CHAPTER FOURTEEN
A/N: OK so the song for this chapter is Still Into You. All I need to say. Oh there may be a bit of smut at some point so just an advance warning. Oh and there is a twist to this story in this chapter so just watch out for it? Muhahahahahahahahaha also as I wrote this chapter I did think of the song DECODE but that is more towards the end of the chapter that it would kick in. Please leave reviews and get your friends to read the story too lol I want to hit 4000 views before I start part 2 so there is a bit of incentive for you to get new people reading lol.
CK If the start of the chapter is what you mean by tits up then go fill your boots :p
The evening went pleasantly enough. Cosima wasn't drinking much and Delphine was drinking maybe a little too much. They engaged in friendly chat. Got up and danced a little. Delphine dancing a bit too close for comfort, but doing that made Cosima brave and she took the chance and softly kissed Delphine's neck as she turned round to dance up against Cosima.
Delphine wanted to move away but her body wouldn't let her. It had craved this for so long. Cosima did still want her as much as she did. This made her heart soar in her chest. She wasn't sure what she should do. They were not working so it couldn't be wrong could it? The alcohol clouded her judgement and she leant her head back on Cosima's shoulder and easily found the other woman's lips. She hungrily kissed her, their mouths moving in unison letting each other in. Cosima's hands tentatively move under Delphine's jumper. She wanted to feel her again. Delphine moved into the touch her body betraying her with every move. Her brain is screaming for her to stop and move away but her heart telling her to carry on.
Cosima couldn't believe what was happening. She turned Delphine round so she could kiss her fully. Again Delphine moved into the kiss. They found themselves moving to a corner of the club, eager hands grabbing anywhere they could. Suddenly Cosima pulled away.
"What's wrong Cherie don't you want this? Delphine asked disappointed.
"Yes more than anything but are you sure this is what you want? I don't want to ruin things between us if we carry on." Cosima explained.
Delphine took Cosima's hand and put it against her heart.
"This heart is beating for you. You send my heart soaring every time I see you. How am I supposed live when all I live for, all I breathe for is you!"
Cosima was shocked at this admission from Delphine. She let her hand linger on Delphine's chest for a moment more.
"I love you!" Cosima said as tears began to form in her eyes.
"Hey, hey don't cry Cherie." Delphine soothed. Taking hold of Cosima's face gently in hands. She had never wanted to make Cosima cry ever. Taking her face in her hands again she kissed the tearful girl again. "Let's not think about anything except for right now!"
Tears were soon forgotten as Cosima took Delphine's hand and they stumbled out of the club. Cosima knew the area so she led them both to a hotel she knew.
They blindly made their way to the room between kisses and exploring hands. They fell in the door and as soon as it was closed, clothes began being thrown to the floor. They stood naked looking at each other as if it was the first time.
Delphine noticed that Cosima had lost some weight and slowly moved towards the woman she loved completely. Hands ghosting down Cosima's torso, feeling her shiver at the sight of her.
"You are so beautiful!" Delphine whispered as she leant to kiss Cosima's shoulder.
"No you are the beautiful one." Cosima replied as she took a sharp intake of breath as Delphine's lips never left her skin.
Words were soon forgotten as the slow leisurely kisses became more heated. Lips becoming swollen, hands still exploring every inch of each other's bodies. Suddenly Delphine stopped.
"What's wrong?" Cosima asked breathlessly.
Delphine shook her head and took Cosima's hand. She led her over to the bed.
"Make love to me!" She whispered, barely audible.
Cosima knelt down in front of Delphine, her eyes asking if she was sure and Delphine's nod confirmed things for her. Gently pushing her down Cosima slowly made her way up Delphine's body.
Delphine woke up to arms around her waist. It took her a few minutes to focus on where she was. Her head was throbbing from the fast approaching hangover. She was trying to remember what had happened when the body behind her shifted. She felt a soft pair of lips on the base of her neck. Hands snaking around her stomach slowly and deliberately making their way up to her breasts. Scared to look around Delphine allowed Cosima to continue with her mission. Soft kisses turning into wet open mouth suckles on her skin. Delphine could feel her heart rate rising. Her body betraying her, grinding back into Cosima.
"Hmmm morning Delphine." Cosima husked between kisses.
Delphine didn't respond. Knowing that saying Cosima's name would make everything come back into the real world instead of the little bubble they were in right now. Delphine turned round to face the smaller woman. Putting her arms round her and kissing her hungrily. Cosima kissed her back just as hungrily, adjusting her body so that they were flush against each other, Cosima shifting her thigh between Delphine's legs. Delphine let out a little moan; she had missed this so much. She had been foolish to cut herself from Cosima in this way. She realised that she should have just left the job.
