Chapter 7

The Laufeysons' household was witnessing a true revolution. Loki, gloomy, grim, grumpy Loki had been transformed overnight into a brilliant joyful young man.

Loki had literally blossomed. There was no other word for such a transformation. He had lost that orphan-like look, he had lost the anger and bitterness in his eyes. They were now replaced by a strange fire no one had ever seen on a Laufeyson face. Except maybe Bill and Harry, when they hit the ball...

"Wassamater with ya?" Bill used to snort nastily. "You usin' or something ?"

To this, their mother made a mild reprimand about manners and Loki simply smiled, which made his complexion as blooming as ever. He had something that made up for every bad thing that might happen to him.

Loki was burning indeed. Burning with an unknown intensity, an overwhelming happiness, nothing could hurt him now or disturb his peace. Apparently.

He was not in love. Not yet. But he was utterly, completely, loved.

And that was even better.

This felicity had nothing to compare with. It was only challenged by bouts of sadness when Thor had to leave. But Thor couldn't bear to be far away from Loki too long. So these bouts were rather short.

The afternoon of their first time had seemed both long and short to Loki... They had spent the whole time in bed. They had at least two other rounds that were as exquisite as the first. Until Loki told Thor to stop or he would be too sore next morning. He didn't want his mother noticing him limping or his teachers wondering why did he look so exhausted. It made Thor laugh but yet, on his way home, he demanded that Loki called him when he was free so they could see each other.

Loki couldn't believe such a thing was happening to him. He knew, of course, that sex could be good, amazing even. But the stories he had heard all around only related to straight relationships. Of course, no one mentioned the gay ones... They were non-existent. No one would admit that such a thing could only happen...

After Tony, Loki had lost all hope of something meaningful. Now, with Thor, everything seemed possible. Thor knew how to please him, to make him happy. And thus Thor also seemed happy, in love.

If only Loki could reciprocate...

Loki was ashamed sometimes, as if he was using Thor for sexual pleasure and had no concern for his feelings. He never mentioned the L. word though... He didn't have to, it was obvious in the light of his eyes.

But, as if on cue, Thor and Loki only indulged on affection and the thrill of lust. Thor had a sexual appetite Loki had never seen the like. He was often demanding, finding impossible ways to see and kiss Loki at school. He would grab him by surprise, hide him behind a wall, a bush, a column, anything that could prevent any unwanted attention. And then kiss his brains away...

Yet, that was daring but Thor knew the limits. It only lasted for a few seconds and then went their separate ways. Which was fine for Loki. Their little affair needed to remain a secret. More than ever.

They found some time to spend together. It happened that Loki's house was more or less empty and his parents trusted him to watch over their priceless and futile possessions. Indeed, more than being watched over, they watched. Having the house for themselves gave them ideas and excitement. Never had Loki's bedroom heard so many cries of pleasure...

One sweet mid-afternoon, Loki was lying in bed, in Thor's arms, body and mind fully content. Thor has been particularly thorough and considerate...

"You have to be a god..." Loki purred softly, his head resting on Thor's chest. "You know me so well..."

Thor laughed and it made Loki's head roll.

"You're borderline on blasphemy, my love..." Thor chuckled.

Then he stopped. He had called Loki something that shouldn't be mentioned between them right now. Hearing this, Loki's heart skipped a beat.

'My love'... Again he wouldn't have believed in a million years anyone would ever call him that...

No matter how passionate their kisses were, no matter how devouring their desire for each other was, there was still this gap.

Thor loved him but Loki didn't. Not in the same way.

Loki simply sighed and settled a bit more on Thor's chest.

This detail set aside, they were happy. Thor wouldn't change anything for the world for now. Why bother ? Too hazardous. Loki was his in the particular way he could. Why push his luck ?

When they left the house, this same afternoon, Loki surprised himself once again by the sadness knowing that Thor would leave until tomorrow.

Whatever he had for him, this longing for him was real.

