh look there's Hinata. All thoughts of Sasuke being a holiday hating freak were forgotten as I yelled out loudly to the shy girl, waving my arm up and down. "Hey, Hinata!" Not giving her time to acknowledge me, I bounded over to her dragging Sasuke along with me, giving no thought of his physical well being and narrowly missing the coffee table. Oh look, sheppard's pie…
"H-Hello Naruto-kun…"
"Hey, have you tried the punch?"
Boy, I ate so much I think my pants might split - the Uchiha's really know how to cater, although I'm sure it would be some sort of tragedy if they were seen as less than perfect. God forbid…Anyway. 12 mini mince pies, 3 slices of fruitcake, Kiba, Neji and 2 hours later I was well and truly ready for dinner. In the middle of my (mostly one-sided) conversation with Hinata, Princess Sasuke took advantage of my distraction, mumbled something about a headache and disappeared upstairs, what a terrible host.
Sighing noisily, I took it upon myself to retrieve the maiden from her tower. The guests were quickly beginning to relocate into the dining room (were there even enough chairs?) in preparation for the main course. As much as I was filled up from the hors d'oeuvres a homemade Uchiha dinner was not an occasion to be missed. Ever. For that I would always make room.
Footsteps heavy, I plonked my feet up the stairs trying to make as much noise as possible, opening Sasuke's door widely upon reaching it. I'm sure he might've appreciated a prior knock but I didn't bother, I'm sure he'd get over it. The room was dark but when I squinted I could see the outline of Sasuke's body lying on his bed from the light of the hallway. You'd think he were allergic to light with the way he avoided it.
"Dinner's ready!" I shouted, forgetting about his headache. Peering in the darkness, the only reply I received was the faint visual of Sasuke picking up a pillow and placing it firmly over his head. Anti-social bastard…. yeah well two can play at that game. Flicking on the light switch and blinking for a moment while my eyes adjusted to the change, I waltzed over to the resting Uchiha and sat down abruptly on the bed, startling him. Grabbing the pillow from his hands I grinned at the messed up hair and the annoyed glare I received. Oh how cute he thinks that still works on me.
"Rise and shine! Didn't you hear me? I said dinner's ready."
"Yeah I heard you," he snapped taking the pillow back from my hand and placing it over his head again. Sigh, why did I choose to have such a difficult best friend? I guess it didn't really matter – Sasuke was mainly all bark but no bite. Sure as hell he could bite when the time came but for all his tough façade he was as tame as a kitten. A bitchy kitten.
Snatching the white, fluffy offender back, I threw it to the other side of the room feeling a sense of satisfaction when I heard it hit the wall. Now if he wanted it he'd have to get up. The dark haired teen sat up and rubbed his eyes, grumbling into his hands.
"Loser."
"Bastard. You do this every year."
"Maybe it's just your voice giving me a headache," he spat back, trying to tame his dark hair with his hands. When he'd started primping I'd knew I'd won.
"Maybe you're just a hypochondriac… So where's my present?" I asked, getting up off the bed to give him room. Sasuke rose from the bed and smoothed down the creases on his impeccably clean clothes. He raised an eyebrow at me, crossing his arms over his chest in a manner that was terribly smug and so very Sasuke.
"Who says I got you anything? You know, with the way the economy is going, gas prices and all that, money is tight…" He replied, smirking. Yeah yeah, whatever, we'll see about that! In arrogant prick language that really meant this is a fuck you for waking me up, I should know, I'm fluent.
Either way I dropped the subject, letting him have the upper hand for now, he'd lose it later. Walking past him I leaned against his doorframe and roamed my eyes over his form appraisingly. The subject of his "problem" had been dropped since the Bathroom Incident a few weeks ago, his promise of talking about it never being fulfilled. Asshole, I knew that would happen and he probably thinks I forgot. Now that the heat of the moment was gone I didn't want to push it when he was so easy to anger these days.
Unease and sickly anxiety began to simmer in my blood as I noticed his spine outlined under his black shirt as he bent over to pick up a stray sock. He'd lost so much weight again, too much weight. I just don't get it. How could he not see what I see? How could he not see the severely underweight, skinny boy that he was? I don't get it. How could he be that stupid?
"Hurry up or your tofurkey will get cold," I complained, wanting to think of other things. I mean, how long does it take to put on some socks? The other boy stood up and ran a hand through his hair again, not helping it any.
"I'm sure I'll live."
