It is around seven o'clock when Aya walks through the Mercer household door. "I'm back." She crosses the living room to get to the kitchen. Angel leaves the couch where Bobby and Jeremy sit to follow her, ready to voice his suspicions.
"Where were you?" Angel asks. "Jack said you were at the game store. Kinda funny, 'cause when I looked, you wasn't answer near. All of us checked."
"Sounds hilarious," Aya says, swallowing. Panic stirs in Aya. Do they know? Did they recognize her earlier? No way. They couldn't have gotten a good look. There is no way in hell that they know about her secret. So she changes the subject. "Where's the old lady? Normally she's here by now and I blow her off but take what she says to heart. No one has ever been as good at acting as her."
"Which is really funny since she had to go to the liquor store. All of it's gone."
Aya laughs. They think it to be something else. "If you think I'm a drunk then you're wrong, Mercer." She turns to face him. "The day I become a drunk will be the day I get to see my momma again. I do illegal things, but not stupid things. Back off."
"Like you told Jack to this morning?" Aya cuts her gaze, getting too pieces of bread to make a sandwich. "He used to want to get you to know you, and now he doesn't want to talk about you. Gonna make me hate you too just because you don't want to be a part of this family?"
"You don't know shit, Angel!" Aya yells, surprising herself. "I do want to be part of a family, jackass! But every time that I seem to accept someone within my living area, they go away. Run away, juvie, rehab... death. So leave me alone." She brushes past him, leaving the unmade sandwich and going upstairs. She slams her door and grabs her pillow before screaming into it to muffle the sound.
Sitting on her bed, Aya pulls out a notebook with smiley faces on it. She opens the first page to see Eva, smiling and excited. She goes through the photos, remembering each person she had called a friend before circumstances changed. She doesn't hear the door creak open before someone sits on the bed behind her and she slams it shut.
"What?" she snaps, turning around to face him. She's surprised to see Jack. He reaches out and grasps the notebook in her hands. Aya hesitates before pulling it away and putting the book up and backing away from him. "What do you want? Last I heard you were pissed at me." Aya looks at him, unsure of whether she should have what she said or not. She doesn't think before she talks, and she is painfully aware of that fact.
"I am, more or less," Jack admits after a moment. Aya notices that his blue eyes won't quite meet hers, and she feels terrible about it.
"Well stay pissed off at me," Aya says, looking out the window.
"I don't get it." Jack says, reaching to where she put the notebook. He doesn't open it, but holds it in his hand. "The other day, you seemed so... I don't know. But it was that little girl who brought the best out of you. You helped save my ass from getting beat and took the hits yourself. I know you still have a few bruises. But when I tried to help you this morning... You told me to go away. You give help but don't accept it. Why?"
"I'm a solo girl. I accept help only when it completely and fully benefits me," Aya says, staring at the notebook. "I don't entirely know why I told you to back off either... I guess I didn't want you to take a hit for me. I didn't want you to start caring. I didn't want you to get mad and get suspended or expelled. I kind of went through those options but couldn't quite figure it out. Maybe I just started caring. So, how was your day?"
Jack nods. "Where were you really? I checked every place you tell me that you go, but you weren't at any of them." Aya wants to tell him the truth. She's been wanting to tell the old lady the truth, Bobby too. But she hasn't wanted to tell Jack the truth until now. She sighs, blowing out a breath. "Aya? Where were you?"
"Places," she answers vaguely. "Tellin' could get people killed."
"I've noticed that when you're hiding something that you get a tired voice. That something happens to always be the same thing." Aya snaps up at Jack. "We're Mercers Aya. It's perfectly fine to tell us anything."
"I've been told before. Look through that book." She waits for him to open it. "First page is Eva, the little girl. I fed her when she was a baby. I can't tell the truth when I say I don't care for her. She is a very bright light to me. When she was young, she almost got shot. I realized then that I was a target as long as I walked the streets with short black hair and a gun in my pocket that held no bullets.
"Second page is a boy. In that picture, he's fifteen. Brown hair and brown eyes. First foster home. He made me believe in God for a while. When he decided to OD, I quit believing again. Third page is a girl around five years old in that picture. First foster home too. She had asthma and other conditions... But she loved horses. Loved them so much. I got her a little glass one for Christmas that year. The bastard taking care of us thought she stole it. Locked her in a room alone. She had an unnatural fear of the dark... We opened the door an hour later and she was gone."
"What does this have to do with your secret?" Jack asks.
"Skip forward to page... nineteen. Boy, fourteen, with messy blonde hair and bright green eyes. He and I dated for a while. I told him about the thing you want to know so desperately. He was walking home from school. I wasn't far ahead of him. We were racing... Drive by shooting. I got the note they left in my room though. 'Don't be a snitch you stupid bitch' it said. It's on the next page."
Jack stares for a moment. He puts the book down before staring at her. "How many of these people are dead?"
"Five. Six possibly. The rest are mostly in juvie or high somewhere," Aya answers. She smiles sadly. "Life isn't sunshine, Jack. You have a good life here, but I don't want to ruin it. If I told you what I do every time I disappear, I'd be afraid to come home. Well, more than afraid. I'm already that. I'd be terrified."
Jack stays there for a little while. He just looks at her, and Aya feels self conscious as he does so. Finally he looks away and stands up. "If you ever need anything, I'm here." Aya nods her head.
"Thanks, Jack," she whispers. "Tell Angel I'm sorry, 'kay? I don't think I should be around people right now. Evelyn should be back soon and finish dinner. Eat a piece of dessert for me."
Jack looks at her and then looks away before saying, "Thanks for sharing your life with me. I'll be back, so don't do anything stupid."
"Does homework count?"
True to his word, Jack does come back. He knocks on the door softly before opening it. He half expects for Aya not to be there. "Aya?" She has her book lying next to her, but her eyes are closed. Jack sighs. He walks over to her bed to find that she already showered and her math homework lying on the floor, complete and ready to e turned in.
Finding no reason to wake her up, Jack grabs a blanket from next to her bed and covers her with it. Aya stirs and opens her eyes. "It's Jack, Aya. Go back to sleep."
Aya nods, closing her eyes. "Promise me something, Jack?"
"What is that?"
"Don't be like those people in my book. Be like Eva. Someone I can fear for but know that I won't let them go away from my life."
Jack smiles, brushing a few tendrils of hair from her face. "I promise." Aya smiles at him, sinking further into her pillow. "I'll always stay for you, Aya." Aya grabs his hand where it is on the bed and holds it. Jack notices then that she holds something tight to her. It's in relatively good condition, he notes, and hears her breathing even out.
Bobby knocks softly. "Ma wants to see Aya." His brows scrunch in confusion. "You two kiss and make up?"
"Something like that. Tell mom that she's asleep. She wasn't hungry earlier, so we'll make her eat in the morning," Jack says, not looking at Bobby. Jeremy joins behind the oldest and looks in. Angel is last as they see their baby brother with a sleeping girl who can't quite open up without getting angry.
"Be careful, Jackie," Jeremy warns. "She isn't someone to fall for."
Jack brushes him off with a laugh. The boys shrug and leave, all except for Jack, who sits against the headboard and tries to release himself from her tight, child like grip. In the end, he gives up and lays down next to her on top of the blanket and closes his eyes. He hopes Aya doesn't hit him for it in the morning.