A/N - Okay, I have survived the first week of being a freshman. Guess what? Thanks to my mom, I'm missing the first game of the football season, which is tonight, and there's even a tailgating party with food. Ugh. You know, I wouldn't wanna go anyways. Not my thing. Maybe next year? I'm so sorry Caroline! I forgot to put you in the dance, OMG!! Tell me if you want me to edit that chapter, cuz I will. Or if you don't say anything at all..

"Okay, what do we do with Shane?" Nate asks, breaking the five minute silence.

"I've never seen him so pissed," Jason says.

"Well, that really scared me," Nicole admits. I was still lying there, just listening, not talking. My mind was numb right now.

"Jenny, what do you think about all of this?" Jason asks me.

"Seriously, guns? And those broken beer bottles. I feel like reading The Outsiders now," is all I can say.

"Hmm, good book," Nicole agrees with me.

"Shouldn't somebody check on Shane?" Nate asks.

"Yeah! And that somebody should be.." Jason starts as he drums on his leg, "JENNY!"

"Why me? Can't I just rest here in peace?" I start complaining.

"Dude, you haven't died yet," Nicole points out.

"I meant sleeping! You know, people have attempted to kill me too may times this week," I say before grabbing a couch pillow and putting it over my face.

I felt the pillow coming out of my grasp and see that Nate was the one who did it. He grabs my hand and drags me to the stairs.

"Go and talk to Shane," he says before trying to nudge me up the first step.

"Ugh, I don't wanna! He's obviously in an uber pissed mood right now," I try persuading him to let me go.

"Which is why you would seriously need to talk to him," he reasons.

"Okay, how about I go and murder Angela?" I suggest.

"Even though we all support the idea, you need to keep up your goody two-shoes image," he says.

"What goody two-shoes image are you talking about? I'm one of the biggest 'sluts' now!" I sarcastically bite.

"Girl, just go up there," Nicole says to me in a serious voice.

"Yeah, whatever. Fine," I reply before walking up the winding staircase.

"Oh, you listen to her and not me!" Nate exclaims. I can hear Jason laughing.

"Friends are forever, boys are whatever," I say in my fake girly voice before running the rest of the way up.

Instead of going into Shane's room right away, I go to Nate's room and change into some of his comfy clothes. Have I mentioned that I don't like skinny jeans? The flared ones suit me much more. I'm now wearing a Green Oak football t-shirt and some of Nate's workout shorts. I still don't see the point of talking to Shane. Aren't you supposed to let people cool down before trying to make them feel better?

The rules for when a person gets extremely pissed/angry is simple. First, you've gotta let them talk to themselves and go crazy for about a day. When they seem emotionally stable enough, you start talking about it, what went wrong, you know, become a friendlier shrink. Then they break down in tears or more anger, and within the next day or so, they'll be fine. It's a pretty repetitive system. Well, I think so.

"Stupid sluts and their guns," I mutter to myself once I arrive at Shane's door. What would you say to a guy that just physically abused a girl? Okay, Angela deserved it, but the tension when it happened. I've come to relate with the term "you could cut it with a knife." I'm about to knock when I hear something come from the other side.

I quietly press my ear to his door to try to hear the sounds better. Wait, is that a guitar? I can't exactly hear the tune, but I can also tell that he's singing something. If it was possible, I press myself closer into his door, hoping to catch some more of the guitar and his voice. Wait, why did it stop all of sudden? The door leaves my hands as I fall forward onto the floor.

"Shit!" I yell after I fall down. Is pain obsessed with me? I finally look up to see a very angry Shane Grey.

"Great, now you're spying on me," he states.

"Whoa, hold up. I'm not spying, I was forced to come," I say.

"Well, can you leave then?" he asks, his hand pointing towards the open door.

"Can't we just talk about tonight?" I ask him, skipping the first step for when dealing with a very pissed off person.

