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God this day couldn't have gone any more "fifty shades of fucked up" as my dad would say. I want nothing more than to take Olivia into my arms and lose myself in her lips, her body, in all she is. I don't. As the door closes behind her, I just sit there. I sit there staring at my screen, staring at the name of a woman I had yet to forget about. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn't. I knew deep down I didn't love her anymore, but how could I trust anyone after what she did? Olivia had she would lose more than I would but the reality is different. She didn't know that my heart already ached from a pain of long ago and the crippling fear I had of being so exposed to anyone outside of my family. I feared losing myself once more.
"Fuck it," I say before racing out of my office just in time to catch Olivia by her arm. Pulling her into my embrace, she lets out a small gasp as she stares up at me in surprise.
"What the hell are you doing?''
"Not thinking," I murmur as I wrap my hands around her thin waist.
"You need a fucking therapist," she growls.
I let out a laugh at her growl but my hold on her only tightens as she tries pulling away.
"Let me go or I swear you won't have any kids!''
"I'm sorry for my attitude. I know I…I know I'm not easy to understand but I will try Olivia.''
"Try what?'' she asks with an annoyed gaze.
"I want to try with you. Let me show you that I'm not the typical boss trying to get his pretty assistant into bed. I promise that's not what I want from you," I murmur as I lower my head towards hers.
"You don't want to sleep with me?''
"Well…not only," I smile, making her laugh softly.
"Your mood swings are really giving me whiplash," she snaps at me.
"I know. I'm sorry.''
"Please let go of me. I don't want anyone to see us like this," she whispers as she looks around for lurkers.
Choosing to not think once again, I not so gently push her into my office. Once we're inside I push her against the door and look down at her beautiful face.
"Tell me you don't want this," I order her as I cage her in between my body and the door. "Tell me you don't feel this connection we have. Tell me you didn't feel it from the moment you waltz into my life.''
Her breathing is labored as I begin placing gentle kisses on face, avoiding her supple lips. I wanted her to beg me to kiss her. I wanted her to know that I forced nothing. I needed her to come to me wanting this.
"Tell me you don't think about us being together. Tell me you don't want –"
"Yes. I want this," she says before pulling me by my tie and pressing her lips against my own, effectively putting an end to my words.
Moving my hands away from the wall, I run them down her sides, enjoying the way she presses into me. I gently caress her neck as our lips battle for dominance. As the kiss grows hotter, I feel the ice wall surrounding my heart begin to thaw. My pain long gone and in its place there is a fire burning with need. I breathed heavily as our tongues grazed each other. I felt the hot friction between us become unbearable. Feeling brave, I wrap my arms around her and lift her off her feet, walking her over to my desk. Laying her against the cool surface without breaking the kiss, I slowly move my hand up and down her leg before pulling away.
I look down at her in wonder and pure lust. Her face is flushed, eyes dark and wanting, and her hair comes loose from its bun. She's a goddess. A siren come to take me away from all I've known. I needed to have her. I needed to know she wanted this as much as I did.
"Tell me to stop," I murmur as I lean my body over hers.
"Touch me," she whispers, slowly wrapping her legs around my waist.
Her soft spoken order and the feel of her long legs surrounding me is enough for me to let go of everything. I could care less that we were about to have sex in my office or that at any minute someone could just walk in. I didn't care. I only knew what I wanted. I only needed her.
"Are you on the pill?'' I ask her.
"The pill?'' she asks, moaning as I begin laying kisses against her swan-like neck.
"Contraceptives. I don't have a condom," I say against her. "I'm safe I promise.''
"I...I um…''
"What?'' I ask, moving up so I can look down at her.
She looks up at me in what to my surprise is fear and anxiousness. Her lips part as if she wants to speak but no words come.
"We don't have to do this," I say in a soothing voice.
"I want to but…''
"But what?'' I ask as she looks away from me.
Before she can respond, I hear Phoebe's annoying ringtone. Growling, I push off of her and answer my cell.
