November 3rd 2008 – One Year Later
It was the middle of the night; Spencer was laying in bed, but he wasn't sleeping. He had known that today would be hard and when he had gone to bed he had been proven right. Nightmares plagued him, and so he just laid awake waiting and wondering if he should just get up and go get some coffee. He had already been up for an hour and a half, and didn't think he would be able to return to sleep.
He looked at the alarm clock on the night table, 1:30am. He sighed, and after a couple moments he started worrying. He sat up slowly, trying his best not to wake up JJ who was sleeping peacefully beside him. He left the room and went into the one that used to be his study. It had been his quiet room, in his quiet little apartment that hadn't been so quiet during the last year.
Spencer didn't need to turn a light on because there was already a nightlight that was shining purple stars onto the ceiling, right above a crib in the center of the room. He smiled and walked over to it, looking inside.
'Oh thank God, you are breathing,' he thought as he saw the sleeping face of his newborn son.
He had read about all the statistics, and he knew that most babies that died from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome died between one month and one year of age. Most of these babies died before six months old. More boys died from SIDS than girls, and while he knew the likelihood was low, whenever his son went too long without crying he found himself like this. Leaning over his crib to insure he was alive, and of course he always was. He had found himself to be an anxious parent, which the team had already started teasing him for.
It had been like this for the last four days since JJ got home from the hospital. Their son was born six days ago on October 28th, and she had insisted on naming the boy Henry. The name was of Old German origin, Spencer had found out and it meant 'Home Leader.'
"Alright, fine but I get to chose the next one," had been his reply.
She had beamed, as they hadn't spoken of having more, but was happy at the possibility.
JJ had discovered that she was pregnant six months after they officially got together that day at the hospital. She had been fifteen weeks pregnant when she had told Spencer and the team, having kept it to herself for a couple weeks. She had worried about telling Spencer, because she knew about his fear of passing down his mother's condition, as well as worrying about whether or not he'd be a good father. And he had been afraid, but also extraordinarily happy. He had written to his mother immediately to tell her and after a couple months, had even written to his father.
They hadn't meant to get pregnant, but they supposed they should have known that it would happen. After all, they weren't being necessarily smart about it. They had moved in together just short of three months after the attacks. They had told the team it was to help him recover, but he had already returned to work and was almost well enough to be put back into the field.
The team hadn't bought it and Derek had ruffled Spencer's brown hair, teasing him about wanting to get some lovin'. They had been happy for them, especially when they found out about the baby.
Spencer had dyed his hair back to its original color, and had decided to do so with Derek's helpful teasing. It had been on the way home from the hospital, and Derek had been the one driving him.
"I don't know how I feel about the black hair on you pretty boy," He had started, with a teasing smile.
"You don't like it?" Spencer had asked with an offended tone, starting their playful banter.
"I just don't think I'll be able to get used to it. It's weird, makes me uncomfortable."
"I don't think I'll be able to get used to it either, let's stop and buy some hair dye. After all, I wouldn't want you to feel uncomfortable when I return to work in a couple weeks."
Derek smiled at this, happy that his friend was determined to return so quickly.
"I think I like the hair cut though. It looks like you joined a boy band."
Spencer had groaned at this comment, "if that's the case, I'll grow it back out."
He smiled at the memories, those were the tiny things that had kept him going, as well as clean.
It was at this time that the tiny boy moved, only slightly in the baby sleeper that he was wearing. Opening his eyes, he started to cry until he focused on Spencer's face. He blinked at his father, looking at him as if wondering why he was watching him sleep and when he would pick him up.
Spencer smiled before lifting his son out of the crib, "don't worry Henry, you don't have to cry."
He walked out of the room and over to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle that JJ had already prepared from the fridge and putting it in the microwave to heat it up. He cooed at Henry as he held him in his arms, rocking him and then laying on the couch to give him the bottle...