"Where are you Delphine?" Cosima asked concerned.
"I'm here with you ma Cherie, always here with you." She replied quietly as she kissed the other woman again. Her hips moving against her.
"I don't want to leave here today. Do we have to leave?" Cosima asked as the urgency in her movements against Delphine began to overtake her.
Delphine didn't answer, she let her hands answer for her, moving down fingers finding Cosima's wet centre easily, and sliding in two fingers at first, Cosima moaning loudly as the fingers entered her.
"Fuck, I have wanted this so much!" Cosima said between ragged breaths. Cosima's deft hands finding Delphine's own swollen and wet sex. They both moved against each other becoming a tangled and sweaty mess of limbs.
"Come for me ma Cherie!" Delphine husked feeling her own climax approaching rapidly.
Hearing this seemed to undo Cosima completely and they came together. Crying out loud for each other. Holding each other tight. Delphine crying. Not her usual quiet sobs she normally had after sex but full heart wrenching ones.
"Hey, hey. It's ok baby." Cosima soothed regaining her composure enough to comfort the blonde.
"Nnnno it iiiisn't!" Delphine sobbed.
"Everything is alright, what happened stays here." Cosima said quietly.
"It sh….sh…shouldn't have happened. I am such a weak person!" Delphine said more to herself than to Cosima.
"You are not weak at all. You are the strongest woman I have ever met. That is what makes me love you all the more." Cosima said gently stroking at Delphine's face.
Delphine continued to cry. She knew Cosima was right whatever happened here would stay here. She wouldn't let it affect her elsewhere. But it still didn't help with the fact that right now she did hate herself so much for being weak.
"Delphine we can't help how we feel. We are human. You are the most important person in my life and have been since I met you. I am so still into you it is unbelievable. I thought that you had gone off me because all we seemed to do was go out. Never have time alone at the house. At least when we were in close proximity I would hear you whisper 'I love you' as I left the room or I would catch you watching me. I missed having you close to me because when we were out you would always be in front of me so I couldn't see you. Delphine this last month I have had my heart broken so many times. Without actually being with someone. I want you to know that last night, when you told me that you love me was the single most awesomest moment of my life. If my smile could have lit up the sky it would have. Delphine you are my everything." Cosima admitted, tears streaming down her face.
"Don't cry ma Cherie. I am here now." Delphine soothed the crying girl in her arms. She didn't want to say what she wanted because it was too complicated.
"We need to leave soon Cosima." Delphine said after a short while. "Will you shower with me?" She asked straight after.
Cosima nodded. She wanted to spend every last minute she could wrapped up in the woman she loves arms.
They both emerged from the bathroom an hour later. Dark marks starting to form on both their necks. Cosima looked at Delphine as she dressed. She was taking her time as if she was prolonging their time away from the real world. It was almost like she didn't want to go back just as she didn't want to.
The ringing of Cosima's phone broke the comfortable yet tense silence in the room.
"Hi Mum, what's up?" She said into the phone.
Delphine could hear the muffled voice was annoyed. She couldn't hear the words being said but she could see in Cosima's face that her mum wasn't happy.
"Mum, I have Delphine with me so you needn't have worried. Yes she did take care of me. No I didn't get too drunk. Mum stop worrying. I am a grown up. I am not a child. So what if I have MS I want to live my life the way I want to! I'm going now because you are making me upset. You are coming round tomorrow? Fuck mum you could at least give me a bit more notice so I can prepare things and make sure that Delphine is cool with it! You forget she is employed to be with me she doesn't have to meet you if she doesn't want to! No mum you do not pay for it I do. I use the money that Dad left me for everything. You are just bitter because he left more for me than he did for you or Sarah! OK I'm gone!" Cosima hung up the call and threw the phone on the bed.
"Every fucking time she doesn't like something she uses the Dad card on me. Dad loved me so much he would let me be who I wanted to be not trying to smother me just because of this!" Cosima started hitting out at herself.
Delphine looked on frightened she had never seen Cosima this upset. Moving over to her quickly she took the other woman's hands in her own.
"Please don't do that ma Cherie. You are an amazing person. I admire you so much. Having to go through what you are so young and on your own." Delphine said stroking the other woman's wrists.
"I'm not on my own anymore though. I have you!" Cosima sobbed.
"Always!" Delphine replied simply trying not to start crying herself as it was breaking her heart seeing Cosima so broken.