"Has anyone ever told you that you are the perfect form of birth control?'' I growl at Phoebe.
"Hello to you too dearest brother!'' she sings, sounding too happy for my taste. "I'm sorry were you busy?''
"Don't act like you care," I say as I spot Olivia standing away from the desk, trying to discreetly leave the office. With a small glare, I block her way and push her back onto the desk.
"Wait, I thought you were being celibate," she giggles. "Who are you with?''
"None of your business to both questions," I snap at her.
"My, my, my. Aren't we just cranky.''
"What do you want Phoebe?''
"I thought we were doing dinner tonight. I'm almost off work and we have so much to talk about! Tell me you can leave your latest hookup for some quality time with me," she says with a pout clear in her voice.
"Damn it," I huff, remembering all about our dinner plans.
"Don't make me get daddy, Theodore.''
"Dads with mom today –''
"Daddy always has time for me.''
Closing my eyes at my annoying sister and knowing well that I couldn't just cancel on her again, I start to think again and push down what I feel.
"Fine. I'll be there in about twenty minutes or so," I say.
"Fabulous! See you soon Teddy bear," she says before hanging up.
Placing my phone in my pocket, I let out a sigh as I turn to the object of my desires.
"I'm sorry but I promised to take my sister out tonight," I murmur, stepping in between her legs.
"It's okay. We shouldn't…we shouldn't have done this.''
"We didn't do anything wrong.''
"Sleeping with your boss in his office where anyone can her or walk in is wrong.''
"You're right," I say.
"I am?'' she asks in a small voice.
"You are," I nod. "If we ever sleep together it's going to be on a bed and not a desk. It's what you deserve. A nice, romantic night. Just the two of us.''
Her eyes glaze over at my words and her breathing comes in short pants as I step closer to her, allowing her to feel how much I need and want her.
"What about real-life Barbie?'' she asks while making a face.
"Who?'' I ask.
"Amanda Carter.''
I laugh at her adorable pout and run my hand down the side of her face, pushing a piece of fallen hair behind her ear.
"We're just friends.''
"Right," she huffs.
"I'm serious. I won't lie and say we've never been together but we have different paths in life. We'll never be more than friends.''
"I'm supposed to believe you?''
"Do you think I'm lying to you?''
Her green eyes stare at mine as if trying unveil all my secrets through a single look and I let her. I need this. I crave this sort of intimacy with someone. I want her to uncover the real me and help me out of my hell.
"No. I believe you," she says with a small smile.
"You know…I'm supposed to be practicing celibacy and you have definitely made it harder for me," I tease.
Her eyes bulge at my confession and she lets out a nervous laugh as if talking about sex was an uncomfortable subject. It's then I remember how nervous she had been when I asked her about the pill and how she shook at being touched.
She can't be, can she? She's almost twenty-three…
"Olivia, you've had sex before haven't you?''
Her face flushes at my question and she looks mortified at my openness about the subject.
"That's not a proper question for you to ask," she huffs, trying to avoid my gaze.
Oh my god, she is! Fuck, I had almost taken her virginity on a fucking desk.
"Olivia be honest with me. If we want this to work we have to be honest. I'm trying to be open with you and I hope you can do the same," I coax.
"I…I haven't…I've never," she rambles.
"Fuck," I say out loud, making her look back up at me.
"I'm sorry," she apologizes.
"You're sorry? I almost made your first time be on a desk!''
"I wanted to," she says as she lifts up her chin, giving me a small glare. "I'm not some little damsel.''
I let out an exasperated laugh and take her face between my hands. "You're first time should be special.''
She shrugs as if not really caring. It seemed she hated anyone feeling sorry for her and it made me want to protect her even more. She was just as closed off as I was. Perhaps that's why I felt such a pull towards her, because we were so similar.
"Was your first time special?'' she asks shyly.
