Chapter 4

Loki was back home the following morning.

Yet as soon as he arrived and once his parents were sure that he wouldn't leave the house right away or do something dangerous or stupid, the Laufeysons left with their two eldest to watch the football training. Loki was left alone. Again.

In truth, he didn't really mind. Not anymore. He wanted time for himself to think.

The incident of his drunk father at the garden party opened his eyes. He KNEW that his father was not a mean or evil person. He was just dumb. Plain dumb. And an alcoholic…

He might be brainy enough for his trade but his social and humane skills were catastrophic. He was incapable of understanding anything or anyone that didn't fit his conception of life and the way people should be and behave… He didn't have any patience to try and understand it either...

Loki knew that his mother was in respectful awe of her bully macho-man husband, her dream guy, and that she venerated her eldest sons. Her dream boys and the dream life she wanted since she was very small.

Perfect, except for Loki.

At the time of his birth, she had hoped for a girl and unconsciously resented Loki for being a male. She was a woman who lived by clichés and a third boy with a brain, a taste for independence and a tendency to judge was not what she had planned.

They were not bad people, they were simply close-minded individuals that felt any type of difference as a threat to their little organized world… And, in his case, Loki was a major difference.

He had to think. He needed to get some space once he graduated from high school. He was determined to finish it as soon as possible, to leave the house to go to his dream College (Loki was certain of being admitted). He was not yet seeing himself as an adult with a career at first. Getting fresh air from all of this was fairly more urgent.

He went downstairs to the kitchen. He settled himself down to some coffee and breakfast. It was comfortable to be on his own, peaceful...

Until he saw the kitchen wall calendar and saw that today was his own birthday.

Loki burst out laughing on his own, almost bent on his mother's brand new kitchen table. It was kind of funny, in a way. He had been so obsessed by his own predicament and his parents had been so focused on their garden party and their boys' training that everyone had totally forgot about that, even Loki. He wiped his eyes, still laughing. He was not even mad. It was simply absurd.

It didn't matter. Loki didn't feel like celebrating anyway. He didn't really care at all. Really.

Loki ate without much pleasure. He wondered what to do with the rest of the day. Maybe the library to fetch some new books and finish this paper for English classes. Maybe go to the gym... Not that Loki would do wonders in that department. Furthermore he hated the muscle guys who paraded around the place, challenging each other and openly despising Loki.

He was still thinking about it when the bell rang. Great, he thought, I was too much at ease, I had to be disturbed...

He opened the door, expecting an annoying neighbor for his mother or an idiotic friend of his brothers, but found himself in front of Thor Odinson's blue eyes and his flashing smile.

"Hello there ! I wanted to see if you were okay..."

He made a friendly gesture of reaching out his hand. He was a little shy and probably had no idea what to expect. Loki was so surprised he didn't think about shaking his hand back. It was not rudeness. Loki would have never thought that Thor could come back the very day he checked out of the hospital. So he was destabilized. Thor made a little contrite smile and put away his hand before Loki could move. Both of them were a little lost and wondered how to behave in front of the other.

For an awkward second, they didn't know what to say or to do. Until Loki decided to invite him inside for a beer.

They calmly sat down in the kitchen and drank in silence. Thor could have slapped himself for his wishful thinking. Loki was certainly not going to welcome him that fast after the ruined garden party. Between them, nothing had occurred in a logical order. Thor had the feeling of having understood Loki's private troubles before even having been introduced to him or even talking to him for the first time.

On his side, Loki had no idea of what Thor's intentions might be. Was he in a friendly attitude ? Or was he doing something dubious ? Had he been told to act nice by someone or had he decided to do so on his own ? So much questions, very little answers and so many good reasons not to trust this handsome blond Texan hunk…

They made very small talk about school, Loki's health, their families, Loki's brothers in the team and the difficulties Thor had sometimes with them…

"I don't understand..." Loki said. "I thought you were friends ?"

Besides, if you are friends with my brothers, he really wanted to ask, why the hell are you hanging around me ?

"Well..." Thor shrugged. "Sure, we are friends, but... We're rivals too in the same posts. Especially your brother Bill..."

Loki smiled. He had a piece of mental laugh, imagining Bill's rancor at the sight of such a serious obstacle just during scouting period...