After a short while the two women let go of each other and Cosima went to the bathroom to freshen up and Delphine took care of the hotel bill. They walked slowly to the train station. Both not knowing what would be waiting for them when they got back. The caught the train, sat close to each other holding hands. Not wanting to lose the closeness just yet. Delphine dozed on Cosima's shoulder. Cosima laying soft kisses on the top of Delphine's head. They looked like any other young couple in love.
The conductor on the train let them know that they were coming up to Victoria station and they moved apart. Suddenly they both felt empty and alone.
"You can go straight home if you want?" Cosima said to Delphine.
"No I want to come with you." Delphine replied simply. She didn't want to admit that she wanted to make sure that Cosima got home safely, after the phone call she had been unusually quiet and that worried Delphine.
Instead of getting a taxi back to Cosima's they got the bus again it was like they were prolonging having to part ways. Delphine stayed close to Cosima they didn't touch but Delphine wanted Cosima to know that she was there and if she needed to she could hold her.
After about 45 minutes on the bus they got to a few streets away from Cosima's place.
"You know you don't have to come back with me." Cosima said non committedly to Delphine.
"I know but I want to. I want to be here for you. I want you to know that I am here for you no matter what." Delphine admitted.
"I know you are here for me. But you don't have to babysit me!" Cosima said a bit angrier than she realised.
"Is that what you think I am doing? Cosima I am here because I love you. I wouldn't be here otherwise. I don't want you to be alone just yet. I know you have had a shit morning. I am being paid to be with you until tonight. But stuff the money I want to stay with you because of this!" Delphine said as she took Cosima's hand and placed it on her heart. It was beating wildly, Cosima didn't move to take her hand away, she just looked away ashamed.
"I just don't want you to think I am some pathetic little girl who gets upset about her dead dad. When I do get upset I feel like the 12 year old that fell to pieces beside his grave because I wanted to either get in with him or I wanted it to be a seriously sick practical joke. I have never really got over it. He was just so healthy one day and then the next he was gone. Mum played the blame game with me saying it was my diagnosis that caused him to kill himself. I have had that held to me for the last 17years and I do blame myself sometimes. I think maybe if I hadn't been born he would still be here." Cosima admitted. Tears falling freely and she didn't care that she was in the middle of the street.
"I understand completely. Even though I lost my father in a different way I have often blamed myself for it happening as we had argued before my parents had left for the trip. So I often think if we hadn't argued then maybe he would have driven a bit more carefully." Delphine's eyes filled with tears but she bit them back because this wasn't about her it was about Cosima.
Cosima began to compose herself and took Delphine's arm and they began to walk the last part of the journey back to the house. There was a comfortable silence between them, as they rounded the last corner before Cosima's street they let go of each other. Cosima took her keys out and made her way to the front door and let them both in. Cosima closed the door and locked it. She didn't want her mother turning up unannounced.
Delphine pulled Cosima in for a hug she could do that much for her at least.
"Don't leave me alone tonight please." Cosima begged into her shoulder.
"I will stay in the spare room. I will be close." Delphine said softly.
Delphine could feel Cosima nod into her shoulder.
They spent the afternoon and evening in a comfortable silence. Chatting about nothing in particular. When it came to going to bed Delphine went to the bathroom and put on some pjs that she had left when she had been staying more regularly before. She went to the spare room next to Cosima's room to put her clothes in and found Cosima in her bed.
"Cosima we can't!" Delphine said quietly.
"No I don't want that. I just want to be held please." Cosima begged.
Delphine couldn't help but give in especially when she saw Cosima's bottom lip begin to quiver.
"OK but this will be the last time. We can't do this anymore it's not good for us." Delphine whispered.
Cosima nodded as she let Delphine get into the bed with her. She wrapped her arms around the other woman and just held her like she promised. She could do that. They fell asleep quite quickly as they relaxed into each other.
Cosima woke to Delphine tight against her back. Her hips grinding into her backside. Delphine's hands were between her legs Cosima let out a soft moan. She put her hand on top of Delphine's as if to move them but Delphine wasn't having any of it.
"I want to." She whispered into Cosima's ear as she began to move on top of her lover. Cosima removed Delphine's pjs quickly before she changed her mind. She could feel the wetness from Delphine's arousal on her and that turned her on so much more. She quickly shed her own nightwear. She pushed her hips up to meet with Delphine's as they ground down on her. Cosima's hands tight on Delphine's hips. Delphine sat up some more and angled herself so she could free her hands. As she lowered herself down, she felt Cosima's wetness mix with her own and this drove her wild. She bucked her hips so that her swollen sex hit Cosima's. Cosima was moaning out loud.
"Oh fuck Delphine! Oh god yes!" Cosima panted as she felt her orgasm arrive all too quickly.
Just as Delphine was about to come the door crashed open
"Get the fuck off my daughter!"