I freeze at her question and before I can help myself memories begin flooding my head. Memories of two teenagers giddy and excited for what was to come after heated kissing and heavy touching. Memories of being in her small house while her dad was at work. Memories of skin against skin and of more promises that were only lies…
"Theodore," she pants in my ear as I carefully begin thrusting into her.
"Is this okay?'' I ask her timidly.
She nods quickly as I start creating a rhythm, holding on tight to my arms.
"I love you Theodore. I love you. I love you…
"Theodore?'' Olivia calls me back into the present as another voice fights for me to remember the past.
Theodore. Oh Theodore…
"Theodore," Olivia calls again and immediately all the memories vanish to that hidden part of mind.
"I'm going to woo you," I announce to her with a smile.
"What?'' she laughs.
"We're not going to have sex, at least not until you are absolutely in love with me.''
"In love with you?'' she asks with an arched brow.
"You wound me Miss Hart. Do you think I'm incapable of winning your love?''
"From what I've heard you aren't exactly a relationship sort of guy.''
"Things change," I shrug.
"How so?''
"You've made me open my eyes to the possibility.''
"The possibility of what?''
"Of being able to fall for someone again.''
"I'm sorry," she murmurs as she takes my hands in hers.
"You apologize too much, you know? What are you apologizing about this time?'' I tease.
"For what she did," she says simply.
Before I can respond back, her lips are on mine again in a sweet kiss but it's much shorter than our first.
"You can woo me," she smiles. "As long as you let me woo you too.''
"I think I'm already wooed Miss Hart.''
"Getting beaten up by me doesn't count.''
"I don't know…you stepping on me and hitting me with the door was pretty hot…''
She laughs, pushing me away gently so she can stand back but before she can walk off, I pull her back into my embrace.
"You're really a virgin?'' I ask her for confirmation not because I doubt her.
She nods shyly.
"Fuck. You're almost twenty-three, how haven't you?''
"There was no one I've ever wanted," she murmurs.
"So that means I'll be the lucky one that gets to deflower you?'' I tease.
She rolls her eyes but the blush is clear on her cheeks. "As long as you woo me Mr. Grey.''
"Believe me Miss Hart when I say that you will most certainly be wooed," I purr before bending down to whisper in her ear, "if anyone is getting into those panties it's going to be me.''
"We shall see," she says cheekily; pushing me away so she can stand back up.
"We most certainly shall," I all but purr as she begins fixing her appearance.
"You're gawking," she teases while straightening the pins in her hair.
"I'm admiring a beautiful woman.'' I smile as the blush returns to her cheeks.
"You should be getting ready to leave. Aren't you going out with your sister?''
"Unfortunately. Her worshipfulness is making me have dinner with her because I bailed on our lunch plans.''
"To be with life-size Barbie?''
"Her names Amanda and no. I bailed on Phoebe so she would go out with Nick. I told you this morning, remember? Amanda left right after they did.''
"Right. Yes, I remember.''
"No need to be jealous," I tease.
"I'm not.''
"Sure you're not.''
She throws a small glare my way before smiling once more. "I met your sister by the way. Actually I sort of tackled her to the ground.''
I let out a loud laugh at her confession, shaking my head at the thought of her taking down the royal princess.
"You really know how to make an entrance into someone's acquaintance, don't you?''
"It was an accident and I apologized profoundly! She didn't seem upset…''
"Phoebe is rarely upset. She's a ray of sunshine," I smile as I normally do when talking about my little sister.
"She's very pretty and sweet," Olivia smiles as she looks down at my picture of Phoebe.
"That she is. My dad says she's just like mom but she honestly reminds me more of my Aunt Mia.''
"It must be nice to have a big family.''
"Sometimes," I say honestly; thinking about how intrusive they could be. "I love them.''
Her smile grows at my declaration but her eyes show a sadness that usually hides behind her walls.
"Is your cousin the only family you have?''
"No. Sydney's parents live in Portland. Her dad was my dad's brother.''
"Do you see them often?'' I ask, wanting to know her more.