"What's there to talk about?" he asks, looking anywhere but me. I'm still sitting here on the ground. A hand would kind of help!

"You know, there's some things to discuss after some vengeful girls crash your party," I point out.

"Those girls only want revenge on you, not me," he arrogantly says.

"Okay, do you want me to list the things they've tried doing? They've tried pouring blue paint on me, they've put a snake in my locker, they've burned down that locker, they paid guys to drop me twenty-five feet, and they just came here with weapons. I think it's obvious who their target was," I point out.

"What are you trying to say?" he asks.

"My wishes for a normal life are gone. Flown out the window. Sometimes, I don't think it's worth our friendship," I admit.

"Jenny, do you know why I did that to Angela?" he asks me.

"No, I don't. She's a bitch, but that slap was harsh," I say.

He walks over to his bed and sits down on it. I follow him and do the same thing.

"It all started in eighth grade," he starts. "Back then, I was still the football star, captain of our Unlimited team. I was just thirteen, but I'd easily like girls, and I'd ask them out. It was also the grade that I lost my virginity to Angela.

"We kind of went out secretly until I was a sophomore. At some point, I actually felt like I really truly liked her. Then one night, after a couple weeks of acting strange, Jason broke down and confessed something. Angela had drugged up both of them with LSD and they had sex. She also took his virginity.

"I know it wasn't Jason's fault, it was Angela's. She was the one that drugged them up. I guess the heartbreak from her cheating on me caused me into my endless spiral of sleeping with girls. After awhile, she became one of the girls I'd frequently sleep with, but I didn't care. Every girl felt the same. Every girl felt empty, emotionally.

"And you know, I'm so jealous of you. Your mom actually cooks for you and everything, and your parents are always home. My parents have had their careers before me or my brothers were born. Of course, after a couple years of my mom taking a break, she got back to work. Dad's never home either. He goes around the country now since he's a music producer.

"It might look cool being rich and popular, but it really isn't. All I want is a good family, with the parents home. I just want to sit down every week and have dinner with my parents. I'd kill to hear the words, 'So, how was school today?' come from either of them. I hate what I've made myself become, what a manwhore I've become.

"She ruined my life, took all innocence Jason and I had left. She had the audacity to say those three words to me, the words that hurt me the most. She made me who I am today, and I'm not proud of it. And she goes around being a hypocrite, when she deserves everything she's getting. She destroyed me."

He finishes his speech and starts softly crying. All of that information is overwhelming, and it explains why he's the way he is today. There's nothing to do but sit here and listen to him, and to do my best to make him feel better. For the next hour, my arm is around Shane's shoulder, and he's crying into mine.

XoLAGOHxO

Jason had to drive me home tonight since Shane was obviously incapable of doing it. You should've seen Nicole's face when I walked down the stairs. Obviously, I changed my clothes, but the shirt was soaked on my shoulder, and I looked like a mess. I guess I was up there for quite some time.

"Nicole, I didn't have sex with him," I tell her.

"But.. Why do you look like that?" she asks.

"Let's just go home, I'll tell you tomorrow," I say, dragging Jason to his car.

I look like a mess right now because inside, I am one. Nate was jealous of Shane, and Shane's had such a rough life. Angela's caused him so much pain that it was only time that she got what she deserved. I'm not sure if I can tell Nicole that Jason lost his virginity to that whore. But maybe he already told her, or maybe not. I just hope that it all works out in the end.

Once Nicole gives Jason a good-bye kiss and walks into her house, Jason starts the short drive to mine.

"Jenny, what happened?" he asks. I can see his concerned face thanks to the mirror.

"It's private," I reply before thanking him for the ride and walking inside my house.

I'm extremely early coming home, and I tell my mom that I'm just tired from tonight. For once, I get an early sleep. The thing is, that night, my dreams were filled with nightmares. Nightmares that made me wake up at three in the morning crying my eyes out. They all had the same plot to them. They all had me committing suicide.