"One day he's going to roll right off you," Spencer jumped slightly, waking up and eventually focusing on JJ who was standing over them smiling.
He had fallen asleep with Henry on the couch, and it was now 7 o' clock. JJ sat down on the edge of the couch and leaned over to kiss Spencer. He returned the kiss, until they heard a noise from between them. Their son had woken up too, and she took him from Spencer with a smile, while he went to get ready for work.
It was Monday, and the team had thankfully had the weekend off. Hotch had given Spencer most of last week off too after Henry was born. Spencer thought that Hotch had done this as a way to make up for the fact that he had missed Henry's birth. They had been in Las Vegas working on a child abduction case, and JJ had gone into labor three weeks early.
"Are you sure that you even want to go to work today?" JJ asked, "Hotch said he'd understand if you-"
"I have to JJ," Spencer replied, as he grabbed his bag from the kitchen counter, "life doesn't just stop because of what day it is."
She walked him to the door and kissed him, still holding their son in her arms.
"Are you sure you'll be okay?" He asked.
She looked down at Henry, "yes, I'll be fine. I have him to take care of me today."
Spencer smiled, and gave them both another kiss before leaving. He hated leaving them, and he hated not having JJ at work with him. He had already started counting down the days until her maternity leave ended.
'Fourteen weeks,' he thought as he listened to Jordan asking Rossi about a case.
It wasn't that Spencer didn't like Jordan. It was just that he missed JJ, just like the rest of the team. The only one that seemed especially fond of Jordan was Derek, much to Emily's dismay.
JJ hadn't wanted to take maternity leave, but she knew that she had to for Henry. If only for a few months, until she was allowed to return to work. Hotch had told her she could get extra time, but she had insisted that wasn't what she wanted. She wasn't the type of woman that could stay at home, even though they had enough money with Spencer's income to do so. Everyone knew that she would return to work, and none of them could wait. Penelope and Emily missed her more than anyone.
That day had been simple enough, with only paperwork to worry about and no emergency case to run off to. This made Spencer incredibly happy, because he truly just wanted to return home. He had found that he loved being a father, and even loved the unofficial role of a husband that he had filled with JJ.
He had already finished his paperwork and leaned in his chair, smiling as he thought;
They had been together officially for almost a year, and in that year they had moved in together and had a child. He knew that the way they had done things hadn't been exactly "standard" or "traditional." His own parents for example, while they had separated (never officially gotten divorced) they had gotten married before having him. Diana had been twenty one years old and William had been a year older when Spencer had been born. They had been together for four years, married for only two. They had been young, but they had been in love and had done things "by the book."
JJ and Spencer were older, and had known each other for five years before they got together. Neither of them were necessarily religious or worried about convention. They were just happy to be together.
He reached into his pant pocket and held onto the small box that had been there all day. As if just ensuring that it was still there, before letting it go and leaning his arms on the desk. Derek seemed to realize that Spencer was deep in thought because he rolled his chair over in a childish sort of way and put his arms over his shoulders.
"How are you doing pretty boy?"
"Really well actually," Spencer replied with a smile.
"You look exhausted," Derek laughed, "it hasn't even officially been a week man."
"I had nightmares last night too," he admitted, "Henry only wakes up twice a night, typically."
This got him a sympathetic look from his friend, "nightmares are always hard, but normal during these times."
"At least the baby is letting you sleep," Emily added, as she had been listening.
"Yeah, but he scares me sometimes. Everyone says newborns wake up millions of times so, when he doesn't I get worried that he has just stopped breathing," Spencer told them.
"Why would he stop breathing?" She asked, giving him an incredulous look.
"Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, also known as Crib death. It's the leading cause of death among bab-"
"He found out about that while he was researching 'how to raise a child'," Derek cut in, "as if you can just learn that from reading a couple articles."
"It's the only that I kn-" Spencer started, before noticing Hotch coming down the stairs from his office.