Thor's family knew about Loki. Thor's Mom guessed their relationship during a dinner at their house. In fact, Thor had no secret for her and the sparkles he and Loki exchanged across the table while remaining as good and silent were unmistakable. Thor confessed to her and Pop the next day. They simply smiled and told him to remain careful. Not only for prophylactic reasons, but also because they had to remain careful.

Thor and Loki were playing a dangerous game in this conservative milieu.

Yet Thor also took it as an invitation and the Odinsons' place was safer that the Laufeysons'. Thor invited Loki every time they were on their own. They spent delightful hours there.

For now, Thor desired for nothing. One month had passed without a care in the world (besides the one of being discovered, always present, always above their head, though invisible...) and Thor realized this was his longest male/male relationship and probably his more meaningful one.

That was because, one afternoon when they were alone in his own room and after a rather sweet love-making, Thor took advantage of their after sex bliss to ask.

"Baby..." Thor murmured. "I just love what we do but it is always the same way. Don't you want a little change ?"

Loki was almost dozing off. He couldn't make out what Thor wanted to say.

"What change, Thor ?"

Thor smiled. "You want to have me ?"

Loki chuckled. " I had you more than once already..."

Thor laughed. "Okay, I'll be less subtle. Wanna fuck me ?"

Loki jumped as if Thor had bit him without any warning.

"Are you kidding ?" Loki stared at him right in the eyes. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about stuffing your big pole up my..."

"Okay ! Okay !" Loki waved his hands. Crude words to explain sex had always been an embarrassment to him. "I get it but..."

"But ?" Thor raised an eyebrow. "You don't feel like it ?"

Loki realized then that he actually did feel like it. Except that it would have never crossed his mind, not in a million years. It seemed... inappropriate.

Loki stammered. "Someone like you... With someone like me... ?"

Thor sneered. "Whadaya mean 'someone like me' ? A big, strong beefcake like me can't take it up the ass by a little shrimp like you ? Is that it ?"

"Thor !" Loki yelled indignant. "First, I am not a shrimp, you dork ! And second..." He hesitated. "I don't know... Are you sure you want it ?"

Thor sighed.

"Baby, sex is not an unchangeable thing. It has multiple ways and not only one-sided ones. And yes, I would like you to fuck me senseless because I want you. You under me or me under you doesn't mean the one under is the lesser man, baby. We do it because we want it. Period. It doesn't concern anyone else."

Loki went red. A little bit for shame for thinking in such a prejudiced way, a little bit because the idea of Thor laying before him, his legs spread and tempting him made him very hot...

"Then... can we try ?" He smiled shyly.

A little while later, Thor had prepared himself and had Loki to lay down. He endeavored to straddle him. Loki was surprised.

"Let me show you, baby. Like this, I still have control and you can feel what I like and how you can make it good..."

Loki nodded. He was impressed. Even like this, in a rather seductive and submissive way, Thor still looked amazing.

He softly impaled himself, after having caressed Loki until he was full with desire.

Being in Thor was a weird compressing sensation. It was almost hurtful but it was indeed powerful. Like a vice. It took his breath away.

"Yea, baby... Like this..." Thor panted.

He moved up and down and it made Loki whimper every time.

"You so good, baby... Just let me..."

Thor, voluntarily or not, constricted and Loki made a gasp. The sharp movement he had then made Thor yelp in turn.

"Sorry ! Sorry !" Loki said. "Are you... ?"

"No..." Thor smiled, still gasping. "Congratulations, baby, you found the good spot right away."

Loki turned bright red. This was so embarrassing and thrilling... It encouraged him to lift himself, grab Thor's waist with both hands and pump into him with enthusiasm. It was like fighting his own body who barely took the weight, the pressure on the tender parts but Thor's happy response told Loki he was doing right.

"Yes, baby ! Yes ! Like this ! Yes !"

Loki couldn't believe he was awake. He was thrusting into Thor's magnificent body. He was pumping him shamelessly and Thor was allowing him to do it. He could feel the mighty arms around his shoulders, Thor's blond head and soft hair on his temple.