"Yeah but I wont. I'm missing the prime bits of meat!" Sasuke just glared, expressionless as if he didn't know what to say to that. What's with being a vegetarian anyway?
"I didn't ask you to."
"Yeah well I wanted to so shut up and let's go." He just rolled his eyes and downstairs we went, both of us trying to trip over the other as we made our descent.
Any concern that I'd felt before was not extinguished in any sense of the word. I'd been watching the pale teen out of the corner my eye, watching him cut his tofu into tiny pieces, not eating them, pushing his food around, looking not happy to be here at all. He probably wasn't and I'm sure it wasn't just his genetic lack for Christmas cheer that Itachi seemed to possess too. Weirdos,who doesn't love getting presents?
Chewing roughly on a roast potato I nudged Sasuke with my left elbow discreetly under the table and kicked his shin just for an unnecessary addition, he was too easy to shit-stir. This snapped him well out of his mood and I received the heated glare that I was hoping for. An annoyed Sasuke was a hundred times better than a sulky Sasuke.
"So Sakura invited me to stay at her house after Christmas…" I began.
"Mhmm…"
"Why'd they have to move that far? Anyway she asked how you were," I continued, mouth now full of asparagus. Everyone seemed too immersed in their own dinner and conversation to notice my less than fantastic table manners.
"What'd you say?" He asked, trying not to sound too interested, fooling no one, okay just not fooling me.
We'd grown up together with the pink haired girl and she became like a sister to us, well to me anyway. But when we were 14 her parents needed to move a few towns over, 4 hours away, in order to maintain the family business. Maintaining friendship, at that time, became difficult too, but we try. Email, letters texts, phone calls, whatever line of communication is convenient at the time.
I know he must've been sad, too, when she left, all three of us had been close. As much as he said he didn't care, Sasuke could be as transparent as glass, as much as he tries to hide it.
"That you're fine and exams went well. She asked if you wanted to come too." At this Sasuke was silent, probably contemplating whether or not he would or wouldn't go, although I couldn't see why there was a debate at all if he missed her – which even under pain of death he would never admit to. But for now I'd just mark it as the never-ceasing weirdness that is Uchiha Sasuke.
"I'm - "
"I already told her you're coming," I interrupted, not giving him an opportunity to refuse like the antisocial freak he is. Yeah, he'd probably be pissed that I agreed on his behalf but I'm sure he'd get over it and maybe thank me in the end. Okay he'd never thank me for it but I'll settle for quiet acceptance.
"Thanks a lot moron, what makes you think I'm not doing anything else?" He asked quiet, but angry, his fist clenching his chopsticks tightly. I scrunched my nose and made a face at his poor attitude. Seriously, it wasn't that big a deal.
"Well are you?"
"No, he's not," spoke Itachi from the head of the table. Sasuke's head shot up faster than a bullet as he stared at Itachi dumbfounded. Itachi had changed a lot when I'd first met him. No longer was he the adolescent with no worries, but a young adult with too much responsibility. He acted a lot more like a parent than an older brother nowadays. I wonder if that bothered Sasuke. It must be hard to lose both your parents and, essentially, your brother in the same day.
"But I thought you needed me to help fix the - "
"It's okay, don't worry about it. I'll manage," he spoke, interrupting Sasuke for the second time.
"Are you sure?" The younger Uchiha asked, uncertain. He'd finally set down his poor abused chopsticks and gave his full attention to his brother, probably trying to gauge his intentions.
The elder brother nodded and gave a small smile. "Yeah, it'll do you good," he affirmed, slipping seamlessly into the fatherly role. Recognizing this, Sasuke just rolled his eyes and knew better than to question it in fear of more weird fatherly brotherly advice. Their dynamic was so strange – Sasuke was the too mature child and Itachi was some bizarre father-brother-mother fusion. It was fun to watch, but it had ended too soon, with Itachi listening to his work mate Sasori moan about the finer details of handcrafts and Sasuke staring at his food.
"So that's that!"
"Whatever," replied the skinny teen, disinterest lacing his voice, and we left it at that. I was glad that he was going to come, however coerced, and I grew a little excited; it would be like old times. I think he might have thought that too – looking out the corner of my eye, although his facial expression remained the same, I saw a light shift into Sasuke's eyes that I hadn't seen all night. It was finally something familiar to look forward to, something I'm guessing neither of us had had in a while.