He noticed the worried looks on their faces and gave a rare smile, "no case, I was just coming to tell you all to head home early."
Emily and Derek got up happily and started packing up. Spencer started putting his paperwork into his book bag, while Hotch stood near his desk waiting for the other two to say their goodbyes and leave the bullpen.
"Did you get it?" He asked once they were gone.
Spencer smiled, "yes, but I'm not showing anyone until it's on her."
Suddenly he was filled with insecurity, "Hotch, what if she says no? What if she never wanted to get-"
"She loves you Reid, I don't know how she feels about marriage, but I know that she loves you."
"What if it's too soon? Everything has been moving so fast this year. After Michael, getting together and moving in together just felt right. We wanted to make up for all the time we spent dancing around our feelings. All we wanted was each other. When Henry came along, it wasn't exactly planned but-"
"But it was amazing" Hotch finished for him, "and scary. You wondered how you'd make it work and if you'd be a good father. I remember when Haley found out that she was pregnant with Jack, we didn't exactly plan it either. With this job, you usually don't. I was happy, but it also scared me to death."
Spencer looked up at him, almost surprised that he seemed to be opening up. He supposed that he shouldn't have been since Hotch had opened up to him before, like when he had told him about Haley serving him with divorce papers. That had been almost a year ago, but Hotch had held onto the divorce papers for four months before officially signing them. She had already left him at that point, a month before Spencer and JJ got attacked. It had crushed him, but the team had been there. While Hotch was their boss, they were also family. He had always lead them, and he was trying to lead Spencer now.
"I worried about all the things I knew about child abductions and serial killers and how dangerous this job is. Not just because I was worried about getting killed on the job, but also because I worried about them ever getting hurt. I worried about if I'd be a good father, and if I could be a father with how mu-"
He stopped talking, and Spencer understood. It was still hard for him, to accept that Haley had taken Jack and left him. He was in as much pain as Spencer's mother had been when his father had left them.
"Reid, Haley and I were married for nearly ten years. Jack just turned three years old, and not a single day goes by that I don't miss them both. I was committed to my job and she knew this. She always said that was one of the things she loved most about me, but I made a terrible mistake. Don't do the same."
He nodded before standing up, putting his book bag across his shoulder.
"I understand Hotch, I know what you're trying to say and I'll try my best. I don't want to lose her, and I don't want to be like him."
He knew who Spencer was talking about and put his hand on his shoulder, "you won't be like your father Reid, you're better than that. You're better than both of us."
He gave him another rare smile before patting him on the back and leading him out of the bull pen, towards the elevator.
"Go home, and let me and Rossi know what she says."
"Rossi knows?"
"Of course, he knows! It has been written all over your face, remember that Rossi has experience too."
Spencer laughed, "yeah, I suppose he does. Three wives later and he thinks he's an expert."
"I've never said I'm an expert Spencer," Rossi had joined them in the elevator, smiling, "God knows that I've made mistakes in all of my marriages. Most of those mistakes were related to this job, but I've learned enough to teach you both. Don't put this job first, Henry and JJ come first. Remember that, and tomorrow night, celebration at my house!"
"I have to ask her first Rossi! And she has to say yes."
He thought about this and replied with another smile, "well if she says no you can come over for wine and drown your sorrows with us lowly 'bachelors.'"
Spencer rolled his eyes exaggeratedly and laughed. When they stepped out of the elevator the older men wished him luck and went their own way together. While Spencer headed home to JJ, and his son.
He was anxious, but excited. He wondered if he should get flowers, or just keep it simple and bring home dinner. He was thinking Chinese food because it was one of their favorites. The team always went out for Chinese food during cases.
After picking up the food he drove home, opting to not pick up flowers since he didn't want to seem too cliché.
When Spencer walked in the door at 6 o' clock, it was quiet. JJ appeared at the door way and put her finger to her lips. He walked in slowly and put everything down on the counter. She had disappeared to the nursery, before she came back smiling and put her arms around him.