Then they both came at once and screamed. Thor had thrown his head back in fulfillment.

They laid like this for hours, without making a sound or a move, in each other' arms.

They briefly fell asleep. Yet Loki must have had a nightmare, for waking up, he felt as if Thor and him had been watched the whole time...

Thor couldn't hope for more... Well in fact, he was hoping for a little more indeed.

Things were fine but there were many problems. Thor could accept the fact that Loki was incapable of reciprocating, for now.

In fact, Thor didn't want to appear arrogant but he truly believed it was only a question of time before Loki's heart finally opened to him. Physical love as harmonious as this one couldn't lie. Thor had decided to remain patient and wait for Loki to come to him. Never to pressure him or demand anything too sentimental...

He knew he would win this fight because it was a fairly easy one compared to the real matter...

What of the future ? What of this rich and narrow-minded community that would cast them off the minute they suspected anything ? Would they have to live in the shadows for the rest of their lives together ? Being apart night and day ? Unable to share nor build anything together ?

Thor couldn't bear this thought. He dreamed of a life together, maybe not a big house but an apartment in town. They would both have their jobs and be together in the evening. Maybe have a cat for Loki and a dog for him. Maybe even fostering...

Thor painfully realized he was falling in the same deceiving pattern. Each time he felt a boy was very close to him, he was dreaming and picturing a future for them both. Only to be cruelly deceived by circumstances or the boy himself each time.

He didn't want this to happen with Loki. Things were a little too well.

But how could they come out ? How could they get out of the gilded cage ?

Thor had absolutely no idea...

Yet, as Thor's parents had advised them, they tried to look not to close to each other in public. They hid their feelings and led separate lives at school. It apparently worked for in such a gossiping place, nothing had transpired.

Yet.

Thor felt tired. The end-of-year competitions would be soon to come and Loki had his finishing exams to tend to. Soon, they would be out of school into college. Unfortunately, they had applied in different campuses. They would breathe a lighter air but they would be even more geographically apart. Would Loki and him able to stand a long-distance relationship ? Experience had taught Thor that this kind of thing was highly unlikely...

It was the end of the day and Thor had the surprise to see Loki near the huge iron gates. His heart just sang. Loki might want for them to go home together in Thor's brand new car his Pop got him for his birthday...

He madly wanted to grab him and kiss him in front of everyone but it would have been a social suicide...

Loki, seeing Thor, had a bright look on his face but a tiny smile. It didn't matter. Thor knew Loki was waiting for him. Him of all people.

And then Loki's happy concealed look turned into an outright expression of shock and horror. He had blanched in seconds.

Thor thought for a brief horrible moment that Loki was terrified of him. But he quickly realized Loki was looking at someone beside him. He turned over and saw no one in particular except a weird douche with greasy stylish black hair, black mafioso sunglasses, tiny mustache and goatee and wearing Gucci overpriced clothes instead of the school uniform.

Everything about the douche screamed money and "IwantIwantIwant..."

"Hey, babe !" Said unknown jerk to Loki who turned even whiter. "Miss me ?"

Heavens had cracked down and fell upon Loki. Hell has suddenly broke the ground and engulfed him into its furnace.

How could anything compare to this horror ?

Loki was standing face-to-face with his former tormentor and Thor was just stuck in the middle. One positive point, when the aftershock came, Loki realized that such a violent reaction of disgust was a pretty good report about Loki's current feelings towards Tony.

Tony. Tony who hurt and betrayed him in the worst manner possible.

Tony who was back, the devil knew how. Tony who was smiling and joking as if everything was perfectly normal.

Tony, two steps away from Thor who wasn't an idiot and had guessed by now who Tony actually was.

Thor who had moved on Loki's side, face perfectly calm but fists tightly clenched...

Tony looked at them both. Maybe he was also guessing things on his own.

"Woa, babe... Who's the beef ?"