XoLAGOHxO

I'm very shaken for school this morning. The entire weekend, I was pretty much on lockdown. I needed time alone, to be by myself. I think those dreams were a warning of something. I've never had so many dreams in one night of me taking my own life. I had seen Shane in such a vulnerable state, but we're friends. Friends always help one another. When they're confessing to you something, you don't judge, you just listen.

I made it a point today of getting up extra early to walk to school. I hope that the walk will calm my nerves. It takes me about forty five minutes to walk to Green Oak HS. Even though I walked here, I'm still early. I'm not sure if I can handle talking to Shane this morning. I need a little more time. What if he drove to my house and waited or something? No, now I feel really guilty!

I'm sitting in the front right now since the school doesn't let kids in for another five minutes. That's when I see Jason's car speeding up to me before screeching to a halt. Jason runs out the door, and I can see Nicole in the car, too. His shirt has some blood on it. Oh man, this can't be good. This really cannot be good.

"Jenny, we found Shane in his room this morning covered in blood!" Jason screams, pain evident in his voice.

"What? No, what happened?!" I ask him, terrified of what the answer may be. I quickly jump into the car.

"He's at the hospital right now, and Nate's with him," Jason says before jumping into the driver's seat. Nicole's eyes were red and puffy. It wasn't like her to cry, she never cries. I mean, rarely.

"What's wrong?" I ask Jason, feeling my own tears pouring down. He starts heading for the hospital.

"I.. he needs to tell you," is all he answers. I fall back in my seat, worry overcoming my senses.

XoLAGOHxO

I'm sitting in the waiting room with Jason, Nate and Nicole. None of them are telling me what's up with Shane, or why he was in the hospital. A doctor comes out and tells us that we can go visit him. They urge me to go first, and I hesitantly do. I get to his room, and I feel like I'm about to cry again when I see him laying there, looking so weak. His wrists were bandaged up, and he had an IV needle in his arm.

I grab a stool and sit down next to him. I'm so scared to touch him. He turns to me and tries to touch my hand, but it doesn't seem like he has enough energy to do so. I put my hand lightly over his, scared that I'd be hurting him. I don't want to hurt him, I never ever want to do that.

"Hey," he says with a forced smile.

"Hey," I reply back, trying my best to get rid of the tears forming behind my eyes.

"I'm sorry," he apologizes, looking at my eyes.

"Shane, don't be sorry. Please, just don't," I beg him. It hurt me so much to see him like this.

"I'm sorry.. For trying to leave you," he whispers to me.

"Shane, how were you leaving me?" I'm really worried now.

"I tried to commit suicide," he says, looking away from me. "I drank myself into oblivion last night, then tried to slash my wrists."

I couldn't take it anymore, I start crying. He must be really hurt if he was willing to leave everyone. Leave this earth. He looks back at me, and starts talking again in that weak voice.

"Please, Jenny, don't cry for me."

"No, I have to make you accept your life. I have to be a true friend and help you through this," I sob. The tears were falling faster.

"It's not your fault," he tries reassuring me. "I was just so sick of my life. I.. I couldn't take it anymore."

"I'll make your life better, I promise. I'll do anything."

"Just be there for me," is all he says.

"I promise to be there for you, Shane," I promise.

"I love you," he whispers before getting knocked out by the pain killers.

'I love you.' I'm not sure if he meant sisterly love, or something more.

"I love you, too," I say to him, knowing that he couldn't hear it.

I just stayed there, sitting next to him. Just being there. I only left when the doctors said that I had to leave. I don't know how long I was there, but I knew one thing for sure;

It's him. I'm pretty sure that he's the one. And I won't regret making that decision, regardless of Nate, because Shane needed me more.

A/N - Okay, the Nate lovers, I sincerely apologize!! I nearly cried during the two hours that I spent writing this. I kept writing it over and over and over.. Suicide's a very sensitive subject to me. I know I didn't portray the plans that well, but it's the best that I can do right now.