"They're not bad sports, your brothers, but... They don't have that much conversation that's not about football..."

Loki snorted discreetly. Thor thought it could be a good idea to clear some air and break the ice between him and Loki.

"Look, I am sorry for what happened with your Dad..."

Thor saw Loki cringe but he couldn't stop himself. He really wanted to set things right with Loki. Even if it meant being a little pushy...

"You know, he was a little out of hands... But, My Pop says he's really nice."

That was half a lie. Otto Odinson had indeed declared that Larry Laufeyson was actually nice... If only he wasn't drinking so much. Thor knew by his Pop that Loki's father had a secret hiding place for his personal whiskey, right in the office. Only Otto had discovered it by accident and didn't know what to do about it. That was why Thor wanted Loki to know he could at least trust Thor. The Texan was feeling bad from knowing so much embarrassing stuff and not telling Loki about it. At least for now. He was now stammering, at loss for something meaningful to say.

Loki simply made a disgusted grimace at the mention of Larry. It didn't bore good and Thor should have stopped at that moment, but it was as if his tongue was moving by itself. The tension was starting to grow. Exactly the contrary that Thor wanted to obtain.

"Look, I'm sorry... I know you're angry with me... About the pier... But that wasn't stalking ! I swear, I just..."

I am in love with you and very worried about you, that was the real thing he wanted to say. But now was not a good time.

Loki raised his hand to make Thor cut the confused speech. It wasn't an angry or aggressive response but it was indeed curt.

"Enough, Thor. I don't want to talk about... the pier. You helped and... Thank you, that's good. Thank you very much for that..."

Thor breathed. Loki's voice wasn't resentful, if it was indeed tense. But still, things were not getting any clearer.

One of Thor's big defect was his incapacity to feel when the mood is not right and matters should be left alone. He was making too much fuss around people he cared about and seemed in trouble. He couldn't help but always meddling when he was adamant he could fix it. He had a tendency to forget that this careless attitude could annoy the person he was actually trying to help.

"Don't mention it." Thor smiled. "But your Dad, your Mom and your brothers, they're not so bad, they..."

Loki slammed his hand on the table, almost toppling the beer bottles that made a clinking sound.

That totally shut Thor up. He wasn't expecting this outburst.

"I said enough." Growled Loki. "Enough about my father, my mother, my idiotic brothers or anyone else ! You know nothing about anything, Odinson !"

Thor didn't like being called 'Odinson', especially by Loki. He wanted to protest but Loki went on, not giving him any time to answer.

"You'll see very quickly that this place is not Dallas or Houston or wherever Texan haven you come from ! People here are not your friendly neighborhood !" Loki felt tears coming and it made him quite angry with himself. "You'll see that my father's happiness lies at the bottom of a drink, that's my Mom's life is limited to this house, my brothers and shopping. Not to mention that both of them don't mind a bit that those two degenerated bros of mine are turning this place into a brothel, as long as they are admitted to some super-star team ! They could commit rape or murder for all they care !"

Thor didn't like Loki raising his tone and venting his anger at him. But he didn't know what to say that wouldn't make Loki even more mad.

"And no one is talking about this total mess ! Everything is falling apart but I can't have my say in it because I'm..." Loki stopped. He was about to say "I am gay" to someone he didn't know that much. A blond Texan redneck and football hero, the combination of his worst nightmares. How could he ever trust Thor ?

Thor's ears perked up at the unfinished phrase but he let Loki go on. He felt that there was something Loki was hiding and he wanted to know what.

"Do you know how twisted it is ?" Loki went on, tears seriously threatening to spill. "Do you know what day is it ?" Loki knew he was sounding whiny, pathetic, childish but he couldn't stop. "It's my frigging birthday ! AND the day of my brothers' tryouts or something. Guess which one has so much more importance that they completely obliterated the other !?"

And then Loki cried, feeling like the most bratty crybaby ever. Never had he felt that much self-disgust in his life. He was ridiculous. Now, Thor would leave or insult him or both, or worse... His good intentions could not stand so much verbal aggression. Yet Thor looked more perplexed than vexed.

"It's your birthday… Today ? "

Loki nodded. He thought he had been clear.

"And … You're telling me that they went to your brothers' tryouts and totally forgot about it... right ?"