Tony took a suspicious face. As if he was the wronged husband having caught his cheating wife. Loki was indignant. His controlled anger helped him getting his voice back before Thor could do anything bad...

"Tony, why are you here ?"

Tony looked genuinely surprised. He seemed to consider that Loki's question had an obvious answer.

"Why, to see you, hon ! It's been so long. I missed you actually ! Did you ?"

And he grinned again. Clearly unaware of Loki's state of mind and having already dismissed Thor from his mind as a secondary detail. Thor, who was getting closer to Loki, as if protecting him, was starting to look like a bulldog, ready to bite.

Loki's own anger was also mounting. The nerves of that man was unbelievable.

Yet, Loki had more control than Thor. He couldn't afford to make a scene but he didn't want to talk to Tony right now. If at all. Thor was in the way and Loki knew he could overreact when provoked.

And Tony was the king of gratuitous provocation.

"Tony, I am really surprised to see you. I was practically sure you wouldn't be around at all..." Loki added with as much venom he could muster. "There is nothing for you here anymore, after all..."

Tony put out his sunglasses. Loki thought that this was a particularly cliché gesture. Typical of Tony. The worst showoff, ever...

"Aww, come on, babe... Don't be so mean, I wanted so much to see you again... Look, can we talk without the presence of sweetness, here ?"

He gestured towards Thor. Loki had to grab Thor's back before he jumped at Tony's throat. Loki could almost see the foam at the corner of his lips.

"No, Tony. We can't. And his name is Thor..." Loki softly said. Then he added with more determination. "He is my boyfriend."

Thor forgot all about Tony to turn to Loki. He was amazed. It was the first time Loki qualified him as 'boyfriend' and the first time he said it almost publicly. At least to someone else. Tony, for him, looked a little taken by surprise. He didn't expect something like that, obviously.

"Or rather, Tony..." Loki took his coolest tone. "It's not that we can't. It is simply that we DON'T want to. There's people around and I do not wish to make a scene. Plus, Thor and I are late. So, if you'll excuse us..."

Loki firmly grabbed Thor's arms and turned around without any more fuss. He still heard Tony's shocked voice in his back. "Are you friggin' KIDDIN' me ?!"

Loki and Thor went away without looking back. Thor was silent but he was boiling internally and Loki could feel it. Because he was exactly the same, for different reasons...

Thor and Loki were in the Laufeysons' kitchen. Alone, again. They had arrived early and they were all away to their own business, as usual.

They had sat without a word. The tension was palpable. Loki had made two cups of coffee neither actually wanted to drink. They were already jumpy as it was. Thor couldn't bear it, he had to talk.

"That was him ?"

"Yes." Loki simply said.

Thor collected his thoughts. This was delicate and his temper was not going to help. He didn't want to start a fight but his angst was taking the best of him, sometimes.

"He calls you baby..."

Thor bit his tongue. That was the last thing to say.

"Yes, that was why I didn't like you calling him that... Until recently..."

Loki was doing his best not to sound passive aggressive or defensive... But he was internally shaking. Control was hard to find.

He didn't want to fight with Thor. He surprised himself by thinking that he didn't want to LOSE Thor. While Tony didn't mean as much.

Yet, Tony was back and Loki couldn't help but wanting to know why...

"Look, Thor, I don't care for him. I care for you and his coming here is no good news at all. I don't know what he wants with me..."

"Let me see him and pull it out of him..." Thor snarled.

"Thor, please ! Do not joke with things like that !"

Thor was about to retort and then renounced it. He was scared of many things, including having a fight with Loki that could separate them both and risk their current relationship.

And if he was estranged from Loki, the latter could go back to sunglasses-and-goatee douche...

Thor wished he had him under his thumb. He would make him pay for impairing his happiness...

Loki must have felt his anguish. He grabbed his lover's hand in his.

"Thor, please. It is over. Whatever he wants with me, I do not care. He is not to be between us. You are the only one for me..." Loki bent his head on Thor's hand, clasped in his. "Please, Thor..."