She nods happily. "We saw them the week prior to getting the job at GEH. They're always looking out for us. They treat me as if I were their daughter too.''
"My dad is adopted as you already know, but my grandparents love him and my aunt and uncle as if they were their birth parents. A parent might not always be the ones that gave you life but the ones that showed love," I tell her.
"You always surprise me," she whispers as she steps closer to me.
"How so?''
"You aren't just some billionaire playboy. Though you should be careful or everyone will see you actuallyhavea heart…''
Phoebe bounces into the car, looking more cheery than ever. Her eyes shining like fireworks on the Fourth of July and her smile belonging on some toothpaste commercial.
"Hello darling brother of mine!'' she sings as she gives my cheek a sloppy kiss. "You're late.''
"Only by five minutes. I had paperwork to handle," I say innocently.
More like I was too busy kissing my assistant, but Phoebe didn't need to know that.
"Sure you did and I'm guessing the paperwork had two legs and blonde hair –''
"Why does everybody think I only sleep with blondes?'' I ask as I begin driving to our favorite restaurant.
"Have we seen you with anyone other than a blonde?'' she arches a brow in jest.
"Point made," I mumble. "So…How was lunch?''
"What lunch? Oh, you mean the lunch date you set me up on?'' she says in what I know is mock annoyance. The smile on her face gives her way and I know instantly that they had hit it off.
"I don't know what you're talking about," I smile.
"Since when has Theodore Raymond Grey ever set up his baby sister with a guy? Last time I checked you and dad were accomplices when it came to keeping my chastity belt intact," she pouts. "And he's older!''
"Hey, don't blame me for all your failed relationships. Last time I checked you never dated a guy more than a few weeks.''
She sticks out her tongue at me and searches for a retort I'm sure but before she can, I interrupt her.
"Tell me how was lunch?''
"Why should I? It's not like he'll last more than a few weeks," she huffs.
"So you're planning on dating Nick?'' I tease.
She shrugs, a smile returning to her features at the sound of his name.
"Don't be mad Phoebe. I was just teasing you," I console; giving her cheek a kiss as soon as the car is parked.
"They don't look at me the way daddy looks at mom," she whispers.
My eyes soften at her confession. Since she was a little girl Phoebe would always stare at the way dad kissed mom. She loved watching them together and more than once was she caught staring at mom's wedding dress in adoration.
"And what about Nick? Do you think he could ever look at you the way dad looks at mom?''
"He's very nice…''she smiles shyly.
I take her hand in mine and give it a squeeze. "As the son of Christian Grey, I should tell you to stay away from him. As your brother I want you to be happy. Nick is a good person – annoying –but if I have to choose between him and some idiot, I'll be cheering him on. Just promise me to take it slow.''
Phoebe wraps her arms around me, giving me one of her famous bear hugs that Uncle Elliot taught her to give. No matter how old we were and how we teased one another, she would always be my favorite person. I would always be there for her as I knew she was there for me. Even after seven years Phoebe still blamed herself for what happened with her. Phoebe had never liked her but I was blind.
"You might think I don't listen to you Teddy but I do. There's always a voice in my head telling me to do the right thing and it's not mom or dad's voice. It's yours.''
Smiling, I give her bronze curls a soft kiss.
"Alright Miss Grey let's get some food in you," I say as I pull away.
"Alright dad," she giggles sweetly but as I open the car door she whispers, "He did.''
Looking back at her I give her a questioning look.
"Mr. Holden. He looked at me the way dad looks at mom, but don't tell him I said that. A girl still has to play hard to get.''
Well…It seems that Nick had begun working his way into Phe's heart. Never had I seen her so excited for a guy that didn't have his name on a fashion line.
"I promise I won't tell," I tell her honestly.
"Pinky promise?'' she asks as she holds up her small finger up to me.
"Pinky promise," I reply, wrapping my own pinky around hers.
"How was your first day of work?'' I ask after taking a bite of my steak.