Texas does not produce Einsteins, Loki nastily thought.

Thor stand there, apparently thinking fast. Loki was a little disturbed. He had been expecting screams and abuses, doors to be slammed but not this quiet brainstorming.

"I know !" Thor joyously cried out. " Let's celebrate right now ! Let's have a party ! Just us two !"

Loki was flabbergasted, not sure he understood right. Thor's sunny face succeeding his calm countenance was unsettling.

"We'll go to the movies ! There's a good one still running ! And bowling ! There's a cool spot I noticed downtown ! Or ice skating ! Do you like ice skating ? There's a nearby place Pop told me about ! And we can even have ice creams and the like there ! Let's go Loki, grab your coat ! We're going to have fun !"

And before Loki could say anything he found himself out of the house and away to the movie theater, almost dragged by a chatty, cheerful Thor.

Despite Loki's reluctance and doubts, it was indeed a happy day.

They did go to the movies. They saw a silly one but Loki surprised himself laughing out loud for the first time in centuries. They went bowling then to a dinner for hamburgers and fries. Loki wasn't much into bowling but he wanted to humor Thor. Besides Thor had a way to make the most boring things interesting.

They didn't go ice skating for Loki was feeling very tired by now. Yet, Thor insisted they had an ice cream while looking at the more or less skillful skaters.

Loki shyly asked if they could go to his favorite place in the park near the lake. There was ducks and birds and swans Loki liked to feed. They went and laughed at the ducks quacking for crumbs. Then Thor left Loki to his duck feeding and came back with a huge birthday cake from the nearest bakery. Loki couldn't believe his eyes. There were even lit candles (how did he manage that ?!) and Thor insisted that Loki made a wish while blowing them. Loki complied but felt like a five-years old...

They sat on the bench in front of the lake and ate the cake with their fingers while watching the afternoon light on the water and the birds swimming and diving. Some came closer and the boys gave them pieces of the cake.

Licking the frosting off his fingers, Loki had to admit it was the best birthday party ever. It had been more fun than any party he had ever had. All of them had seemed a family obligation, forced and unnatural. Something you had to celebrate just because you had to.

It had started as a dull, gloomy day and it ended brilliantly with his hands full of cake and a promising sunset.

Thor was indeed very proud of himself. He was seeing for the first time a happy, smiling Loki. Needless to say, he was falling in love more and more.

He wanted to lick the tiny dot of vanilla cream on Loki's nose and then on Loki's lips.

But he contained himself. It would be a very bad idea. Their friendship was still fresh and fragile.

They parted after the sunset. Both of them rather glad. Thor made Loki promise to see him at school tomorrow. Loki agreed. Why not ? Thor was obviously nice to him and not going to stab him from behind... Hopefully.

When Loki's parents went back with his brothers, they looked quite contrite. After their sons had made quite a good job at their training, they had brusquely realized they had totally forgotten about the birthday... They made a quick shopping, bought a cake and a brand new luxury watch.

Loki had such a good day, he had no problem to seem content and be in a forgiving mood. His family didn't understand anymore. Loki laughed and talked with everyone and even served the champagne, flashing his wristwatch around proudly. It was a totally different Loki. A Loki with a new friend and a secret outdoor birthday party. He told nothing of his celebration with Thor. It was his and only his. But no one asked any question.

The next day, his father who still felt bad about forgetting about his youngest' birthday gave him a generous amount of pocket money "to be fair." Loki didn't like it. He had felt satisfied enough with Thor's intervention and was about to give it back or stash it away and forget about it.

Then he held the banknotes and realized that it was money for him and Thor, to repay his kindnesses. Thor deserved a proper thank-you invitation.

So the next weekend, they painted the town red again. This time by going to Thor's favorite places, the stadium for the next football match, the silly movies, the ice skating they missed last time... Loki had promised himself this day would be for Thor only.

Thor couldn't believe that Loki would take such pains for him. Thor knew that American football bore him to death. He took it as a good sign, but still he had to be careful.

They made idle small talk. Loki learned more about Thor and his four little brothers, Baldur, Höd, Vidar and Vali. They were all named after the Northerner god Odin's children. His father Otto chose them because of their family name, Odinson. Otto's parents were from Norway. Hence Thor's light skin, blond hair and blue eyes. Loki found all of this rather endearing.