Thor, reassured a bit, kissed Loki's head.

Again, they spent the afternoon in bed. Not yet managing to avoid all their fears...

Thor had left for a while when Loki's mother told him someone was waiting for him in the living room. She had a conspirator smile that wasn't very subtle.

Loki was not even surprise seeing Tony.

They looked at each other. Tony definitely looked less arrogant. Seeing himself being replaced must have gave him a cruel blow.

"Well..." Loki conceded. "We are now for talk, aren't we ?"

"Yup... But if you really want me to, I'll leave, baby... Your call."

Loki made a grunt.

"Do not call me baby ever. It is Thor's right, not yours." He gestured to the sofa. "Sit and be quick. I do not wish to be overburdened by your presence more than necessary."

Tony sighed while sitting down.

"Look, you're mad at me and you have every right to be. I have been a real bastard..."

Loki made a raging grimace but kept his voice down.

"You have been worse than that. I should sue you for what you done to me. Even if I perfectly know I wouldn't stand a chance against you."

Tony sighed again. Loki remarked that he looked strained and less youthful.

"Yeah, yeah. You're right for the first at least. But I have realized how terrible I was... Pepper left me."

Loki perked an ear. This was some news. Clever girl ! She realized what she was marrying into just in time.

"She has surprised me with one of her pals. Some gal I wanted to leave even... And that same gal showed her photos of me with her and a boy toy of hers for revenge..."

Charming... Loki thought. He was happy to have escaped this cesspit.

"For god's sake !" Tony grunted. "I thought it was just fun ! As long as she didn't know she wouldn't be hurt. But she said I had better confess everything that I have done or she wouldn't take me back..."

Oh my, Loki thought. That must have been a scene.

"So I told her... And she left. It was too much for her... Hell, hearing this from my mouth, I even thought it was too much."

"And ?" Loki disdainfully said. "Where do I fit in all this ?"

Have you told her about what you did to me ? That was what he really wanted to know.

"Look." Said an embarrassed Tony. "I want to make a clean slate. Consider me a twelth-stepper. I am in the asking for forgiveness stage. And you are one of the people I wronged most. So..."

He inspired.

"Please, I am a piece of shit but I am truly sorry and I would want you to forgive me."

Loki looked at him with wonder. It was a little too easy.

"You will admit that you have raped me, then ?"

Tony looked astonished. "I haven't... !"

"You forced me into having sex with you, whether I wanted it or not, whether I was ready or not for this." Loki calmly said. "It is rape, Tony. And if you have a sparkle of dignity you will admit it to me. Then I will consider ourselves even and will not press charges against you. Even though I should."

Tony looked carefully at Loki's face. Then cast his eyes down.

"I have raped you." He softly said. "I am truly sorry. I am."

Loki heard no sign of sarcasm, no hint of hypocrisy. That was maybe Tony's most honest phrase to him.

"We are not to be together the way we used to be. Is that clear ?" Loki had said that and felt the familiar burning of unshed tears. "We are done. I am not sure we could remain friends before a little time have passed."

Tony sighed. Loki felt a strange dread that Tony had hoped to resume things where they had left them and be with Loki again.

"I get it. You've got your blond football star. You're in love again and happy. I am just in your way now... Too bad for me."

Loki felt he resigning himself a little too fast for his taste. Then he pondered his words. In love ? He thought. Am I really in love ?

They parted in good terms though. They agreed not to see each other for a while, just to let the steam blow and appease Thor's fears.

And then maybe, they would be friends again.

Loki was exhausted but relieved. He decided to dwell a little on the net to get some fresh air. He was free from all this sorrow and the feeling made him dizzy. Peace and tranquility at long last. And the continuation of happiness with Thor.

He opened his mail and consulted messages from his teachers and Thor.

Then he discovered one recently send anonymously.

He opened it.

He almost screamed. He had to cover his mouth with his hand.

It was a photograph of him and Thor having intercourse in his bedroom.