Returning to my plate I continued to chow down the rest of my meal, this was definitely mostly Sasuke's cooking - despite his appearance he was a champion in the kitchen. That's the only thing I would ever admit him beating me in, everything else is my domain. In my peripheral vision I could see Sasuke doing the same, picking up little bits of food, bringing them to his mouth and swallowing them - actually eating them.
It was really slow and it looked like each bite might as well have been razors going down his throat. I could almost see his internal argument.
A warmth blossomed in my stomach and spread rapidly to my chest and I hid a smile – from I could see it looked like he was actually making an effort, something that I hadn't seen in too long. No tricks or charades, it looked like he was actually trying and that was the best Christmas present he could have given me.
"Here, loser."
A square object flew at me, hitting me in the chest and falling into my lap. Looking down I saw an impeccably wrapped gift, a label on the top reading 'To: Idiot, From Sasuke'.
After dinner I'd dragged Sasuke and Kiba to the living room, sat on the big cushy couches and we talked and laughed about the year that had been and the year to come. Okay that's not completely true, Kiba and I talked and laughed while the Uchiha just listened, nodding and raising an eyebrow here and there. At least it looked like he was listening, maybe he wasn't, oh well no big deal. As soon as our friend had left to go home Sasuke had shown some sign of life and walked over to his massive Christmas tree, throwing me a present from underneath it. Haha, I knew he lied upstairs but act humble, act humble…
"Aw you didn't have to…" But I'm happy you did
"Whatever. Are you going to stare at it or are you going to open it?" I wanted to. Standing up from his kneeling position he walked over to the sofa I was on and sat next to me, his shoulder warm next to mine.
Too content to argue I shrugged and began unpeeling the sticky tape off the wrapping paper at the sides torturously slow, feeling black eyes watching me. Next I began to gently remove the bright seasonal paper uncovering a small black box no bigger than the size of my hand, it was very light too, I almost wondered if this was a joke and the box was empty. Nevertheless I opened it cautiously, trying not to look too hopeful.
"…Oh my fucking god," I whispered, looking down at the contents.
"…They were some of the last…"
"Oh my fucking god," I repeated, wide eyed. In my very lap sat two ground seat tickets to 40 Seconds to Jupiter, my favourite band. I'd done nothing but pump their music as loudly as possible from my car, my room, my headphones…I owned the shirts, the hoodies, the wristbands... "Sasuke, these are mosh tickets…"
"I know," he said, confused.
"No, Sasuke, they're mosh tickets. As in close enough to be hit by the sweat coming off of Lared Jeto mosh."
"I know…"
I looked to my side to see a slightly amused Sasuke and - now sure that this wasn't his idea of a joke – my face broke into a grin and whatever I did I couldn't seem to get it off my face. I was happy, presents or no presents it had been an awesome night, this was just the icing on a very ecstatic cake. Not caring, I slung my arms around his shoulders and planted a wet kiss on his cheek, still grinning like a fool. He elbowed me in the ribs but I could tell by his face that he was relieved that I was at least pleased with his gift. As if I wouldn't be! He could give me coal and I'd probably still be happy knowing the he gave a crap, even if it were only a little. But he went all out, these weren't cheap.
"I got sick of hearing that you couldn't afford them, dropping hints like that…" he chided, but I knew he was only teasing. Well, half teasing at least.
"Thanks so much…wow, this makes my present to you look like crap…"
He rolled his eyes and looked away, perhaps embarrassed. "Yeah well, I figured this year I probably owe it to you…" I shook my head, rejecting the idea that he owed me anything.
I really loved Christmas. It reminded me of old times and for a small while people dropped grudges, thought of others and things that changed reverse - if only for a little while. In spite of the hard year that had passed and how things had changed, how relationships had altered and the tough things we'd been through it gave me hope.
Hope that not all change was bad or permanent, that good things were to come and that even though the old Sasuke was hard to find he was still somewhere in there underneath the monster that was eating disorder.
With this newfound faith I was determined, dead set on finding old Sasuke again and when I did I'd hold on tight and wont let go. Maybe I was just a stupid, hopeless optimist but right now I didn't care. Tightening my grip on the arm around his shoulders, I was resolute - Things could be the same again, things could change for the better.
Giving up the struggle of shoving me off the couch Sasuke slumped his shoulders and sighed in (what I'm sure was) defeat. We sat in a peaceful silence for a few minutes, watching the flames of his living room fire flicker and rage before the quiet was broken.
"…But seriously, doesn't that outfit embarrass you?"