"I fell asleep with him on the couch," she said, "I just wanted to put him in his crib so we don't wake him."
"One day he's going to roll right off you," he mimicked her from earlier, before giving her a light kiss.
When he pulled away, she noticed the takeout, "what's with the special dinner?" She asked.
"Just felt like doing something for you, because I love you."
JJ smiled and brought the food over to the living room while he grabbed the plates.
She told him about her day while they ate and how Henry didn't fall back to sleep for an hour after he left.
"Apparently he's having separation anxiety."
"Separation anxiety doesn't usually start until eight to twelve months of age," Spencer said.
"Tell that to your son."
"It usually peaks between one to two years of age, thankfully you'll be with me at that time. So, the babysitter will have fun."
"You miss me already?" JJ smiled widely, as she rummaged around on the coffee table for their fortune cookies.
"Yes, I'm already counting the weeks until you come back," Spencer handed her the fortune cookies that he had in his pocket.
"What were they doing there?" She asked.
"I asked them for a special fortune cookie for you," he answered nervously, handing her one.
"Really?" She smiled at him, and then broke hers open.
JJ gasped and looked up at Spencer with wide eyes. He had been sitting there, holding his breath, while she took the silver ring out of broken fortune cookie.
She smiled at him, "what's this?"
He took it from her and got off the couch, onto one knee.
"JJ, I know we've only been dating for a year and everything has been going really fast, but we've been through Hell together, in and outside of the job. You have always been there for me, and I've loved you for years. I want to ask because I love you and I will for the rest of my life, will you marry me?"
"Yes!" She smiled, and her eyes were watery as he put the ring on her finger.
She pulled him back up onto the couch and threw her arms around him, kissing him hard. His brain was reeling as he had been so anxious that she would say no. He hadn't expected her to say yes, but he was thrilled and kissed her back with just as much vigor.
They laid on the couch together, with her laying on his chest admiring her ring and him just smiling and thinking about everything that had brought them to this point.
"November 3rd won't be an unhappy day for either of us anymore," JJ said, smiling at him.
"No, I suppose it won't be," Spencer replied, his arms still tight around her, "that was sort of the point."
"What if I had said no?" She teased.
"Then it would forever be a day of terror."
Spencer started cleaning up a couple minutes after this exchange, leaving JJ on the couch thinking.
"I know when I want to get married!" She called.
"You've picked a date already? You haven't even been wearing that for an hour-"
"February 7th, the next one of course, so we have time to plan," she had gotten off the couch and walked into the kitchen where he was watching the dishes.
He knew what that day was and he looked at her, surprised that she remembered.
"You remember?"
"I spent days worrying that I'd never see you again, of course I remember."
February 7th had been the day that Spencer had been abducted by Tobias Hankel, almost two years ago.
He wasn't looking at her anymore, despite feeling her eyes on him. His hands were still in the water, but were still as he thought about it.
"We'd have to get an indoor venue, right? It'd be too cold to do it outside."
She smiled and wrapped her arms around him, "is that a yes to February 7th?"
He nodded, "February 7th, 2010."
That's the epilogue done! I'm not sure if I should make it a two parter, perhaps add the teams reaction and maybe even the wedding day?
I was thinking I might make a one-shot of the wedding at a later date, but let me know what you'd rather have! I was also thinking about a sequel to release next year, around November. Let me know what you guys think in the reviews! If you guys want a sequel, I'll write one!
Thank you all for following, reviewing and enjoying my story! You guys gave me a lot of confidence with all the positive feedback.
Thanks to Annajadekin that prompted this story, I hope you enjoyed it as well!
If anybody does want this to be a two parter, I'll release it in about two weeks! And if any of you want a one-shot, it'll be in February when the wedding is. Feel free to follow me so, you'll be alerted to this and the possible sequel.
Thank you all again! And like always, feel free to go check out my other stories!