Loki didn't talk much. He had had enough with his own. He was glad that someone else was the center of the conversation.

Again it was a fine day and the true start of their relationship.

Afterwards, Loki and Thor were constantly together, in and out of school. Thor picked Loki up when he finished working at the library and they did their homework either at Thor's or Loki's place. Although he fled the athletes like the plague, Loki went to Thor's training sessions and even the matches. No one suspected anything was amiss, though Loki's presence was eerie and he was renown for his detestation of sports. But it was also his brothers' team and everyone thought he was coming to support them. But seeing Thor was the real reason.

It went like this, quite pleasantly for a few weeks. Nothing changed for a while between them and no one wanted it to change... Not yet anyway.

Loki, curiously, had no idea of Thor's feelings. He assumed that Thor was a nice guy that felt a bit lonely and out of place with his thick Texan accent and his easy-going attitude. Indeed, it was hard for a boy used to simplicity like Thor to mix into this bunch of rich, holier-than-thou, prideful kids. Loki had come to the conclusion that Thor saw Loki as an outsider like him and didn't question Thor's motives any longer.

Thor knew that Loki didn't suspect anything and was ashamed of himself. It was as if he was fooling Loki. To Thor, his attitude wasn't honest. The worst thing ever.

He was almost a 100% sure that Loki was gay but he wasn't stupid and assuming Loki was gay, that didn't automatically mean that he would fall into Thor's arms right away. It was harder for Thor to hide his infatuation. When he saw Loki waving his arms and screaming encouragements when Thor was running for the ball, he only wanted to grab him and kiss his brains out.

Shamefully, he had started masturbating while thinking of an erotic and lustful Loki. He was really embarrassed but he couldn't help it...

He had to come clean to Loki. To tell him about what he really felt. Or else their friendship would be a total lie.

It was during on one of their walks back home that Thor decided to make a move. Loki was in a talking mood for he had beaten all the Mathletes at the last Math contest. He wasn't even part of their club and he had won the first place. The Mathletes had no trust in Loki because Bill and Harry had regularly bullied them while in junior school, that was why they had never wanted him in their club. A little unfair if not comprehensible. Yet, Loki couldn't help but rejoicing in having his revenge.

Thor was silent for once and unconsciously following the movements of Loki's lips.

They stopped near Loki's home. Loki was about to laugh about another math challenge anecdote when Thor grabbed him by the neck and kissed him on the mouth fully.

Loki reacted by pushing Thor away with his both hands. They looked at each other for a few seconds. Loki, out of breath from the shock and eyes wide opened. Thor, distressed and full of hope for Loki's reaction.

It went very fast. Loki's hands fled upwards and he started pummeling Thor who gasped in surprise and didn't defend himself right away. Loki was not hitting hard enough to hurt him physically but Thor was so panicked by this bad response to his feelings that he tried to grab Loki's arms in vain. Loki might not be very strong but he was indeed very fast.

"Loki, please, Loki stop ! Loki, please, please, let me explain, Loki !"

Loki was hitting and crying, indifferent to Thor's pleads. Or maybe he was so blinded by his own rage, he couldn't see nor hear anymore.

Thor had no choice but to give a hard push to Loki's chest. Loki hit the wall and fell on the ground, holding his chest. His school bag followed the same way and scattered itself on the pavement. Books and notes fled the crime scene. Thor was horrified. He had miscalculated his blow and given Loki a very bad one.

"Oh, Loki, I am so sorry, I..."

He stopped at the sight of Loki's face, red with a mighty anger, wet with his tears like a little boy making a tantrum and so very similar of the day of the asthma crisis on the pier. His eyes particularly were sparkling like angry diamonds, full of lightning and disgust.

He ignored Thor's hands to help him get up, crawled on the ground to stand back up far way from Thor.

Once on his feet, he ran to the gate, obviously running from Thor and his despair.

He turned around just when he was about to close the gate, preventing Thor to follow him inside. He looked horribly disfigured by his fuming and also by a terrible sens of being betrayed. He looked at Thor right in the eyes and opened a mouth like the one of a volcano.

"BASTARD ! Bastard ! All of you, LYING, deceitful BASTARDS !"

And with this, he sobbed and clanged the gates behind him.