"Super exciting! My boss is amazing and says I have a real eye for art. I'll be helping set up an exhibition for their annual charity gala and of course I'm expecting for you to make an appearance. It'll be in a few weeks," she chatters excitedly.
"Setting up in exhibition already," I whistle. "I'm impressed. Though you are a Grey and if it's one thing Grey's do best it's –''
"Raising the ordinary to extraordinary" she finishes.
"I'm proud of you baby sissy," I say holding up my glass of wine. "To the future head of Seattle's Art Museum.''
She laughs, clicking her own glass of water with mine. "I'm only an assistant.''
"So was mom and now she's the CEO of Grey House.''
"So I should get dad to but the museum then?''
We both laugh at our dad's – not so subtle – way of keeping mom under his watchful eye when they had first started dating.
"Who knows? Ask Nick and he might buy it for you," I joke.
"You think?'' she giggles.
"He might just be as crazy as dad.''
"You know what they say. A girl marries her dad.''
"Good luck with that. You'd think one megalomaniac would be enough for you.''
"I don't know about that. You're just as megalomaniac as he is," she teases; smiling around a bite of her salmon.
"Am not!''
"Oh please. Have you ever heard yourself talk? Or have you ever seen the home videos from when you were a baby? You were absolutely a demanding little brat! There's a reason people say you're a mini Christian Grey.''
"Takes one to know one," I retort like a toddler.
"And they call me the immature one," she drawls.
I give her the famous Grey smile as she purses her lips in mock distaste.
"So I heard you got ran over today," I murmur; wanting to know what she thinks of Olivia.
"What? Oh! The blonde girl at GEH. Olivia Hart, yes?''
"Yes. She's my assistant. She'll be taking Andrea's place when dad steps down.''
"She's very pretty and super sweet from what I could tell. She was absolutely mortified for bumping into me.''
"Yes, she told me. So…you like her?'' I try asking nonchalantly.
"Well I don't really know her but she seems genuine. There are few people in our world we can say that about but she doesn't seem like the rest. She kind of reminds me of mom. The big doe eyes and loving smile…''
"She does, doesn't she? Mom wasn't so keen on her though.''
"Mom doesn't like anything with two legs and a vajayjay near you. Although, she does like Amanda. But why do you care so much?''
"Care about what?'' I ask, finishing up my food.
"About whether or not mom and I are keen on your assistant," she arches a delicate brow.
"Just wondering," I say with a shrug.
"I'm sure you are," she says with a wink in her eye. "But what about Amanda?''
"What about Amanda?''
"Aren't you guys going to the gala together this weekend? Please tell me you aren't planning on playing with this girl! She seemed really sweet.''
"Amanda and I are just friends. Besides, she's having some issues with her own love life.''
"Her love life? Are we talking about the same Amanda Carter? The girl that vows she will never be a little woman?''
"Never say never," I shrug. "It seems that billionaire entrepreneur Aiden Vandervick has stolen her attentions from right under her.''
"Aiden Vandervick! Oh he's gorgeous," she sighs.
"You know him?'' I arch a brow.
"When I was in New York," she nods her head. "He's Swedish and very tall. We met at an art exhibition for underprivileged kids he donated too, but we barely talked.''
"So he's gorgeous, huh?'' I pout.
"Blonde, icy blue eyes, nice smile –''
"Alright, I get the picture.''
"Teddy, you can't possibly be jealous.''
"Of course I'm not. Amanda and I are just friends, but I just wanted to know what this guy has to make her turn left.''
"He was very charming when we spoke, but he really didn't care about what all the elite had to say about him. He mostly spent time talking to the children and playing with them.''
"So he's everything Amanda hates. He likes kids and he's human," I laugh; downing my wine.
"He must've really charmed the pants off of her.''
I snort at how right she was. "You can say that.''
"Did they have sex?'' Phoebe whispers in shock.
"Excuse you! Don't use such language when speaking with your brother.''
She makes a face at my teasing but otherwise ignores it. "Tell me!''
"I can't. I'm under the sacred oath.''
