AN: I really found my muse because this chapter came very naturally. I hope I gave you a good insight into Chase's thoughts
because that it what this chapter is about.
Anyway...
Enjoy!

Chapter 16

The first hours that Chase had been awake were the most tiring hours of his life. Everybody wanted to visit him and everybody wanted to see how he was doing. Sometimes, he even felt like a monkey in the zoo.

But he didn't mind. He was just happy to be here. The pain in his chest wasn't too bad and the pain medication worked fine. He couldn't laugh yet as pain then invaded his wound and he sometimes needed extra oxygen. But he was awake and he was bright in his mind.

It was almost 10 in the morning and 3 days had passed since he had woken up. Things were slowing down in his life and he didn't have the feeling that he was on a rollercoaster anymore. It had been the worst ride of his life and he just wanted to forget all about it.

'Good morning.' Cameron greeted him as she entered the room. She had a big cup of coffee in her hand and Chase couldn't wait to taste that warm substance again. The doctor didn't like the idea of Chase drinking caffeine but he was fine and he needed coffee.

'You brought it!' he said.

Cameron smiled and walked over to him to give him the cup.

'Be careful,' she warned, 'it's hot.'

Chase took of the lid and just smelled the bitter taste. He didn't believe that it had been more than a week since he drank this. It was odd that it were the small things he missed in life. Coffee…A book…just talking to friends…stuff like that. After what he has been through, he had promised himself to enjoy more of his life.

'How are you feeling?' Cameron asked as she sat down on the bed with Chase.

'Good,' Chase said, 'my chest still hurts but it's better. I'm good.'

'Great.'

'Don't you have to be with House?' Chase asked as he remembered Foreman telling him about a new cause they had since yesterday.

'The patient probably just has lupus.' Cameron said as she waved her hair behind her shoulder.

Chase laughed and quickly stopped as the pain in his chest became heavier.

'It's never lupus.' He said as he rubbed his hand over the wound.

'Yeah,' Cameron said, 'but it's nothing House and Foreman can't handle on their own for the next few minutes.'

'Have you seen Lauren?' Chase then asked before taking a sip of his coffee, carefully not to burn his lips.

'No,' Cameron said, 'but she's going home today. She's being released as we speak.'

Chase felt an odd emotion that he couldn't place. He felt disappointed in her. He had expected her to visit him again. She had been here once since he had waken up and Chase didn't liked it that she hadn't visited since. And now she was just leaving?

'I should go.' Cameron said as she stood up from the bed, 'someone had to rationalise in that room with House.'

'Yeah,' Chase said, his thoughts not really with Cameron anymore, 'I'll see you soon.'

Cameron left and Chase decided that he'd better take advantage of this situation. He was alone and nobody could stop him.

He carefully threw his legs over the edge of the bed and stood up. He wobbled a little as he tried to find his balance. It had been days since he had walked more than 5 steps. He put on his bathrobe and walked, slowly as he couldn't go fast, out of the room. He only had to go down one floor, but he knew he didn't like small rooms anymore. But the stairs would cost him too much energy.

He took in a deep breath as he pushed the button of the elevator. The doors immediately opened and Chase felt relieve as nobody was in there.

As soon as the doors closed again and Chase saw how small the elevator really was, he closed his eyes and counted till 10.

10. I'm in a meadow. 9. The sun is shining. 8. I have all the space in the world. 7. God, it's hot in here. 6. Don't think about stuff like that! 5. There is grass under my feet. 4. I can breathe in fresh air.

And the doors already opened. Chase quickly walked out and as soon as he saw the space surrounding him, he felt good again. His heart rate slowed down and he could breathe easier. He felt proud of himself that he had survived it.

He looked around and found the person he needed.

'Lauren!' he yelled as he saw her at the nurses' desk, checking out.

Lauren turned around and looked surprised as she saw Chase walking to her. His steps weren't steady and Chase felt tired. His wound had its own heartbeat and it hurt like hell, but he ignored it.

'Robert!' she yelled as she saw how pale Chase looked. She ran to him and looked at him as an angry mother looking at her son who had just stolen a candy bar before diner.

'You shouldn't be out of bed. I bet Cameron doesn't know you're here.'

'Of course she doesn't know, she's not my boss.'

A smile appeared on Lauren's face.

'You were just going to leave?' Chase asked then.

'Robert…'

'A goodbye would have been nice.'

'Why make things so difficult?' she asked as she threw her gaze to the floor. Chase laid his hand on her cheek and made her look up at him. He smiled at her as he saw the beauty of her eyes.

'I just wanted to say it was very nice meeting you.'

'I bet.' Lauren scoffed.

'What are you talking about?' Chase asked as he didn't understand Lauren sudden expression on her face.

'I you hadn't met me…you would never be in this pain.'

'And you were going to leave with those thoughts in your silly head?'

Lauren tried to smile but it wasn't really convincing. Chase bowed his head and touched her lips with his. Lauren was hesitant at first, but then didn't resist anymore. Chase kissed her with passion and he hoped she would now understand his feelings for her. Chase then pulled away and looked Lauren straight in the eyes.

'Do you still think that I regret meeting you?'

Lauren now smiled with all the certainty in the world and even her eyes seemed brighter.

'It was nice meeting you,' she said, 'but I really have to go and it's for the best if you just let me go. Don't feel sorry that I'm leaving.'

'But I like you.'

'I'm not ready to do stuff like this.' She nearly whispered. She leaned forward again and gave Chase a kiss on his cheek. She then smiled at him and said: 'Goodbye.'

Lauren turned around and walked away from Chase. Jack, her ex-husband, was waiting for her and together they walked out of the hospital. Before the doors closed, Lauren looked back to Chase and smiled again. And then she was gone.

Chase stood in the hall, all alone, and he couldn't believe that he had just said goodbye to this amazing woman. But he didn't have the urge to run after her. Besides, he wouldn't even be able to.

Slowly, as his wound was still hurting more than ever, he turned around to see Wilson watching him. He walked to him as he was sure then that Wilson wouldn't leave him again until he was safe in his bed back up in his room.

'So, that was Lauren?' Wilson asked as they strolled to the elevator.

'Yeah.' Chase sighed as he remembered their kiss. It had been a good kiss.

'I really thought you two were…a good match.' Wilson said.

'Yeah, but she's not ready yet.'

Wilson looked at Chase with big eyes.

'I wouldn't mind of you were lying to me,' he said as he placed his arm under Chase's shoulder to give him more support as he was going slower and slower. 'but don't lie to yourself.'

'What are you talking about?' Chase asked confused.

'She's not ready,' Wilson explained, 'but neither are you.'

Chase thought about that and it hit him hard when he realised that Wilson was right. He had kissed her but when she left, he hadn't wanted to pursue her. He wasn't ready for any kind of those relationships. He wondered when he would be…Would he still think about her? Would she be still thinking about him?

They arrived at the elevator and Chase started counting till 10 again. Wilson brought him back to his room were an angry Cameron was waiting for him.

'What were you thinking?' Cameron nearly yelled.

Wilson helped Chase back into his bed.

'I'm fine, by the way, thank you for asking.' Chase said as he rolled his eyes.

'Let me see your wound.' Cameron ordered.

'It's fine.' Chase said while he still lifted his shirt. The stitched were all still in place and that seemed to calm Cameron down a little. Wilson held back a smile as he watched her being all upset about Chase being out of bed.

'You could have ripped your stitches.' She said in a firm voice.

'But I didn't, I was very careful.'

'Yeah, I saw that.' Wilson now laughed, thinking about Chase kissing Lauren.

'This is not funny!' Cameron said as she threw an irritated look at Wilson.

'It is a little.' Wilson responded.

Cameron took in a deep breath and decided to ignore Wilson from now on.

Chase smiled as he watched his two friends and he realised that relationships didn't have to be difficult. They were meant to grow and even though he wasn't ready yet for a relationship with Lauren, one day he would and then it would be able to grow too. He didn't have to rush things and Lauren didn't have to rush things either. He understood things now and he knew that Parker had changed his life for good, but he was never going to think about that again. Not ever. Maybe it wasn't the best way to deal with this, but it was the easiest way. Yes, he wouldn't even spend a thought about it…He was just going to ignore this and pretend it never happened.

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