"Like that has ever stopped you.''
"Sorry Phe, my lips are sealed.''
"Fine. I'll just have to ask her myself. He must be amazing in bed if Amanda's head has turned.''
"Oh my god Phoebe! Don't ever say that again. I don't want to hear bed, sex, or amazing in the same sentence from you.''
"Oh Teddy," she laughs.
"Mom and dad aren't home?'' I ask as I pull into the driveway of my childhood home.
"No. Daddy said they were taking a spontaneous trip to Oregon. Something about the Heathman Hotel.''
"I don't want to know," I gag.
"At least you don't live with them," she huffs. "I swear I heard mom say kinky fuckery last night. I love seeing them so in love but I don't want to know what they do behind closed doors.''
"Kinky fuckery?''
"That's what I heard.''
"God, they're gross.''
"I don't even know what they mean by that. Is kinky fuckery like when you –''
"Phoebe! Shut up!'' I say before stepping out of the car and helping her out as well.
"It's just a question," she pouts as we head towards the house.
"Your ears are too innocent Phoebe.''
"I'm an adult!'' she huffs.
"Sure you are. Hello Sawyer, Ryan," I greet as I spot dad's faithful bodyguards manning the entrance.
"Mr. Grey. Miss Grey," they greet.
"Why do I even bother? You've know us since before we were even born and yet you always seem to forget our names.''
"Don't tease them Teddy. Ryan almost had a coronary when I asked him to take shots with me and Ava.''
Sawyer and I both let out a laugh at Ryan's expense. The man had been assigned to Phoebe since the moment she came out of the womb and had followed her around even when she crawled. Dad always joked that he would have to pay him more for all that Phoebe makes him go through. The poor man practically has a heart attack every time Phoebe goes out.
"And you Sawyer? Shouldn't you be my mom's shadow?'' I ask, taking pity on poor Ryan.
"Mr. Grey allowed Taylor and me to take the night off. They wanted to take Charlie Tango out for a night.''
"Say no more," I gag once more at the thought of what those two were currently doing for the night. I'm one-hundred percent positive it was more than just taking Charlie Tango out for one night.
"You two can go rest for the night. Teddy can stay the night, can't you Teddy bear?'' Phoebe asks giving me her wide eyes and her famous pout.
"Yes Phe I can stay," I give a soft laugh; knowing well that I could never say no to that look.
"Yay! We can have a sleepover in my room like old times!'' she exclaims while clapping her hands.
"I don't think we fit in the tent anymore Phe.''
"My, aren't you just filled with jokes today. Here I thought you had no sense of humor.''
"What can I say I'm changing.''
"I wonder why?'' she teases before smiling at both Sawyer and Ryan. "Have a goodnight boys and please do something other than stalking my every move.''
They chuckle at Phoebe's tease but otherwise do as they are told and take their leave for the night happily.
"So what exactly does my dearest sister have planned for us tonight?'' I ask as we walk into the house.
"We can do each other's nails and hair," she laughs.
"I'd love to do your hair," I smile at her slowly, "do you want it green or yellow?''
Her face grows in horror no doubt remembering the time I had painted her hair orange when we were little. Damn dad had not been happy that day at seeing his little girl crying in horror at what I had done. Those were the days…
"You wouldn't dare,'' she glares.
"I did when I six," I say as I advance on her.
"Get away from me you weirdo!'' she shrieks as she tries climbing up the stairs.
Easily I swoop her into my arms and carry her over my shoulder, making her let out a squeal.
"Put me down Theodore!'' she giggles.
"I'm thinking green," I laugh evilly.
Awe, yes. It was nice being back home. It was nice having a sister that would always be there for you. Someone to laugh with and make you feel like a kid all over again. I knew Phoebe would never let me down.
I want to thank all of you for all the amazing reviews and for sticking with this story even after my lack of updates. I hope you guys enjoyed this and please let me know if there is anything you want added in this story like conversations between certain characters or another pov.